Warning: more gore than usual.


When a zombie seizes a victim, it has a couple of options. It either begins tearing off pieces of flesh immediately, or it pounds the victim against the nearest hard surface to crack the skull and get to the brain. This was the method the current zombie was using, though it hadn't figured out yet that water wasn't hard enough to get the job done.

It lifted Billy up and slammed him down, watched the little boy struggle, then did it again, water going up with a great crash.

Doris shrieked, "Help! Help!" Her thin voice blew away on the wind.

Roxanne ran toward the kids, shouting at Hal over her shoulder. "Go to the Lair! Get help!"

She shouted for help, too, but like Doris's, her voice was shredded by the wind. She could just see the edge of the Lair's roof from here, behind other buildings, and there wasn't a brainbot in sight.

The children were standing around in shock. She grabbed two of the older teens and gave them a hard shake. "Go get help!" she shouted in their stunned faces. They backed up and ran.

Doris snatched up a piece of driftwood and splashed into the lake.

"Doris, come back!" Roxanne shouted. "That's not going to do any good!" The old woman ignored her and kept plowing ahead into the waves.

Roxanne wanted something more solid than a dried out stick. She snatched up a piece of cement from the crumbling wall, a little bigger than her fist and with a good, hard corner on it.

Hal, she could see at a glance, hadn't moved, except to get further away from the water. A surge of anger went through her but she wasn't wasting any more time on him. The kids would sound the alarm.

One of the older boys ran into the lake. Billy's older brother Keshawn, she thought, about fourteen years old. He took his grandma's sleeve and tried to pull her back, but she jerked away and struggled on, her face set with determination.

Roxanne ground her teeth and splashed past them. She would reach Billy and the zombie first. She yelped as something thin snagged at her ankle, but it was thin and wiry, it must be the fishing line.

The zombie realized that it wasn't getting any results and was lurching toward shore, dragging Billy under the water. The boy's struggles grew wilder as he tried to get free, tried to find air.

Fighting panic, she waded deeper and to the side to keep out of the zombie's reach and so she wouldn't get kicked by Billy's thrashing legs. Waves dragged at her thighs, then her waist. The zombie held the boy in its right hand. She could see the shirt bunched in its fist. If she attacked from that side, if it continued to ignore her, if she could hit it hard enough, if it didn't grab her... That was a lot of 'ifs'.

The zombie headed for the beach, intent on finding solid ground, water getting pushed ahead of its massive torso. He had been a big man in life, with shoulders wider than Minion's, and still wore the remains of red striped pajamas. A gold earring stud winked as it caught the sun.

Its face was a ruin, with only one eye and no nose. The other eye socket glistened pinkly, the holes in its face were gaping pits.

The zombie began to turn toward her.

Keshawn shouted, "Hey, hey! Over here!" and waved his arms.

The zombie's remaining eye rolled toward the older boy. For the moment its attention was focused on Keshawn and Doris, who kept struggling toward them with her little stick.

Roxanne splashed up, almost getting kicked by Billy, but his struggles were weaker. His mouth opened and closed, his face distorted under the water. For a split second she didn't know if she should try to hold his head up or attack the zombie, then she made her decision. Killing the zombie would take care of both. Two birds, one stone, the thought flitted through her mind.

Choking as the zombie's stench washed over her, she grabbed the ripped pajama collar to steady herself and smashed it in the temple with the cement chunk.

Again! Again! And again! Making good use of the corner. Again!

Hitting the exact same place over and over again is difficult, as any lumberjack could affirm, but Roxanne landed some good blows on roughly the same spot, and she was rewarded with the sickening crack of bone. A few more hits, she'd be hitting brain and the zombie would finally die.

The zombie reached over its shoulder and grabbed her descending wrist. It dragged her around front.

Fuckfuckfuck.

Doris attacked, breaking the stick over its head. She kept hitting it with the stub. "You stop that right now!" she screamed.

Keshawn, who didn't have any type of weapon, tried to get his brother's head up. The zombie pulled Billy against itself in a 'no, you can't have my food' gesture that was almost childish. At least Billy's face was above water now, but his eyes were closed and his head lolled. Roxanne couldn't tell if he was breathing or not.

Roxanne, her wrist in the zombie's grip, managed to transfer the cement chunk to her free hand. Panting with effort, she got in one good blow to its forehead.

It sank its teeth into the underside of her forearm. She screamed and lost her weapon. The zombie shook its head, trying to tear off a piece. Roxanne struck at the terrible face but she might as well have been hitting a side of beef.

Shadows flitted across the water. Brainbots bowg-ed and snapped. Someone landed next to her with a splash. Megamind.

He aimed at the side of the zombie's head with the de-gun held in both hands, focusing on the target.

The zombie shook her again. Pain lanced through her arm and shot up her elbow. She screamed again. The landscape wobbled.

"Shoot it! What are you waiting for?" Doris screamed.

Because of the zombie's movements Roxanne suspected Megamind didn't have a clear shot. He has to get it right or he might end up shooting my arm off so don't distract him, goddamn it! Roxanne wanted to yell at her but she was in too much pain.

It could only have been a couple of seconds for Megamind to see an opening, but it felt like forever. The zombie paused its frenzied movements. Megamind fired. She shut her eyes against the red droplets and pieces of skull. The teeth in her arm let go as the huge body sank into the waves.

Megamind put an arm around her but he addressed his words to Keshawn, who was holding Billy's limp form.

"Let the brainbots take him," Megamind said. "They'll get him to shore faster."

"I can't," Keshawn said hoarsely. "Tangled up."

The fishing line had insidiously looped itself around Keshawn, Billy, Doris, and the zombie, as well as Roxanne's ankle. Megamind took a jackknife from some hidden pocket and dove under to cut the line away.

She cradled her bleeding arm. Gray brain matter bobbed on the bloody water. Her stomach churned. There was a brief tug at her leg, and then Megamind waded over to free the others.

Her shivering grew more violent. Blood from her arm mingling with the water turned her blouse pink. Streaks of gray and red covered her shoulder. That's it for this blouse. I wonder if brains stain? she thought fuzzily, and her knees began to buckle. It was so fucking stupid, she was going to drown in waist-deep water because her stupid knees were giving out.

And then Megamind was there again, holding her up under her good shoulder.

"S-sorry," she stammered, teeth clattering together. She felt like she was letting down the team.

Megamind made a scoffing noise in his throat. "Are you kidding me? You're still conscious, which is better than I did yesterday. Let's get out of this zombie-infested water, shall we?"

The brainbots were carrying Billy in. Others swooped down to pick up Keshawn and Doris.

Megamind looked at Roxanne's arm. It was possible her shoulder was dislocated. The brainbots might have trouble picking her up without hurting her, as they were used to grabbing people under the arms. He should train some to use a stretcher. "It might hurt when I pick you up, but I'll try to..."

"W-w-walk," she said. The moment of weakness had passed and she had her pride. She didn't want to get carried in if she could help it. She began putting one foot in front of the other.

Megamind was by her side, warming her. He kept one arm around her waist and one hand under her uninjured elbow. "Okay. No problem. Getting shallower all the time. We'll see any zombies if they come lurching out of the depths, though I worry more about the zombies. What happens if you finish them all off? Won't leave any for me."

She felt a snort of amusement come out of her. "L-l-lucky for you. 'M here. Protect you."

"Ah, I knew I was in good hands. Honestly, Miss Ritchi, if I'm not careful you'll take over and put me out of work. There'll be a medal in this for you, wait and see."

Megamind's encouraging banter trailed off and he fell silent as they waded onto the shore.

A firefighter was performing CPR on Billy, surrounded at a respectful distance by the other refugees. He stopped to check his pulse, then began mouth to mouth resuscitation again. Doris had both hands clamped over her mouth to stifle her crying, a blanket around her shoulders. Keshawn curled up on the beach in an oversized beach towel, his head buried in his hands.

Dr. Plant reached out to Roxanne. "Can I have another blanket here?" she said in hushed tones. "Or a towel?"

One of the denizens brought over another towel. Roxanne stumbled past the crowd to the low retaining wall and sat down on it, shivering violently. Megamind backed away to give the doctor some room. Agnes and Pilar hovered nearby anxiously.

Billy was hidden behind a forest of legs. Everyone was deathly quiet, except for a few at the back talking in whispers.

Megamind paced to the lake's edge, his face grim. He murmured to the brainbots, and a few more swooped in, then more and more, lining up down the beach and disappearing around the bend to guard the entire shoreline.

The doctor turned her arm over gently. Several small gouges marked her forearm. There were scrapes where the zombie's teeth had torn as it fell. Her arm was swelling and the skin was darkening. "Some torn muscle. Bruising. A few of these could use a stitch or two," the doctor murmured. She called to the medic. "Julie?"

The medic came over with a kit and they began discussing stitches versus butterfly bandaids which could be enough to close some of the wounds.

There was a sudden gagging noise and the sound of someone being very sick. Relieved exclamations and sighs broke out. Billy was alive. Amazingly, at least to Roxanne, he asked for his fishing rod.

Tears ran down her cheeks and she wiped them with the heel of her hand.

Pilar was crying, too. "He made it, Roxanne," she sniffed, crouching by her and patting her knee.

"A little more room please," Dr. Plant said with strained patience. "Unless all of you would like stitches?"

Roxanne said, "Minion said he'd found some medical supplies. Maybe anesthetics, too." They decided that waiting for Minion to come back wouldn't harm anything, as long as he came back soon. Dr. Plant examined her elbow and shoulder, declaring them sore but in the right places. The medic sprayed the bite marks with antiseptic, covered her arm with soft padding, and secured it with tape.

Megamind had been hovering, waiting for them to get done so he could sit next to her. "That was incredibly brave."

"Guess it thought I'd be a bigger meal," she said, pushing her damp hair off her forehead.

He put his hand on her back. "Billy could have died, maybe Keshawn, too. Doris, definitely. Her and that little stick." He shook his head. "Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't charged?"

His eyes moved over her face. "You've got bits of... er... you know. Bits on you." He took an edge of his damp cape and wiped her cheek.

"Zombie bits," she murmured.

He smiled ruefully. "Yeah." He rubbed at her face and hair a little more. "Not coming out of your hair very well." Gingerly he plucked a piece of something out of her hair that she didn't want to look at, and flicked it away.

She groaned, "Uccgh. Yuck. Can you hold me for a little while?"

"Oh! Oh, of course." He put his arm around her waist and lay his head against her.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm kind of gross."

"Heh. The mess is mostly on the other side anyway."

Someone shouted, "There's another one!"

Guns crackled and laser rifles flashed as several people opened fire into the lake. The zombie didn't stand a chance.

It was easy to tell who the newly rehydrated citizens were. They were the ones who gasped and shrank back from the water.

The Lair denizens, on the other hand, looked alert but unfazed. They milled up and down the shore, scanning the waves for more zombies, letting the ones with the guns and laser rifles get to the front. One man waded in to collect Billy's fishing rod after a quick look around and gave it back to him, who was sitting up now.

Brainbots carried in both zombies, setting the big one a little too close to Roxanne for her comfort. It didn't have much of a head left. She felt her body tense up.

Megamind didn't state the obvious and assure her it was dead, or tell her she was being silly. He gave her a gentle squeeze, then stood up and dehydrated the zombies, and had a brainbot take them away.

He looked up and down the shore, frowning. His eyes softened when they met hers again. "Roxanne, I... I have to go."

"I know. Foreheads?"

He understood, of course, and leaned over to put his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and cupping her chin, stroking her cheek with his thumb. He still wasn't wearing any gloves, and she was glad for that. A shuddering breath ran through him. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes. She stuck her too-cold hand out of the towel and touched his cheek. He clasped it, turning his mouth into her palm and kissing it.

Then he was gone, hurrying away to deal with the threat. He went down the beach, calling for volunteers for search parties.

One of the recently rehydrated newcomers chose that moment to approach one of the cops and demand to be returned to their home. Roxanne rubbed her temples as the argument escalated. Maybe Megamind should dehydrate them all again.

A gun went off, making her jump. Someone had shot into the sky.

"Hey!" Megamind roared. He strode through the crowd. People scrambled to get out of his way. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Just vultures," the unlucky man stammered. "Stupid vultures. They're disgusting."

"They're innocent birds," Megamind snapped. He glared at the denizens. "They're only doing what comes naturally. None of this is their fault. I better not catch anybody shooting at vultures or any other birds again."

He looked at the vultures drifting in circles overhead. "They're almost right over us. Something else may be dead on the peninsula besides the zombies we just finished off. We need to sweep the entire safe zone." He went into a huddle with the firefighters and police officers to discuss tactics.

Doris came over to thank Roxanne and pat her on the hand. She wore several rings and the vigorous patting made Roxanne's hand feel bruised but the old woman was so overcome with emotion that Roxanne had to grin and bear it.

"You're such a good girl," Doris said, her glasses fogging up and her thin mouth quivering. She wagged her finger. "It doesn't matter what anyone says. Don't you listen to them."

"Er. Okay. I won't," Roxanne said.

Doris gave her knuckles another hearty whack before shepherding her grandchildren back to the Lair. Billy held his fishing rod close. A few other denizens headed back to the Lair as well, while others, Roxanne was happy to see, took it upon themselves to talk with the new people and explain how dangerous the city had become.

Roxanne turned to Agnes. "Sooo, just out of curiosity, what am I supposed to be not listening to?"

Agnes grimaced. "Oh, you know how people talk. Just gossip."

"My shacking up with Megamind?"

"Just Britney and a couple others, and who cares what they think?" Agnes flapped her hand, dismissing Britney and her friends to oblivion where they belonged. "Pilar told her off, told her she was just jealous that she wasn't in your shoes." Agnes laughed. "She sure didn't like that!"

Roxanne watched the waves lapping the shore, and wondered how many more zombies were shuffling around in the depths. Soon she ought to get some dry clothes, but the effort of finding dry underwear was too much to contemplate at the moment. She wished she could go back to her apartment and get her clothes. She didn't think it was all that far away, only a few minutes by car, but who knew what shape the streets were in? And the elevators were out. She wondered how high the hovercraft could fly.

Keeping the safe zone zombie-free was more important than commandeering a hovercraft to get her things. She was willing to bet Megamind would bring her on the hoverbike, if she asked. She sighed. Maybe later.

Pilar had volunteered to help search. Agnes sat with her to keep her company. The police officers were calling out instructions to the groups.

The rush of adrenaline gone, she felt drained. She lifted the edge of the towel to look at the bandage. The image of the zombie's ruined face floated before her mind's eye, but she felt nothing. Even the memory of its teeth produced no response in her, as if it had happened to someone else. She knew it'd hit her later, how she almost became a piece of meat.

There was a movement out of the corner of her eye. Hal walked toward her, radiating indignation, a sullen look on his face.

She stiffened. She should get up and walk away, maybe stand next to Megamind. Hal wouldn't dare approach her.

Her hands bunched into fists. She'd just gone toe to toe with a zombie, she wasn't going to run away from Hal and go hide behind her boyfriend, damn it.

Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, she looked Hal in the eye. "What do you want?" she demanded when he got close enough.

His steps faltered and he slowed to a stop, put off by her challenge, but he rallied. "So you're all lovey-dovey with him now, huh? I saw you together," he said accusingly. "Everybody saw."

She almost laughed. Seriously? Does he think I should be ashamed? "That's none of your business."

"But, like, he's not even human. What are you, sick? I mean, I'm not gonna judge you or anything, but I don't get why you won't put in a good word for me. It's like, what are you, too good for your old friends?"

"You have a problem with Megamind, and yet, you just can't wait to get back into his Lair." Roxanne scoffed. "But that's where all the girls are, right?"

Agnes looked back and forth between the two of them. She hadn't met Hal, and was taken aback by this sudden confrontation.

Hal came closer, so Roxanne had to look up. "I wasn't hurting anybody! You're just stuck-up. You should talk. What about those kidnappings, huh? Those even real? Or maybe you like sick games. How long you been screwing him?"

"Don't talk to me any more," Roxanne said, and stood up to leave.

"Hey, why can't you..." Hal grabbed her arm.

The pain was intense. She shrieked. Hal let go immediately and stepped back, the ugly look on his face turning to fear.

Agnes shouted, "What the hell's wrong with you?"

Roxanne cradled her throbbing arm and cursed long and loud.

Hal shrank back a little further, hands raised. "Hey, I didn't know. I didn't know you were hurt."

"You must have seen it bite me," Roxanne said. Her voice was more shrill than she would have liked, but she carried on, venting her anger and frustration. "You were standing right there. You could have at least gone for help. Or even taken the kids away so they didn't have to watch a little boy get attacked. You just stood there. You..."

Hal's eyes were wide and terrified, but he wasn't looking at her. He scuttled back, covered his head, and screamed, "Not the face! Not the face!"

Megamind shot past Roxanne in a blur of black and landed on Hal. Two sharp blows came in quick succession, one to the torso, one to the jaw. Hal landed in the dirt.

"Don't!" Roxanne cried. Megamind looked like he was going to kill him.

Hal curled up into a ball, whimpering. Megamind stood over him with raised fists, trembling as if he would like to continue, but then he lowered his hands and walked back to Roxanne. "He hurt you?"

She exhaled, not even realizing she'd been holding her breath, and shook her head. "Grabbed my arm. Honestly, I don't think he meant to." She stopped. Hal hadn't meant to what? Hadn't meant to make her scream, certainly, or draw attention to himself.

Megamind cocked his head. "But he laid hands on you. That wasn't an accident." In his expression there was a sort of veiled wrath, ready to be unleashed. She only had to say the word.

Her mouth went dry, thinking about alligators snapping and lunging. "No. Don't do it. He is not worth it," she said. "He really isn't."

Megamind's eyes searched her face. Some of the fierceness left him and the corner of his mouth twitched up into a faint smile. "As you wish."

She huffed out a little laugh. "Oh, do you?"

"Do I what?" He glanced around uncertainly.

She rubbed her face. "Um. It's just...you see... 'As you wish' is from this movie, The Princess Bride. It's nothing. Uh, maybe you could do something about that?"

She nodded in Hal's direction. Several people had drifted over to Hal, who'd gone quiet, his eyes darting around when he realized he was surrounded.

The predatory expressions on their faces chilled her. Even Hank the cop had joined the blossoming mob. Even Luke, jovial, dopey Luke, wore an expectant grin. Tony jabbed Hal with his cane, making him yelp.

"Back off," Megamind said, striding toward them. "Let him be."

They backed away a little and some of the sinister atmosphere dissipated as Megamind talked to Hal. "We'll be conducting a sweep of the entire area for zombies, including your place, wherever it is. If you see anything suspicious, tell someone, unless you'd like zombies knocking on your door. Other than that, you make damn sure to stay out of my sight."

Hal climbed slowly to his feet. "What about my stuff? You're not gonna take my stuff, are you?"

Megamind's lip twitched and his hands clenched into fists again.

Roxanne closed her eyes. Maybe Hal really was too stupid to live.

Megamind took a deep breath and regained control. "I'm not interested in your stuff," he said in a very cold voice. "The important thing to take away here is to stay out of my sight or I'll kick your ass."

Hal finally seemed to realize his life might possibly be hanging by a thread. With a last frightened look at the almost-mob, he scuttled away.

Tony and Luke began to stroll after him, casual-like.

"Get back here. Leave him alone," Megamind snapped. "We have bigger things to worry about."


My beta reader ViridianVenus asked if Roxanne is now infected. In this 'verse, everyone is infected with a dormant virus that doesn't kill, it only turns people into zombies after they die from other causes. Roxanne will have to watch out for infection from the more mundane problems of whatever lurks in a dead human's mouth. But now that ViridianVenus has raised the question, I realize now that this is something that the newly rehydrated citizens are completely unaware of. They'll probably have an issue with Roxanne walking freely among them! At least until someone explains the situation. (The first zombie outbreak in the country was caused by a deadly strain that kills victims outright, but it's been modified.)

Another issue that springs to mind: is the dormant virus the only one in Metro City? How do we know the original virus isn't also running rampant? *sigh* I wish I'd thought of that earlier...

The line "As you wish" from The Princess Bride probably needs no explanation, but just in case you haven't seen the movie, whenever Westley says "As you wish" to Buttercup, what he's really saying is "I love you."