Songs: The Kills - Damned If She Do; Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous - Good Charlotte
"When me and the Hellions posted up in Helios, we kinda adopted Butt Stallion as our unofficial mascot. Even though she was still stuck in that ''depressive stasis'' she's been in since died, we took care of her the best we could." Vaughn answered. I wasn't sure if I regretted asking about this pony we were supposed to rescue or not, because the whole story seemed somewhat bizarre. I mean, I remembered that Jack was on about some diamond pony at some point, but I honestly didn't think the pony actually existed. Or survived for that matter.
" people took her away as soon as they showed up! They must be planning to sell her. I mean, she's worth her weight in diamonds because she's... y'know, literally made of diamonds, bro." Vaughn continued.
"Okay, but why exactly do you want her back? I mean, you know she's just gonna get stolen again, right?" I asked while I was walking up to the Fast Travel station, hoping that nothing had happened to Tina. Or to Brick, but Brick was an adult and... well, Brick. Why he would take Tina with him was beyond me.
"It's not her fault that she's made of diamond! And she deserves better. Also, Buttstallion is just fabulous and everyone loves her." Vaughn answered.
"Alright, fair enough. I'm at the Fast Travel station, will be there in a sec." I said, as I put in the code to get to Helios.
"Brick, Tina, what the HELL were you thinking?" I heard Mordecai's voice over the ECHO. He was not happy about them taking off just like that.
"Oh, hey Mordy. Wasn't my idea, Tina just ran off, so I went with her. She's been real moody lately." Brick replied. I initiated the Fast Travel and didn't hear what Tina said just as I dematerialised. I got a feeling that it would be a pain to deal with Tina when she was moody and it happened a lot lately. I was starting to doubt myself for signing up for raising a teenager.
"You're never gonna stop me from going!" I heard Tina scream and then there were some metallic clinky noises, once I materialised again and got over the dizzy feeling. I checked my map and started making my way through the heaps of dead bodies we had left behind when we fought through Helios first. It was pretty creepy, to be honest.
"Uh oh." Brick stated matter-of-factly.
"Brick, what is she doing?" Mordecai asked.
"You're not gonna like it, Mordy."
"What. Is. She. Doing."
"She's climbing up some platform, so I can't get to her."
"What the hell, Brick? Stop her!"
"Too late."
I ran up to the elevator and pushed the button. It was an incredibly slow elevator which somehow felt even worse when no one was shooting at me.
"I CAN HEAR YOU, BOTH OF YOU, AND I'M RIGHT HERE!" Tina screamed.
"Hey! Tina, stop shouting like that! And get down from whatever you're on immediately. You're not going to get Buttstallion, end of discussion." Mordecai told her. I made my way out of the elevator and around several corners. This place was like a damn labyrinth and Brick and Tina were at the very end of it.
"I'm not coming down and I AM going. Stop being boring." Tina replied. Ouch. I ran around the corner and there they were. Tina was up on some kind of metal platform and Brick was standing down below it, looking up at her.
" ! Sit your little ass down. just tryin' to keep you safe."he said.
"Yeah, it's gonna be dangerous in there." Mordecai agreed.
"Shut up! You're not my real mom! 'Sides. Tina good. Tina can handle her own self just dandy-fine. Now I bid you SAYOUNARA!" Tina shouted and ran off into some room behind her. It was so dark, I could barely see the door even after Tina was gone.
"Tina! Wait! Stay with Brick!" Mordecai shouted, but it was way too late at that point. Tina was gone. Brick just sighed as I walked up to him.
"Hey, Slab. That coulda gone better. We're still sorta workin' out the kinks, y'know. Yeah. Anyway. LET'S GO SAVE THAT MAJESTIC BEAUTIFUL BUTT STALLION! HELL YEAH!" he said to me, when he saw me approaching.
"Yeah, let's go. Mordecai's gonna murder you, when you come back. Both of you. Thought you'd wanna know." I said.
"I'm not gonna... whatever. Nova, please make sure Tina stays safe, okay?" Mordecai replied.
"Wasn't planning on anything else, Mordy. We got this." I answered, even though I was sure that I didn't have this under control. At all.
"I think we should get to her, if we go down this way." Brick said and ran ahead, as I got my rifle ready. I followed him and we made it into a small hallway. There was a somewhat unnerving noise, strangely familiar.
"Aw, no, they're digistructing loaders!" Brick exclaimed and started punching away. I sighed and commended myself silently for bringing a corrosive rifle with me. That should be eating right through them. Thankfully there weren't too many, so Brick and I got rid of them relatively easily.
"Hey, Tina?" Mordecai asked over the ECHO. He sounded like he was trying to reason with her, but I felt like she wasn't willing to listen to anything at the moment.
"Whatchu want, homie? I'm busy tracking down the most prettiest creature to ever grace !" Tina replied.
"I asked Nova to keep an eye on you, okay?" he said calmly. I was preparing for the worst, but all Tina did was groan.
"I'm FINE! Leave me alone!" she screamed. Mordecai sighed.
"Yo, Nova. Go check in with Brick, I guess." he said.
"Got it. Just... chill. Tina's seen worse than Helios. Not saying she should be here, but chances are she'll be fine. I also got tons of health vials with me, in case she gets hurt. It's gonna be fine, okay?" I replied, hoping that would calm him down a little. I knew he felt super responsible for Tina, since Roland died.
"Glad you're here, Nova! There's enough punchin' to go around! Let's see if Butt Stallion's nearby. Been working on my horse calls, but so far no luck. Neigh! Butt Stallion! NEIGH! Damn horse." Brick said, as we ran into a few people from the New Pandoran Army. Damn, I thought we cleared them all out. Guess we missed a few of them. They came up so suddenly that we were right in the middle of them when they attacked. Looked like point blank sniping again and hoping the recoil wouldn't break my shoulder. I was pretty glad to have Brick with me, because close range was his thing.
"Oh my god, oh my god, ohhh emm geee! Guys-guys-guys! I found her! And she's even more majestical and beautiful and - it's BUTT STALLION! Come on, come on, come on! Get here!" Tina suddenly shouted excitedly.
"Good work, Tina! Now stay put until Brick and Nova get there." Mordecai told her. If only we knew where exactly Tina was...
"Stay put until the myeah myeah myeah!" Tina replied and we suddenly heard a deafening noise. Sounded like an explosion. Once it was over and we were fully aware of our surroundings again, we saw that Tina had blasted a hole in the wall. Without warning us. What the hell.
"Boom-shaka-laka!" she shouted. I sighed. I thought I had taught her better than to set off explosions without warning the people you didn't want to die.
"You heard the lady! Let's move!" Brick said and run ahead to get to Tina. I sighed again and crawled through the hole Tina had blasted in the wall, hoping she didn't have any surprise explosives planted. And there she was. Tina, in one piece and unharmed. At least she seemed to be unharmed.
"Yes! Brick-poppa and auntie Nova! Let's save our best GIRL!" she exclaimed when she saw us.
"Tina, I'm gonna have to talk to-" I started, trying to give her a small lecture about that bomb stunt back there, but she chose to ignore me. Oh well.
"Never leave home without a bomb, tomodachi. Now STAND BACK! Then shoot the bomb. It's a-go boomity-boom." Tina said and ran back behind us. I raised an eyebrow and looked at the bomb she placed on the door.
"Are you sure about this, Tina?" I asked, but Brick just shook his head.
"Just shoot the thing. She won't listen otherwise." he told me quietly. I nodded and aimed at the bomb. Taking a deep breath I pulled the trigger and a small explosion followed. Huh. Seemed like Tina hadn't completely lost her mind. The glass door shattered and Tina ran ahead inside the room.
"Yes, yes, YES! BUTT STALLION! YOUR MAGNIFICENT MAJESTY!" she screamed as she climbed on top of what looked like the statue of a massive horse. Made of diamonds. I kinda thought this whole thing was a joke, but seeing the diamond pony with my own eyes... damn.
"Butt Stallion proximity sensor violation. Commencing Silver Steed Defense Protocol." a robotic voice suddenly said out of nowhere. Of course. Out of anything that could still be working on this wreck, the Buttstallion defense protocol was absolutely functional. I looked at Brick and he just shrugged.
"Cover me! Through the power of love, I shall reawaken the beast! Just call me The Butt Whisperer!" Tina shouted.
"What is going on? Did I just hear something about a defense protocol?" Mordecai asked. Oh dear.
"Nope. All is good. Just pretend you never hear anything."
"What's happening?"
"You don't wanna know."
"Let's give her some cover!" Brick shouted. I just hoped Mordecai didn't hear that or he would start freaking out. There was no time to explain much more, because I could hear the footsteps of Loaderbots coming closer. Thankfully, it didn't seem like there were a lot of them around.
I leaned back against the pedestal that Buttstallion was standing on and started sniping the bots that came along the hallway. It was fairly easy to get to them until I had to reload which took a good bit of time and made one of them come uncomfortably close. It didn't take long until we got rid of them, though. Thankfully.
"Yaaas, queen! I knew you'd come around." Tina shouted, just after Buttstallion started moving and neighing. I had no idea how she did it, but she got the pony out of her depressive state. Tina climbed down from the pedestal and looked at us proudly, as if she wasn't in a ton of trouble.
"Isn't she just the most beautifulest thing you ever saw?! I just want to squeeze her so hard she BLOWS UP!" Tina said as we approached her. Buttstallion neighed as if she was protesting.
"No-no-no-no-no, sweetie girl. Not for realsies. You good! You real, real good. Yes you is." she told Buttstallion.
"Good work, slab!" Brick replied with a big grin on his face.
"I'm glad we could help." Mordecai echoed, but was interrupted pretty soon.
"SHUT UP, MORDI-MOM!"
"Tina, what the hell?!"
"Hey! Don't talk to your mother like that." Brick scolded Tina and I couldn't help myself but burst out laughing.
"You're not helping!" Mordecai complained.
"That's it! Everyone get out of my room!" Tina shouted.
"That ISN'T your room!"
"I said OUT!"
"Vale. Vale. Tranquilo por favor. Jeez! You heard her, guys."
"Yeah, I'm gonna head out and tell Vaughn the good news. And I better get ready to give Tina a talk about the way she handles explosives." I said to Brick. He nodded and raised an eyebrow at Tina who was busy talking to Buttstallion.
"I'll wait a few rooms back there, so I can bring Tina out safely. Also... you didn't forget the plan, did you?" Brick asked me.
"Of course not. I'll get back, see if I can get Mordy to calm down a little and then I'll round up some people for it. I figured if we split up we can get everything together much easier and faster." I replied. Brick gave me a grin and a thumbs up.
"Perfect."
