It feels like ages since I have written anything, when in fact it has not been long at all.

Oh, and I just realised, as I was reading back on things, that all the way back in chapter…15, I think, Ziva said that it was just a one-night stand with Malachi, but then in the last chapter I made it sound like something more. I think I am going to go with it being the latter. Sorry for not paying attention when I was writing it, I shall try harder from now on.

LVI. When Words Become Unclear, I Shall Focus With Photographs. When Images Become Inadequate, I Shall Be Content With Silence.

"I dunno, McGee. I just woke up, okay, and she was crying, and I…" Tony's head snapped up when the door opened and Ziva walked through, her face stained with tears and Gibbs arm around her shoulders. She stayed calm and collected, her posture strict as she made her way over to him, but as soon as she reached his side she melted into him, her body quaking with unshed tears. He looked over to his boss, the question in his eyes clear.

Gibbs gave a subtle nod, a promise to explain later. "McGee, let's go. There'll be an agent outside your door at all times. I'll be back later to see how you're doing."

"Thank you, Gibbs," her voice was tight as she buried her face into the side of Tony's neck, not relaxing as his good arm rubbed circles on her back. He shifted on the bed so he was lying down, pulling her with him.

"You going to tell me what's going on?" The distraught, fearful look in her eyes as she looked up at him made his heart feel leaden, his chest constricting. "You can tell me. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I love you."

"I know you do. What's going on?" He frowned, his eyes searching hers. "Please tell me. I want to help."

"I…" She slipped off the edge of the bed, walking over to the isolettes and taking Ada's tiny hand between her fingers. "When I was nineteen, I miscarried…" Her voice cracked slightly, her shoulders quivering.

Tony eased himself to a sitting position, his brow furrowed and his voice tight whilst being as gentle as he knew how to be. "I know."

"The child – baby – was conceived whilst I was on a mission, with the Mossad officer that I was working with. He was older, married, and I hated myself every night for it. But we were undercover and we had to do whatever we had to do," her voice was fading, and he was having to strain to hear, but he did not want to interrupt her, "his name was Malachi Levy. I have not seen him since I left for Haifa to stay with José. Or I had not, until this morning. He was in scrubs, like a doctor, and he said…he said awful, awful things. It was he who had hired the man who shot you, and he said he is going to try again."

"How'd he find out?"

"My father. Apparently they had tea." She responded bitterly. "I am sorry, Tony. I am so sorry. I have endangered your life, and Ada and Ichabod's lives. I should have done something, I should have…"

"Should have what, Ziva? There is nothing that could've been done." He said softly. He was uncertain whether she was talking about when she was nineteen, or the present day, but he knew that there was nothing that anyone could have done at either time. He exhaled quietly when she remained holding Ada's hand and staring out of the window, gritting his teeth together as he swivelled round so his legs hung out of the bed, his feet touching the floor. He stood up slowly and made his way over to her, wrapping his good arm around her waist and burying his face into her hair.

"But, what if…?"

"No 'but's, no 'what if's, there's no point in them. We can't change what's already happened, we can only move on from where we are, making the best of what we have."

"I was the one who got you shot, Tony."

He snorted as she turned in his arm. "Hardly. It was your psycho ex-boyfriend, not you. If it had been you, you wouldn't have left it to somebody else, and you would have done a much better job."

"He was never my boyfriend."

"Would you prefer 'Lover'? 'Cause I certainly wouldn't."

"Fine then, leave it at boyfriend." She held her finger up. "Ex-boyfriend. For a long time."

"For a long, long time." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Gibbs'll get him. He always does."

"Malachi was trained by my father. Gibbs will never catch him."

"And Gibbs is…Gibbs. And, you were trained by your father too, which means you know all the tricks of the trade, so to speak. So, with you and Gibbs combined, and with the rest of the team, we are certain to get him." He placed his cheek on the top of her head and smiled down at the two pairs of unfocused blue eyes. "I'm not letting anyone lay a hand on our family. Are you?"

"No."

"Right then, he doesn't have a chance." He smiled, kissing her softly.

"Tony?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I do not have to worry about any of your exes turning up, do I?" She grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she looked up at him.

"I don't think we'll have a problem with that. Especially since none of the women I have dated, prior to you, have ever been killers. Or, well, there was this one, but it was for a case, and I was undercover…" He blathered on as she chuckled, twisting so she was facing the same way as him and tucking her head under his chin.


"Wha'dya got, Abs?"

"Um, like 30 minutes from 30 security cameras throughout the hospital. That's, like, 900 minutes. Or like, 15 hours of footage." She yawned. I'm running a facial recognition software through it, scanning three cameras at once, at double the speed. Only problem is, the only picture we have of Malachi to compare to was the one Ziva gave us from when they were undercover together, since we want to keep this as quiet as possible." She picked up the album Ziva had directed her to, in a box in the attic of her and Tony's house, and flicked through the pages until she landed on the right one, slipping a polaroid out and showing it to him. "She was so young."

"Nineteen." He nodded, taking the photo and smiling slightly. Her eyes were brighter than he had seen them, before the twins, at least. They had been close to that when she had first turned up, but after Ari they had dimmed slightly, as if every time she lost somebody her eyes darkened just that little bit more. He could only imagine how bright her eyes had been when she was a child, before she had seen friends killed and sisters blown up, before she had lost her mother and killed other's fathers. "She still is young."

"But the difference is she actually seems young there." Abby pointed to the slight blush, the quiet smile. "I forget that she's younger than all of us. Younger than Palmer, even." She sighed. "I just think it's sad."

"She's had a different life to us, Abs. Seen things even Ducky hasn't seen. This is the last thing she needs." He tapped Malachi's face in the image.

"I'm doing my best, Gibbs."

"I know." He pecked her cheek and gave her a Caf-Pow! before walking out, only to turn back and place the picture on top of the album. "It's a good picture of her."

"Yeah. Shame about the company." She grumbled to his retreating form.