I'm so sorry, this took a long time. I had one of my last exams in university. Thank you again for your support, it means so much to me. So, on we go! :) Have fun and thanks for reading!
After a sleepless night, Peter felt utterly exhausted. He couldn't fade out the image of the desperate and broken boy, laying defenceless in his hospital bed. He asked himself over and over again what he could do to help him, to gain the boy's trust, to convince him of his good intentions. During the night he came to the conclusion that he shouldn't have gone so quickly after all, but he felt helpless himself and didn't know how to handle the situation right. He had the feeling, that there weren't many reliable grown ups in the kid's life before and he hadn't proofed his dependability by leaving him alone after all the boy went through. When he walked down the stairs, he felt nearly overwhelmed by his feelings of failure. El was sitting at the kitchen table, her morning tea in front of her and Peter gently kissed her forehead.
"Morning, hon!", he said but couldn't hide his exhaustion und feelings of guilt at all. He had never been good at hiding his emotions when he was with her. She made him feel safe and he felt able to open up in her company.
And of course, she now took one look at Peter and knew something wasn't right. "Good morning, love. You came home late. And it's obvious that you had a restless night. What happened yesterday?".
Peter sat down in front of her with his usual cup of coffee. He hesitantly started reporting everything that had happened but left out some of the cruel details the doctor had told him. He wasn't sure whether he did it to protect El or to protect himself, because he felt he couldn't stand to go through all of these unbearable details again. Although, he somehow suspected, that he would have to do it anyway, when the kid was ready to talk properly. But not today and not in front of his wife. He could literally see El's light grey eyes darken and she seemed close to tears but didn't interrupt him.
When he had finished, they both sat in silence for a moment. Peter took another sip from his mug, just to calm down by doing something, although he supposed coffee wouldn't really help. His wife looked at him, her expression still horrified.
"Peter, who could do something so… unbelievable terrible to a child? Did he tell you? What about his family? Didn't they protect him?"
Peter shook his head and sighed. "I really don't know, El. We didn't have much time to talk, but he refused to tell me more about his family background. I really got to know so many details of his life and work in all these years. Man, I even knew his shoe size before I met him but could never find out anything personal. You know that I didn't even know his age." He looked down at the tabletop. "I don't know how to get along with him now. He's a young felon and there's a lot he has to stand in for, but he's also an abused child. And he's obviously not able to trust me. El I… I really failed last night. He looked so upset and so … alone. I shouldn't have left him so early."
El took his hands gently in hers. "Peter, after all he went through it will take time. How could he trust you if there hadn't been a reliable grown up in his life until now? And I doubt there was one. You must earn his trust, step by step. Make sure he feels safe with you and respect his boundaries for now. You did that last night. He needed time to recover and to sort out what happened. I'm sure he appreciated that, and you made sure that he's well aware of how much you care. That's enough, honey, it really is."
Peter looked at her, his gaze full of love and affection. He sighed again. "But El, you have to remember, he's a criminal after all. And I have to treat him like one. He's charged with serious crimes, a lot of them unsolved and many people are keen on his testimony and further information. They don't care how he is being treated, not at all. His current attitude doesn't help him at all. I can't even make sense of why he surrendered volantary. I'm almost certain he won't give me what I want... what I need to help him and he will be in Juvie as soon as he's released from the hospital."
El shook his head with an horrified expression on her face. "No Peter. You won't allow that. You can't. He went through hell and you want to send him back to it? After all you've told me he'll perish. Tell me you'll find another opportunity. If there's no other possibility, bring him home! I'll take care of him."
He threw her a guilty glance. "You know it's not that easy, baby. I can't just bring him home with me, the agency would never allow that. I just can't promise that he won't go to juvie. I really can't!" he said and looked down again.
After a short stop in his office, Peter drove towards the hospital again. He had some sweets for the boy with him. When he entered the infirmaries' hallway, he felt a tight lump in his throat. A middle-aged, tired looking officer sat in front of Neal's room and Peter greeted him briefly, but before he could enter the room, Dr. Sheppard arrived.
"Agent Burke, do you have a minute for me?"
"Of course, is anything wrong?", he asked, suddenly very worried.
She looked him in the eyes. "I got Neal's x-rays and his results from the blood sample now. As I suspected, he has four broken ribs and additionally a broken kneecap and a crack in his temple boil. He'll get a splint for his knee, as soon as he is able – or allowed", he threw him a disapproving glance, "to stand up again. We can't really treat the other fractures, but he already got pain medication and a bandage with ointment for his chest. His fever has dropped and fortunately it isn't pneumonia, but a very nasty bronchitis. His body has nothing to oppose, agent burke. His blood sample showed terrible values, he has severe deficiency symptoms. That's why I wanted to talk to you. Neal refuses to eat. But he has to. His body has a lot to cope with and that's not possible while he's so malnourished. You have to convince him!"
Peter looked at her, bewildered. "I will. But Dr. Sheppard, he ate yesterday when he was with me, before we came here. Why do you think he refuses to eat now?".
The young doctor sighed. "I can't tell, but I can guess. The nurse told me that he found him covered in sweat and shouting after someone when he came in his room last night and he could barely soothe him. And… my assumption had been confirmed. We found several bones in his body which had been broken and healed badly. I think we crossed a line yesterday and he has to deal with the consequences now. And one last but important thing, Agent Burke, although I would like to, I can't keep him in hospital for long. He's definitely in a bad condition, but that won't be enough to justify a long stay. We can't actually do much for him in here. So please, make sure he has a place to recover after he will be released from hospital. He needs care and more important time to convalesce, unlike you want him to develop pneumonia though. I guess he can stay here until tomorrow, but not longer."
Peter nodded and didn't know what to say. He felt he couldn't tell her that juvie seemed to be the only option available right now. She waved him goodbye and hurried away. Peter couldn't move for a short while, but then took a deep breath and finally entered Neal's room.
"Hey buddy, I…", he began, but then looked horrified at the empty bed in front of him, the handcuffs dangling from the bed rail. He looked around and felt panic rising up his throat. He crossed the room hastily and looked out of the window. It was slightly open, but there was nothing to climb down and they were on the second floor.
He couldn't have jumped, could he?, he thought in horror.
He ran back to talk to the guard outside, but then noticed a sound coming from the bathroom. The door opened and Neal came out in his hospital gown, limping but clearly in a far better mood than yesterday. He nearly bumped into Peter and stumbled back, smiling innocently.
"Whoa, Peter. Didn't hear you come."
Peter looked at him, perplexed and furious. He took a deep breath and pointed to his left. "Go back in bed.", he said, his voice trembling a little.
Neal raised his hands to ease him, his eyes were suddenly wide in surprise and he quietly obeyed without another word. He didn't even try to hide his bad knee now while walking and looked at Peter with his innocent blue eyes.
"What's wrong, Peter?", he asked him, clearly aware of what he had done.
"Oh Neal, this isn't a game. You're under arrest and you have to follow my rules. It's necessary, for your own safety. How did you do that?", he said, looking at the cuffs and trying to calm down a little.
"Professional secrecy.", Neal said with his well-known cockiness.
Peter groaned annoyed and took the handcuffs. The boy willingly held out his wrist. "I'll use another one on the other side if this doesn't work out, understand?", he said sternly. "You obviously don't know what's good for you. I AM good for you, kid. But only if you start to follow my rules." He couldn't make sense of this boy. How could someone change from a frightened little boy in a shrewd conman in less than a few hours? After all that happened yesterday, he couldn't believe this. "Neal, I have to make sure that you are safe. I'm almost certain that you were about to run. That won't happen, do you understand? You have to stop running, it's all over now. Your past will catch up, no matter where you go. And believe me, I'll always find you!"
At least the kid was looking a little guilty now. "I didn't intent to run Peter, I swear. Not at all. I just had to use the toilet and I really wasn't keen on calling the pretty nurse with the bedpan, you know. I won't remove them again. I promise.", he said softly.
Peter felt his anger slowly decrease. "Prove it!", he said.
Neal looked at him in confusion. "How?"
"Tell me how you did it.", Peter raised his eyebrows expectantly.
The kid looked him in the eyes and hesitated. His expression reflected his mixed emotions, he certainly wanted to please Peter, but also wanted to hold back his secret. After a few silent seconds, Neal shrugged and slowly pulled out a little bobby pin from under his blanket.
"The pretty nurse I told you about … lost it when she came in with my breakfast.", he told him matter-of-factly.
"I see, she lost it, huh?", Peter said and held out his hand. Neal took a deep breath and offered him his tool. "Pretty impressive!", he had to admit.
Neal shrugged again. Probably not a big deal for a young con with his skills, I should have known better!, Peter thought. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to the boy.
"Ok, let's say this topic is done. Just… don't do it again! All right?". The boy nodded
He paused and braced himself for what he had to say next. "Buddy… why did you refuse to eat this morning?".
Neal avoided his eyes and stared at the blanket now, his cockiness suddenly vanished. "Don't know, I just wasn't hungry. Peter…I know what the doctor told you, but I really don't want to talk about it. I just don't! It's ok, I'll get along. I know I had to let them do all this examinations, but I didn't want them to. It's my past... my issue. Like I said, I can take care of myself!". He threw him a repellent glance.
And Peter could see the small, helpless and desperate boy he had to face the night before. But this time Neal managed to keep on his mask. He finally smiled at him. "I feel a lot better now. And I know, I haven't been much of a help until now, sooo, Agent Burke, why don't we go back to your office and I'll start answering your questions. I promise I'll do what I can to satisfy you guys!", his voice sounded very professional again.
Peter rubbed his temples, but thinking of his wife's words, he knew that he had to accept the boy's lack of trust, for now. "Won't happen, kid. You're obviously not in the constitution to go anywhere. You have to rest! And you have to eat." He pulled the sweets out of his jacket. "I suppose these aren't the essentials you need right now but try some anyway! And please promise to eat whatever they serve for lunch and dinner."
Neal looked at the sugary mix incredulous, as if Peter offered him a valuable treasure. "For me? Thank you, Peter! I haven't had sweets for ages.", now he appeared like a little boy again, but like a happy one. Peter smiled satisfied. Neal opened the bag with his free hand and tried some of the small marshmallows inside with huge enthusiasm.
"Didn't you have the opportunity to buy sweets lately?", he asked gingerly.
Neal stopped eating and frowned for a split second. "Told you, I've had a lot to do.", he avoided Peter's gaze again.
Peter sighed. "All right, just tell me when you're ready talk. IF you'll ever be."
Neal smiled again and threw him a sideway glance. "Will do!".
After that they both stayed quiet for a few minutes. After a short while, Neal broke the silence. "Peter…what will happen now. I mean … with me? I suppose I can't stay here forever, and you won't let me go back in that cosy interrogation room of yours. So… what comes next?", he asked, trying to sound very self-confident, but couldn't hide his anxiety after all.
Peter felt uneasy, but decided to tell him the truth. The boy deserved his honesty if he ever wanted him to trust. "Before we go on, you'll need time to recover. Well buddy… you're a young felon and… you're under arrest. So, there's no other way, I'll pick you up tomorrow and you'll spend some days in juvie."
The boy's face went pale and he looked horrified. Peter quickly added: "I'll make sure that you'll be kept in solitary confinement. And I'll visit you as soon as you feel better and we can go on with the questioning." This evidently did nothing to soothe the boy, his eyes widened in even greater shock.
It took the kid some time to realize the whole truth, then he brought out faltering: "Peter… do you really think that juvie is a nice place to recover? I can tell you, it's not. Not at all. Please… don't you have a holding cell or something like that in your headquarter? I'll do whatever necessary, answer any possible question as best as I can, but please don't send me to juvie!", he begged desperately.
Peter felt a little taken aback. He hadn't suspected such a strong reaction and his expression softened. "Like I told you, Neal. I'll help you whenever it is possible, as long as you are willing to work with us. But you're a criminal. It's not up to me, you have to pay for what you did and there's no other possibility than juvie right now. But like I told you, you're still young and there's plenty of time to change your life. You just need to try hard. But I really think that you're able to change your life, kid! Leave your past behind!".
Neal stared at his blanket and didn't answer. After that he remained quiet and refused to talk. When Peter left the hospital, he had a bad feeling in his gut. He though about El's words. A boy like him, who suffered in hell, shouldn't be send back willingly. And he somehow felt she was right. He sighed and made his way back to the office.
After Peter left, Neal was about to suffocate. His whole body felt numb and had to focus to avoid freaking out. He couldn't go to juvie. It wasn't possible. He had to save Mozzie, nothing else mattered. He didn't know what to do exactly, but he knew that juvie wasn't an opportunity. Not at all. So, he had to do it on his own somehow, he had to work something out.
Suddenly his door opened, and the pretty nurse came in.
"Hey Neal, I've got your lunch. Please don't leave it untouched this time, you have to eat properly, you know? You're far to skinny!"
He managed a wide and hopefully convincing Caffrey smile. "Don't worry, Dana, I will. Thanks!". She looked pleased and left his room, waving back delighted.
Neal's smile dropped, but he felt his strength return and pulled out another bobby pin. He began to remove the handcuffs again with deliberate movements. Fortunately, Peter didn't search him. But on the other hand, there were many other possibilities in this room to get rid of these things, the mechanism was laughable .
He felt a little guilty, because he couldn't do what he promised to Peter, but he had no choice. After he finished, he slipped out of bed and limped towards the bathroom again. He didn't lie when he told Peter that he had no intention to run, not before he told him that he had to go to juvie. But he wasn't in need of the toilet, either.
When the doctor told him to take off his clothes yesterday, he managed to hide the key card in his shoe. And after a short search in the morning, he found his stuff, stored in a white plastic bag, in the bathroom.
When Peter entered the room, he had to hide it again, but it worked out well and Peter didn't even glanced inside the bathroom. Neal pulled out the card and looked at it. He hated to betray Peter, but didn't need his help, either. Mozzie was family, Peter wasn't and would never be. Neal couldn't just leave his old life behind, he had no other option but to go on and Peter wasn't able to stop him. He remained an Agent and could never understand what Neal was going through.
Neal took his ugly clothes and started to get dressed. After that, he covered his body in the hospital gown again, do hide his clothes and went back to bed. He put on the handcuffs again and tried to rest a little, the disgusting food still untouched. He planned to run as soon as the night began.
