Neither anger nor adrenaline could keep Kaname on his feet for long.

The pain in his head was excruciating. Defending himself had taken huge amounts of energy and the hallway was swirling in front of his eyes because of it. His brain felt like it was about to explode it was so stuffed full but his body felt as drained as if all of his blood had been stolen.

It was not a good combination.

Hindsight saw furthest, and Kaname knew he'd taken too much from Haruka. The weight of those memories was suffocating. He'd taken everything he could reach instead of only what he needed. A quick smash and grab rather than a planned extraction – but he'd had to take the opportunity immediately, even if that meant overloading. He refused to regret it despite his slight discomfort. Something was better than nothing.

He stumbled on to the rhythm of the pounding of his head. He could not collapse here. It was too exposed.

The migraine only grew worse as he turned the next few corners. Where was he? Brain damage took an obnoxiously long time before Kaname could just shrug it off and it'd only be worse since the damage came from another pureblood. He didn't recognise this corridor. He leant against the wall for a brief rest, the cool plaster a balm. Red dripped, staining the white paint.

Fucking Haruka, Kaname cursed. He was bleeding. He could smell his blood - which meant so could everyone else. Moreover, to them it would smell like the Elixir of Life not just faintly metallic. He was walking bait; talk about embarrassing. His third childhood had been nothing but a string of embarrassments one after the other. If he had a nosebleed then he was probably bleeding from eyes and ears too – Haruka hadn't been gentle and Kaname's system was massively overstrained.

Moreover, there was nothing he could do about it, Kaname seethed, vision blurring into a spiral of red carpet, dark wood and gold-framed paintings. He felt like he was about to actually throw up like a human and worse he could barely coordinate his feet. He wasn't going anywhere like this, but he had to hide until he could defend himself again. If Haruka came back… if he wanted to check…

"Young Master!"

How pitiful was it, Kaname thought with a toxic mix of relief and bitterness, that he'd been reduced to relying on a 'C for protection. Nancy hadn't tried to bite him yet but she'd never had a chance like this and probably never would again, and she'd be an idiot not to realise that.

Yet it was still relief he felt when she swept him up into her familiar embrace, sparing him from having to put one more foot in front of the other. Her scent soothed the drumbeat inside his mind and he instinctively buried his head into her neck as she held him, the whole world spinning crazily out of control.

"Kaname-sama, you're bleeding! What on earth –'

Her voice was too loud. It grated on his sensitive hearing and made the pain in his head spike sharply with every syllable. He tried to tell her to be quiet, wincing, but the words wouldn't come. Up was blue, down was soft, words were aromatic and Kaname could understand nothing outside of his frantic disjointed thoughts. He really, really hated brain damage.

He was weak, vulnerable, bleeding in shark infested waters and seconds away from an undignified faint.

There really was only one thing to do.

It was too easy, but wasn't that always the point?

Nancy hesitated, Kaname-sama was bleeding but he hadn't been attacked. There were no bite marks or open wounds that she could see. Instead, he was bleeding from his nose, eyes and ears.

Something was wrong inside.

She baulked at the sight, trying to think it through instead of panicking but purebloods didn't get sick like that. They didn't have seizures, aneurysms or anything else that she could think of that resembled this. Not without Hunter weapons being involved.

What did she do?

Should she seek out the Mistress? Juuri-sama would execute her for this failure, but it was her only idea. Kaname-sama was bleeding on her watch after all, it would be perfectly justified, and Nancy was already feeling guilty for leaving. She was too busy to stand outside the door and wait for them…but now Kaname-sama was paying for it. She should track Juuri-sama's aura and hand Kaname-sama over to someone far more qualified to deal with it and patiently wait for her punishment.

Now where was – PROTECT ME.

Nancy blinked.

Of course. Purebloods healed fast. There was no need to bother Haruka or Juuri. If the pair was not already descending as wrathful as a biblical plague on the poor hapless 'C, then they were not going to and there was no need to cause such a fuss. Or draw their attention. Why risk it?

No, she should get Kaname-sama cleaned up and put him to bed. He'd sleep better in his own room, and that would help keep this incident as quite as possible. Starting a panic wouldn't help Kaname-sama. He needed peace and quiet. He was probably already healing from whatever it was.

Decided, Nancy turned and headed towards the nursery, just like normal. All he needed was energy and sleep, both of which she could facilitate best without a dozen other vampires fretting about.

Now, where were the guards at this hour? There wasn't much blood, but it was unique, and their species had evolved for millennia to track it. They were rather good at that by now. The smear on the wall would dry soon, but it was blatantly obvious what it was, and Kaname-sama was leaking more. It was a trail as obvious as could be for the guards, and they were duty bound to follow up on any shedding of pure blood.

The first patrol ought to be on the grounds, the second was scheduled for the dairy right about now but the third and fourth operated on a random pattern.

She had time, but not much. Why was she trying to avoid the guards? Nancy wondered as she made her way back to the nursery, they were just doing their jobs. In fact, she probably ought to report this first - PROTECT ME.

The corridor was looking awfully shady all of a sudden. Anybody could hide down there, and the guards could arrest her before she got Kaname-sama sequestered safely in bed. Well, that was hardly proper now was it? The little lord needed his sleep. Best to avoid them and explain it all later. Much later. In fact, they didn't really need to know did they? No need to cause such a palaver.

Thank the night that Kaname-sama had introduced her to the hidden network of passages. Nancy trotted along the Rose Corridor, a wide stone hallway that had an entire wall of floor to ceiling glass with an excellent view over the extensive and famous rose gardens. Then she ducked around the base of one of the towers, which led to an old workshop of some sort – she never had the time to explore properly. She whisked past the portrait gallery – small, since each generation lasted a few thousand years - until she was in the old armoury, still boasting a proud collection of enchanted medieval weaponry, with helpful little of plaques of who had wielded what in what battle and how many they'd killed.

She pulled the shaft of a rather brittle looking spear (Heilige Lanze: 11000 AK, CK:1)

Silently, the hidden door swung open, and Nancy stepped through into a vaguely red-lit passage about two feet wide.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Nancy knew she'd made a mistake.

In the narrow air of the tunnel, the ambrosia of Kaname-sama's blood intensified a thousand times. Stars above but it smelt incredible. Nancy tried to ignore it, really, she did try, but it smelt so good.

It would be so easy too. Kaname-sama was unconscious. She could just lick it up, that would save her having to burn the clothes he was in wouldn't it? She wouldn't hurt him; she'd be doing him in a favour. He was already asleep – it wasn't like he'd feel anything would he? He probably wouldn't even notice.

She was so thirsty.

Her throat felt like it was on fire. Waves of sheer aching need consumed her. Every breath brought a fresh wave of heavenly intoxicating desire. Her fangs lengthened unconsciously – she only noticed when they cut into her own lip - bringing the distinctly unsatisfying bland metallic taste of her own blood instead of that gorgeous temptation.

Eyes glowing blood red, fangs unnaturally white and razor sharp, Nancy bent her head to the sleeping babe.

Just a tiny – PROTECT ME.

Nancy blinked. Huh. She was staring at Kaname-sama. Fresh blood trickled from his ear and nose, staining his tiny shirt. It was a deep, very pleasant shade of red, but all Nancy could do was sigh at the loss of yet another shirt. Burning silk smelt awful too. She'd complain that she didn't get paid enough for this – but she did.

They reached the nursery in no time, and Nancy didn't waste time before easing her charge into a sink full of warm water and gently washing the blood away with handfuls of warm water. No fresh trails replaced it. Good. Still, it was a little unusual that he wasn't awake if he was healed. Normally he hated bath time; if nothing else, she expected that to wake him.

A screaming temper tantrum would be soothing right now actually; even if did mean she had to order a dozen new windows from the maintenance staff and had migraines for a week.

Perhaps she ought to ring for Juuri-sama? She'd know what was wrong and – PROTECT ME.

Nancy yawned, exhausted. It had been a busy day, and Kaname-sama was probably drawing energy from her to speed his healing. She needed to sleep. They both needed to sleep. Anything else could wait until sunset.

Placing the young master in his crib and tucking him in with his favourite cashmere blanket, Nancy started walking to her own room. She'd order a maid to clean the corridor, then sleep. She'd leave the door open just in case, but no one was getting in these rooms without raising a racket, she – PROTECT ME.

On the other hand, Nancy thought, walking back towards the crib in a daze. She shouldn't leave Kaname-sama unattended, just in case.

An hour passed in comforting silence. Nancy went to sit down by the crib her feet were – PROTECT ME.

It would take too long to get up again if she had to defend him. Her feet didn't hurt that much. She watched the toddler for another hour; he didn't even shuffle in his sleep.

She was so tired, just a quick nap – PROTECT ME.

A bit longer then. He might wake up any second and need her. Time passed and the shadows slowly lengthened.

It was time for breakfast. She'd call the kitchen to send something up – PROTECT ME.

Why take the risk of inviting any vampire near when Kaname-sama was in such a state. What had she been thinking? Nancy scolded herself. Her stomach wasn't rumbling, besides she'd eaten just, just, well, very recently. She wasn't hungry and she didn't need to call the kitchen.

Oh, Kaname-sama was adorable in his sleep. She could watch him forever. Nancy sighed, rubbing her forehead, as her headache grew bad enough to be painful.

Perhaps she ought to – PROTECT ME.

Nancy frowned, certain that she'd forgotten something, but oh, didn't Kaname-sama look adorable like that? Nancy smiled as her head throbbed.

She could watch over him forever.

Kaname awoke to a ravaged mindscape.

The outer shield was utterly obliterated. Not even tattered rags remained. The mental construct he'd created to impersonate his memories was shorn like a scythe through hay. Wisps of light glittered faintly around the torn edges like will o' the wisps.

Had that been his real mind, Haruka would have devastated him. The whole place was trying to shake itself apart his body was under so much strain.

A terrible feeling swept over him as Kaname tried to picture what could have happened, slowly spinning a web of possibilities forward in time a few years. As meticulous as ever, he plotted out his probable actions, the responses of the people he would have interacted with and the consequences that might have followed.

It did not paint a pretty picture.

It would have taken years at least for him to heal this mess into something functional.

The mind was tricky. Even with years of healing, there was almost no chance that he would have healed right. The brain was a brain – it was the connections between cells that formed memory and it was those that Haruka had targeted. Amnesia like that wasn't a disease or a wound- it was a natural state. A blank slate wasn't sick, just empty. There was every chance that his natural healing factor would have stopped there.

Empty was the best possible outcome he could have hoped for – and it had certainly been Haruka's intention. A 'real' son to mould as he wished rather than a disapproving ancestor he felt inferior to.

At worst, Kaname could have become a true psychopath, with his emotional centre ruined for as long as Haruka's power had held. A psychopath who would have inherited a huge financial empire that employed millions of people, also commanding enormous political influence in the human world and even more in the vampire one. A psychopath that could expect and demand the absolute obedience of every vampire who answered to him.

Healing wasn't perfect when left to chance. It would have been decades before he'd regained the control necessary to enter his mindscape and direct his own healing. So he'd have been a mess of memory and impulse for many, many years. Haruka's ire wasn't weak, his power would have lasted a long time.

That was a lot of 'ifs' and even if luck had been with him, Kaname knew the most likely outcome would still have left him with a Frankenstein'ed brain.

Poor memory, unable to distinction from past and present, trouble with emotions, difficulty sleeping, instinct and muscle memory all tangled…

Any single symptom would be absolutely devastating for a being as hunted as Kaname.

Memory made him what he was. Without it being in perfect working order, he was hideously vulnerable. It would have been easy to take advantage of him, unable to trust his own mind and instincts but burdened with enormous responsibility.

His personality would have been whatever he'd managed to weld together again and deeply scarred for the forging.

In short, he would have been exactly like what he remembered from his second childhood.

Kaname shut his eyes and tried to breathe.

He'd cursed himself a thousand times for missing all of the signs of impending war. He'd despised himself for letting Yuki be placed under such an oppressive seal, despised himself even more when he realised how obsessed he'd become with her and finally woken up and seen the true extent of the damage.

Yuki had had a split personality – at best. How had he allowed her to be raised with human morals? Hadn't he realised the conflict that would – and had – caused? She was a pureblood vampire, Yuki ought to have been fierce and independent. As strong as she was wise, highly intelligent, well read and very aware of the world around her. Instead she'd been a mess. Weak, stupid, well behind on her studies and so, so, human. She hadn't been able to survive in a world that treated her as prey as much as it revered her. Kaname had blamed himself for it. He had been responsible for how she was raised, and he had let her think her own species was repulsive.

Now he knew the truth.

It wasn't Kaname that hated himself. It was Haruka.

Even now Haruka's will echoed through Kaname's mindscape, poisoned with the orders he had wanted to enforce. The words became bright green weeds, growing like ivy through the ghost mind, digging thorns into his false memories and spreading, growing, and utterly parasitic.

Protect Yuki. Protect her innocence. Keep her safe. Forget the past. Seek peace. Deny your nature. To crave blood is wrong. Love the humans. Protect Yuki.

Was it any wonder, with those orders working as Kaname's mental foundation for everything, that Kaname had fallen so far? He'd been vulnerable. Haruka had caught him at a weak moment, and like every vampire in the history of time before him, he'd taken advantage as easily as breathing.

He'd made Kaname think sealing was a good idea, to such an extent that he'd never questioned it. He'd given Yuki to a hunter. A hunter, to raise as his own. He'd let Ichio use and abuse him thinking it would somehow keep Yuki safe. He'd tried to stop the seal breaking because he thought humans were better than vampires, that Yuki would be happier as a human. He'd hated himself so much for wanting her blood that he was suicidal. He'd ignored the politics going on around him, letting pureblood families fall one by one, let the Council gain so much power until he really was prey to them.

That had been the end.

Over a century of guilt and remorse later, Kaname learned that it wasn't even his fault.

There were no words.

He'd lost everything he cared about. He hadn't even had the autonomy to accept the responsibility for his mistakes in the first place. He'd been a slave – as enthralled to Haruka as Juuri yet was.

He'd been a victim.

There was an entire ocean of misplaced emotion that Kaname suddenly had to square away and he didn't like it one bit.

Kaname had been destroyed. All that he was; Thirteen thousand years of knowledge, experience and memories – they'd all been deleted for the sake of one arrogant toddler's ego. (Alright, three thousand was fairly respectable but he wasn't in the mood for making allowances.) For Haruka's pride, Kaname had become a ruin. Billions had died.

That one errant order to forget his past because Haruka had deemed it unimportant had doomed their race into repeating history.

Kaname's wrath was had always been awesome – in the traditional sense of the word – but it had never distracted him. He was too crafty for his rage to burn hot, fierce, and swift. No. Kaname's wrath was bitter cold. Glacial, inexorable and timeless; his ire was as ruthless as it was meticulous. He absorbed the facts with enforced calm, and set about plotting revenge with cool equanimity.

Haruka was a Problem; it would be Solved. In addition, the sky is blue and water is wet. Vengeance would be wreaked because Kaname had decided so. It was as good as done already.

In the mean time, there was work to be done.

This realm was a metaphysical representation of his physical mind and body. Since it was a wreck, he had some serious healing to do. Healing which couldn't be done whilst Haruka's memories – currently a big ball of spiky tangled, and misty red energy – were interrupting his normal brain signals and generally being as uncooperative as possible. Purebloods were sore losers.

Technically his subconscious mind usually ran his body, the same as in a human. You didn't need to think for cuts to heal or food to digest or to grow taller. As Kaname would heal faster if he directed the healing, he'd switched the subconscious and conscious about.

It was a good job his body was currently comatose; his subconscious was a nightmare to deal with.

Approaching the mass of stolen memories, Kaname drew upon a sliver of energy – brainwork required an extremely delicate touch – and got to work. He sliced a bit of mist away with the claw of his little finger and held it in his palm, examining. It was a memory of walking down a hall. Kaname dispersed the mist simply by waving his hand through it. Useless. Unable to hold itself together, the memory was reduced to a microscopic spark of energy, which Kaname naturally absorbed.

Waste not. Want not.

Kaname sliced off another fragment – Haruka at a computer – Kaname remembered the password Haruka used and dispersed the fragment.

And on it went. Kaname was patient and thorough, dispersing Haruka's venomous echo with quiet care. All the energy was absorbed; Kaname repurposed that energy to disperse more memories and the cycle repeated. All interesting information was retained and added to his real memory hiding below– passwords, gossip, affairs, conversations Haruka had had with anyone Kaname recognised – and the rest erased.

Was there anything useful here? Kaname began to wonder at the four hundredth fragment – yet another party and yet another starry-eyed girl. He didn't want to know Haruka's life of idle pleasures. He wanted an explanation. Kaname wanted to answers. If he had to subdue Haruka to do a full read, he would. In the mean time, shredding Haruka's memories was surprising therapeutic.

By the time the ball was half the size and density, Kaname was feeling a whole lot better. His immediate desire for revenge was sated and at half-strength and half-mass, his physical body was able to cope with the stress Haruka's power was causing him. If he woke up he'd probably have a migraine so bad he was bed ridden, but at least he'd tipped over the threshold from spiralling into healing.

Naturally, that was when he found the crucial memory he'd been searching for in the first place.

"Have you made a decision yet, Juuri?"

The voice stopped Haruka cold in his tracks. That was their father speaking. Why had Juuri been summoned to Father's office? She hadn't told him that!

He had to know what they were talking about. If it was important enough that Juuri had been in here for the twenty minutes that she'd been missing from Haruka's sight, then he deserved to know. They didn't keep secrets from each other. Haruka was too clever to immediately supress his aura as they'd been taught. A sudden void would be too obvious to Father and Juuri that someone was listening. He had to be smarter than that. He filled his aura with a slow steady calmness. So cool and calm it was no different from the air around him

"You don't already know?" Juuri laughed softly and Haruka smiled to hear it. He didn't get to hear it often enough. "We haven't been subtle."

"Well you do have near another century to make a final decision. You need to be sure for the first child at least. Several centuries doesn't seem like very long, I know, but believe me the time will pass all too slowly if you dislike your partner."

Ah ha! Haruka grinned. They were talking about the upcoming marriage. Haruka couldn't wait to be married to Juuri. Or handfasted. Technically, it was a pledging, but Haruka liked to think of them as married. The humans had such a different understanding of bonding a woman to a man and Haruka preferred their version. Then Juuri would be his, all his. Till death do they part. He could be first and last.

"I'm sure. Rido and I have been together for over a century already. You can specify Haruka in the negotiations with the Hio's whenever you want. My mind is made up."

Haruka froze. He had to replay Juuri's words in his mind twice before he realised there was no other meaning.

Juuri wanted to belong to Rido? She'd been fucking Rido? For a century? But, but but! This couldn't be happening! Haruka would know! This was all wrong. Juuri should be marrying Haruka! They were made for eachother. That old human had said so! She'd said that they argued like an old married couple already. Everyone said so! It was destiny.

"Very well. Perhaps in a millennium, you might consider a child with Haruka too. It'd be good to have both lines continuing, just in case."

"I thought the arrangement with Hio was to be permanent if children arise from the union."

"It will be. You don't need to bond with Haruka, Juuri, you need only spend a single heat with him. The child can be passed off as Rido's easily enough. It's not like we're contracting for monogamy."

"I can't see it happening. Haruka is just so… so annoying."

Their father laughed. "He has a crush, it will fade my dear."

"A crush? Is that why he stalks me everywhere? He killed my Gideon because he was jealous of the attention I gave him! He's completely immature!"

"Haruka is young Juuri, give him a few centuries to mature before you judge him. I've already arranged a new fencing instructor for you. I promise this one is just as pretty."

Juuri scoffed – Haruka knew her face would be scrunched up in that cute little expression he liked so much – "You'd think losing one's fangs wouldn't be considered foreplay, even for vampires."

Haruka froze against the wall.

Juuri was serious. She wanted to handfast Rido. He scowled angrily. He wouldn't allow it! Juuri was making a mistake. They were meant to be together, Haruka knew it. And if Juuri couldn't see that, then it was down to Haruka to save her.

Kaname dispersed the memory. So, it was like that huh? Typical. It was easy to see how everything had gone so very wrong.

Haruka had never grown up. His obsession with Juuri had not faded. Either he'd murdered his own father to stall his arranged match to Shizuka Hio, or Kaname's grandfather – Kuran Taigo – had died naturally not long after that conversation.

Kaname knew where he'd bet money.

Orphaned, so to speak- Kaname had no idea where his 'grandmother' was in this timeline- the vultures of their society had soon surrounded Juuri, Haruka and Rido. Rido as the eldest would have been the new head of the family and that would have only further enraged Haruka as his competition got more desirable.

At some point, the insincere flattery of the lower class had gotten to Haruka.

He began to believe in their fake obeisance and became blind to their scheming.

Kaname tore through the rest of the memories he'd stolen but he couldn't pinpoint when the change had occurred. He'd become arrogant, he'd stopped training his powers – why did he need to train? It was so boring. He was already stronger than anyone else anyway.

The Council would have pressured them in any way possible to start bonding and having children. They liked having lots of young purebloods about.

Bonding would have been a good idea for Rido, a way to suggest that the family wasn't weak. Juuri had been old enough once she'd passed her first millennium and willing – Haruka would have snapped.

A weak moment wasn't too difficult to find when you all lived together and thought you could trust each other. Haruka had a preference for the coarse mental attacks, so Kaname felt it was safe to assume that Haruka had mentally compelled both Rido and Juuri.

Rido's behaviour now made so much sense it was sickening. Kaname felt the horrible flush of shame. He hadn't thought about Rido in years as anything more than the jealous obsessive insane one – ruining the lovey-dovey relationship of Haruka and Juuri. Now that he could think clearly, he'd pitied the wrong brother. He'd been wrong, and it stung.

It was Haruka who was the bratty insecure rapist. The lovey-dovey relationship he'd thought ideal, the one Yuki had thought ideal – was nothing more than slavery.

No wonder Rido had become fixated on Juuri afterwards, convinced she was meant for him. No wonder he'd tried to 'kidnap' her and take her away. When a pureblood loved…well, it wasn't pretty but it was incredibly strong.

Haruka wouldn't have been able to delete their love, only confuse it. Rido in his insanity still remembered that Juuri was in danger, that they were in love. Of course he tried to kidnap her, and Yuki who had looked so much like her. Kidnap meant taking her away from Haruka.

Equally Rido had made deals with the Council, he'd hunted other purebloods – to get stronger. The Council had used Rido to equalise them against the pureblood houses, and Rido had used them to get the blood.

It was exactly what Kaname had done. Subconsciously, they'd both known something was wrong. If something went wrong with a pureblood then they were weak. Getting stronger meant preying on their kin and taking their strength for their own. Rido had been the Council's attack dog. Kaname had first hunted Shizuka – the isolated and vulnerable pureblood – and then others. War had given him the opportunity to feast and feast and feast. At some point, he'd overcome Haurka's control and started to heal but it hadn't been a conscious act.

If Kaname had not risked time travel, he would never have remembered.

It was sickening.

If Aylin had not asked about the Old Ways, would Kaname have died on that forsaken world? Unable to connect the right mental pathways to remember what powers he actually possessed?

It could never be allowed to happen again.

Feeling utterly ruthless, and more than a bit terrified, Kaname dismissed the last of Haruka's memories and set about constructing the most fearsome mental defences that had ever been imagined.

He would not be vulnerable again.

I have so much sympathy for those authors who say that RL got in the way of writing now. I used to be like yeah right, but after having my USB corrupted - and paying for it to be professionally restored rather than lose all my work, getting flooded twice and having to move house, I completely empathise.