I am so sorry that it has been over a month since I last updated this; I have no excuse other than a lack of motivation. I know where I want this to go, I just do not know how I want to get them there yet, which makes this feel, for me, like it is taking me a lifetime to get anywhere, and it probably feels the same to you, too.
Oh, if you have not noticed, I have changed my username on here, so it is now BuryTheHatchet, not SilentWitnessNerd like it used to be. I am not going to go into explaining why I changed it, because it would just take too long, but just make sure that you know that. Sorry for any inconveniences that caused.
XLI. I'm Selfish, Impatient And A Little Insecure. I Make Mistakes, I Am Out Of Control And At Times Hard To Handle. But If You Can't Handle Me At My Worst, Then You Sure As Hell Don't Deserve Me At My Best.
Ziva smiled at the light emanating from the front window of the house as she slid her key into the lock and walked through the front door. She stood in the doorway to the living room, watching as Tony stared blankly at Dr No. "I thought I told you not to wait up for me?" His head whipped up and a smile broke out across his face as he sighed in relief.
"What sort of a fiancé would I be if I didn't wait up for you?"
"One who follows orders?"
"But then I wouldn't be me, would I?" He stood and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. "I missed you."
"I was only gone for five hours." She laughed.
"Well, it was five hours too long. Did you get all of the invites done?"
"Every last one of them." She groaned. "They are in a box in the car. How about you? How did your mission go?"
"Y'know, I don't see what all of the fuss was about. He's McGee, any chance to write words down and read them to everybody and he takes it. McWordsworth is probably already writing his speech." He grinned and she rolled her eyes.
"About speeches…Abby would like to say something at out wedding. I told her I would have to talk to you."
He paused. It was not that he did not want Abby to make a speech; she was like a little sister to him – a crazy, caffeinated little sister, but a little sister all the same. He was just hesitant, as he could see his fiancée was. Abby had a tendency to go off on tangents and she could be unpredictable at times. But then, so could their boss, and he would be making the 'father-of-the-bride' speech. "Well, I guess since Gibbs is making a speech we could let Abby make one. We'll just have to make sure she keeps it child friendly."
"Ah, yes. My little flower girl." She smiled and leant into his warm embrace further, sighing with contentment and resting her head on his chest. "Do you think we will be able to get Elsie into a dress?"
"Hey, dresses are your problem, Sweetcheeks." He chuckled and backed away slightly. "Just say what you said to Abby. Tell her she can change into a pair of dungarees for the reception."
"I never told Abby that she could wear a pair of dungarees at the reception."
He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. She can wear her own choice of clothes for the reception."
"Abby already has her dress for the reception. It is black."
He gasped. "No! I'm shocked!"
"Come on. Bed." She said, keeping her smile subdued although still present, curving her lips up slightly.
"Yes, Ma'am." He saluted, keeping his face straight.
"Call me Ma'am again, DiNozzo, and I can guarantee that you will not be waking up tomorrow."
"Then I'll just have to not go to sleep. Hmm, what can I do in bed without sleeping…?"
"Get it out of your head, Tony. I am tired. I want to sleep."
"Okay. Sleep then." He pressed two kisses to her bump, one either side, and then placed a soft, tender kiss on her lips, smiling as she looped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.
She pulled away slightly, her cheeks tinted pink and her eyes sparkling. "Maybe I am not that tired, Tony…"
"Abby says we need to talk about our honeymoon."
"Does she now?" Tony murmured as he continued to press kisses along her collarbone.
"I am certain Doctor Green will not let me fly."
He looked up at her, his lips breaking away from her skin. "I won't let you fly. You're gonna be six months pregnant, with twins, flying is not an option. No. Absolutely not."
She shoved him none too gentle to the other side of the bed. "You are not the boss of me, Tony! What makes you think you have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do?"
His hands were held up in surrender at her sudden outburst, making sure to keep enough distance from her so that he would not risk being hit, or worse. "Hey, I was just saying because I love you and I love our babies and I don't want anything to go wrong." She ignored him as she stood up and stormed into the bathroom, grabbing clothes as she went. "Where are you going?" The door slammed and he could hear the muffled beginnings of her crying as the shower turned on. "Ziva, I'm sorry…" He leant against the door, trying to hear if she replied. He was uncertain of how long he spent at the door to the en-suite, but it was long enough for the shower to stop running. He waited for her to emerge, but she didn't. "Ziva, please…" He could hear the tap and it sounded like she was brushing her teeth. So, when he realised that she was not going to come out whilst she knew he was there, he walked downstairs and prepared breakfast.
Breakfast was held in a tense silence, broken only by Tony's failed attempts to start conversations. The car journey was just as icy. "Ziva!" He yelled as she jumped out, ignoring him as the car door slammed behind her. He groaned and followed her up to the squad room, cringing when her bag hit her desk with a resounding thud that reverberated around the quiet office.
"Zi…" Gibbs started, only to be cut of by her whirling on him.
"What?!"
"You okay?"
"Fine." And with that she was gone, storming towards the rear elevator.
"What did you do now, DiNozzo?" He sighed, looking over to his senior field agent.
"Why do you assume it was me?!"
"Who else could it have been?" McGee laughed.
"Anybody! How do you know she's not angry at some guy who overtook us on the way into work?"
Gibbs raised his eyebrows. "Is she?"
"No." He grumbled and laid his head in his hands. "She took something I said the wrong way."
"What was it?"
"I just said that I didn't want her flying anywhere for out honeymoon." He defended himself.
"Ziva doesn't like being told what to do at the best of times."
"I know, McGee." Tony growled at his friend. "She is my fiancée, after all." He groaned and leaned back in his chair. "Pregnant women should come with warnings. Or there should be a disclosure sort of form thing that you have to fill out, you know, before you sleep with them." The other two agents exchanged a glance and then looked over to Tony as he rambled on about how unfair it was to just expect men to put up with hormonal mood swings.
"…And then he just expects me to be okay with him bossing me about like a…like a…submissive person! I am not a submissive person!" Ziva had been shouting for fifteen minutes. Abby had listened for the first two, and then put a pair of earplugs in. Ziva had not seemed to notice. Either that or she was too riled up to care.
But the earplugs were becoming ineffective as her tirades grew in volume. "ZIVA! STOP!" The lab fell silent. "This is a place of calm and peace, not anger. If you want to go and shout at Tony, do it, but please, you are upsetting Major MassSpec."
"I do not want to shout at Tony." Ziva looked at Abby, hurt written across her face.
"Then what do you want to do?"
"I…I…I do not know." She looked down at her shoes. "He was right."
"Then what's the problem?!" Abby cried, exasperated, for she was getting more and more confused by the minute and just wanted to go back to the evidence she was processing.
"I did not like the way he said it."
"Ziva, nobody likes the way Tony says anything."
"I like the way he tells me he loves me." Her cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment at the simple statement that to any other woman would not be considered something to be shy about.
Abby wrapped her arms around her. "You know, you'll stop hating him when the twins are born."
"I do not hate him now!" Ziva pulled away, anger flaring in her eyes again.
"Of course you don't, but this momentary…uh...should I just stop now?" She asked hesitantly, her usually confident demeanour somewhat waning under Ziva's glare.
"That would be advisable."
"Yeah, thought so…" Abby nodded, backing away slightly. There was silence in the lab until the computer dinged and a relieved expulsion of air left Abby's lips, along with an utterance of 'saved by the bell'.
"Is this something to do with the Jell-O case, Abby?" Ziva asked as both women walked over to the monitor.
"No, it's another case that came through here yesterday. Just some blood tests I was running for Ducky. Nothing special, all clear. No alcohol or drugs." She shrugged and turned to the Israeli. "Go talk to Tony. Apologise."
She cleared her throat as she stood over him. His head was on his desk and his eyes were pressed closed, but at the sound of her small cough he looked up and smiled meekly. "Hey."
"We need to talk."
"Couldn't agree more." He sat up properly. He watched as she tilted her head and both Gibbs and McGee suddenly dropped their heads.
"Not here. Somewhere without sneezey people."
"Nosey people?"
"That is the one." She allowed a small smiled to grace her lips and snagged his hand in hers, tugging him out of his seat and towards the elevator. As the doors slid closed she turned to him. "It was…not right of me to react the way I did." She shifted uncomfortably. Admitting she was wrong was not an easy task. She kept her arms crossed over her chest and her posture strict. "However, I did not like the way you spoke so possessively of me."
"Yeah. There's no link between my brain and mouth." He shrugged and a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "You know I didn't mean it like that, don't you?" She nodded, a small, imperceptible nod that he wasn't certain he hadn't imagined. "I love you, Ziva. More than anything. You know that." He reached out his hand and brushed his fingers lightly down her upper arm. She softened slightly, leaning into his touch. "Please say something?" She unfolded her arms and wrapped them around him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. She didn't have to say anything. He knew his apology had been accepted and he knew he was forgiven.
I did not know where to end this chapter. I do not think I ended it very well at all. I had written another 1000 words or so, but I did not like the way they fit and the way they were taking the story. I do not know… I think this one has hit a brick wall and does not have the strength to climb over it at the moment. It will do in a few chapters, because they are all written up and finished and I really like some of the accumulating chapters that I have, but that does mean that you have to be patient with me whilst I work my way towards them. Writing has been a little difficult over the past few days, and it does not seem to be getting better. You will all have to be patient with me, because although I will not give up on this, it is going to take some time.
