A/N: Most of the reviews reflected a curiosity about what Bella was thinking. Well...here it is. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
MarinaNamaste is my beta.
My dad looked so proud of me when I told him that I was getting a bonus. So I told him exactly what I thought when I'd found out.
"It's just so amazing," I gushed, happy that I was able to distract him, "that I get paid to read books and tell people—even the authors—what I think. It's like my favorite thing to do and they pay me for it!"
"Well, baby-girl, I always said you had insight where others didn't. I'm glad your boss recognizes that," Charlie said. "Have a seat, please. You're making me all nervous standing up like that."
While I was looking around for open chairs, Edward had to get his two cents in. "Not that she needs to work, mind you. We have plenty. But Bella finds it so relaxing and fulfilling."
I stopped my search near the bed and just looked at him. What the hell was he even saying? Did he think he allowed me to work? There was never a question in my head that I was going to find I job after college. Did he want me to be a housewife and pine for him while he was at work? What the hell would I do all day? He'd already said that he had no interest in having children and he's the one who employed the housekeeper so I didn't have to do all the chores. Was I just supposed to sit around our luxury apartment—which was way too big for just the two of us—and pine for him while he was away? This had never, ever occurred to me before.
"Bells, there's a chair over here," Jake offered. I tore my gaze away from Edward because of the way he stressed my nickname. I saw a smirk on his face and I smirked back.
"And Edward, you can take that one," Charlie said, pointing at the one on the other side of Billy. The motion caused the tube in his arm to pull and he winced. Well, that was fine with me; let two people be a buffer between Edward and me for a bit. He'd irritated me since I first got the phone call from Billy.
That fact that Aro had to talk him into coming at all was really sticking in my craw. And what was that comment about my company being able to do without me? What did he even know about it? He never asked me about work, so I never told him anything. He did look a little shocked when I said I was getting a bonus. I hoped he didn't ask where I was putting that money. I'd created my own savings account for some reason.
And then there was Jake. I hadn't seen Jacob since that terrible Thanksgiving almost ten years ago. What was that jibe about my wedding invitation "finding" him? Like he'd left a forwarding address when he dumped me. I knew where his dad lived, but after I quit coming home to Forks I quit getting updates on him. Last I heard he was playing football for PACC, which was the t-shirt he was wearing right now.
I looked at Edward who seemed to be waiting for me to make a decision. He didn't know anything about Jake, and that was probably best. I could never bring myself to talk about him. I moved towards the chair next to Jake and sat down. I looked over at my father who looked pleased as punch about something.
Edward stood, appraising Jake where he sat. I knew what he was thinking. Jake sitting there in his ripped jeans, faded t-shirt, and his short cropped hair without a hint of product—all Edward saw was a rube going nowhere. I saw the subtle differences. He was wearing ripped jeans, but they weren't from the local discount store, they were Levis. He wasn't wearing knock off converse, they were the real deal. His nails, which were constantly caked in grease even after scrubbing them, were clean and neatly trimmed. They were such small details, but I saw them.
"So, Dad, what did the doctor say? You said something about a surgery?" I asked, trying to get my mind off the scathing looks my husband was flashing my ex-boyfriend.
"Jake knows more about it than I do. I just leave details up to him," Charlie said. He did look like he was getting tired.
I looked at Jake who looked a little flummoxed, "Yeah, well, Dr. Gerandy says that there's a great heart surgeon in Seattle who wants to come up the day after tomorrow to perform the surgery. He's the best and so it will kinda be like a teaching opportunity for the surgeons here."
"Kinda?" Edward asked in his condescending. "And the day after tomorrow? Charlie, do you want me to make some phone calls and see if we can get someone here tomorrow?"
I watched as Jake bit the inside of his cheek. He was not happy at being mocked. But, Edward didn't see what I saw. Jake's adolescent face had matured and there was strength in his posture where before there had only been levity. He had always been athletic, but now he was sculpted. And the fact that he was biting his cheek instead of verbally or physically lashing out at Edward showed that he had matured.
What I couldn't decide was whether Edward was always this hateful or if it was just being here in Forks that was affecting him.
"No thank you, Edward," Charlie replied, "if Jake says he's got it handled, then he's got it handled. He's never steered me wrong yet."
"Okay," Edward said, raising his hands in surrender, "I don't want to mess up a system. I just know some people I could pull some strings." He rolled his eyes in disbelief.
"Thank you, Edward," I said. I made eye contact with him and smiled. It was nice he was willing to help even if it was rejected.
"So, Jake, is it?" Edward said and cleared his throat. My eyes went to Jake who had his shit-eating smirk on his face.
"Yes, Jake it is," he answered dryly. I had to watch how this played out.
"What is it that you do?" Edward asked. This I was actually interested in. I hadn't heard any news on Jake in years.
"A little bit of this and a little bit of that," Jake replied. "I got a degree or two and now I dabble in a little business." He smiled and I looked between Edward and Jake. I saw Edward's eyes dip to Jake's PACC football shirt and Edward's placating smile spread across his chest.
"Oh, so you graduated from Port Angeles Community College? What degree did you earn?" Edward was being indulgent. I didn't like his tone.
"Business. It was a springboard into other things," Jake said and then turned to me. "Bells, you should see the Rabbit, I got it all souped up."
"He a'int kiddin, kid," Charlie added. "You wouldn't even recognize it."
"You still have that ratty old car?" I asked smiling. I did not miss the turn of subject, and I was going to get to the bottom of it. He'd said a couple of degrees. Where else did he go to school?
"It's not ratty anymore," Billy added.
"What's a rabbit?" Edward asked. All eyes swung to him.
"It's a car, son," Charlie scoffed and then it turned into a cough.
"Yeah, Jake rebuilt it from scraps," I added, but didn't make eye contact with my ex. It was still too weird. I was impressed he didn't go off on Edward, but I wasn't ready to be Jake's pal.
Edward didn't like being corrected or belittled. I could see him reaching the end of his patience.
Charlie's coughing fit got worse and a nurse came in to check on him. Edward's cell phone buzzed and he looked at the screen.
"Excuse me, I have to take this. It's work," he said looking from me to Jake. "Hello, Aro," he said before exiting the room.
"Is he okay?" I asked, standing up to go nearer to Charlie.
"Yes. I'm just going to give him something that will stop the cough with a little sedative action as well." she replied with a smile.
"Well, Charlie," Billy said, standing up with a groan. "I gotta go take my meds. I'ma leave you here with the kids until you fall asleep, 'kay?" I looked back at Jake and then back at Billy with a little bit of fear at being left alone with Jake. But when I looked back at Charlie, he just looked so contented.
I turned and gave Billy a big hug. "Thanks for calling me," I whispered in his ear.
"It's good to have you back home," he whispered back. "And don't be too hard on my dumbass son. He's grown up a lot." I giggled and released him.
"Goodbye Chief," both the old men said to each other. I watched the nurse inject the medication into Charlie's IV.
"He'll probably be out for a few hours, but you're both welcome to sit in here since it's a private suite and all," the nurse said. "We just love him so much." She looked at him kindly and I felt yet another pang of guilt in my gut at staying away so long. She moved towards the monitors to check them again and I stepped forward and grabbed his hand. He squeezed my hand and smiled again.
"So, good to see you, Bells. Makes it worth it," he said drowsily. And another twist of the guilt knife tore my heart.
"Thank you," I said to the nurse. "Thank you for taking such good care of him." She nodded and smiled and left. Charlie's eyes dropped shut and I just looked at him for a few moments. I went back to my chair and plopped down, still feeling extremely guilty.
"I know he's glad you're here, Bells," Jake said, his fist hitting my knee. He was trying to reassure me. "He don't care what kept you away, just that you're back. So quit holding on to that."
"Yeah, because it's that easy," I said, sarcastically dropping my face into my hands and resting my elbows on my knees.
"Bells, I know it's my fault you stayed away. We all know it," his voice was so soft and conciliatory I had to look up at him. I didn't say anything because it was true.
Mostly.
"That didn't keep me from calling him," I finally responded, talking into my knees.
"Look, Bella, I'm so sorry for everything. It took me a while to realize how stupid I was. And I was so, so stupid. And that Thanksgiving…" He stopped and I turned my head to look at him. He shrugged and, if it were possible, he blushed.
He was so sweet and it was so honest. And remembering that day and how horrible it was, well I laughed.
"Are you laughing at me?" he asked with that full on Jake smile.
"Yes I am." I laughed even harder. "Jacob, you were sullen, surly, and bratty that whole day. It reminded me of that day that Rebekkah took your bike to a friend's house and your mom told you it'd be okay. You were so sure it wasn't, you threw a tantrum and ended up grounded for two weeks."
He smiled at the memory. "You're right. It was exactly like that. You were talking about all your classes and your new friends. I'd given you up and I was never going to have you back."
"Oh, Jake, I never wanted to break up. That was all you," I said, regret dripping from every word.
"I know," he said quietly and I looked into those onyx eyes again. "Don't think I don't regret that every single day of my life."
"Jake," I tried and looked down again. I remembered what it was like to be around him. I never laughed so hard as when I was with him. But, I've also never cried so hard than after he broke things off.
"Look, Bella. I know you're married," I saw him flick a disgusted look at the door where Edward had exited, but he didn't say anything negative. "I just want things to be at a point where we can both come to family events and not have it be ugly. I don't want to be the reason you don't visit Charlie. I travel so much anyway, it won't be an issue." Billy was right, he had grown up a lot.
That surprised me. I reached out for his hand and held it gently. I forgot how warm his hands always were. He wrapped his other hand around mine.
"You're right, I quit coming home to avoid seeing you. But that didn't make me quit calling Charlie. He never mentioned you so it's not like he made it uncomfortable. I feel kinda lost right now. I don't know if it's because I lost touch with Charlie or what, but I think it would be a good idea, what you're suggesting." I needed to reconnect with this place.
"Good, Bells. I think that's good," he said, squeezing my hands. I heard Edward's voice near the door and I let go of his hands. The door cracked open and Edward's head popped in.
"Isabella, this is going to take a few minutes. I have to go down where I get better reception," he said. He sounded a little irritated, but frankly I was happy to be alone with my father and Jake for a little bit.
"Okay," I answered. "Come back up when you're finished." He took one last look at Jake and exited.
"What's up with the 'Isabella'?" he asked with a grin as the door clicked shut. I rolled my eyes.
"He says it sounds more sophisticated," I answered. "It really doesn't matter to me, so I just go along with it."
"It used to matter to you. You spent a good three weeks when you first moved here correcting all your Forks friends until they quit," he reminded me.
"I've learned to pick my battles," I said, though remembering how much it did bother me back then.
"He really hates it when I call you Bells," Jake said again. I giggled. I hadn't giggled this much in a decade.
"I know he does," I confided.
"Can I keep doing it?" he asked with an evil grin. I nodded with a smirk.
"He's not used to people challenging him. I think it'll be good for him," I added. This Jake was so self-possessed. I really liked it. Maybe a little too much.
"I can tell," he said glancing towards the door again as if Edward was still there. "Why don't you challenge him more?"
"I don't know," I answered. Because I didn't. "Life is just easier if I just play along." He looked at me, appraising me from head to toe.
"I won't lie, Isabella, you look great," he eyes darkened and my gut twisted a little. I looked away to in an attempt to ignore the feeling and my eyes fell on my sleeping dad. "But I hope…" he trailed off as he saw my gaze fixed on my father. "Whatcha thinkin' 'bout, Bells?"
It was the line we used so often throughout our childhoods and when we dated, it took me right back there. For the first time in a long time I felt completely safe.
"How is he's going to pay for this?" I answered. "This has got to be so expensive, bringing a specialist in from Seattle? Maybe Edward will let me help."
"Whoa! Let you? What the fuck is that?" he asked, growing angry.
"Well, I need to discuss it with him. He is my husband," I defended, not understanding the source of his anger.
"But 'let' you? Tell me I misheard you. I know the woman who writes literary reviews for World Literature Today chooses her words wisely," he said.
I was floored. How did he knew I wrote for them? Edward didn't even know. Did he keep track of my career? Then, I felt even worse. I didn't have a clue what he was doing with his life and Charlie would have told me if I ever asked. He was dressed like he always did, but his demeanor and the way he spoke at times were evident of something else. But I had never bothered to check.
"Don't worry about any of it. It's all been handled," he said after I didn't say a word. He seemed to be calming himself down. Was he doing breathing techniques?
"What do you mean it's been handled?" I asked, not believing what he said. Any of it.
"The doctor has agreed to come up here at cost to perform the surgery. He's a leading cardiologist in Seattle and he is interested in your father's case. The hospital will cover some of the costs because they are interested in this specialist coming here to perform the surgery as an instructional tool for their on-staff surgeons. The insurance will cover most of the rest and a private donor has offered to cover any additional costs, including Dr. Cullen's travel expenses."
I sat with my mouth hanging wide open. Both relief and confusion were coursing through my brain and heart. Edward didn't talk to his father. They'd had some major argument right before I met him. He said something about ideological differences and that's when he grew much closer to his uncle Aro. But I did know that his father was a surgeon in Seattle. Could it be the same one? I wasn't sure I wanted Edward to know about this. I didn't know if he'd make me leave with him if it were true.
"Who's the private donor?" I asked in a whisper.
"Someone who loves your father, but doesn't want to be named. He's helped a lot of people, Charlie, in the community. He has a lot of people pulling for him," Jake said. He sat back in his chair with a calculating look on his face.
"Look, Bells, I don't want to undo this tentative truce we've just established. But I have some major reservations about that husband of yours. I see evidence of a very controlling and domineering relationship, and as your friend—which I hope I still am—that causes me to worry." He leaned closer to me and his eyes grew tender.
"I don't know your circumstances and I don't know your husband. But I know you. I know that you would not have married this man if he was anything less than wonderful. I have no right to tell you how to live your life, especially after what I put you through. I just hope that his Isabella is the same as my Bella and not some twisted version he has created in his mind."
I barely had time to register his words when the door opened again and Edward came in the door. He saw Jake's posture leaned into me and the look of sincere intensity on his face. He looked over at Charlie and was satisfied that he was asleep.
The switch in Jake's speech patterns was extremely noticeable. He used slang and slurred his letters when speaking to friends and family, but then his tone would change and be very logical, even clinical. His eyes showed a deep understanding that was never there before. What had Jacob Black been doing for the past ten years? I was about to ask when Edward cleared his throat.
"Bella, can we head out. I'm awfully tired and I'm sure you want to be back up here bright and early. Do you mind?" he asked. There was a slight change in his tone—it was more conciliatory. He had just talked to Aro and his uncle usually made him see reason. Jake's words rang louder in my mind, "I hope that his Isabella is not some twisted version he has created in his mind."
"Yeah, let's get going. Dad will be out for a few hours. I'll come back in the morning," I said, looking back at my dad. I was relieved that all the financial arrangements had been made. I was going to offer to help even it drained the savings account that Edward knew nothing about.
"Jake, it really was good seeing you again," I said, standing. He rose, too, and pulled me into a hug.
"It is good seeing you, too, Bells. I hope I see more of you," he whispered in my ear.
I'd forgotten how good it felt to be held in his massive arms. His energy was contagious and I could feel how much he still loved me. I didn't let the hug linger. The last thing I needed was for Edward to suspect that this was the man who'd broken my heart so many years ago.
So much had been healed in the last hour, and I didn't need to rock the boat on what was already good in my life.
But Jacob had me questioning whether it was as good as I thought.
Thoughts?
