AN: Alright, I admit it, the reason this chapter...and the next two really, took so long to come out was because I was a lazy, unmotivated piece of shit. SQ, our glorious queen, posted nearly four chapters in the time it took to get this tiny one out and that is truly pathetic of me...Unfortunately, I'm not seeing when that is going to stop. But I'll make an attempt to fix myself, and until then, ENJOY...Also it should be fairly obvious when this takes place.


It wasn't the night after Shikako came home, or the night after that, or even the night after that. It wasn't the fourth, or the fifth, or even the sixth night after she came home from the disaster in what was the Land of Hot Springs that she had her first nightmare. It was a full week and a half after she stepped foot back in her own house, and slept in her own bed that she awoke from it with thundering heart and sweat soaked sheets that she had remembered to use to muffle her scream only just before it tore it's way out of her throat. She barely made it to the toilet in time to disgorge everything she had eaten recently with the overpowering taste of blood in her mouth as she tried to push every last fluid ounce of Aoba's blood that she had been forced to drink out of her stomach.

Sasuke was dozing in mission-sleep on the couch, as he had ever since he'd come home with his friend the first time, when he felt Shikako's chakra come awake with a violent, terrified snap and as he shot awake, heard the slap of her feet on the floor as she rushed across the hall.

He might have stopped if that had been all, knocked on the bathroom door and asked if she was alright before going back to half-sleep, but then, the bathroom door was open, and his best friend and beloved was purging like she had just swallowed charcoal voluntarily as a poison extractor. So instead he turned on the cold water and dropped two washcloths in the sink to soak it all up. Then he knelt beside her, running his fingers through her hair as he pulled and held it out of the way as she puked again.

Pulling one of the washcloths out of the sink and pressing it against the side to wring it out, he slipped the fabric underneath Shikako's hair and draped it across her neck.

Shikako shuddered in relief, the feeling of the cold, thin, clear liquid that was most definitely not blood running down her neck washing most of the immediate nausea away. She sobbed in a breath, grimacing at the acrid smell that came with it. "Thanks." She muttered shakily, taking the second cloth from his waiting hand and wiping her mouth with it.

He nodded. "Anytime." He whispered. He paused. "Ginger tea?" He asked hesitantly. "It'll help with the nausea."

She nodded, needing to taste something better than acid or blood, "Please…. I-I'm gonna take a shower, so I'll be down in a minute." She added after a moment, because he was still sitting back on his heels beside her.

"Alright." He responded, climbing to his feet. "It'll be ready by the time you're done."

"Sasuke?" She said, halting him at the door, "Can you just bring it to my room? I don't want anyone else to hear." She explained, accurately guessing that he would want an explanation, and deciding that she wanted to give it to him.

...

Sasuke put the tea, enough for two, on slowly, keeping his movements quiet to not wake up the rest of the house, a packet of ginger for nausea, lavender for anxiety, and chamomile for easy sleep. As he waited for the tea to boil, he sat down at the table to think. "Beloved?" he asked himself, the word having come unasked into his head as he walked in on Shikako. He considered how he'd felt about her, the way she'd made him feel, since the Grass exams- no, since He had put her in the hospital in his stead. Really considered them, and not pushed it aside and denied it like he'd been doing up until tonight. "I do love her." He admitted silently. "I love you, Shikako. I think you are the bravest, smartest, most creative, and amazing, and powerful, and beautiful person I know. You're the best friend I've ever had or will have and I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He announced in the depths of his mind where he was brave enough to say it because no one could hear it, a small smile growing on his face and a feeling inside like a sun was about to burst.

The teapot screamed, and Sasuke swiftly took it off the stove to let the tea cool and steep. Then he took two cups, the one he'd noticed was Shikako's preferred plus an extra, and filled them with water before putting them in the microwave to warm them up in preparation for the tea. Not long afterward, he heard the water cut off from the shower and then Shikako's feet move across the hall back to her room.

Sasuke took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and let it out slowly as the microwave beeped. Figuring out how to deal with his newly accepted feelings would have to wait. Shikako needed him as a friend, and only as a friend tonight. So that's what he would continue to give her. He dumped the water out from the cups, squeezed a generous amount of honey all around the walls of Shikako's cup, and filled both with tea.

...

"You can come in." Shikako answered, dressed in a fresh pair of blues cut off at the knees and elbows, as soon as she heard the knock on her door.

Sasuke carefully opened the door, and stepped into her room, holding both cups in one hand by their handles. Once he softly closed the door behind him, he passed her mug off to his other hand and held it out to her as he approached her bed.

"Thanks," Shikako said gratefully, flipping up the blankets off the mattress so he could sit down next to her as she took the tea from him.

"You know," Sasuke began lightly. "I found out who those people were, the ones from Mom's team photo."

"Hmm?" She asked, holding her tea close to enjoy the warmth, relaxed into the fragrant taste and smell of it as she took a drink. She smiled. "This is Ino's recipe." She noted. "You even got the honey right."

"Yeah. She wrote it on my arm when she visited the night you came back." He confirmed.

"Hmmm. So who were they?" She asked as she sunk down further into the pillows.

"It was Kakashi's father. Sakumo, Konoha's 'White Fang,' that Chakra Saber was his first before it was Kakashi's." He should have saved it for his son. Sasuke didn't say.

Shikako nudged his arm with hers. He did. She didn't say.

"I did some digging, and Sakumo killed himself when Kakashi was seven after failing a mission that kicked off the Third War to save some wounded teammates. The boy with the bow turned out to be the guy mom was writing those letters to, Hibiki Hayate. He's dead now, got killed at the Kumo border when Yugito turned up." He paused. "The redheaded girl was Kushina Uzumaki, and I'm pretty sure she's Naruto's mom. They were best friends too."

"Naruto will be overjoyed when he hears. I'm glad you're finding all this out." Shikako whispered. "Any clue on who his dad was?" She asked, lowering her cup.

"The Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze." Sasuke answered as he sipped his tea.

Shikako snorted. "No wonder they wouldn't let anyone know."

Sasuke nodded. "I found out another thing about that boyfriend of moms too." He added. "They were going to get married before he died. They were going to do what your parents did."

Shikako paused. "Your parents didn't care much for each other?" she asked hesitantly, taking a drink.

"Mom hated dad, and dad hated almost everyone she cared about." He answered, rocking his head back against the headboard with a dull thud, feeling equally as hollow as he did when he first read it in his mothers handwriting. "She thought he was a prideful, stuck up bastard. He thought she disgraced the clan with her choice of company except for Minato. But they were each powerful, and her parents last wish was for them to get married, and if she wanted to stay in the clan she had to comply, and cause Hibiki was dead she had nowhere to go." Sasuke swallowed and let out a short, bitter snort. "You know, maybe it was just because I was a kid, but I never could tell. They never said a single thing against each other when I was around. I'm closing in on the final entries and she wrote that the only good things she got out of their marriage were me and him, and I was the only one she actually got to be a mom to. Naruto would have grown up like a brother to me if not for the clan. And I never could tell, not a single fucking argument..."

Shikako was silent, her mouth dry as a bone. She put her hand over his and squeezed it tight. "I'm so sorry. I-" She paused a moment. "I'm sorry you had to find that out at all."

Sasuke squeezed her hand back. "What about you? You want to talk about anything. All this is for you." He reminded her.

She nodded, and took a long, deep drink to fill her mouth with the taste Ino's tea blend as her eyes started to well up. "They killed Aoba. Slit his throat. And as he died, they held me down and made me drink his blood. And tonight, I had a nightmare about it. And all I could think about was the taste of his blood in my mouth, and how it felt to have a full stomach of it, and how I couldn't breath with it choking me." She sniffed and took her hand out of his to wipe angrily at her eyes. "I thought after the first couple nights of not dreaming about it, I wasn't going to."

Sasuke put their mugs on her desk and pulled her into a hug. "I should have been there for you." He whispered into her ear after a moment. "It seems like every time you suffer, I was the cause of it, or I wasn't there to stop it. And I'm so, so sorry for failing you."

She felt a wave of shear revulsion and panic, and the most horrible feeling of loss wash over her as the image of Sasuke in Aoba's place came behind her eyes and she tried to shove him away, but he held her tight, so she hissed in his ear, halfway to a sob. "Don't you dare. There was nothing I could do to save Aoba, and if it had been you instead I don't know if I would have wanted to survive it. Losing Aoba was bad enough, but losing you would have been unbearable. You've never failed me, I was always right where I wanted to be."

"If losing me is unbearable, how do you think I feel when you keep taking hits for me?" Sasuke asked. "I'm not saying you should quit, being your teammate is the best thing that ever happened to me. I just want you to know I feel the same way about you."

Her fingers tightened in his shirt before letting go and gently separated from him. "Thanks." She said, sitting back against the headboard. "Can I have my tea back?" She asked. He passed it back. "You did a really good job with this." She said.

"Thanks." He returned with a smile. "It is really good. I'm going to have to thank Ino for it."

"She is great." Shikako agreed.

They finished their tea, and Sasuke got up to put the cups back in the sink. "Goodnight." She said, laying down and pulling the covers up to her chin.

"Goodnight." He returned, tapping the bump of her ankle as he passed.


AN: Well, same thing as usual I guess. Go hit that Review button, or else tell me what you think of it in the DOS FanFic thread in the forum... Preferably hit the review button, though. Seriously, It's been a while since I've written and I want to know if I'm losing it anywhere. I hope you enjoyed it.