At dawn the next day, Roshi wakes up his housemates to begin training. Other than blonde Launch going on a shooting spree with her new friends, everyone woke up relatively well despite it being so early. Goku is excited, Krillin is smug, and Gine is giddy as Roshi explains, "Today, we embark on our study of the martial arts together. Before we begin, there's something very important to be understood. We do not learn martial arts to pick fights or to impress girls who will say,"
He makes himself start drooling and lowers his sunglasses to show his eyes, "'Oh Beefcake I want you,'" He says in a higher pitch voice before blowing a kiss to the corner, "Do you understand? We are practicing the art of peace alongside the art of war. For it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. But that doesn't mean you don't fight. No, if evil commits injustice, it is your duty to defend peace."
Goku raises his hand, "Can you repeat all that?" Everyone mumbles, "Oh, brother." Roshi shortens, "We learn to fight so we don't have to. Now let's begin with a simple jog. Follow me." They jog from the Kame House to the nearby village. They run up to one of the domed homes with the word milk on the side. At the side of the house, a goat is tending to racks of milk next to a helicopter.
Roshi motions for his students to stop and approaches the goat, "Good morning. I'm Master Roshi, I believe we spoke on the phone yesterday." The goat baas, "Of course, I recognize your voice from the phone." He gives to Roshi a map of the island and explains, "This is the delivery route I usually take." Roshi nods, "Alright, I think I've got it." Krillin blurts out, "That's a lot of milk." Goku chuckles, "I hope it's for us, 'cuz I'm thirsty!"
Roshi speaks to the students, "Ready? There's three crates of milk for each of you to take across the countryside." Krillin freaks out, "We're delivering milk!?" Gine shrugs, "Eh, I've done worse." The goat asks, "So you guys are going on foot? You don't want to use the helicopter?" Roshi tells him, "Flying and comfort isn't training." The goat pleads, "But every bottle has to be delivered by breakfast!"
Roshi assures, "Don't worry, they'll be moving like lightning!" Krillin asks, "But master, how is milk delivery training?" Roshi chuckles, "Just wait and see…" Gine adds, "Is it me or did that not answer questions?" Roshi looks at the map, "Let's take it easy and skip to the three miles to the first house." Krillin turns blue, "Three miles…?" Goku asks, "Skip?" And like that, the four skip to the first house as Roshi calls out, "Skip, two, three, four. Skip, two, three, four."
Eventually, Krillin asks, "How much further, master?" Roshi answers, "Just two and a half miles, Krillin." Eventually, they make it to the first house and replace the bottle of milk at the mailbox, and then the second house's milk is replaced. Roshi congratulates, "Good, we're off to a good start. Now for the next two miles we zig zag between trees from here to the next house." And they do just that, they ran back and forth between trees for two miles, Goku and Gine were having fun, but Krillin was going insane with the stress.
He tries to cheat, but is quickly caught by Roshi. When they get to the next house, Roshi tells them, "Alright, we'll take a break from running. Now let's climb some steps." And Roshi starts walking up some steps...On the side of a mountain that goes all the way to the top. As they climb, the students whine. Krillin whines, "Why did I laugh when my friends say the training would be tough?"
Gine whines, "Why couldn't I have retired from fighting and stayed at Kame House with Launch?" Goku whines, "Why can't I drink any milk?" As they climb, Roshi's already way ahead of them, smoking on a pipe as he waits for them. Goku and Gine slowly reach him, already out of breath. Roshi chuckles, "Well, even the daughter and grandson of Gohan has their limit. Did you know Gohan and Ox trained like this? They would skip to houses, zig zag between trees, and climb these very steps? Not once did they complain."
This makes the two beam with happiness. Goku challenges, "I'll meet you at the top master!" Gine adds, "But you have to beat me, Goku!" Roshi smirks, "Worked like a charm." Krillin arrives next, sweating bullets. Roshi says, "Good job. You're halfway there." Krillin turns white as a ghost and keeps going. The three make it to the top and deliver the milk before breakfast.
The monk that lives at the top of the mountain greets them, "Thank you for the delivery. Would any of you like to have a cup of milk?" Goku raises his hand in excitement. Roshi uses his staff as a hammer to Goku's head and tells him, "You don't give then take, ya mooch." The monk laughs at this display. He speaks, "Master Roshi. It's been ages since you've delivered milk with students." Roshi responds, "Yes it has. It's good to see you again."
The monk states, "Always nice to meet with old friends. How is the training of these three?" Roshi answers, "It's a little early to say. But they do show great promise." The three celebrate by holding hands and dance around like ring around the rosey. Roshi continues, "If they get themselves in gear, then they might be able to enter the World Martial Arts Tournament, the Tenkaichi Budokai." The monk gasps, "Oh, that's only eight months away."
Krillin blurts out, "The Tenkaichi Budokai!? The World Martial Arts Tournament!?" Gine states, "I've never heard of that." Krillin answers, "It's where all the greatest fighters converge to fight in a great tournament to see who is the strongest. And they only hold this tournament once every five years! Only eight finalists are to be the main spectacle among the world to see. But hundreds of people show up at the end of those five years to see if they can avoid elimination."
Roshi adds, "But you three will enter, but only if you train diligently." The four make their way home by balancing themselves on logs precariously over rapid ravines, and then through a desert, and through the edge of a waterfall, and also run away from a dinosaur. They finally return home with all of Roshi's students passed out on the floor, panting for air. Roshi tells them, "Good job. You will deliver milk like this every day for the next eight months. That is the early morning training. Now let's start the mid morning training."
Now their eyes are wide with fear. Roshi tells them, "Now we'll try our hands at agriculture, for this fine fellow!" Immediately, a farmer approaches as Goku tries to say agriculture. Krillin grumbles, "First delivery men, and now farmers. I never did this at Orin Temple." The three grab shovels, hoes, and picks and prepare to start, only for Roshi to pipe up, "Hold on, there! Don't use the tools! This exercise is for the strength and dexterity of your hands. So of course it won't work unless it's done bare handed."
At this, Gine drops her shovel on her foot, causing her to jump around in pain on one foot. After she recovers, all three start digging into the dirt with their hands. And their speed was surprisingly quick, going half a mile in so little time. It's like they're swimming through Earth. After a few hours, the dirt covered and sore trio approach Roshi with the finished job. Goku croaks, "Master Roshi...We finished it…"
Roshi looks behind them and sees as far as the eye can see that they have. Not a single blade of grass is visible. Roshi tells them, "Excellent work. But you need to learn to move faster. You will till more land each day. Now it's time for breakfast." Launch finishes creating a buffet breakfast as Roshi and his students return, where they pick up the pace to the smell of good grub. During the feast, Krillin had the foolish idea to put enough pepper into his bowl of rice that it causes Launch to sneeze.
Breakfast was ruined by a machine gun toting madwoman. Everyone being shot at had to flee from the house and instead went to a restaurant in the nearby village. The entire village is watching the students clear bowl after bowl of food and asking for more. After breakfast, Roshi gives his students notebooks, spirals, and pencils as he sets up a chalkboard. Roshi explains, "From after breakfast to before lunch, we'll will be studying the basics. A strong body is pointless without a strong mind to back it up."
After what feels like to Goku, an eternity, they return to Kame House, where Launch has finally returned to normal. After lunch (And worrying about Launch sneezing again), the master and students just rest in hammocks. Roshi explains, "We'll spend this hour napping. Work hard, study well, eat and sleep plenty is the Turtle Hermit Way. You see, this tournament is a magnet for the strongest fighters, but even they know when to get some shut-eye."
After the nap, Roshi takes the students to a construction zone, stating, "Mid-afternoon training. Construction work improves balance and muscle size. And also earn some extra dollars." One of the workers asks, "You sure these kids and their sister can do this work? None of us want lawsuits over minors working with a pickaxe." Roshi assures, "Don't worry. You'll want to pay them five times the average wage."
The worker shouts, "Five times!? You must think I'm a fool!" Roshi tells him, "Watch them work, with no power tools." Goku is happy that his finger's won't break off at the end of all this. The three start digging up dirt into wheelbarrows and moving those wheelbarrows for empty ones was done at a quick pace. The worker states, "Alright! I'll pay whatever you want!" After finishing construction, Roshi takes the three to a lake, where he tells them, "Let's start swimming."
Goku demands, "Master! When will we learn fighting moves!" Roshi warns, "Don't get snippy! There Are certain factors to be improved on before learning techniques. I will tell you the secret AFTER you three each push that boulder over there that's bigger than me!" He points with his cane to said boulder. He goes up to said rock and pushes it with ease, while grunting, "To prove a point!"
Goku goes to a similar rock and pushes it further than Roshi. Roshi recovers, "Did I say this rock? I meant THAT ROCK!" He points to a castle as tall as a three story building. Roshi moves it a few inches, while Goku is unable to at all. When everyone's down to their underwears, Roshi states, "Now swim ten laps from here to the other side." When they dive in, Roshi adds, "And avoid the Sharks!"
They stop swimming and see triangular fins in the water all of a sudden. They put the peddle to the metal. The three rush out of the lake...To be greeted by man-eating dinosaurs. Needless to say, they have to keep swimming. After finishing the laps (Somehow), Roshi ties the three to a tree. He explains, "This exercise is to test reflex and dodging speed." Goku asks, "What are we dodging?"
And Roshi knocks a beehive and runs behind a bush, making the students fend for themselves. As they're being stung to within an inch of life, Roshi promises, "Don't worry! After this we'll get honey on where you've been stung! It'll make the pain a lot easier!" After that, the students looked like they had some messed up skin condition before the healing could begin. Roshi tells them, "Congratulations, with the sun resting you've completed your first day of training!"
Krillin asks, "Master...Please say our first day of training won't be this hard?" Roshi assures, "Of course not Krillin...It's going to be harder." He picks up a duplicate of his turtle shell, and adds, "Because you will have 50 pound turtle shells strapped to your back every day." Krillin, Gine, and Goku fall to the ground like dominos. The next morning, before the dew has even lifted, the students are running around the trees wearing the turtle shells.
With each day, they have to run a longer route to deliver milk, with longer walks and taller mountains. Days became months as they came accustomed to the turtle shells, allowing them to outswim the sharks when given more laps. Eventually, the eight months before the tournament becomes one month when Goku rushes to Kame House, hollering, "Master Roshi! We have an emergency!"
Goku drags Roshi along to the giant rock he pointed out before. Krillin states, "You said if we moved it you'd teach us fighting!" And Goku, then Krillin, then Gine move the rock. Goku hollers, "Woo! We get to learn fighting moves!" Roshi thinks to himself, 'That rock thing was a joke to keep them working. Next time I'll point at a mountain.' The three stare at Roshi with wide eyed glee as Roshi admits, "Well, honestly I have nothing left to teach you about martial arts."
With shocked faces plastered across the three students, he explains, "The whole point of martial arts behind the Turtle Hermit Fighting Style is the training schedule that you've done every day. Repeating these movements increases speed, dexterity, strength, and intelligence past their original limits. That is the art of Martial Arts." Gine asks, "But won't we be defenseless if we don't fight? How will we win?"
Roshi answers, "You didn't come here to win. You came to learn. Plus, you each already know how to fight. Gohan trained Gine and Goku, and the Orin temple trained Krillin. If you want special moves, you need to earn the fighting experience. We'll keep training the same," This terrifies the three, "But now with turtle shells that are twice the weight!" Again the three fall like dominos, later that night they struggle through the construction sight.
Krillin asks, "Any chance we won't get creamed." Gine exhales, "I know I will. I was always the weak one." Goku perks her up by stating, "You're not weak, mom. You're the strongest person I know. You just gotta think like it's another day of construction!" This allows Gine to train with vigor alongside her son and his new friend until the month winds down to just one day before the tournament.
Roshi is in a black suit with a fedora standing by a car, as he tells the students, "It is time to take off the shells. Goku starts jumping, Krillin starts moving his limbs, and Gine starts doing push ups. Goku blurts out, "It's like we're paper!" Roshi suggests, "Let's see how high you can jump." The three take off like rockets into the sky, while Gine screams, "We're leaves in the wind!" When they land, blue haired Launch gives to them boxes, "Here are some gifts you'll need for the trip."
Gine, Goku, and Krillin pull out of the Boxes matching blue suits and fedoras, tailored to their size. Roshi hollers, "Let's get this baby moving or we'll miss our plane!" Roshi and his students drive off while Launch stays to keep Kame House in good shape. On the flight to the tournament, Goku is staring out the window in amazement, Krillin and Gine are reading the newspaper, and Roshi is being backhanded by offended flight attendants.
At night, almost all of the passengers are asleep, until Roshi nudges Krillin, "Krillin, wake up. We've arrived." Krillin snaps awake as he quickly wakes up Gine and Goku. Outside the airport, a taxi is hailed and they are whisked away to the Tenkaichi Budokai. The Turtle School stroll into the massive arena as they approach the sign in sheet. The attendant in charge is confused, "I understand the woman, she looks age appropriate. But are you sure these two kids can fight?"
While Roshi argues with the attendant, Goku and Gine hears, "Goku! Gine!" They look over and find Yamcha, who has now cut his hair of it's long mane. Gine stares at him for a second before she blurts out, "Yamcha? Is that you? You cut your hair!" Krillin asks, "Who's this guy?" Goku explains, "This is Yamcha. We're friends. Yamcha, this is Krillin, he's a new friend." Roshi approaches, "Congrats, you three, you're in the tournament."
He looks over, "Oh look, it's your blue haired friend." Goku and Gine look and see Bulma as well, alongside Oolong and Puar. Roshi hollers, "Heeelllloooo~!" She barks at him, "Thanks for leaving a foreclosure sign! I went to visit the island and there was nobody there!" He explains, "That pads for lovin', not fightin'." At this, he's slapped by her. Gine thinks to herself, 'Why hasn't he tried that crap with me yet?'
Yamcha stretches in a yawn, "I can't wait until the fights tomorrow." Goku asks, "It's not tonight? What do we do till then?" The gang decides to rent out a couple beds at a hotel and crash there for the night. Goku, Krillin, and Roshi sprawl out on one bed, while Gine and Bulma are dangling on the edge of their bed, and Yamcha left to the last bed while Oolong and Puar take the couch. The next morning is a festivity at the arena.
Before Goku, Krillin, and Gine enter the arena, Roshi stops them, "Just a second...I have a gift for all three of you." With that, he gives to them orange gi with the Z shaped turtle symbol on the back. They try on the suits, with Goku and Krillin excited, while Gine asks, "I dunno, are you sure the V-Neck isn't too...Revealing?" Roshi chuckles, "I don't see anything wrong." With that Gine slaps him into a wall, thinking to herself, 'There it is.'
When they enter to fight, a commentator calls out, "Thank you all for coming. If all 138 of you didn't come, there wouldn't be much of a show. However, only eight of you will get a chance to fight in the tournament itself. So this is a preliminary round, with tournaments of four to decide those eight from the top two. It will be single elimination with the winner decided if somebody falls out of the arena, or the time of 60 seconds is up. Knockouts only, no killing or weapons no matter what."
The commentator points to a monk with a box, "Individuals like this man will have a box with him, which will have a drawing to find out who will be fighting who. Krillin grabs one of the papers, reading aloud, "93." Goku reads off, "Seven and Zero." Yamcha points out, "You're both in Block Three, but if I'm looking correctly, you won't be fighting each other. I'm 35, so I won't see any of you guys either."
Gine shrugs, "I got 34, but I'm in the First Block and He's in the Second. We won't fight each other!" Yamcha waves at them, "I'm heading to Block 2 now...I'll see you guys soon!" Gine hugs her son, "I'm gonna head for Block 1 as well. Good luck, Goku." When they leave Krillin whimpers, "We're in trouble! These guys know how to fight while we know how to push dirt around!" Eventually, a referee calls out, "Numbers 69 and 70! Please step forward!"
Goku rushes towards the arena to prepare for his fight...Against a muscle bound wrestler ten times his size. He questions, "What is this? A Joke!?" When the referee calls out, "Begin!" Goku runs under the giant's legs, causing the giant to wonder where he went. Goku just taps the man on the back of his knee and he falls out of bounds. When Goku exits the ring, he admits, "Krillin, we shouldn't use our full strength right away. It could be bad."
Suddenly, a voice asks, "What do we have here?" Krillin turns around pale in the face to a short and stout monk accompanied by a tall and lanky monk, both with a smug look about them. The short one declares, "If it isn't our favorite punching bag!" The tall one boasts, "I haven't seen you since you ran crying out of the Orin Temple. Surely you're not fighting here are you?" At this question, he taps on the top of Krillin's head.
He points out, "But I'm glad that he's number 93! I'll be his only opponent!" The two leave in a cackle. Goku asks, "Why do you let them treat you like that?" Krillin blurts out, "Because I am their favorite punching bag! I should drop out…" Goku tells him, "No you won't! You were trained in the Turtle Hermit Ways! You are stronger than them now! Show to them, and only them, what you are made of!"
When the two enter the match, the tall monk chuckles, "Well look! You didn't chicken out! It's not a healthy move but at least you're less of a coward!" The referee calls for the start, which makes the monk sneer, "Which bone should I break, first?" He throws a punch...Only Krillin isn't there anymore. Krillin had jumped above the man, and the second he makes contact with the ground, he jump kicks the monk...Into the brick wall.
Goku explains, "See. Delivering milk and working with our hands is good work." Yamcha fights afterwards, against a seven feet tall man with a mohawk. The giant chuckles, "I'll give ya a freebie." Yamcha sends a kick to the man's face that knocks him out. Gine fights next, against a woman with purple hair. She winks at Gine, who shrugs, and simply punches her out of bounds. The woman cries a river as all the men started helping her up.
The rest of the tournament is a breeze for the fighters, other than a few fakeouts, they manage to win with Total Knockouts. Among the final eight are Krillin, Yamcha, Gine, Goku, a dragon, a desert monk, an old man with a white head of hair, and the most foul smelling man on the planet. A blonde haired announcer states, "Alright, ladies and gentlemen, before the matches begin you will start by drawing numbers to decide who will fight who. And I don't take requests so nobody say they don't want to fight Bacterian." He points to the foul smelling man.
He calls up first, "Nam." The desert monk steps up first, who pulls out a card with the number Five. He calls up next, "Monster Beast Giran." The dragon monster steps up next, and he pulls out the number Eight. He calls up Bacterian, who pulls out number One. He calls on Yamcha next, who selects the number Four. He calls on Krillin, who squeals in terror at getting the number Two. The announcer pauses, "Go-kau?" Gine corrects him, "Um, sir. I think you mean to say Goku."
The announcer apologizes, "Oh, my. I'm so sorry about that, ma'am. You may draw when ready." Gine corrects again, "Oh, no. I'm not Goku. I'm Gine, next on the list. Goku's my son." Everyone looks at the boy and the woman in confusion as Goku draws the number Seven, until the announcer blurts out, "Wow, you look young enough to be his sister." Gine shrugs, "It's a family thing."
The announcer states, "You're next, ma'am." She makes a draw and finds the number six. And finally, The announcer questions, "Jackie Chun?" The old man is given the number Three by default. The announcer explains, "It will be single elimination matches, you lose if you fall outside, pass out for ten counts, or surrender. No poking in the eyes, hitting in male or female privates, and the previous rules of no weapons or killing is also apart of the rules."
Afterwards, the announcer is at the stadium and booms in the microphone, "Alright! Ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for the World Martial Arts Tournament!? The matchup will be Krillin vs Bacterian! Yamcha vs Jackie Chun! Nam vs Son Gine! And Son Goku vs Giran! Now we will begin with Krillin and Bacterian!" When the match begins, Krillin gets into stance but Bacterian's presence is so offensive that Krillin is on the verge of collapsing.
Bacterian throws a punch that Krillin dodges. Bacterian responds with a heavy fog of bad breath, making Krillin collapse and on the verge of vomiting. While Krillin is down, Bacterian...reaches into the underwear that is his only article of clothing and touches Krillin with his finger.
After everyone except for Krillin has bought a gas mask for this fight Krillin falls down as the announcer begins the countdown. Krillin recovers in time, but Bacterian proceeds to manhandle the boy. Krillin holds his breath and kicks the savage in the chin. Bacterian looms over Krillin as he's close to the edge, but Krillin sees the opening between the giant's legs and makes a run for it...Only for Bacterian to sit on him.
Krillin struggles to get the maniac off of him, but Bacterian farts in his face. After Krillin's left as a husk with a twitch, Bacterian proceeds to kick the boy over and over. While the referee, Goku has an epiphany, "Krillin! Will you get up already! You don't even have a nose!" Krillin recovers all of a sudden. Bacterian bellows, "No more playtime!" And he starts spitting loogies at Krillin. Krillin dodges and kicks Bacterian in the face.
Once he falls, Krillin goes up to Bacterian's face and farts, screaming, "NOW HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!?" Bacterian passes out after this, and Goku, Yamcha, and Gine go to Krillin to congratulate him. While the audience cheers, the monks running the tournament scrapes up whatever Bacterian left in the arena and used every air freshener known to mankind to cover up the stench.
Author's Note: Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb and admit that I might omit writing the entire Red Ribbon Army Saga. I never liked writing it for my fanfiction Berserker or Hero, and more than likely never will. So...What do you guys think?
The part about putting honey on a bee sting is real. I did that and it shrunk the sting down to a tiny freckle like spot that faded away after a while, with almost no pain after that.
The quote, "Leaf In The Wind" was used because I FINALLY watched the TV show Firefly...And holy crap is it awesome!
Here's the tournament: Krillin vs. Bacterian, Yamcha vs. Jackie Chun, Nam vs. Gine, and Goku vs. Giran.
So I just tried to do a DocX with this story with Boggie445 to see if I needed to do any changes or just grammar check it, and the DocX told me that his account didn't exist. What's up with that?
