A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter.
These are unbeta'd, so please forgive me.
I wished I could have relished having Bella in my arms again, but she was crying so hard, all I could think about was holding her until she got all those bad feelings out. I'd noticed her melancholy and her unshed tears, but it was never the right time to ask her about it.
I knew she wasn't just crying at the thought that Charlie wouldn't make it. She was feeling everything. I picked her up and sat us both down. Truth was, I was a little lightheaded from giving blood. Bella and I both shared our aversion to the smell of blood, and I'd never been good with needles. I had to sit down before I fell down.
I let her cry it out and gave her some tissues when she finished. There was an awkward moment when I thought she was going to get up, but then she snuggled right back into my chest so I lay us both back. I really needed to lay down before I fainted. But I didn't.
We lay there in silence and I felt her breathing deepen. Good. She needed to sleep. Before I knew what I was doing, I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. I'm not quite sure why I did it, it was a mixture of things, really. It was just so damn good to see her again…that was the most at peace I'd been in a decade. I knew it wouldn't last more than a few hours at most—she was a married woman—but I could enjoy it while it was here. So I did. I must have dozed off as well.
When I came to, it was to Bella shifting in my lap to look at her phone. She frowned and swiped the screen without answering it.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"I just don't want to talk to him right now," she replied and shut her phone off. "He promised, Jake. He promised he'd be here for me."
I didn't know what to say. This could go into some very dangerous territory and I didn't want to go there and lose everything I'd gotten back.
"Bells, as much as I'm enjoying you here, like this, right now, I don't think we should talk about your marital problems. This right here is pushing a boundary, but it's not breaking it. You need to be held, and I'm more than happy to do that, but I am not a good enough person to hear the negative things about your husband and be objective." Her chocolate brown eyes were sad, but I continued on. "And me agreeing with you would just take us some place where you'd end up resenting me for the mess it made. Do you understand what I am saying?" I asked.
A defensive look crossed her face, but I held her gaze. She understood what I was saying. She knew I still had feelings for her and she'd admitted that she never wanted to break up with me. Her eyes panned mine like they always did. The defensiveness dissolved into reluctant gratitude.
"Yes, I know what you're saying," she finally answered. "And you're right, I do need to be held. I'm so worried and so confused. And you've always known how to make me feel better. This isn't too hard for you, is it?" she asked waving her hand between the two of us.
"Nothing's hard yet," I smiled and waggled my eyebrows at her. We needed to lighten the mood and that did it. She smacked my chest with a small smile and lay back down against me.
"How are you just the same and so different all at once?" she asked, curiosity dripping from her question.
"How am I different?" I asked, just as curious.
"You're a bit of an enigma to me right now. No one will tell me what you've been up to for the past ten years. Will you tell me now?" she peeked up at me and I smiled back at her.
"I've kinda told them to not say anything while your husband is around," I admitted.
"Why?" Her arm wrapped around my waist again in a gentle hug.
"Well, I just like being underestimated. It has its advantages. I don't want Edward to see me as a competitor, because I'm not. And I want to be friends with you again. I've missed you. I know we can't be what we were before you went to college, but I miss what we were before you crashed that motorcycle." I ran my thumb over the scar above her left eye. We were just like this before I kissed her. That's what made it such an easy transition.
"I miss this, too," she said. "But why would Edward think you are a competitor. I haven't told him anything. He knows I had my heart broken, but I'm pretty sure he thinks it was Mike." That made me laugh and her little body bounced up and down with my silent chuckles.
"Why would he think you dated Mike Newton?" I asked in-between chuckles.
"I have no idea," she said, chuckling, too. Our chuckling died out and we were quiet for a few moments.
"Seriously, what have you been up to?" she asked, taking my hand and lacing her fingers through mine.
"Well, after high school, which I barely passed, I went to Port Angeles as you can guess by my stylish attire," I pulled our joined hands to my chest. "They gave me a football scholarship."
"I told you being late every day would cause you problems," she said, and I felt her smile on my pec.
"Well, like I told Edward yesterday, I got an associate's degree in business and I transferred to Rice University to finish up. Again, on a football scholarship." She looked up at my face disbelievingly, but kept her head on my chest.
"You graduated from Rice University? Wow, Jake! I always knew you had it in you! What was your degree in?"
"Business with a minor in History," I answered. "My adviser and my friend's dad told me that was the best if I wanted to get into law school." I waited for her reaction. She didn't disappoint. Her big brown eyes were astonished as she let go of my hand and pushed herself up on my chest. She was sitting up and looking at me head on.
"Where did you go to law school?" she asked. I loved that she didn't even question that I went. I'd made the statement and she readily believed it. Bella always had more faith in me than I had in myself. That's what made me push myself so hard all those years. She knew I could do it, so I had to prove it to myself. I felt a blush of pride rise up my neck.
"Harvard?" I answered her question, though it sounded like a question.
"Is that a question?" she asked with a smirk.
"No. Most people just wouldn't believe it. Some didn't until they saw my diploma or pictures of the graduation," I said. Which was true of my English teacher when I went back for career day a few years ago.
"You graduated from Harvard Law School," she stated as she lay back down against my chest. She was obviously contented there and I was happy to let her stay. "I knew it," she breathed out.
"You knew what?" I asked with another chuckle.
"That you did more than just run a local hotel," she said. "It just didn't add up." She nestled into me and I wrapped my arm around her waist.
We lay there and talked for what seemed to be hours. Well, that's because it was hours. I told her about autumns in New England and how beautiful it is, she told me about writing for the literary magazine and how she couldn't believe they paid her for her opinions about books she read. I told her about our casinos and Ruby in Tunica and she told me about her assistant, Jessica and their working lunches.
"Do you really own a jet?" she asked, looking up at me again. I resisted the urge to run my thumb across her cheek. I settled for tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"Well, the guys and I share it," I admitted. I didn't like to brag about that.
"Then how did the airline lose your luggage?" she asked. Damn, she remembered everything. Her nose must have itched because she wiped it quickly, back and forth across my pec.
"Well, Quil had flown Claire, his girlfriend out to meet him, and when I got the call about Charlie, I didn't want to wait around. So I flew commercial."
"Tell her about the helo pad in Billy's back yard," Charlie's voice rasped from across the room.
"Dad!" she cried, and she was gone before I knew what happened. It was only a matter of seconds and I already missed her presence.
"I see you're getting' answers to your questions, Bells," Charlie said.
"How are you feeling?" she asked him, ignoring his question.
"Oh, just groggy. I'm thirsty. Can you get the nurse to bring me some water?" he asked.
"I don't know if you can have any," she replied. "I'll go ask." He smiled at her and she left the room.
"Jake," he said, a tone of warning in his voice.
"I know, I know," I replied. "I'm not leading her on," I sighed.
"I'm more worried about you than her," he said. I couldn't see his face, but I could hear the concern in his voice. "You know she'll never leave him. It's not her way. She's too much like me."
"Charlie, it's just nice to talk to her again," I admitted. I knew he was right, that's why I shut down hearing why she was upset with him. I already knew he was a possessive douche-bag, I didn't need to hear how it affected her. I'd get way too angry.
"I know. Jus' don't get too cozy. Edward is jealous of her time with me. I can't even imagine how he'd feel if he knew about you…" he didn't finish because Bella was back with the nurse. The shift had changed this was Sue's friend who doted on Charlie.
"Chief Swan, all I can offer you is some ice chips. They don't want anything in your stomach in case you have a bad reaction to the anesthesia," the nurse explained.
"That's fine, Betty. I jus' need a little somethin' to wet my whistle," Charlie said.
"Good, good," she said. "Sweetie, you want to help him while I check his vitals?" She handed the little cup of ice chips to Bella.
"Yes," Bella answered. I watched as she spooned bits of ice into Charlie's mouth while Betty checked his pulse, blood pressure, the different beeping machines that surrounded him, and his temperature—in his ear, since he was eating ice.
I knew what Charlie was saying before Bella came back into the room. Those few hours we talked were amazing. It was two in the morning and I felt better than I had in all the years she was gone, but I felt her absence from my arms acutely. It'd taken me a long time to ever date anyone again. And even then, I'd never dated seriously. And hadn't I just decided to ask Maggie out? Well, that didn't even matter until Charlie was on the mend.
"Dr. Cullen said that if you woke up, I was to give you one more shot to make sure you slept most of the night. It's two o'clock now, so it looks like you'll need one more," Maggie read from the chart. She bustled over to the drawers and pulled out a syringe and back over to the tube that was inserted in Charlie's neck. She injected the liquid and I could see it affect Charlie immediately.
"Sure is good to see you kids together again," he said, and then he was out again.
"Are you two going to stay all night?" Betty asked. "You should probably go home and get some rest," she advised.
"I'm staying," Bella asserted. "Even if he's asleep," she looked at her father with so much love and regret it hurt my heart.
"I'll stay and keep you company," I said, looking at Bella and then to Betty. Betty smiled at us both.
"Such good kids to take care of the Chief. And it gives me some company on these lonely shifts, so suit yourself." And she left the room. Truth was, I couldn't have left her then even if I'd tried. I was on a Bella high.
There was an awkward silence. I missed her in my arms already. And I could tell she didn't really know what to do with herself.
"Hungry?" I asked, looking over at the tray of food she'd brought in.
"Yes!" she answered, grateful for some direction. She pulled the chair over from the side of Charlie's bed, much to my dissatisfaction, and tore into the veggie tray she'd bought. "Have the sandwich," she said through a mouthful of carrot.
"Thanks," I replied, grabbing it and taking a bite. "Chips?" I asked offering her the bag I'd opened. She took two or three while I took another bite of the sandwich.
"Soda is warm," she said with a smirk. She handed me a bottle and I unscrewed the cap.
"Best way to drink it," I quoted myself from years ago in my rundown garage.
"So," she said after taking a few more chips from the bag, "you really didn't know that Dr. Cullen is my father-in-law?"
"What?" I asked. The shock must have been evident on my face.
"I'll take that as a no," she said.
"I'm confused," I said. "Didn't you know he was your father-in-law?"
"No," she replied, swallowing the carrot in her mouth. "Edward doesn't talk about his father. I'd never met him and Ester told me this afternoon he was up here. It's such a wonderful coincidence. I really like him. But I don't know how to tell Edward I've met him." She sat back in her chair and picked up another carrot and munched on it. "He's bound to find out and if everything turns out well, I'll be grateful to him for the rest of my life."
I sat there and thought about what she said for a little bit. This Edward guy really was a piece of work. He leaves his wife alone to deal with the possible death of her father all by herself. That kind of possessiveness was a hallmark of infidelity. I'd seen that way too much when I interned in a law office. I'd wager he was cheating on her. And then there was the revelation that he was part of the company that was poking around our second beach properties.
"Jake, why would Edward put properties he's buying in my name?" she asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Well, there are a few reasons," I replied, but that was a red flag in my mind. "Depending on how you file your taxes, it's probably for tax breaks."
"It's not illegal, is it?" she asked, biting her lip. Fuck. I'd forgotten what that did to me. I was really glad she wasn't sitting on my lap at that moment.
"No. In fact it's quite common. Do you file joint taxes?" I asked.
"No. And I never legally changed my name," she replied thoughtfully. "You should have seen the fight that caused."
"Why didn't you change your name?" I asked, sitting back in the recliner again and sipping of the warm soda.
"Well, Charlie doesn't have any sons, and I didn't want his name to die out. Even though it will since Edward doesn't want any children." I let that statement go for now because she was still talking. "And I'd already submitted some manuscripts to some publishers and it's quite common for writers to keep their names in the literary world. His uncle Aro is the one who came to my defense by helping him see that this could be a good thing business wise. So Edward finally dropped it."
"Aro Volturi?" I asked. This was really coming together. "Is his father Marcus Volturi?" I asked.
"Yes," she said looking interested and sitting forward in her chair again. "How do you know that? Edward doesn't like him, either. But I haven't been able to get that reason out of him."
"Bella, this is bad," I said. "And I don't know whether or not to tell you, because this is putting you in the middle of something that will test your loyalties." She stopped and put the vegetables down.
"Tell me, Jake," her tone was so fierce, I paused.
"Bella, I don't want to be the reason…" I started but she cut me off.
"You aren't going to be the reason for anything. I'm so sick of people thinking I'm too frail or too stupid to know details. I graduated Magna cum laude at one of the largest schools on the west coast. I'm not a fucking idiot. I can make my own decisions and when I have I ever done anything rashly?" she said with a vehemence I hadn't seen in a long time.
"Ah, the time you got mad at me for saying you'd hurt yourself on a motorcycle and then you took it and rode it directly into a tree," I answered her question. Of course, that had turned out well in the end for me because that was the day I first kissed her.
She tried to hide her smile, but she couldn't. "That was almost fifteen years ago," she defended. "Please tell me. There are no motorcycles around here."
"Okay," I said, putting the empty soda bottle back on the table. She picked up the apple and took a bite, I think just to keep herself busy.
"Please know, that this came to my attention before I knew there was any connection to you. And I just discovered where Edward worked tonight at dinner." She nodded, but looked troubled. "Okay," I began and I told her about the cession of land Marcus Volturi had made to my grandfather with the weak contract because it was based more on establishing trust between the two opposing groups that the legal issues. I told her about the reports Quil and Jay Jenks had found and how we were worried that we might lose Second Beach to a developer because of those loopholes.
"That fucker," she whispered when I was finished.
"Who?" I asked, a little confused.
"Edward, that's who," she replied, and she took another bite of her apple and chewed it.
"Bella, I don't think you and I, that we, should be discussing this. It's a conflict of interest," I said. But I really, really wanted to.
"He told me that he wanted to see Forks through my eyes. So that he could learn to love it as much as I did. He told me he wanted to see the beaches of La Push because he'd heard me describe their 'majestic beauty'. Maybe I should tell him that's where I lost my virginity and see how he likes that," she whispered as if she didn't want Charlie to hear it. She tossed the half eaten apple in the garbage can that was half way across the room.
With her last comment a flood of memories inundated my mind. We'd hiked to third beach that day, which was both difficult and time consuming because of Bella's ability to trip over every single tree root on the rough path. When we'd finally made it there we ate lunch and our make-out session turned very heated and we'd made love twice on the beach that day. It was completely unplanned and the two weeks following were emotionally draining as we were both scared to death that she was pregnant. She went on the pill as soon as that little pee stick only showed a single line.
"Bella, let's not invoke his possessive side," I said tentatively and pushing those memories away, but she wasn't listening.
"Oh, I know exactly how to play this," she said, under her breath. She stood up and began pacing. "If he thinks I'm a submissive idiot," and she stopped and looked at me. "I get it."
"You get what?" I asked, a little nervous about what she was planning.
"I get why you like being underestimated. Most people only see what they want to see." She started pacing again. "I've been guilty of it myself. But I see it, now, and I can't un-see it. He thinks I can't understand the complexities of his business, but I had to research quite a bit for a novel I just recommended to be published. It was very similar to this. And the fucker can't be bothered enough to take an interest in what I do…" she trailed off.
I watched her as she paced and muttered to herself. Phrases like, "I'll bet it's her," and "he'll put that in my name, too" coming out. Something had awoken in Bella, and I think I might have been the one who roused it. But I didn't regret it. And it was just vital that we both kept our hands clean in all this.
"Bella?" I finally said, after watching her pace for a good five minutes. She stopped and looked at me.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yes," she said resolutely. "I'm better than I've been in years. And I'm pissed." Suddenly, she looked very tired. She walked back over to her chair and sat on the edge of it and then looked over at her father.
"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" I asked in that old way we started that day on the third beach after we'd both had our first orgasms with another human. She must have remembered, too, because she smiled in her nostalgic way.
"How when Charlie makes it through this, Edward isn't going to know what hit him," she said. "And I'm tired." Against my better judgement, I opened my arms again, offering her a place to sleep. I knew I shouldn't have, but I needed to feel her one last time pressed up against me.
She didn't hesitate. She stood up and then climbed into my lap and lay against my chest like all those times before.
"After tonight," she whispered, "we can't do this." I kissed her temple to let her know I understood. I felt her inhale deeply and exhale slowly like she was ending a long, hard yoga practice. Maybe she was.
Before too long we were both asleep.
Thoughts?
It's a sweet moment, but it's gonna get worse before it gets better, just so you know.
