Note: Just a crack and a little OOCness! Hahaha! And thanks for the reviews, it always inspires me to write more one-shots for hirumamo. Kekekeke!


It was a sunny day and Hiruma Mamori is on her way home from her grocery shopping. As she reached the front door of their house, Mamori heard her two-year old son and her husband talking. She opened the door knob quietly and strutted her way to her husband and son who was sitting on the couch. It wasn't an everyday occurrence for her to have a chance to know what her son and husband would be talking about.

She just stood there behind them unnoticed, Ichi was sitting on Youichi's lap. She was thinking of giving her husband a piece of her mind if ever they would be talking about guns, hacking or blackmail when Ichi asked Youichi, "Dada, what's Yuri like?" she heard, 'Yuri? Is that a girl's name?' Mamori thought as her brows twitched as a thought ran through her mind. 'Is Youichi cheating?'

"Kekekeke! She's fucking pretty. She has a red hair and also have fucking blue eyes, she definitely looks like your Fucking Mom." Hiruma mused gleefully as he ruffled Ichi's hair. There was a glint of amusement in Hiruma's voice which Mamori found unusual, he never sounded like that when talking about other girls.

'Is Youichi flirting behind my back?' she thought as she heard Ichi asked again, Ichi had this eagerness on his face, "Will she like me Dada?" her son asked with sparkling eyes and her chest tightened. Her son just asked if her husband's other girl would like him. "Of course she would fucking will you little brat! Kekekeke! That's why you should help me to fucking protect her so that other boys won't fucking steal her away. Kekekeke!" Hiruma cackled as Ichi nodded enthusiastically.

"When would I meet her Dada?" Ichi said as he clapped his hands, he looks so excited, Mamori could feel her chest tightened even more. Her husband is making their son like his other woman. "In about fucking eight months little brat. Kekekeke! But for now you should help me handle your Fucking Mom if she would know about Yuri." Youichi mused as Ichi squealed out a small "Yes Dada! Kekekeke!"

At that moment, Mamori had enough, her husband is cheating on her and her son badly wants to meet that woman, "Aw! What the fuck?! Fucking Wife stop tha-Ow!" Youichi said as he evaded the things that Mamori was throwing at him from her grocery bags, protecting Ichi in the process.

"You! I never thought you would cheat on me!" Mamori shouted at him as she continue throwing things. Youichi hid Ichi under the table and hissed at him, "Now this is what I'm telling you about 'handle the Fucking Mom' little brat." He whispered to his son before he made her way to Mamori, he evaded the things she was throwing at him easily, the perks of being a quarterback.

When Youichi reached her he held both of her wrist to stop her from throwing things at him and cackled a "Close your eyes Fucking Son." Before he slammed his lips to Mamori's hungrily. Ichi just covered his eyes with both of his hands as he was still under the table.

Mamori was protesting at first but gave in as Youichi wasn't yielding, he stopped kissing her after making sure that she was out of breath to make her calm and shut up at the same time. "Figures, Fucking Wife." He hissed as their lips were still centimeters from each other.

Mamori was still dazed and panting heavily because of Youichi's kiss when she looked at him straight in the eyes, "Are you flirting behind my back Youichi?" she asked, hurt was evident in her eyes, "Hell no." Youichi answered as he held her gaze evenly.

"Do you have a mistress?" Mamori whispered as her eyes starts to water, it hurts to imagine Youichi with someone else. "Fucking none." Youichi said as he stared at her intently.

"Then who the hell is Yuri?! Do you love her?!" Mamori shouted on his face and Youichi's eyes widened, his Fucking Wife just cursed. He cackled evilly, "Of course I love her Fucking Wife, and you should love her too. Kekekeke!" he mused gleefully at Mamori.

"You… You jerk! Why would I lov-" Mamori was cut off when Youichi spoke again, "Kekeke! She'll be here in about eight fucking months, and she'll gonna be calling you Mom." Youichi said in amusement as Mamori was about to retort, "And why would she call me Mom-eh?"

She was staring at Youichi dumbfounded when a smile formed on Youichi's lips, yes a smile, a genuine smile, not that evil maniac grin he always had. He gave a quick peck at Mamori's lips before hissing, "You're pregnant, Fucking Wife." He said with a glint of happiness in his voice.

"Eh? How did you know?" Mamori asked him, and Youichi just rolled his eyes.

-Flashback-

2 days ago…

"Fucking Wife where's my coff—" Youichi trailed off as he saw Mamori drinking on his cup of black coffee while she was watching TV with Ichi. She drank a black coffee, without sugar or anything to make it sweet. Youichi just stared at her but did not say anything, he just seated himself on the couch as a hypotheses was forming on his mind.

Yesterday

"Come on Youichi, just one bite!" Mamori whined as she held a creampuff to her husband's lips. That sweet treat that her husband detested for years, she wants to see him bite it. Youichi just stared at her like she had grown to heads but he gave in, if the action-reaction on his mind would be accurate, the hypotheses he had would be a fact.

As he took a bite and munched on the creampuff, Mamori giggled and smiled at him brightly before muttering a "Thanks Youichi. I wish Kariya can make a creampuff with a black coffee filling." and gave him a peck on the cheek. A happy grin made its way on his face as he thought. 'Fucking Affirmative. Kekekeke!'

-End of Flashback-

"The last time you did those fucking weird things was when you were pregnant with fucking Ichi, Kekekeke!" Youichi cackled and Mamori blushed, realizing how dumb she was on thinking that her husband cheated on her. "I-I'm sorry." She whispered guiltily.

"Keh. Now that give me that fucking face, I don't want my Fucking Daughter to be a goddamn introvert or something because her Fucking Mom was sulking about nonsense." Youichi rolled his eyes as Mamori huffed, "Mou Youichi!- hey how did you know that it would be a girl?" Mamori asked.

"Me and Fucking Ichi wants a girl. Kekekeke!" he cackled gleefully and pointed on his son under the table. Ichi, upon hearing his name suddenly spoke up, "Can I peek now Dada?" he asked as he was still covering his eyes ever since Youichi told him.

Mamori couldn't help but laugh and Youichi just snorted at their son's obedience. "Why yes Fucking Son, now let's raid the fucking kitchen and make your Fucking Mom and Yuri a fucking creampuff with coffee filling for them to pig out on snack time. Kekeke!" Youichi said as he helped his son get out under the table and carried him in his arms. "Aye aye! Kekeke!" Ichi squealed happily.

Mamori just smiled the thoughtfulness of her husband and son. She caressed her tummy slightly and sighed happily. Well at least she won't be the only girl in the family now.


Thanks for reading! :)