It felt ridiculous— feeling his heart wrench in pain, fingernails creating dents in the carton of milk in his hand. This was all because of the disappointment that his cowardice had brought with it.

What would Shizuo know, anyway?

Despite that monstrous strength and temper shorter than the cigarette stick between Shizuo's chapped lips, there was still a number of people who enjoyed being by his side. Izaya wasn't sure what was it that they saw in Shizuo, something worthy enough to look past the stupidity of such existence.

Do they see this side of you every day?

Do they treat you kindly every day?

All Izaya had was Shinra.

"That makes me feel rather... envious."

It was a relief that Shizuo didn't hear those words he uttered despite how close they were sitting next to each other. He didn't know what Shizuo would've thought of if he knew. Izaya wondered if Shizuo would show him that kind expression to him more often— although that'd probably come with a price.

"Shizu-chan wants me to go, right?"

Shizuo frowned at the question, and Izaya didn't want to admit it, but perhaps Shizuo felt sorry towards him.

"Just sayin', you can talk to him tomorrow, but if it was me, I'd settle it right away cos I won't be able to sleep if I didn't."

"By 'settling it right away', do you mean by being violent?"

"Well, fuck, Izaya. If someone was being shit to me, I think that it's clear that they're asking me to punch their face in."

Izaya just laughed at Shizuo's remarks.

They were opposites.

If he'd gone by his heart, then Izaya would've chosen to run away. Run to the nearest city and disappear for a week or so, like the coward he was, just enough time to mend himself until he comes back beaming with smiles and a plan for revenge hidden up in his sleeve.

Meanwhile Shizuo— well, to tell the truth, Izaya wasn't surprised to hear about this, since Shizuo was an impatient person that he would probably get mad if his milkshake took a little too long to be ready. Izaya could picture that happening in his head. But it didn't seem so bad to be that way. It only meant that he wouldn't have worries plaguing his mind for the rest of the week as the issue has already been addressed.

"All right."

"What?"

"It won't be fair if I let him win, ne? After all he's done, I don't want him to remember me by my weakness," that last word felt bitter on his tongue, saying it in front of his enemy, no less, "…if anyone's going to have the last laugh, that'd be me."

Images of the weak moments he'd displayed in front of Shizuo and even Nakura flashing before his eyes had him feeling agitated. He didn't want to be remembered as that, although he knew how humans would mostly remember things from the negative aspects of something. Therefore, they might do the same with him.

He was more than that.

"Uh, sure," Shizuo pursed his lips to the side, brows knitting; he wondered if Izaya was aware that they weren't going there to cause more chaos.

"I'll go, but before that, grant my wish."

"What is it?"

There was a faint smile on Izaya's lips then, his hand in the pocket of his hoodie and finger trailing along the sharp blade of his switchblade. He took longer to answer this time, as though he was savouring the moment.

"Fight me."

"I wouldn't mind killing you, but, really?"

"I think I need some familiarity back."

"Ha? Aren't you just using me?"

"I don't remember ever asking you to offer your help in the first place."

"Then you should've said nothing on the rooftop!"

"Again with the rooftop, I'm starting to think you regretted your decision," Izaya flicked his switchblade open and pointed the tip towards Shizuo's jugular, his familiar smirk playing on his lips but the feeling wasn't quite there, "won't you heal me, Shizu-chan?"

"Fuck it."

Shizuo didn't know why he was doing this, his body was acting on its own as if it really was used to this rendezvous of them, dodging every obstacles in his way so skilfully in order to reach Izaya— but ironically, he wasn't actually trying to do that today. He was only following Izaya's request, but in a way, he guessed that it was a selfish wish from his own part, too.

Something familiar would be great to get them back in the right track.

"Haha! Isn't this fun?"

Izaya was twirling around as he skipped down the streets which were only lit by dim street lamps that barely did anything to light the way (Shizuo secretly hoped that Izaya would run straight into a trashcan), the hood of his hoodie billowing in the wind. He seemed more like the Izaya Shizuo knew.

It wasn't like he wanted to gain such empathy towards Izaya, but after seeing how much of a wreck Izaya could be just from Shinra's poor execution of a plan, he couldn't help but to feel sorry. Truth to be told, he didn't want to be. Shizuo wasn't sure if Izaya would change and actually show his emotions from now on, and stop bothering him after just one day of all this. It probably wasn't enough for Izaya who was so persistent.

If it's like that, then... should he give Izaya a little push?

"You should be aware of your surroundings, Shizu-chan," he heard Izaya's voice croon before there was a slash across his neck, the sharp blade stung when it made a cut in his skin, "Red is a good look on you."

Izaya looked proud of his artwork.

"It seems you're still the bastard I know," Shizuo flashed a grin—well, it appeared to be rather sarcastic when accompanied with the clenching of his jaw and grinding of teeth. That, and the street lamp that he pulled out from the ground.

"What are you talking about? I wouldn't let myself to mull over something so small for a long time. It's time for me to rise back up."

The smile Izaya put on appeared more genuine this time, stepping to the side when Shizuo flung the street lamp in his direction. What Shizuo didn't expect was Izaya jumping onto it only to lunge at him for another attack he didn't have time to prepare for. Shizuo's shoulder was already bleeding by the time he realized it, blood staining his white shirt. It'd be such a hassle to clean that now.

"Isn't this taking it a bit too far? You're starting to really piss me off."

"We're just starting."

It was pissing him off too much. Izaya's calm demeanor. He'd thought that it was going to be a harmless little chase, but of course, nothing could ever be normal with Orihara Izaya, couldn't it? The lamp post he had in his hand snapped in two, sharp edges digging into his palms and drawing more blood.

Izaya led him to an alleyway after, and it was dark to see anything; he could barely see the outline of Izaya's figure. If only the street lamp in his clutch still worked, then it would've been better.

"You know, I wonder why Shizu-chan decided to act so kind to me today."

"Ha?"

"It's really not like Shizu-chan. Very out of character."

"Perhaps it's because you're so pitiful."

"I'm not pitiful."

"Can you stop with that?"

"You need to stop as well— don't think you're less of a monster now."

There it was again, Izaya pushing him to his limit. Shizuo was starting to see a pattern here. Whenever he said something akin to Izaya's display of raw emotions earlier, he'd deny it and insult Shizuo. Did Izaya really think he had no feelings or something? Because that'd be pure bullshit.

"Shut up!"

A direct hit to the back of his head came out of nowhere, and it wasn't Izaya's doing, since his short arms couldn't reach that far. So who was it? Shizuo turned around to meet a boy with light brown hair, only a tad bit shorter than him but definitely younger. The mysterious boy was holding a metal baseball bat, pointing it at Shizuo while he held a defensive stance.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Why should I tell you my name?" the boy answered Shizuo's question.

"I didn't know you were in the vicinity, Haruhi-san."

Izaya's voice rang in his ears, which made Shizuo grew angrier. He averted his gaze back to Izaya, who only stared at him back, arching a brow before unfolding his fingers to hold his palm up for Shizuo to see, switchblade falling to the ground with a clang.

"The fuck do you mean you don't know? You probably called him here."

"He did call me, told me to make you stop bothering him," Haruhi (now Shizuo knew his name, thanks to Izaya) said further, ignoring Izaya at this point.

"What are you talking about? You're here on your own whim," Izaya insisted.

This situation was difficult for him to even comprehend— the disappointed look on Izaya's face told Shizuo that he was being betrayed, that Haruhi was acting against Izaya, yet Haruhi's expression was nonchalant as though he was telling the truth.

It was only a choice of who to believe in.

Shizuo would trust Haruhi more than Izaya.

"Don't be shy, Orihara-san. I can be your knight in shining armor," Haruhi finally paid attention to Izaya, taking a step closer to him.

"This has nothing to do with you. Did Shiki-san send you here?"

Now who the fuck was Shiki-san? All this conversation was something Shizuo wasn't interested in since he couldn't understand a thing.

"Nope! I'm just here to help you out. I know you don't want to be around this monster, like you just told me on the phone, Orihara-san."

Shizuo's expression changed with Haruhi's words, getting real annoyed by this boy who was hot and cold, much like Izaya himself.

"Don't you know it's a common rule that you should not go against the boss?" Izaya whispered to Haruhi, expression darkening.

"What if the subordinate wants to see the boss bleed? You know, I heard that someone was throwing up because they couldn't handle a bit of pressure. Maybe they cried too? You would know."

"Rumors fly fast in this city, hm? But I'm sure the reason you're here is not because you want to protect me, Haruhi-san."

"You got me. I came here to join in the fun."

Izaya's fist still hurt, bluish bruises hadn't healed when it made contact with Haruhi's cheek, catching Haruhi off guard. It didn't faze Haruhi, though. He continued with the plan he'd devised before coming here, grabbing Izaya's fist when it came towards him the second time since he knew to expect it then.

"Heiwajima-san, he was faking it."

"What?" Shizuo furrowed his brows in confusion at Haruhi's words.

"Whatever he showed you, if he cried or throw up, was all an act to get you to sympathize with him, so he could use that to his advantage later. Don't you know Orihara-san? He's doesn't care for all of this. He was never affected by Kishitani's plans," Haruhi chuckled, shaking his head.

Izaya made a quick dive to retrieve his switchblade, attempting to stab Haruhi with it, but he didn't get to since Haruhi's next words changed everything, causing his surprised gaze to shot back to Shizuo.

"He knew it from the start."

"No—Shizu-chan—"

There was something noticeably different in Shizuo's eyes when their gazes met—something that wasn't quite humane. It was what Izaya wanted all along, right? To unleash that thing. But what ran through his mind when there were fingers encircled around his neck -and probably leaving bruises- was that maybe he'd made a mistake. He couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the absurdity of it all before sputtering, air being squeezed out of him.

Be careful of what you wish for, huh? I should remember that next time.

Then the world turned black.

But not for Shizuo, his became clearer.

How long had passed since then, he didn't know— but once he came to, the sight that greeted his eyes almost made him gag.

His hands were covered in blood, and a chunk of flesh he was sure he'd ripped off of someone stuck to his arm; red splashed on the fair skin. Did it belong to Izaya or the other guy? Shizuo didn't know, but he was sure of one thing— that it was his fingers that had gone ahead and tore it apart from the owner's body, like a ruthless beast that he'd sworn himself to never be one. Yet he always fell in fate's hands.

Shizuo only wanted to protect someone.

Who knew the one chance he got to protect a person, help them in any way possible, that it turned out to be Izaya? It was the worst person he could get. If he could give Izaya back to God, or whoever thought it was a great idea to gift Shizuo with the complex being that is Izaya, Shizuo would. Izaya was too complicated for a simple minded Shizuo. Izaya talked in riddles, hid his feelings behind a mask and loved thrills from causing chaos. All the things Shizuo wasn't an expert on.

He hung his head down; disappointed in himself once again, tremors shaking his body while sobs fall from his lips. There were no tears trickling down his cheeks, because Shizuo wouldn't let any fall. After such monstrosity, he didn't even dare to cry for it was something human does. And Shizuo didn't feel much like a human.

Splat sounds of something hitting flesh, causing blood to ooze out made him want to cover his ears, but if he moved an inch, would he go back to seeing red? With a quick, tired glance ahead, he saw Izaya stepping on Haruhi's unconscious form, more specifically, his head before he spat on it, cursing Haruhi's whole life. Perhaps Izaya was right that Haruhi was telling lies. It was too late now, though. He should've weighed the options more before doing anything rash based on his temper.

Izaya limped to him then— he looked ragged, with a busted lip and a leg that was slightly twisted the wrong way (if it was painful, which Shizuo guessed so, Izaya didn't show it). The first thing that greeted Shizuo were arms enveloping him into an embrace, guiding his head towards Izaya's chest where he could see more damp spots which reeked of the metallic smell of blood.

"Are you this weak to be crying like this?" Izaya laughed, only to wheeze after.

Shizuo didn't respond.

It made Izaya sigh, knowing Shizuo had retreated into a shell, refusing to respond— all because of the guilt from hurting him and Haruhi (well, if he was to be honest, he was glad for what Shizuo did to Haruhi). Leaning away slightly, Izaya brought his hands up to cup Shizuo's cheeks in his palm, tipping Shizuo's head up to have a look at the face which he expected to be wet from tears. He was a little disappointed to see that that was not the case.

"I thought I could see you cry. What a shame."

"…"

"Well, Shizu-chan was just protecting me."

"Heh… I wanted to hurt you at the same time," Shizuo sounded tired, letting his head drop back down.

"That's not new, isn't it? But thank you, Shizu-chan."

Izaya let out a long exhale, his gaze was sad and fingers still in the air as he didn't drop his hands when Shizuo drew his head away, but soon enough they were tangled in the blond locks before his eyes, running through the strands because he didn't know— didn't know what to do with his shaky hands that he had to start touching his nemesis. How laughable.

Shizuo no longer said anything, and Izaya wasn't sure if Shizuo had ended up falling asleep.

"I think I've gained back that sense of familiarity that I wanted, but unlike what I thought, instead of being above everyone else- I can't resist these demanding feelings after all."

This is the story of two souls who had no place they belonged in, but still went on with their lives; unchanging, in hope that there'd come help to pull them from the dark pit of life, alone with only themselves to rely on.

They were both humans.