I did this when I was supposed to be working, but I was fed up of work. I did not know how to finish it, so I left it where it was. I do not like it that much.

I am really thirsty.

LVII. In Three Words I Can Sum Up Everything I've Learnt About Life: It Goes On.

He was uncertain what it was exactly that had woken him, but he was certain it had something to do with his wife. He turned his head towards the other hospital bed to see her hunched over the small table, her back to him, the dim light from the corridor haloed around her, producing an angelic aura. "What you doing?" His sleep-laden voice croaked out.

She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled softly. "Did I wake you?"

"No. Are you okay?"

"Fine." She went back to what she was doing, turning away from him and ignoring his original question.

Curiosity piqued and irritated that he had not been answered, he stumbled out of bed as gracefully as he could and sat down heavily next to her. She kept herself focused on the job in her hand, though leant into his side slightly, letting a small smile touch her lips as his hand came to rest on her thigh. He watched as she wrote, her neat, cursive script covering the heavy paper, black ink flowing smoothly over the cream surface. And an envelope, already named, sat propped up against the water jug.

Adabelle Antonia David-DiNozzo

"Don't leave." His voice was pleading, desperate. "They need you, Elsie and Mina need you, Abby, McGee, Ducky, Gibbs, they all need you. I need you. Please?"

"I am not leaving, Tony."

"You're just saying that, aren't you? I've seen 'The Sound of Music' too, you know. I know that you writing a letter is not a good sign. I know it means you're leaving." He grew panicked.

She placed a hand on his arm, calming him down. "I am not leaving. I am writing letters for when I do not come home." She cast her eyes down, curling in on herself slightly. He was silent, speechless as she folded the paper in half and slipped it into a matching envelope, carefully writing Ada's full name on the front. Two more envelopes sat empty, along with a pile of expensive paper. "For Elsie and Mina. She noticed his gaze, fixed to the untouched stationery.

"Don't I get one?" There was a puzzled emptiness to his eyes.

"Yours has been written for a long time." She murmured sadly, taking his hand in her own, locking their fingers together. "What with everything going on, I thought it pertinent, just in case…" She did not need to say anymore, they both knew where she was headed, and neither needed it vocalised for the threat to be very real.

"You're an amazing Ima, and an even more amazing woman. You know that?" He pressed his lips to her temple, wrapping his right arm around her.

"Would you…? I mean…it is up to you, but…"

"Of course I'd write letters to them. All of them. But I might need to leave it until my arm is functioning properly. However, I disagree with you. We're not going to need them. Not for a long time." He smiled when she leant into him further. "Sleep now, write the rest tomorrow. Nothing's going to happen tonight."

She nodded, looking up to him. "Hold me?"

"Always."


A polite knock sounded on the door and Ducky poked his head through. "Good morning, Ducky." Ziva looked up from Ichabod.

"Sorry, my dear, I did not know that I would be interrupting." He lowered his eyes.

"It is fine. Ichabod is nearly done." She smiled at the nursing child. She sat between Tony's legs, leaning back against his chest as he pressed kisses to her bare shoulder, his hands sat on her stomach.

"Ada's still taking expressed milk." Tony piped up, beaming at the knowledge he had of his children. "But Ichabod's doing great with the whole breastfeeding thing, or so the nurse says."

"I think he is going to be like his father." Ziva smirked. "He already eats more than you."

"Ha. Unheard of. Nobody can eat more than the great Anthony DiNozzo."

"Well, your son can." She rolled her eyes. "Are you done, my little man? Yes?" She smiled, stroking the infant's soft cheek with a feather-light touch.

"Both Adabelle and Ichabod's stomach sizes are increasing rapidly at the moment, as they are themselves." Ducky said as he walked fully into the room. "How is everyone doing?"

"Good, thank you, Ducky. Has there been any more progress with Malachi?" Ziva stared at him, her eyes childlike and hopeful, preying that Gibbs had caught the man.

"Abby identified him leaving the hospital yesterday five minutes after you called Gibbs, which gave him enough time to change into day-to-day clothes and get down to the front lobby." Ducky said.

"So the guy just walked through the front door? Takes balls." Tony muttered. "Why didn't security get him before he came and bothered us?"

"Well, this is a hospital, Anthony, they tend not to run full background checks on every person walking in and out of the front door. It would be too time consuming."

"Well, they could at least scan irises or fingerprints or something." He grumbled as he played with Ichabod's hand, pulling faces at the little boy.

"I believe that is called invasion of privacy, my dear boy." Ducky chuckled.

"I had to have my fingerprints taken the second time I entered America." Ziva said. "I do not see why it is not the same."

"Because that is a matter of national security, a hospital is not."

"Maybe it should be." Ziva shrugged.

"Hey, why didn't you have your fingerprints taken the first time you entered America?" Tony asked, puzzled.

"I was working as a control officer, I was not known to be in the country."

"Right…I don't think I'm gonna ask any more questions."

"Yes, else I might just have to kill you. I cannot have anyone just going around splashing all of my secrets."

"Spilling."

"Whatever. I simply cannot have it." She said, making Ducky chuckle.

Tony was quiet for a rare moment before his brow furrowed and he looked down at his wife. "You are kidding, aren't you?" She simply smirked and gave him a wink.


"So, um, hi." Tony moved back from where he had sat the camera, smiling as he perched on the edge of the bed. "Your Ima's signing discharge forms at the moment, so we have a minute. I mean, when you're watching this she won't be, but she is now, so, yeah…" He swallowed, trying to remove the thickness from his voice. "If you're watching this, Ichabod, you're probably gonna be feeling alone, or disappointed, or upset, or angry, but that's okay, 'cause that's natural. Your Ima's written letters, if she's not coming home too, but I hope she is, because whatever she tells you, she deserves life so much more than I do.

"I don't, uh, I don't know how much you know about us, me and your Ima, but I promise, whatever happens, whatever anyone says, everything we have ever done was all to make the world a better place. How well we achieved that, I don't know, but I want to make sure you know that all we've done is for the good, for a better place for you and your sister, and Elsie and Mina.

"I don't know when you'll be watching this, whether it's two years from now, five, eighteen, but know that we love you, and we always will. I hope your Ima's still there with you, and if she is, tell her I love her. You're gonna be the man of the house, now, and you need to remind her every day that she is worth the love that you are going to give her. Please? She'll stop believing it otherwise, and she deserves so much more than that, as you do, too. Y'know, I've known you and your sister less than two weeks, and you're already the most precious things in the world to me. I never thought that it was possible to love so much until I met your Ima. And then, two weeks ago, you proved me wrong again.

"If…if you are watching this, it means that I won't be coming home. It means something happened at work, something went wrong. I severely hope that you never do have to watch this, but I know that there is always going to be a chance that you will have to. What ever that is, your Grandpa Gibbs will never let it happen again. And, if neither of us are coming home, then you'll have to trust Auntie Abby and Uncle McGee and Grandpa Gibbs and Grandpa Ducky and Grandma Jenny. They all love you just as much as me and Ima do.

"You'll never be alone. If I want you to remember anything, it is that you are never alone, you will always be loved by us, whatever happens, wherever we are, our love is unconditional. Promise me you'll never let anyone tell you any different." He wiped an errant tear, turning away from the lens and sniffing before looking back. "I love you, okay? Just, be the best that you can be, I'll always be proud of you." He gave one final weak smile before reaching over and shutting the video off, putting the camera into the bag that McGee had brought earlier that morning at his request. He had already made the video message for Ada.


Tony was just wiping his eyes when Ziva walked back through. "Tony, are you okay?"

"Fine, yeah." He sniffed. "Just, y'know, I made video messages for them, 'cause I can't write. It's just depressing, thinking about it all."

"I know." It was something she was finally grasping, how sad it was making plans for when they died. For her, it had always been a reality. One day the bad guys would win, it was inevitable. She had never believed that she would survive long enough to see her twenty-fifth birthday, let alone marry the man she loved, have children. But the longer she lived, the more times she outran death, the closer he would get the next. For every day she lived, she was a day closer to dying, and the probability of her death being just around the corner grew with every near miss, every narrow escape, every minute she stayed alive. Humans are not, nor have they ever been, invisible. She knew that better than most. She had seen family and friends lost, enemies felled, innocents slaughtered. And still it went on. Every day, there was one more horror, one more atrocity for them to deal with. It never got easier, the pain never dulled, and the day it did would be the day she lost her humanity, for even if it is the enemy, the loss of any life is a tragedy.

"Come here." He extended his arms and she walked into them, burying her face into his chest. "So, is that Ichabod discharged?"

"Mmhm. You just need to sign your papers, and then all we are waiting for is Ada." She murmured, her voice muffled by his good shoulder.

"Well, the doctor said it should only be another week if she progresses as she has been. She's doing really well."

"I know…Tony, can I ask you something?"

"Anything. Although I might not be able to answer."

"Do you think it is my fault?"

"What?"

"Ada's hearing. The fact that they are premature. Is it my fault?" Her voice was tearful as she looked up at him.

"No, Ziva. Of course it is not. You had no way of controlling it, did you?" He drew circles on the small of her back with his right hand. "There was nothing you could have done, and I don't want to hear you saying otherwise."

Is Tony right-handed or left-handed? I always thought he was left-handed, but I might be wrong.

I might write the letters and upload them separately, but then I might not, too.