Songs: Halsey - Control; The Connells - '74-'75

I had to admit I was prepared to get kicked out of the Raiders and be fed to the skags, before I walked into HQ. Tannis informed us that Lilith was upstairs and she looked pretty curious about what had gone down. That had to mean that Lil was still angry as fuck. And that wasn't good.

"I got your back, chica. Don't worry. We all know she was wrong to order Athena to be shot. It'll be alright." Mordecai said to me, as I took a deep breath before going up the stairs to face Lilith's wrath.

"Thanks, Mordy. That means a lot. It really does.I don't think I was ever as scared of Lilith as I am right now."

"Me too, chica, me too."

I took another deep breath and started walking up the stairs. It felt like it took us an eternity to get there, but it was probably just a few seconds. When we got upstairs, we saw Lilith pacing back and forth again.

"Hey, Lil." I said quietly. I noticed that my voice sounded shaky. Fuck. Lilith looked up from the ground and glared at me, then at Mordecai.

"Look, I know you're upset-"

"Upset? I'm fucking ANGRY. What the hell did you all think you were doing down there? You all wanted me to take charge of the Raiders, you wanted me to take over from Roland! I made a decision down there, it's not up to you to question it! Not in front of everyone!" she snapped.

"I know, Lil. I'm sorry." I said.

"Look, the point is, we can't make any rash decisions like that. Athena's story upset you, it gave us all a lot to think about. You were not even near a good place to make the decision to have her executed." Mordecai agreed.

"Who made you the judge of that? I'm perfectly capable of making decisions!" Lilith replied and started pacing up and down faster.

"For God's sake, Lil, would you just sit down!" I shouted at her. Her pacing made me nervous and I hated it and I couldn't talk to her like that. To my surprise Lilith actually pulled up a chair and sat down, after staring at me for a long time. I sighed with relief and Mordecai and I sat down opposite her.

"Lilith. Tell us what's wrong." I said to her. I was pretty sure I knew what was up with her. Or at least what played a role in her current state. I just wanted her to tell us.

"Nothing's wrong. As I said, I'm perfectly fine." she answered.

"You're not. You're nervous as hell." Mordecai replied.

"How the fuck would you know?"

"You've been pacing back and forth nervously since we got here with Athena. You've been snappy with her since she woke up. You've been glaring at anyone who suggested that she might not be fully in the wrong. You only ever get like that when you're nervous or when you're on your period. Considering the circumstances, it's more likely that you're nervous. No point hiding it. I've known you for long enough. We built explosives for Moxxi together and all. I know you, girl." I told her.

"Yeah, I'm nervous! So what? I had to make a life and death decision out there, don't try and tell me you wouldn't be nervous." she replied.

"And that's why we're here. I'd be nervous as hell if I was in your shoes. And I wouldn't make that kind of decision on the spot. I'd think about it. A lot. So why do you think you're in any way ready to have Athena executed? Right after she told us her version of the events?" I asked.

"It's her fault that Roland is dead! It's her fault everything happened the way it happened!" she insisted.

"And why is that exactly?" Mordecai wanted to know.

"She helped Jack get into power. She could have killed him or left him before giving him the Vault. She could have avoided all of this. And then... no one would have had to die. Not Helena Pierce and her train of survivors, not Bloodwing or Angel or... or Roland." Lilith answered. She looked close to tears now.

"Lilith, do you even hear yourself? You were there and helped out for most of it, too! You betrayed Jack at the very end, but chances were that he would have gotten into the Vault either way." I said.

"But... she can't just get away with it!" Lilith protested weakly. Her voice was shaky and her eyes were glassy.

"Who says she did just get away with it? She doesn't have to die. I mean, what did you want to hear from her, when you asked her why? What was the answer that wouldn't have gotten her killed?"

"I... I don't know! I just... I wanted to hear that she was sorry about what she did to all of us. Don't you think she should be?"

"But, Lil. She said she regrets working for Jack. She is sorry. And I think for her it's a lot to admit to regretting something." Mordecai said. Lilith had tears streaming down her face now. I got up and walked over to her, giving her a hug and trying to calm her down. I was pretty sure we just had managed to actually get through to her.

"It's easy to say that, but... I regret helping Jack. I regret it every single day and I feel terrible about it. Because that's just the thing - Roland and I helped Jack, too. And if we hadn't, maybe... maybe he would never have gotten that far. I keep asking myself what would have happened if we never helped him? And it's giving me nightmares, it's keeping me awake at night. Even more so now that Jack is actually dead." she finally admitted, shaking and crying in my arms.

"It's okay, Lil. None of that is your fault. And none of that is Athena's fault either." I kept repeating to her.

"Why did you never say anything, Lil? You know we're here for you. Goddamnit, Lilith, why do we always have to get you to a meltdown before you tell us stuff like that? It ain't healthy, Lil." Mordecai said, shaking his head.

"I... I don't know. I thought I had to be strong, you know. Now that I'm in charge of the Raiders." she replied, laughing a little through her tears.

"Yeah, but not like that, Lil! You're just gonna drive yourself insane. And you look like you're insane, too." Mordecai said, a sympathetic smile on his face. I carefully rubbed Lilith's back while she wiped away some tears from her face.

"I guess... it's just... it's so difficult, getting rid of Hyperion and all this, while knowing... while knowing that I was responsible for Jack getting where he was. It feels... wrong. Hypocritical." she replied.

"Oh, come on, Lil! Everyone makes mistakes. You made a mistake back on Elpis. At the time you couldn't have known how Jack would turn out. And Roland supported the whole thing, too. Even Moxxi didn't suspect anything at first and Moxxi KNOWS people. Stuff like that happens. Killing Athena won't make you feel any better, at least not for long." I said to her. She buried her face in her hands.

"I know. I know. I don't know what I was thinking, I just... I just wanted her dead. I really wanted her dead. But it wouldn't be right and also... I suppose the guardian that showed up proved that even further."

"Yeah, what was up with that anyway? Was that thing an Eridian guardian? Like an actual real one?" I asked. The question had been on my mind all this time and I really needed to know. This couldn't wait until Lilith felt better.

"Yeah, that was an Eridian guardian. And he stopped bullets mid-air." Mordecai answered. I raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"Fuck. That's... is that good? Or is that bad? I really don't know what to think of it." I admitted.

"You're not alone. I have no idea what he was trying to tell us. A war is coming? We'll need all the Vault Hunters we can get?" Lilith said.

"I guess we should start recruiting or something?" Mordecai suggested.

"But for what? We don't even know what's going to happen. Or when it's going to happen. We can't just recruit for some indefinite date, can we?"

"No, not really. Maybe we should focus on the Athena problem at hand. What are we going to do with her? Let her go?" I asked.

"I guess so. What other choice do we have? We can let her go or kill her and since no one wants her dead, not even the Eridians, we probably have to let her go." Lilith answered and shrugged.

"I suppose she'll be a powerful ally, if it comes to a war and we need more Vault Hunters. It would be best to have her on our side by letting her go." I said.

"I agree. Athena made a mistake, just like you, Lil. And she's regretting it. If you get to live, she should get to live as well." Mordecai agreed.

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. I'll go and tell her when I'm... when I've calmed down a little. I probably should tell Gaige and Axton that they shouldn't kill Aurelia, but bring her here, instead. We've been told we need Vault Hunters, so I guess we should get them, no matter who they used to work for." Lilith said.

"Wait, you told them to kill Aurelia?" I asked.

"Yeah. I mean, I kinda knew I wanted to kill Athena and Aurelia was there, just the same. I figured it would be easier than transporting her all the way back from Epitah. And I mean, I also told them to go and hunt the Vault there, if they got the chance, so I hope they've done that one first." Lilith told me.

"Echo them. NOW."

"Okay, okay. Relax. They probably wouldn't kill her without checking back in, anyway." Lilith said and fumbled with the controls of her ECHO device.

"Axton, Gaige, change of plans: If you haven't found the Vault on Epitah yet, forget about it and get Aurelia. DON'T kill her. Did you hear that? DO NOT kill her. We had a little situation here with an Eridian guardian and we need all the Vault Hunters we can get, because there is a war coming. That's at least what he told us. Get Aurelia and bring her here, as soon as possible." Lilith messaged them.

"Good. Let's hope they haven't killed anyone yet." I said.

"Yo, yo, yo, Lilith! What's up?" Gaige's voice suddenly came from Lilith's ECHO device. She rolled her eyes.

"Gaige, I've just told you what's up."

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Right. Okay, so we have actually found and opened the Vault and we also have Aurelia. We've had her for about... I dunno... a week or two? I suppose we're gonna head back with the last ship this evening, so. We'll see what we can find to get back as quickly as possible. You doing okay? Did you get Athena?"

"What is up, Gaige?" I chimed in. I was really happy to hear Gaige's voice again.

"Yo, Nova! How's the new leg? You like it?"

"I love it, it's amazing. But yeah, back to the topic. We did find Athena. But we decided to let her go, because of all the stuff that's gone down with the Eridian."

"Okay. Well, that's good, I guess. We'll try to get back to you quickly, so. I'll have an update for you in... maybe an hour or so?"

"Awesome, Gaige. Talk to you then. We'll have to go and tell Athena she's free to go now. She doesn't know yet." Lilith said to her and ended the connection.

"You ready, Lil?" Mordecai asked.

"I suppose I am. As ready as I'll ever be."