By the time they got back to the carnival it was dark.

"I'll go round up the blade, you two go see if Cooper's got bed bugs." Dean said, walking away.

"Alright." Sam and Jessa started towards Cooper's trailer. "I'll go in, you keep a lookout."

"Lookout?" Jessa asked him, "I'm not useless, you know."

"I know, but I still need a lookout."

"Fine." Jessa waited while Sam picked the lock and entered. "Lookout." She muttered disdainfully, walking around the trailer.

She rounded the last corner, almost back to where she started when she walked straight into the barrel of a shotgun.

"Shit." She cursed.

"That's right, little lady." Cooper said.

Before Jessa could open her mouth to call Sam, the butt of the gun slammed into her chest, sending her sprawling on the ground. The pain was crippling, and it completely knocked the wind out of her.

By the time she caught her breath back, Sam was there helping her to her feet.

"It's not Cooper." He said.

"Then who?" She said, wincing at the pain of her movement.

"No idea. I'm going to find Dean, you wait here."

"I'm fine, I'll come with."

"Jessa, you aren't fine." He pointed to her chest where blood was seeping through her top.

"Shit, not again."

"Sit down and wait for us." He walked her to a nearby bench and took out his phone, "Here. Call Dean if you think of anything, or if you need us."

She nodded and fished out her pills, taking a few of them. She waited anxiously, unable to keep still.

"You're bleeding." Mr Cooper came to sit down next to her. "I'm sorry about the whole hitting you thing."

"It's fine, old wound. We shouldn't have broken into your trailer."

"Why did you?"

"Research." She tried to keep her answer vague.

"For what?"

She thought back to what Dean had mentioned about the lie he told the blind guy. "My brothers and I, we write about the paranormal. We heard a legend about a phantom clown and I guess we just wanted to know if it had any merit."

Cooper laughed, "You're crazy."

Jessa smiled, "I guess you could say I am." She saw her brothers running toward her so she turned her full attention to Cooper, "Mr Cooper, I was wondering if you could get me some ice?" She touched her chest, "It's a little tender, is all."

"Sure." He disappeared just as Sam and Dean reached them.

"Well?" She asked.

"As it turns out, blind guy isn't so blind." Dean exclaimed, a hint of betrayal in his tone.

"It was him?"

Sam nodded, "Let's get the hell out of here."


It was a long bus ride back to Nebraska, but Jessa was grateful for the chance to rest. After a few hours resting got old, and by the time they got off just near the roadhouse she was stiff as anything. She almost giggled with happiness when she saw her Hawk, still sitting in the roadhouse lot.

"Man, I hope you boys enjoy the bus back to Sioux Falls." She grinned, walking backwards to gloat as she pushed open the door to the roadhouse.

The first thing that hit her as wrong was the silence inside. There was no low murmuring of hunters, or the sounds of knives being sharpened or guns being cleaned, just the quiet melody from the jukebox. The second thing was the way the boys stiffened as soon as they stepped across the threshold, Dean all but stepping in front of her in a protective stance. Jessa turned around, her eyes scanning the room until they came to rest on the suit sitting at the bar. The very familiar suit.

The few hunters in the roadhouse looked to be extremely uncomfortable, as did Ellen. She was wiping a portion of the bar and eyeing him suspiciously.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, annoyed and more than a little confused.

"Looking for you, actually." Hotch stood to face her. "You took off from the hospital. I wanted to know if you were okay."

"Hospital?" Ellen asked, concerned, "Jessa, what the hell were you doing in a hospital?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." She said to her.

"Fine?" Hotch said, "Jessa, you got shot!"

"Shot?" Ellen exclaimed.

"Ellen, its fine." Jessa assured her, giving her boss a look.

"Fine? You got shot and you didn't care to tell me?"

"Because you would only worry!" She gave Hotch another look and walked back out the front door away from prying ears. "What are you really doing here, Hotch?"

"I want to make sure you're okay." He told her softly. "You wouldn't answer your phone."

"It broke. And I'm fine."

"Morgan told me why you ran off from the hospital."

"It wasn't his place to tell."

"He's worried about you. We all are."

"You don't have to be." She crossed her arms over her chest and leant against her bike. "I'm fine."

"Are you really, Jessa?" He asked, almost accusingly, "Because you were shot—"

"And I nearly died, I get it." She finished.

"No, Jessa, you did die!" He yelled, "You died, and it was my fault. I okayed the press conference and I sent you home. You got shot because of me!" When the words were out of his mouth his anger evaporated and he looked guilt ridden.

"What do you want me to say?" She snapped, tears forming in her eyes. "That I'm not okay? That every single time I close my eyes I see his face, and I see the gun pointed at me? That every time I relax, I can feel his hand inside of my chest? What do you want from me Hotch? I lost everything. I lost my home, I lost my dad; I've got nothing." The tears were falling down her face and she felt like she had to punch something.

"I didn't know about your dad. Jessa, I'm sorry."

"Because it's nobody's business."

"But you haven't lost everything." He took a step closer, his face softening, "I've been sitting in there for hours getting a lecture about making sure you're okay from the woman behind the bar. She cares about you, Jessa. She loves you. I saw two brothers get mighty protective over you as soon as they saw me, and I've been seeing five people back home worried out of their minds for you. You may have lost your father, and your home, but you haven't lost everything. Far from it."

She looked away, trying to hide the tears that fell harder and harder as she lost control of her emotions. Swiftly, Hotch took a step toward her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him as she broke down completely.

When her tears slowed, Jessa suddenly felt extremely embarrassed. She pulled back and wiped her face, "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. At all." He reached out and pushed a tear soaked strand of hair out of her face, "It's okay to be upset."

"Thanks." She whispered, walking to the steps and taking a seat.

"Are you going to come back? To Virginia?" Hotch asked, taking a seat next to her.

"I don't know." She answered honestly. "I mean, we came here the other day looking for answers and we ended up in Wisconsin." She chuckled.

Hotch joined in her laughter, "What were you doing in Wisconsin."

"We went to the circus." She mentioned with a small laugh.

"The circus?" She nodded, "You drove twelve hours to a circus?"

"I guess it sounds more ridiculous if you say it out loud."

"It does sound a little ridiculous." Hotch agreed.

"It's not like we set out intending to go to a circus in Wisconsin."

He chuckled, "Did you have a good time?"

Jessa smiled at his attempt at normal conversation, "Not really. I mean, it took my mind off everything for a little while but as soon as it was over it was like I got hit with a freight train. Like everything that faded away for that little while came back with a vengeance."

"What does that mean for you?"

"I had fun, but my heart wasn't there." They were both silent for the longest time as the sun started to set.

"Where was your heart?"

She sighed, working out how to answer his question. "I'll come back, Hotch. I will." She turned her body so she could look him in the eye, "I just don't know when. I can't leave my family right now, not while we still have a job to do."

"Family doesn't end with blood, Jessa." He put a hand on her knee, "The team, we're your family too. I'm not saying this to try and drag you away from your family here. I'm saying this so you know that when you choose to come back, you know that we're all there for you."

"Thank you." She nudged him with her shoulder, "Means a lot."

They sat in comfortable silence for a long time. Eventually the sun set completely and the parking lot filled with bikes and rusty old cars, but still they sat there.

"I'm kinda glad you came." She whispered, not making eye contact.

"I'm glad I came, too." Hotch replied.

He looked down at his hands, then back at her. Jessa realised how close they were sitting, but neither of them made an effort to move. That was until, slowly, Hotch lowered his face to hers, meeting her lips for a light kiss.

Jessa was stunned at first, but far from in a bad way. As soon as she registered what was happening enough to kiss him back, he pulled away slightly. She scooted slightly closer to him, letting him know it was okay.

Hotch deepened the kiss, moving one hand to her waist and bringing up the other to cup her face. She kissed him back, not knowing until that moment that she wanted it. Just as suddenly as it began, it ended. Hotch leapt to his feet and took a big step backward looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He stared at her for a moment before mumbling an apology and fleeing into a nearby car, leaving Jessa confused and a little breathless.

She didn't know how long she sat there for, watching the horizon long after his tail lights disappeared, but eventually she made her way back into the roadhouse.

"You were out there a while." Ellen commented, filling a customer's glass full of beer. "Customers were startin' to get wary of the suit camped out of the front steps."

"Sorry." She apologised.

"Don't apologise." She sent Jessa a knowing smile, "Who was he anyway? He certainly seemed adamant to see you. Sat there for hours waiting."

"He's my boss."

"I won't judge if he was more." She grinned, "He was fine."

"Oh, okay." Jessa chuckled, "Can you point me in the direction of my brothers?"

"Over there in the corner." She nodded to the corner table where the boys were laughing about something over a couple drinks. "And Jessa?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for over reacting before. I know that whether you're hunting monsters or bad guys you're always going to get hurt. I understand that, I just worry."

"I know you do, and I love you for it."

Ellen nodded, and gestured for her to go and drink with her brothers.

Jessa made her way over there, but was intercepted by Jo.

"Hey, who was the suit? He looked serious."

"It's nothing, Jo. Talk later, okay?"

"Oh, oh, okay. Fine. Yeah."

She sat herself down in the spare seat at Sam and Dean's table.

"About time." Dean commented. "Who was that guy anyway? Looks like a jackass." The last part was muttered, and Jessa pretended she didn't hear it.

"Hotch. My boss." She answered taking the spare glass and half filling it with whiskey from the bottle on the table.

"What'd he want?" Sam asked, with a lot less irritation than Dean.

"Just wanted to know when I'd be back in Virginia."

"Which is when?"

"I don't know."

"You were out there an awful long time for that short of an answer." Dean bit.

"We were talking, if it's any of your business." She downed the contents of her glass. "I don't need this." She poured herself another drink, "What'd Ash say about the demon?"

"It's gone." Sam said.

"Gone? What do you mean by gone?"

"Do you know what gone means, J?" Dean asked her, "It's nowhere."

"But when it pops up again, Ash'll let us know." Sam added.

"Great. What do we do until then?"

"You go back to Virginia to work, we wait for Ash to call." Dean told her.

"Go back to work?" She exclaimed, "I'm not going anywhere until that damned demon is dead!"

"J, that demon isn't anywhere on earth. We can't kill it if it's nowhere."

"Jessa," Sam said, a little softer than Dean had, "We just have to wait until it comes back, and when it does the three of us, we'll kill it."

"Whatever." She downed the contents of her glass and walked off to her room.


She stood in the shower under the steady spray of water until it turned cold. By the time she climbed into the familiar bed, she was exhausted enough to sleep through the night.

Jessa woke in the morning feeling like she had been hit by a bus, despite having slept through the night for the first time since she was shot. Everything from the last week was finally catching up with her.

"Morning, honey." Ellen greeted when she stumbled out into the bar.

"Morning." She mumbled.

Jo grinned and slid a mug of hot coffee along the table to the spare seat where Jessa sat down.

"Where are the boys?" She asked after taking a long sip, choking down the bitter taste of the instant coffee.

"They took off early this morning." Ellen explained, "They tried to wait, but there was only one bus running through."

She nodded, understanding. "I'll give them a call later."

"What about you? When are you heading back to Virginia?" Jo asked, hoping she would stay a little longer.

"I don't know." She answered, "I think I need some time away."

"The boys left a bag for you." Ellen pointed to the worn green duffel by the door.

Jessa grabbed it, and pulled the zipper open. The bag contained a handful of flannel tops, a shotgun with a few spare salt rounds, a handgun with a number of extra clips of silver bullets, and a small flask of holy water. She smiled. Dean always knew what she needed, even if she didn't know it herself.

"They also left this." Ellen handed her a slip of paper.

In the centre, in Dean's distinctive scrawl, was an address in Lincoln.

"I think it's time I head off." She said with a small smile.

She rushed to her room and grabbed her helmet and duffel before returning to the bar to say goodbye to Ellen and Jo.

"You call if you need anything, won't you?" Ellen told her sternly.

"Of course."

"And call if you don't need anything." Jo added, "Just call."

"I will." She hugged each of them before climbing on her bike and speeding off.


The ride was exactly what she needed. The wind whipping and stinging her face blew away her troubled as he concentrated on the blacktop, letting the needle of the speedometer push the Hawk's limits.

She stopped at a gas station just outside of Lincoln to refuel and get her bearings. She hadn't spent a whole lot of time there when she lived at the Roadhouse, but she knew enough to know that the address her brother's left her was in the warehouse district.

The address was the junction of Wabash and Lake, and when she arrived she saw what they were directing her to. John's truck was parked, collecting dust on the roadside. She slowly made her way over to it, checking it for outward signs of damage. She found the keys still in the ignition, despite it being parked there for god knows how long. It took a while, but she eventually got her Hawk into the back, the effort and strain causing her chest to ache. She took a couple of pills and began her thorough search of John's vehicle. Every hunter had a cache of weapons, it was just a matter of finding her father's. She eventually found it, in the tool drawers below the tray.

John had collected a vast array of weapons and various other knick-knacks that would be useful for hunting. She added to the hoard the few weapons that Dean had given her, before slipping one of John's nicer blades into her belt.

The large truck roared to life beneath her and she pointed it down the road, not even caring what direction she was headed.


A/N: I'm posting this now because after many many different attempts (and by many, i mean I have at least eight different variations saved to my computer), i have finally written a Chapter 20 that i'm happy with! Yay! I'm currently working on more so hopefully updates don't slow down too much.

Hope you enjoyed.

Xoxo