Err, hi? It's been a while? *hides behind chair*
I deeply apologize for the delay for this chapter. For some reason, I developed a severe case of writer's block for this one and could not make it past the first two paragraphs for the longest time. Very bad Chuchi, I know, and I thank you guys for your patience with me on this one.
On a brighter note, many, many thanks to those who gave this story a try. I am truly honored and I hope you guys will love what's coming next. This next chapter will be rather long to make up for the months that have passed without an update. Once again, reviews and suggestions are highly appreciated.
Flames will be used to roast marshmallows for my s'mores.
I'm…dead?
Ron didn't know how long he had been on the ground, on all fours, mouth agape in wordless gasping. He wasn't aware of anything save for the one dreadful thought bouncing back and forth in his head.
I'm dead?
It wasn't that he was completely unprepared for the possibility. Granted, he was not the type to think over death and dying—or anything remotely deep, for that matter—, but considering that he was at war where the chances of dying were rather high, Ron had somewhat come into terms with it possibly happening.
Keyword being somewhat.
Life, however, had other ideas. And this, this by far, was one of the grandest it has had so far in the most fucked up sense.
"How long are you planning to sit there gaping like a miserable fool, Weasley?"
I'm dead and stuck with Snivellus FUCKING Snape, of all people?!
That kicked Ron's infamous temper back into action. "Well, what were you expecting me to do? Break into a dance singing about rainbows and pygmy puffs?!"
But Snape merely stared stonily at the younger wizard, making Ron's face burn bright red with gnashed teeth at the lack of response. "I just found out I died, you greasy arsehole! Dead as a bloody doornail, without getting past eighteen and hardy worth anything!"
"Weasley—"
"I wanted to get a good job. I was gonna help everyone rebuild. I wanted to settle down with her!" Ron jabbed his index finger harshly at his former professor with each statement. "But because of your bloody war and that bastard of a half-blood Voldemort, I've lost all that and now my friends and family are still fighting while I'm stuck in this rut with you of all people being an useless sod. An utterly. Absolutely. Useless. SOD!"
A tense pause hung heavily in the air for too long before Ron turned away from Snape with a hand pressed to his scrunched up face and his burning eyes.
No he was not going to cry. He was not going to cry in front of the greasy old bat! He was a Gryffindor and a Weasley, goddamnit! And Gryffindors and Weasleys are never weak, snivelling crybabies—!
"Had enough yet, Weasley?"
Oh, Snape just gets off from being the world's biggest dickhead, doesn't he? Ron snarled darkly. "Why you—you one big son of a—!"
But the older man's wand was at his throat in a matter of seconds. "If you wish not to be hexed to oblivion then awaken in a full body bind, I suggest you keep that tongue of yours in check. I've been gracious enough to allow you your previous tantrum. Do not think that I would be willing to suffer another second of it."
"Do your worst, you bastard!" Ron growled back with every bit of fury he could muster. "As if there's something you can do that can change anything! You can't make me any worse off than I already am so go right ahead, you traitorous git!"
Blazing blue challenged bottomless black in what seemed like forever before Snape spoke again. "Then would you rather have it the other way?"
The almost softness in the other man's voice threw Ron for a loop. "H-huh?"
"You are here because you made the choice of saving your brother over watching him die." Snape clarified with a stony expression. "Are you beginning to regret that decision now? Would you rather have him here in your place so you could live that life you think this war has stolen from you?"
"What the hell? Of course not, I—!" At that, all of the fight seemingly banished from Ron's body.
That's right. Ron was dead and here because he saved Fred—the usually bloody insufferable yet incredibly witty, just as talented and at times, remarkably insightful and obnoxiously protective arse Fred. The guy may have been a right git to him for much of his life, but Fred was Ron's brother and Ron would give his life for any of his brothers in a heartbeat.
And, all things considered in hindsight and all honesty, Ron was sort of glad that it was him who died instead of Fred. Ron may have his own dreams and wants for a long life ahead, but Fred had what it took to reach further, do far more, than the youngest Weasley boy ever could…
SNAP!
Ron gasped when he felt the sharp slap of Snape's wand against his face. "OW! Hey, what—?!"
"Playing hero to save your brother may have been so utterly Gryffindor it is sickening, but you spitting on the very sacrifice you made is even more unbearably pathetic!" Snape cut in coldly, jabbing his wand back under Ron's chin. "You dove headfirst into this war as an of age fighter so at least show some iota of maturity! And instead of whining like a miserable child over what you have lost, open your eyes to what is around you. Then you might actually see what there is that you can still do something about."
Ron blinked owlishly then creased his eyebrows. "What I can—? Last time I checked, Snape, I'm already dead so unless there is something I can do down here that can somehow help everyone fight this war, then the most I can be is a ghost. And we both know how awfully useful ghosts are!"
But then again, an impish side of the red head piped up, as a ghost, I can float around like a Peeves exclusive to Death Eaters. I mean, I don't know if I can kill anyone, but at least I can make things harder for them. Prank them, chuck some dungbombs or something…
"If you would reign that temper in, I might actually get to the point of why I am here in this abominable pit you call your mind." Snape snapped.
Ron was thrown for another loop. Right, that reminded him… "Wait, what ARE you doing here, anyway? If I wouldn't even want to dream about you, then you're not really the first person in my list who I'd want to see when I die." And to be honest, you're pretty much not there.
Snape snorted at that. "And if you haven't been busy throwing a fit over everything without waiting for an explanation, you might have noticed that I never said that you were actually dead."
Ron felt his chest twist so tightly that he felt that he couldn't breathe for a second. "What do you mean—? I'm not—I'm not—?"
"You are not dead, Weasley." Snape said after what felt like forever. "At least, not in the fullest sense of the word."
The marble hallway was so quiet that not even Ron's uneven breathing could be heard. But the younger wizard hardly noticed.
"I—I'm not dead?" Ron croaked, reduced to a gasping fit for the second time that hour. "I'm not—but how am I—? I saw—that time you showed me! The wall, I—I got Fred out! The wall fell on me! My head was leaking blood like a busted faucet and, hell, I wasn't even breathing! So how—?"
"When you are not running your mouth because of your atrocious temper, it will be because of your theatrics." If Snape were any less…Snape-ish, the man would have rolled his eyes at Ron's slipping and sliding jaw and shot up brows. "Have you ever thought that exerting more in controlling yourself and just listening may have worked for you better in the long run? That I may have gotten to my point sooner, for instance?"
Ron's cheeks immediately flared, both from anger and embarrassment. While he had to concede, grudgingly, that Snape had a point, does the guy really have to be such a dick about it?
Oh, right, I forgot who I was talking to for a second.
"You are not truly dead, Weasley, but you are not fully alive either." Snape went on, seeing that Ron was properly chastised. "As you have just witnessed, you have known physical death. Have been for more than an hour, based on what I have seen. However, your soul is still tethered to your body, albeit barely. This place is a representation of both your subconscious and the limbo, or the realm where souls neither dead nor alive remain until they cross a side."
Ron blinked when Snape finished, more confused than ever. "Is that even possible? Can someone really end up being not being completely dead? Can it happen to anybody? Wait, does that mean you are not dead too?"
Snape pursed his lips, making Ron momentarily worried that the man wouldn't explain further. "…It does not happen as often as many would like, for this realm, and everything that falls under it, is governed by something not entirely magical."
"Which is?"
"Some, like us, would claim that it is Death. Others would call it a God, or even fate or destiny. But what can be agreed upon is that it is a higher being that rules over life, how long one lives as well as when and how he will ultimately end. Many wizards may try to defy It, but Its design is undeniable.
"However, there are rare instances wherein that which that very design is…altered." Snape paused almost dramatically. "Instances such as yours."
Ron started when Snape's gaze bore directly into his. "Err, what?"
"Simply put, it is not your time to die yet. If it is anyone's, it was your brother, Fred Weasley's." Snape continued, ignoring the angry cry from the younger wizard. "However, you took the fall for him. For some reason, that put such a huge upset in the higher being's will that It deemed to give you a form of a second chance."
A second chance? Ron felt the stirrings of hope in his chest. "You mean, I can—I can go back? I can really come back to life again?"
"Your soul will be permitted to return to your body as if it had never left." The ginger haired teen would have whooped with joy if not for Snape's following statement. "But it will not be without a price."
"Price?" Ron repeated, the smile building in his face immediately dropping at that.
Snape pointed, and Ron turned to see a heavy looking stone door beyond the white chess pieces. "That door will lead you back to the land of the living, but once you make that choice, It will demand a form of compensation. You have known death in this realm, therefore, in order for you to return to the living, someone else must take your place.
"In other words, you will come back to life, and Death will take the soul of the one who should have died all along."
"You mean Fred?!" Ron gasped, wheeling around to glare at Snape. "Like I'll let that happen! I died so that my brother wouldn't, remember? What makes you or It think that I'll be fine with Fred taking my place?"
"Even if it would mean truly dying?" Snape asked with an arched brow. "Were you not whining earlier about everything you have lost by being dead? This is an opportunity for you to get everything back, and if I know you Gryffindor fools, I am sure your brother would be a willing sacrifice, as it was he who was meant to die, after all."
Ron did not even need a moment to think it over.
The prospect of returning to life, to be with his friends and family again, to see to the dreams he long held onto, was absolutely tempting. But if it meant losing Fred in the process, then Ron would rather stay dead. Nothing would be worth losing any of his friends or family.
"You can tell Death, God, Fate or whoever the hell It is that he can take his offer for me to come back in exchange for Fred and shove it up where the sun doesn't shine." Ron snarled with another finger jab at Snape. "I'm not going back if it would mean killing off Fred and that's that! You and It will just have to put up with me raising hell among you dead people because I'm not going anywhere!"
The hall was quiet again, and Ron waited with bated breath for the inevitable of Snape (or even Death Itself) whisking him to the afterlife and forever bar him from seeing his loved ones again until it was time for them to cross over.
An excruciating standstill until Snape spoke.
"Do you recognize where we are? What your limbo has taken form of?"
Well, that was unexpected. Nevertheless, Ron answered. "Err, I think this is the hall for McGonagall's trial? Back in First Year, to protect the Philosopher's Stone?"
"Then you also recall that this hall has two doors, correct?"
"Well, duh. The one beyond the white pieces is the exit and the other one's where we came from." Ron shrugged, eyeing Snape strangely. "Why are you asking?"
"For everyone who passes through the limbo, the room that manifests becomes symbolic of both a turning point in their lives and the choices available to them. There is this one…" Snape hesitated as his face morphed a particularly sour look.
"His limbo was in a form of a train station, and his two choices involve boarding the train that will lead him to the afterlife or cross the barrier to return to the land of the living. Those are his choices because his fate could go either way: it was his time to die, yet he is also free to return.
"But for your case, you also have two choices. The white door," Snape pointed to the stone archway behind Ron. "As it is your way forward to the present you have missed, would have returned you to the land of the living. It would have been the most likely option at first glance, but it is not the only one available."
"The door behind the black pieces?" Ron glanced to the door that had been in the past the way by which he, Harry and Hermione entered McGonagall's transfigured chessboard.
"I do not know where that door will lead." Snape confessed, making Ron's gaze turn back to him. "What I am certain is that that door will definitely not lead you to death. The limbo is also connected to other realities, much like how a trunk of a tree is still connected to all its branches.
"Though, theoretically, I would wager that that door would lead you…back."
"Back?" Ron echoed. "What do you mean back?"
"Use your head, Weasley." Snape snapped irritably. "If one door will lead you forward to the present, bypassing all the events that you have missed while you were dead, what can a door that does the opposite do?"
Ron scrunched his forehead in several seconds of thought before finally, finally, something clicked. "W-wait, you can't mean—?"
"Of course, this is all merely theory. I have no way of proving what I have just said nor do I care enough to try." Snape waved a hand. "But for someone who has the chance to regain his life and even change certain things for the better, if you are half the reckless pighead that your friend Potter is, I don't see why you wouldn't try."
"Don't call Harry a pighead, you git!" Ron snapped as he crossed his arms. "And why should I trust you? For all you know, you could be leading me into a trap! Just like how you tricked Dumbledore back at that tower!"
Snape's expression clearly screamed 'What sort of idiot did you leave me to deal with, Death?' when he replied. "If you continue to distrust me, then that is your choice. Whether you pick your own death, your brother's or another path entirely is not my concern. I am merely a guide that for some reason, was thought to be most appropriate for you. Whichever allegiance I may have had during the war will matter little here. As you have mentioned, I cannot make you any more dead than you already are, seeing as we are both ghosts."
"So you're actually—?"
"Yes, Weasley, I am already dead. I have long come to terms with it, but if I had the chance to go back, if I had the opportunity you have now, even if the possibility is so close to non-existent," Snape's lips curled downwards. "A man with too many regrets and nothing to lose would have taken it."
As the black haired man took a moment to draw a ragged breath, Ron suddenly found himself seeing the Death Eater in a different light. Back in his Hogwarts days, Snape had been nothing more than a sour bully of a Potions professor who played favorites blatantly, obsessed over taking over the Defense Against the Dark Arts teaching position for ages and was horrible to Harry and his friends at any given opportunity.
Not to say that Ron had conveniently forgotten what a foul arse Snape had been, but seeing the usually stoic, hard-faced man's mask crumble the slightest bit for traces of grief, pain and—dare Ron say it—longing to ease through…
Maybe there was more to Snape than Ron previously thought. Still, that doesn't answer Ron's final question.
"So why are you helping me?" Ron managed to voice it out. "You said it wouldn't matter to you no matter what choice I make. Then why is it as if you're trying to convince me to take that other door?"
Snape eyed Ron carefully before grunting. "My reasons are my own, and I do not owe you any explanation for them. I will however suggest that you learn something from what I have been telling you thus far and think over your decision carefully, for I will not give you another opportunity to change your mind. Now make your choice, Ronald Weasley, and make sure that you will not regret it."
The young wizard closed his eyes momentarily and begun weighing his options. Screw what Snape thinks or actually trust the man who may be more than just the traitor who killed Dumbledore?
Death or a possible chance to change the future and possibly save lives?
To die a miserable hero's death or becoming something more?
Ron's feet moved on their own before he had fully grasped where he was headed, but made no move to stop them.
He had already made his decision, because Snape was right. And all things considered, this was really the only way to—
SCHING!
"Woah, what the—?!" Ron barely managed to back away when the black pawns drew their swords to block his way to the backdoor. "Snape!"
And the old greasy bat—damn him!—had the gall to sneer dryly. "While I applaud that you have finally made a decision, I never said choosing that door would be that easy. After all, were you not initially on the white side of this board?"
Ron gulped when the reality of the statement hit him as he gazed warily at the black pieces, particularly their tall, sword bearing Queen.
"Bloody hell…"
Ehehe, you guys didn't think it would be that easy too, did you?
It might seem that this prologue appears rather dragging, but there is a method behind my madness. I'm hoping to teach Ron a lot of things over the course of this fanfic and this upcoming fight will be an opportunity to teach one of them. So what do you guys think? Am I doing OK so far? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Reviews are golden!
Also of note, I am not British. I do try my best to write out this fanfic with their culture and language in mind (time appropriate, of course), I may miss out on some things that may offend British sensibilities. I apologize for that and would love to be corrected about it, if knowledgeable readers have the time. If not, I hope you will bear with me. Again. *sweatdrop*
Hopefully, I won't take too long with the next chapter. Until then, I wish you guys all the best and many thanks again for reading!
UP NEXT:
So, yes, Ron, choosing the road less taken has never been easy. But is he up to the challenge of sticking to his wands, so to speak, when his opponent has some mean tricks up Its sleeves? And who is Ron's opponent anyway? Also, what's this, Snape and Ron actually getting along? Ish?
