A.N. So, another week of highs and lows. I'm sorry this is getting out so late, but better late than never right? I hope this story is still worth all of your time and I hope you are enjoying this.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Vision of Escaflowne or any of the characters therein. This is purely fanmade.
XX
"If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it."
-Toni Morrison
XX
Chapter 11: Surrender
XX
Twenty-fifth Day of the Seventh Month
Final Year of Lotica
XX
The distant roll of thunder shook the air and echoed through the newly repaired walls and drowned out the soft words of those residing within the castle. Van sighed, he himself had recommended that any who did not have sturdy walls and water proof roofs to make use of the castle when he saw the darker clouds rolling in.
It was the flood season after all, and with the devastation that Fanelia had suffered over the last six months, there was no way the rains wouldn't cause further disastrous results. The fields couldn't be saved right now, and due to Fanelia's primary city being built up the side of the mountain flooding inside the walls was uncommon, but there were still too few places that would remain dry and warm.
He had made the right choice to bring them inside the parts of the castle that were safe, however he had just asked Hitomi to come to him tonight and he had been hopeful…
Van shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He was being unreasonable. He'd been unreasonable when he'd made the request in the first place. They hadn't done anything but share a sleeping space since that first time due to the fact that they had left Asturia for Fanelia soon after that first night and Hitomi had started her monthly bleeding which he had honestly been uncertain and uncomfortable with. He'd never been around a woman during that time, at least, he hadn't known about it if Merle had experienced it, and he had no idea what was or was not normal or expected of him.
Hitomi had made it clear that her bleeding time had ended, but Van didn't know what that meant in all honesty. Did she need more time to recover from that? Was his wanting to be physical with her asking too much of her? He just didn't know. He had been waiting for Hitomi to make the next move, but then he saw her at the orphanage.
She was speaking with Shana and asking questions about how it functioned. When she learned that the orphanage was overseen by the royal family, her expression had changed, she had looked surprised and then she started asking more about how it all worked. She was actively trying to learn about Fanelia.
He had been so moved he had very nearly lost all sense and kissed her right there in front of everyone. She had said she would return, but seeing her efforts to prepare for that return had left him reeling. It gave him hope like nothing else could. It made him more confident that Hitomi had wanted him, not just for that one night, but wanted him as he wanted her.
Thunder rumbled and a flash of lightening lit the night sky. Illuminating everything in a stark white that made the simple candle light seem inefficient as it faded away. As though heralding in the rain, the water droplets began to fall and added to the cacophony of sound.
The storm will hide almost anything.
Van flushed at his own thoughts and sighed. There was no guarantee that Hitomi would actually come for that. Sure, he could be almost certain she would come to lay beside him through the night, that had become almost as natural as breathing. However, they never spoke of that, never made promises about sharing that sleeping space. His action of pointing out tonight should have been clear.
He wanted to make love to her again.
The door to his room opened nearly silently, he only heard it because he was waiting for it. He turned, and in the candle light, saw Hitomi, dressed in her running shorts and white shirt that she usually wore to sleep in and her socks. She closed the door and looked at him, her cheeks flushed sweetly. She nervously tucked her hair back behind her ear, though the short strands immediately fell forward again.
"Merle just would not fall asleep." Hitomi said with a smile, her voice hushed despite the storm. "She just kept rambling on and on about the harvest and trade caravans—"
"Why is she talking about that?" His voice was a little sharp, but he couldn't take it back, and his heart was once more beating terribly fast with emotion.
"Oh. Uhm… I asked her to tell me anything she could about such things." Hitomi laughed a little self-consciously. "… I just didn't think she'd do it now when I had plans—" Hitomi cut off on a squeak as Van crossed the room and pulled her sharply into his arms, squeezing her tightly.
She was slow to return the hold, but her arms looped around his waist and she leaned her head against his chest. Her hands smoothed over his back in a caress that left his skin tingling.
"Van?"
"… you want to know more?"
"Hm? About Fanelia?" Hitomi asked, trying to push back from the embrace. Van fought it a moment, but eventually allowed her to put space between them.
"Yes."
"I do… I just…" Hitomi had a complex expression on her face and Van felt a moment of worry as his heart sank. Had he misunderstood somehow? "… do we have to talk about it now?"
"You don't want to?"
"Yes! I mean… no—argh!" Hitomi let out a frustrated sound her hands coming to cover her face. "… I thought you wanted to…"
"Wanted to wha—" Van broke off, eyes widening as he caught up to what Hitomi was trying not to say.
Oh.
He felt his face heat up and couldn't quite meet her eyes when she peered at him through her fingers.
"I didn't—no, I mean, I wasn't trying to push you."
Hitomi was looking at him and he couldn't read her expression. Van fisted his hand at his side and tried not to get frustrated by the whole situation. Why was he fighting this? She was implying that she didn't want to talk about Fanelia right now because she thought they were going to be doing other things, right? That meant she was looking forward to those things, right? Or was she conflicted because she wanted to talk about Fanelia but felt obligated to mention the other plans?
Internally, he groaned, wondering if he was overthinking things. Thankfully, Hitomi didn't seem to have the same problems. She stepped into his space and wrapped her arms back around him, this time leaning in to kiss him. Her lips were warm and soft; comforting and Van happily pressed into them, his arms securing around her, tangling in her hair and urging the kiss deeper, pressing his tongue into her mouth to explore.
Her hands ran up and down his back, as their lips parted and met again, their breaths, and the sounds their lips made was drowned out by the storm outside. She used her body to press him backward until they stood next to the bed that had been hastily set up in the room. It wasn't as luxurious as those in Asturia, but it was a far cry better than the sleep rolls they had camped on when leaving Zaibach.
Van felt his stomach tighten when his leg bumped against the bed, and his hands dropped to grip Hitomi's shoulders as her exploring hands ventured up and under his shirt to graze the skin on his stomach. His grip stilled both her hands and her kiss and pulled a remorseful groan from his lips as they parted. He really didn't want to stop, but he had to be certain this was something they both wanted at this moment.
"Hitomi…"
"Do you not want to?" Her question was like a punch to his solar plexus. Her expression was one of disappointment and mild hurt which came through clearly in her tone despite the roll of thunder. Van felt his jaw drop in shock and he stared at Hitomi like an idiot for several long moments as his brain caught up to what his ears were hearing.
Lightening lit the room again, bringing a sharp brightness, and in that light, Van managed to close his mouth, tighten his hold, turn and push Hitomi back onto the mattress of the bed. She let out a soft sound as she fell, but her lips were smiling when he crawled over top of her, pinning her under him.
He was a bit irritated at himself for hesitating and overthinking, and a little annoyed at the overly pleased look on Hitomi's face, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, as he leaned close, until all he could clearly see were her green eyes.
"I always want to, Hitomi." His confession made her shiver, but he was fairly certain it was the good kind if the way she curled her leg around his own was any indication.
"Then why haven't… why didn't you…" Hitomi licked her lips, finding it hard to place the right words to ask him why he hadn't done this sooner. Van felt flustered and a little insulted by the question. It felt like an unintentional dig at his masculinity and he frowned, tightening his hold on her hands, interlacing their fingers and leaning in to kiss her again.
She moaned into his kiss, pushing against him, her legs, wantonly wrapping around him and drawing him against her in the most intimate of ways. He seriously wondered how the hell she was so good at destroying his thoughts with a few simple words and actions. First she made him angry and then she made him nearly insane with lust.
For a while there was nothing but the friction between them, the roll of thunder, the song of the rain and the sound of their lips and gasped breaths. When he was certain he was over his momentary affront, he released her lips to answer her quite insulting question. He whispered into her ear, nipping at the shell with his teeth and enjoying the way she shuddered and pressed closer to him.
"I was trying not to be unreasonable."
"!" Hitomi's breath hitched in that way that he thought meant she really liked what he had just said or did for some reason, and then she was pressing her cheek into his, her lips kissing his neck and shoulder. Her lips parted to nip and suck on his skin and he groaned, grinding against her just about ready to rip their clothes from their bodies and just throw caution and sense out the window, when she turned to whisper back to him; her hot breath tickling his ear as she ran her toes up the back of his calf.
"… I like when you are unreasonable."
Van's restraint snapped like a twig at those words and he shot up all but ripping his shirt from his body, before reaching down to divest Hitomi of her own shirt. She was grinning up at him happily as he threw her shirt from the bed as though it had personally insulted him and lowered to capture her lips with his own.
XX
"… that was really good." Hitomi whispered against his chest, and the sound was nearly lost in the rumbled of thunder as they cuddled together after making love. He'd forgotten it was storming out.
"Hm." He agreed, pressing a kiss to her hair. "… thank you."
"Thank you." Hitomi returned with a laugh, snuggling close and he could feel the heat of his cheeks. "… I love you. So much."
His arms tightened and he buried his face into her hair, nuzzling until he could speak directly into her ear. "… I've always loved you… I think… I loved you from the moment I saw you."
They lay in each other's arms, the storm passing slowly sharing tender touches and caresses, relishing in their love. This aftermath was almost as pleasant as the rigorous activities.
"Hitomi?" He asked, his fingers trailing up her spine slowly, just enjoying the feel of her skin on his fingertips.
"Yes?" She sounded pleasantly contented, even a little sleepy. It made him smile. He liked that she was so happy in his arms. He liked that she felt safe enough to sleep soundly when he was near. The next four years were going to be utter hell to be sure. But at least, he knew he'd get her back.
"… if you want…" He started but his words trailed off with uncertainty. Perhaps, she didn't want to learn from him. Maybe that was why she'd asked Merle. Van didn't want to push but, he'd already initiated the conversation.
"Hm?"
Van debated not saying anything for a moment, but ended up tucking Hitomi against his chest and speaking over her head so that he wouldn't lose his nerve.
"In the evenings… I could teach you about Fanelia… and Gaea." He offered, still stroking her back. "It would be a perfect excuse to meet up and have some time alone for… other things as well." He tacked on when the silence stretched too long.
Hitomi let out a snort sound and then started shaking with laughter. The sound made his shoulders relax, especially when her hand stroked over his chest lovingly. "Well, that definitely is tempting."
"… is that a yes?"
Hitomi's head tilted back and looked up at him. Her smile was almost as warm as the soft look of her eyes. "I would love that." She pressed a kiss to his lips.
"I really want to learn as much as I can… and, I mean, any excuse to spend time with you is good."
"Good." Van managed, his heart feeling full and content.
XX
Eighteenth Day of the Ninth Month
Seventh Year of Carusfatum
Gaea
XX
The air was crisp and filled his lungs much as his pride filled his chest as he watched Anil make a few faltering flaps through the air toward him. He wasn't graceful, or even all that competent yet, but Anil was not falling and that was a large improvement from two days ago.
"That's good." He encouraged and his smile was so wide it actually hurt his cheeks. The tiny head popped up from where he'd been focused on the ground below. They were still in the cover of the forest, and Anil was trying to actively fly from the top of one tree down to him. Those large eyes showed nervousness but also complete trust, and Anil smiled in return and it was obvious he put even more effort into his flight.
Van waited patiently, arms open as Anil drew close. He was still a little ways away when his wings gave out and he flopped the last couple feet into Van's arms. He caught his son and let out a laugh of excitement.
"That was great Anil!"
The boy breathed heavily against his shoulder, a light sheen of sweat clinging to his forehead and dampening his hair from his effort. They had already been at it for a few hours, and the sun was starting to rise high enough into the sky to be concerning.
Besides… Allen and the others should be arriving today.
"I almost made it, did you see daddy?" Anil said after catching his breath and he sat up with more energy than Van would have thought possible.
"Yes, you did." Van lifted a hand to ruffle the child's hair and Anil squealed wriggling as though it were a new game. He continued to play a few more minutes before lowering to set Anil on the ground. "We should head inside."
"No!" Anil pouted, the sharp denial drawn out in a whine and those arms wrapped even tighter around his neck as Anil's whole body tried to wrap around Van's in a strangle hold.
"Anil." Van tried to sound stern but thought he rather failed as even he could hear the affection in the name. "It's time for breakfast."
"But you promised!"
"…" Van paused, only then remembering that he had indeed told Anil that if he could make it safely from the top of that tree, he'd take him above the trees to glide. Van had flown him up high that first time but had been hesitant to do it again as a fall from that height would be deadly. He believed he could catch Anil before that, but his fear had kept him from allowing his son to try that. "Tomorrow—"
"No! Please, please, please, Daddy! Just once!" Anil pleaded with him, "You could just fly me up and throw me up and catch me… I just… I want to see it…"
Van closed his eyes already knowing he was giving in, and felt the brush of tender emotions from Hitomi. There was no way she could know what they were doing, and his emotional output was likely very complex, but he liked to think this feeling was one she understood well herself.
"Fine."
"Yay!"
"But only once." Van said in a stern tone he found worked on Anil better than anything else. "And no fooling around. You are to glide back to me. No trying to fly. If you do, I will not take you back up again."
"Okay!" Anil was nodding his head so hard Van felt a headache for him. "I promise! I promise!"
"… we are going inside after this. It's getting late and Merle will be lonely."
"Okay, Daddy."
With a sigh and shake of his head, Van, stretched his wings out from his body and crouched slightly. He jumped up to gain a bit of momentum as he began to flap to gain altitude. It took only a few moments to get above the tree line.
"!" Anil let out a delighted sound and looked around him with a large grin on his face. It reminded him of Hitomi. She had enjoyed the view from the sky as well. "I can see everything! Oooh! Lookit! There's a ship daddy!"
Anil was pointing behind him toward the gate to enter Fanelia, and even before he turned, he had a feeling he knew what he would see. In the distance, he could see the Crusade moored at the docking port he'd installed just outside of the gate.
They are earlier than expected.
His heart felt relieved at the image, though a wary nervousness was quick to rise up. Now that they had arrived things could start moving forward. He would find a way to get to Hitomi and then…
"Daddy?"
"?" He was brought from his thoughts and saw Anil looking at him expectantly.
"Aren't you going to toss me?"
Van shook his head. "… I will throw you straight up. You aren't going to go that high."
"Awe… no fair… I wanted to glide."
"You will."
"But I'll make it back to you before I can even catch myself…"
He wasn't wrong. With a sigh, Van quickly calculated how much time he'd have before Merle or someone was sent to collect him. He had hoped to enjoy his morning meal with Anil before the meeting, but he doubted he'd have that luxury now. He could also tell, from the secured mooring, that the group had likely already disembarked and were either on their way to the castle or were already inside. With them being so high, and out in the open, it was quite likely that if the group were on the southwest side of the castle, they would have already seen both of them.
They will likely have questions… but I guess this makes it easier.
"Alright, Anil. I'm going to throw you up, I'll drop down a bit and you can glide to me. Is that fair?" Van knew he shouldn't give in to the request, but he couldn't help spoiling him a little.
"Yes!"
Besides, that grin was well worth it.
"If you look like you are struggling I'm going to get you."
"Okay."
Van let out a breath and then sifted his grip to hold Anil under his arms. In a fluid motion he rolled to his back, tossed Anil up and folded his wings allowing him to plummet a few feet before extending his wings to catch himself. His heart was pounding as he kept his eyes firmly locked on Anil. The boy was giggling like mad as he rose into the air. As gravity took hold and started to pull him down, those tiny wings snapped out to catch him.
He could see the tremor in the wings, and knew the fatigue was catching up with him, but Van waited as he'd promised. Anil let out a shriek of delight when his wings held and he was gliding in the air, high above the ground under his own power. Van smiled, knowing well that feeling, though he'd experienced it all too infrequently. He watched Anil make slow, descending circles as he had taught him and his pride flared again.
Just before he reached him, Anil's wings faltered, and Van pushed up to catch him just before his wings would have given out. Anil plopped into his arms, still laughing and gibbering on excitedly and Van decided he had not been wrong in allowing this.
"I did it! I could see the whole world, Daddy! Everything! It was awesome!"
Van nodded as he made a carful descent back to the glade. He landed deftly and both of their wings were again hidden. Anil had not paused in his chattering, even as he pulled the boy's shirt over his head and was reaching for his own when he heard the approach of another person. His senses had also felt the other's approach, and he was not at all surprised by the stern and slightly disapproving voice that called out to him sending an accusation he couldn't deny.
"Just seeing her to her room?"
Anil's head swiveled at the voice and before Van could even greet the blonde knight of Celi, Anil's excited voice cried out.
"Allen! You're Allen aren't you?"
XX
He could not say he was all that surprised, though he was angered and disappointed. He had no proof aside from those wings at first, but when that small child had turned to look at him, looking undeniably like his father with exception to those painfully familiar eyes, Allen knew without a doubt, who the child was. The fact that the boy knew his name and had enough of a description of him to know who he was on sight, also confirmed his suspicions.
Van's brows pinched and he frowned a little at the boy's exclamation, highlighting that he himself had not given said description. Allen smiled a little viciously at the clear jealousy he could see in the King's face. He could guess what Van was thinking, and he took some satisfaction in it.
You deserve it for not being a gentleman.
"I am indeed, Allen Schezar." He answered with flourish bow which made the boy clap. Allen lifted up to watch the child tug on Van's wrist excitedly, his next words confirming his assumptions.
"Daddy! It's Allen, from mommy's stories!"
"Anil." Van said setting a gentle hand upon the boy's head, though his eyes remained trained on Allen. From the heavy look, Allen could tell that Van knew why he was angry, and he was not avoiding that anger or his accusation.
Good.
"?"
"… remember what Merle said before?"
"But… Allen is a friend, right?" Anil questioned looking sad, and he slowly turned to look at Allen. "… should I not have said it?"
Ah. So he is smart enough to try and keep his parentage hushed.
"It's fine, Anil, but you should wait until after I introduce you. If I use your full name, then it's safe."
The child nodded and hid his face in Van's stomach. The boy was surprisingly sensitive, though, if Hitomi had raised the child on her own, it was not that unexpected. Hitomi had always been a sensitive and exceptionally kind woman. He watched the protective way Van comforted his child, going down on one knee to speak softly. Despite only having been in acquaintance for seven days, the two seemed to have grown quite close. It was a relief and was also equally as problematic.
While he liked to think he knew the King of Fanelia quite well, he still needed to be absolutely certain that Van would be taking responsibility for his actions. It appeared to be so; he had expected no less from him. He also knew how much the young king loved Hitomi; how much he still did, and he knew he would not let this go. However, Allen still felt the need to lecture him just a bit.
Van finished speaking to the boy, Anil, and brought him forward, holding one tiny hand. The boy seemed a little subdued still but not too much so.
"Allen, I would like to introduce you to my son, Anil Van de Fanel." The pride in Van's voice was unmistakable.
"Prince Anil." Allen said kindly, executing another bow. "It is an honor to meet you."
Anil giggled a little. The child was remarkably happy for the unexpected circumstances of his appearance.
Where is Hitomi then?
Allen had a sinking fear that perhaps Anil had come here to Van because Hitomi was no longer alive. He looked sharply at Van, but from the relaxed expression and lack of sorrow, he was fairly certain that was not the case. Still, it was a bit of a conundrum.
"I was sent by Merle to collect you both."
"Of course." Van stated and began leading the way back, Allen falling into step at his side.
"But what about breakfast?" Anil asked, sounding dejected.
"I'm sorry, Anil, but I will see you at lunch."
"But—"
"I kept my promise about the sky, didn't I?" Van asked, lifting an eyebrow. Anil merely pouted, clearly not happy with that. Van sighed, "Allen and the others are here to discuss how to get to… mommy."
Allen barely stopped the laugh that bubbled up at the awkward way Van said the term, but enough sound had escaped that Van shot him a glare over his shoulder. Allen smirked back at him unaffected.
So, she is alive. That is a relief.
"Really?!" Anil sounded as though he might just explode with excitement and then he started tugging on Van's hand trying to hurry him along. "Come on! Hurry, hurry!"
Van let Anil run ahead of them a bit and Allen took the opportunity to confront him. He couldn't ask anything directly, as Anil was likely to come running back before too long, and he was certain neither he nor Van wanted Anil to understand what it was they were discussing.
"I take it this is an unknown development."
"… I was unaware." The tight way the words were spoken left little to the imagination and Allen felt a sympathetic empathy towards Van. He could understand that pain and anger better than most, he imagined; the betrayal of the heart.
"I'm sure she had her reasons." It was a weak platitude that he knew did little to help ease the pain of knowing the woman you loved had taken your love, your child and gave you no choices, no options and no apologies. However, those were the only words that he had been able to cling to all these years knowing Chid was his own and being unable to do anything about it.
"…" Van's lips thinned but he said nothing, and Allen did not press.
While he could understand Van, he still had no intention of letting him off the hook simply because he knew Van would have done everything to protect Hitomi and Anil had he known. He had tried to warn them seven years ago when their relationship had just started out. It had been presumptuous of him to appoint himself as Hitomi's guardian, but having been in their place before, he felt it was only his duty to try and prevent them from making the same mistakes.
He'd failed, clearly, but at the very least, it would seem that Van would not have to miss out on knowing his son. There was still a chance for him to reclaim all he'd lost. Allen was going to assist in any way he could, no matter the cost, but that did not mean he wouldn't give Van some flak for it first.
"You are going to fix things." It was not a question, so he wasn't all that surprised when Van merely scowled at him from the side, his expression calling him an idiot. Van had, after all, just confirmed with his words to Anil, that Millerna, Chid and himself had been called to do precisely that.
"I will bring her back." He eventually said looking ahead as Anil stopped and turned to run back their way.
"… and if she does not wish to return?"
It was perhaps, the cruelest thing he could ask. It was, nonetheless, an important and necessary question. Van's expression turned dark, his hands fisting at his sides and his form turning tighter than a bow string.
"…" He had no answer to give, not that Allen actually expected him to, and it took Anil's return to soften Van's form. The child excitedly tugged them forward some before tearing off once more, unable to keep a sedate pace.
"… I will not lose him." Van stated with conviction and Allen's lips thinned uncertain how he should feel about that. As a man, and a father who had been given no choice, he understood and agreed with Van's conviction. As a friend of Hitomi's, the clear indication that Van would use her son to force her back made him uneasy and a little concerned. That was unlike Van, and he truly hoped that this was nothing more than bravado speaking; that Van would hesitate before actually doing something like that.
"You have a mess to clear up." He changed the topic just slightly, knowing nothing else could really be gained from continuing the other.
"I know."
I imagine you do.
"You will owe use a heavy toll for lying." He said casually, well aware that they all would need to give testimony and somehow prepare some false documents to protect both Hitomi and Anil from the stigma of the nobility, but still he rubbed it in Van's face just because he could. Fanelia might be small in comparison to Asturia and Zaibach, but it was still subject to the same prejudices and cruelty. Anil would already be facing much being Van's son and therefore "cursed". He didn't need to be labeled a bastard on top of it.
"I am willing and happy to pay it."
Allen finally felt his tension ease some and he managed a real smile as they made it out of the woods and into the garden. Anil was already at the breezeway, jumping up and down next to a very irate looking Merle. Her tail was fluffed and her arms were crossed. He could just imagine the lecture Van was going to get when Merle got him alone to rant.
"… then that is enough." He said, gripping Van's shoulder and pulling him to a stop. Van turned to face him just as Allen gave a squeeze to that shoulder, hoping to express his support and understanding in that one gesture.
Van's expression smoothed out a bit, comprehension dawning and he too reached out to clasp Allen's shoulder. They understood each other and that was enough.
"Daddy! Come on!" Anil shouted and Van closed his eyes shaking his head. They pulled away to finish their approach, and just before they entered earshot, Allen said the last thing he felt needed to be spoken between them.
"Congratulations, Van."
"?"
He kept his gaze trained on the small child, no older than Chid had been upon their first official meeting. His chest still ached at the memory and the lost opportunities. He was truly happy for his friend that he did not have to experience the same loss he did.
"He is a fine heir."
There was no response as they had come close enough that Merle could be heard and she was already speaking angrily. "Lord Van. Everyone is waiting in your study. Trent is being nosey so I sent him off to ensure the Crusade was properly docked but you know it won't keep him long."
"Of course. Thank you, Merle." Van expertly avoided her ire by not acknowledging it and Allen wondered how much he'd pay for that one. Merle was no longer the smitten little girl from seven years ago, and she had become a force to be reckoned with.
"Hmph." Merle snorted and reached down to take Anil's hand. The action was swift but Allen took note of the gentleness in the actual grip. "I'll take Anil to get some breakfast."
"What? But, I want to go too!" Anil predictably argued.
"No. I need you to go eat."
"But—!"
Van shook his head crouching down before the tiny boy and gripping his shoulders. "Anil. I need you to go with Merle. When we need you I'll have you come in, okay?"
It was clearly not okay as far as Anil was concerned, but he nodded his head, lower lip sticking out rebelliously. Allen felt a shiver of wariness at the look that he had come to recognize from caring for Celena. He wondered, as Van nodded his head with an oblivious smile and bid Anil a good meal, if he knew just how badly he'd been duped.
Perhaps I'm over thinking things.
Allen thought to himself. Just because that look on his sister preceded her locking herself in a bathroom for three days and before that, sneaking out in men's clothes to explore at night or, you know sneaking into certain royals private spaces and staring at them until said royal became so unnerved they literally ran away, did not mean Anil would do something too, right?
XX
Millerna couldn't believe what she had seen. There was no way, and no point in denying what she had seen, but it was still impossible to actually believe. Mere days before she and Chid had just discussed this exact possibility, and while it had been plausible she still had not believed it to be the actual truth.
Van and Hitomi have a child.
"Do you think he knew?" She asked, still a little dazed and her question drew Chid's attention away from the interior of Van's office.
"… I don't know."
That was fair. She rather hoped Van had known about this and had remained silent for whatever reason. Though, if he had then his reaching out to them made little sense unless Hitomi was in some kind of danger. However, if Van had not known of his son's existence, Millerna thought she might just cry. It was simply too sad to contemplate especially now that she'd seen that touching moment in which Van was teaching the child to fly.
"Allen seemed angry." Chid commented and Millerna smiled a little.
"He had rather seen himself as a guardian of sorts for Hitomi. To know he'd failed in protecting her virtue likely is causing this." Millerna said with a smile, hoping Chid wouldn't push the issue. She didn't think it was her place to discuss the details of Allen's feelings and actions in regards to Hitomi.
She had spoken, honestly, with Allen shortly after Dryden had left her and Hitomi had been sent back to the Mystic Moon. It had been a long overdue discussion in which Millerna was able to work through her feelings and get a good grasp on Allen's own. During that time she'd asked him several very personal questions. One of which had been in regards to Hitomi and the marriage Allen had been discussing with the girl before she had heard Van's thoughts during battle and run away.
She had known that Allen was pushing to marry Hitomi and that Hitomi had seemed rather conflicted about it. After she had been returned, the topic was simply never brought back up. Allen did not mention it again, and as far as she knew, he and Hitomi had never actually spoken about it at all. She had returned and immediately moved on to Van.
Millerna hadn't questioned it at first, however, during her talk with Allen she had been granted some insight, including the kiss that had been shared in the rain. From that kiss their relationship began, though from Allen's description it was less of a relationship and more like a contract. He was determined to put Hitomi in a bubble to protect her from everything as he'd failed to do with his sister. Hitomi was too young to fight against him and had merely been lost in Allen's own ambition and actions.
What had he said? Hitomi was a substitute for his sister?
Her heart had truly gone out to Allen during that discussion. She now knew he'd been in love with her sister Marlene. Had been forced to let her go and had been unaware of his own son until it was far too late for him to do anything. He'd lost it all, after already losing his family one by one. He had found something familiar and dear to him in Hitomi but she was never his to claim and he had lost her as well. The only consolation was that Celena had been returned to him.
She was glad he seemed to be healing now, and she had found her own happiness as well. Still, the anger on his face when he told Merle he would collect Van had said all too clearly that he was still playing the role of "big brother".
Chid snorted and shook his head. "… I don't believe he has much of a say in the matter. Especially not now."
Melerna managed a small laugh. "No, I don't suppose he does. That won't stop him from lecturing Van though."
No matter if he has no room to talk…
Millerna thought sadly as she looked at her nephew. She would never say as much aloud and certainly not in front of Chid. If the boy didn't know it would be cruel to say something now, and if he did know, well, he himself had kept the silence which said enough.
"No. I suppose not." Chid had a complicated expression on his face and Millerna felt just a little bit awkward because of it. Unconsciously she fiddled with the missive Dryden had given her, she had her suspicions on what was inside, but until Van opened it she couldn't be certain.
"… you think that will help Van out of this problem?" Chid asked, eyeing the sealed document and Millerna felt her lips quirk in a soft amused smile.
"I hope it does. Knowing Dryden, it is probably going to be exactly what Van needs and we all will be left wondering just how long ago he had known about this."
Chid laughed at that. "Knowing your husband, he probably took notice before Van and Hitomi ever realized their feelings for each other and took a gamble on something like this happening."
"… know it all merchant." Millerna muttered good naturedly under her breath just as the door to the study opened and Van and Allen stepped through. They looked to be in a surprisingly companionable mood, though Van's expression was heavy.
"Thank you for coming so quickly." Van began, and Millerna took note of the friendly pat that Allen gave the young King's shoulder. Some of her anxiety eased at that, and she smiled. She had been right, if anyone could understand Van it would be Allen.
"There is no need for thanks; you would have done the same for us, King Fanelia." Chid said, amusingly using Van's title instead of his name.
"I am still thankful, Duke. I know it is not easy to leave your territory so swiftly." Van didn't make eye contact here as he moved to sit in his chair, gesturing for them all to take their own seats in the chairs that had been provided. "I suppose I should get right to it, then."
"That would be for the best, I would think." Allen said, choosing to stand near the window, arms crossed over his chest.
"… right." Van sighed, braced his arms upon his desk as Millerna and Chid took the offered seats. "… I assume you all saw what Allen did." He began. "… I'm sure you all have come to the same conclusion." When no one said anything, Van sighed and confirmed what they had already guessed. "It is true. The child that arrived in Fanelia a week ago is my son."
"… I assume from the tone and wording of your message, you did not know of this when you sent the carrier-pigeon." Chid stated and Millerna flinched at the tight-lipped frown on Van's face.
Oh no… she really didn't tell him…
Millerna gripped the item in her hands tightly and wondered how this information might affect everything else.
"Why did only your son arrive?" She asked, hesitantly, afraid of the answer.
"… I'm not entirely certain of the events, but from what I can piece together, it was an accident." Van stated.
"Accident?" Allen sounded surprised. "Without the pendant how—"
"Dornkirk did not have a pendant either." Van said sullenly ending that conversation abruptly. "We still don't know how it all works, and from what Anil has said," Van's use of the name gave Millerna a start and she took note of the new prince's name, "he had gotten angry with Hitomi and ran off. He said he wished to see me and it worked."
"So, he knew about you?" She asked, though that was hardly important in the grand scheme of things, it was important and she was still a little disappointed when all Van did was nod in answer.
"So, there was no other motivating factor? Just a tantrum?" Chid asked, head cocked to the side in confusion.
"… I still don't know what sent him running, and all I get from Hitomi is the basic understanding that she is concerned for our child and that she, herself, is well."
Oh! Their strange link from before must still be there.
Millerna had honestly forgotten about that fact until Van made mention of it, she felt a little bad for forgetting but it seemed she wasn't the only one as Allen was frowning and Chid, who had not been with them at the time of that reveal, looked confused.
"Wait, you are in contact with Lady Hitomi?" Chid asked.
"… it's not… definitive." Van said with a little bit of discomfort, one hand going behind his head to rub at his neck. "I have been able to sense… feelings from her since she left. It's not really conclusive but it's enough to know she isn't in any danger."
"… oh." Chid seemed to mull this over some more.
"… so, we know the child isn't an omen of impending doom." Millerna brought up carefully, with a hopeful smile. "Then, I believe we should discuss what it is you need from us, Van."
The relief that rushed through him was visible and Millerna smiled gently as Van gave her a very small, gentle smile.
"Of course."
XX
18 September, 2003
Earth
XX
"Ginger tea should help, but you need to be careful to offset your tea drinking with water." Hitomi was saying as she poured Yuakri a cup of said tea. "Tea is a diuretic and you need to keep fluids in you."
Yukari laughed, shaking her head, "You do remember that I was the one who told you this right?"
"Of course." Hitomi smiled back, her mood and demeanor greatly changed from two days ago. "Is it as tiresome to hear as I remember?"
Yukari made a sound of fake disbelief and threw a potato chip at Hitomi. The scene was so casual; no normal it felt almost weird and it was hard for him to feel comfortable in the atmosphere that had been so heavy just days prior.
Susumu had no idea on how exactly he should be feeling. Three days ago he'd met with Ishikawa and been disappointed but resigned to the realities he was facing; he was likely to lose his best friend and his quasi son. Two days ago, he woke in the middle of the night to find Yukari gone. She had been having trouble sleeping lately and so he'd gotten up to check on her, only to find Yukari and Hitomi holding one another and crying on the floor of the bathroom that reeked of vomit.
No sooner had he made his presence known, than Hitomi had jumped up and offered to make some tea, leaving him alone with his wife. He had then learned of her pregnancy. To say he was happy was beyond an understatement. He had thought that just wasn't in the cards for them. The doctors had even said he was unlikely to be able to father children due to an old groin injury. It had been sad, but they had both accepted it and had agreed to dote and spoil Anil until they decided to adopt.
This child was a miracle. Plain and simple.
But that joy was shadowed by guilt. Anil was still missing, and now was not the time to be celebrating. Susumu hadn't known what to feel or how to act, and when Hitomi came back, smiling and happy for them, he'd almost wanted to prostrate himself on the floor and beg her to forgive them for being so happy when she was in such hell.
Thankfully, Hitomi was quick to inform him that whatever mystical connection she had with her lover from the planet no one could see, was working and she now knew that Anil was safe and that it was all going to be okay. He didn't know how she could be so certain, but it was enough for him to accept it and Hitomi's honest congratulations on their growing family.
In less than a day following that, Hitomi was pulling baby items out of storage and sorting them into three piles; hers, theirs and donation. At first, he'd assumed it was another way to keep herself busy as they waited for Anil to return, and he had been more than satisfied to look through the items and think about his and Yukari's child. Perhaps it was too soon to be doing such things; there were numerous things that could and did go wrong in the first trimester of a pregnancy, but seeing as this was helping Hitomi, he wasn't about to stop.
However, he soon realized that his assumption had been too narrow-minded and self-serving. Hitomi wasn't just cleaning out her things; she was preparing for a permanent move. She was setting aside baby items such as a papoose and binkies, and her hand-operated breast pump and bottles. Things she could carry in a bag that likely did not exist on the planet she called Gaea.
She was also going through, not just the baby items, but her own and Anil's as well. A rather frightening amount of things were taken away to the donation centers in the last two days and Susumu had to face the fact that Hitomi was weeding out the useless things that would only be a burden for them and her family to have to sort and get rid of after she and Anil had left before the house could be resold.
It was expected really. This was what she had waited for after all, and yet, he felt somehow unsatisfied with that. After all the years and pain she'd suffered, she was just going to run back to the arms of the man that had put her through hell without even a moment's hesitation?
I should talk to her about it.
The intent and thought was there, yet he found himself unable to voice them. He knew Hitomi wasn't stupid, and she always put Anil's well-being before her own, however, this behavior was concerning.
… she didn't say he was coming to get her.
"Amano? Are you alright?" Hitomi's voice drew his attention and he realized he was frowning down at a sleeper Anil had worn as a chubby baby. "You don't have to take it if you don't like it."
"What's wrong with it?" Yukari said, sounding almost offended. "I bought that one."
"No, it's not the—" Susumu sighed and put his arms down deciding to just bite the bullet as it were and speak up. "Are you just going to return with him?"
"Hm?"
"… after everything that you have gone through. Are you really going to let it go so easily?"
Aren't you angry?
Hitomi's eyes widened with understanding, and then her expression melted into the softest and most mature expression he'd ever seen on her face. It reminded him of when they had been in school and why he'd been drawn to her in the first place. Hitomi had a calm understanding about her that was unlike anything he'd ever come across before. He had wanted to know what made her that way, and now, he still wanted to know though that desire was far more platonic than before.
"… I haven't let it go, Amano."
"Then why are you making plans to leave?" His question made Yukari start and she looked around her as though only just realizing that that was indeed what they had been doing all along, and her slender fingers came up to cover her mouth in shock. It was really cute and sweet and Susumu felt his heart warm at his wife's reaction.
"I don't expect you to understand, or even accept it." Hitomi began, folding another item of clothing in her lap. "I am not the only one who has been hurt. If I'm honest, I hurt Van far more and definitely more often than he has ever hurt me." Her eyes took on a distant cast as though she were seeing all those distant times playing out before her.
Her brow pinched and her lips turned down in a sad expression and Susumu wondered what she could possibly have done that was so bad that she'd consider this to be adequate compensation, but he kept his curiosity in check.
"So, you are going to forgive him out of guilt?"
"No. I don't know what will happen when he returns. I know we will have to talk… and we both will have to consider what is best for Anil." Hitomi sighed and looked to the mantel where pictures of Anil and herself were proudly displayed. "… but this had always been my plan. I still love him. I honestly wish to return with him. If we can work things out… then I do not want anything to hold me back. That's why I'm doing this now. Not because it's a forgone conclusion, but because I want to be prepared in case this all works out as I hope it will."
"…" He had nothing to say to that.
"… well, that killed the mood." Yukari grumbled, stirring her tea and looking through the baby clothes on the table. Hitomi managed a weak laugh and pulled out another sleeper drawing Yukari's attention from his sullen silence.
He wasn't certain what he had expected, but he knew he wasn't really satisfied with the answer. There was, however, nothing to be done about it. So with a huff, he stood and set the sleeper in his hand upon the pile he and Yukari would be taking and grabbed another box to sort through, sitting beside Yukari and purposefully picked up a burp rag and diverted the conversation to something more light-hearted.
"Exactly how many of these things will we need?"
Hitomi's laugh was infectious and eased the last of the tension. "A lot. If your baby is anything like Anil, every time you burp them they will spit up a little (1)."
"… great." He affected a martyrdom expression much to the glee of the women and let his concerns drift to the fringes of his mind. It wasn't his place to stop Hitomi, or lecture her on what she should or should not do. Until her angel came back with Anil, no one could know what would happen, and so, it would serve him better to enjoy this time with his friend while he had it, and celebrate his joy about his and Yukari's child while he could.
A.N. Not much happened in this chapter, and I'm sorry about that, but I still feel like these scenes are important for the characters themselves. Not too long now until the reunion chapter you all have been awaiting.
1) This is not entirely true, neither of my boys did this, however, a friend of mine had two of her three babies do this to her, so it's a luck of the draw. However, burp rags are amazing for damned near anything a baby might shoot from its body so having them on hand is very useful.
