Chapter 2
Shego entered the lab with her luggage case in tow. She saw Drakken still working at his desk, scrawling vehemently on a piece of paper and periodically pausing to get his thoughts straight and laugh quietly to himself. Whatever he was doing, he seemed to be in a good mood, and Shego hated to ruin it.
Drakken swiveled around to greet her with a crooked smile. "Ah, Shego! Your timing couldn't be better. Tell me, what do you think is the evilest thing I've ever done? Or is it most evil?"
Shego tossed an envelope onto his already cluttered desk. "Listen, Drakken. We need to talk."
His gleeful disposition quickly sunk. "Oh dear. Is this about what happened this morning?"
"Uh-huh, that's my letter of resignation."
Drakken gasped as he grabbed the letter in both hands and gazed at it, his face contorted in horror. "Letter of resignation? I take back what I just said about your timing." He snickered and pulled a folder out of a nearby filing cabinet. "You see, I've already renewed your contract for another six months, and unless I am in violation of the terms therein, I'm afraid you're out of luck."
Shego nimbly pulled a page out of the folder. "Yeah, you might wanna take a look at clause four."
"Clause four?" He snatched the page out of her hand. "Let me see that. Hm . . . 'the employer is hereby obligated to refer to the contracted person as partner. Any usage of the terms henchman, henchwoman, henchperson, or sidekick is in violation of this contract' —Oh, he-he— 'unless both parties agree to a change in relationship status, in which case new titles may be substituted.' Alright. So I called you sidekick a few times, big deal. Can't you just file a complaint? That's not really worth resigning over."
"Uh, Dr. D. The sub-clause."
"Oh, the sub-clause. Why didn't you say that in the first place? Let's see . . . 'In the case of pregnancy, the employer is hereby obligated to provide the contracted person with twelve weeks of paid maternity leave. Failure to do so is in violation of this contract.'" He lowered the paper and let his gaze wander up and down her body. "Um, Shego, I don't think this applies here unless there's something you're not telling me."
Shego's face reddened and she covered herself with her arms. "Not that one, idiot! The sub sub-clause."
"Sub sub-clause? You mean this microscopic text in the margins? I thought that was a smudge from my glove."
"Yeah, that's the one."
"Hold on! Give me a minute. These are the eyes of a precision engineer, not a . . . well, I'm not a speed-reader, okay?" He cleared his throat. "'In the unlikely event that the employer abandons his sacred evil duty as a super villain, the contracted person is permitted and encouraged to seek out further employment that makes better use of his or her skills. This policy is in accordance with the villains' union's Underemployment Prevention Act that was passed in 1998.' Utter nonsense! Did you pencil this in while I wasn't looking? Because that sounds like something you would do."
Shego grabbed her suitcase and made her way towards the door. "Hey, you got a problem? Take it up with my union rep."
"I don't care about some law degree-toting charlatan . . . Wait, was that description redundant? No, that's not important. What I'm trying to say is I care about you, Shego, so let's work this out together, one-on-one." He grabbed a pen and notepad. "Come now. What can I do to make you stay?"
"Um, how 'bout go back to being evil?!"
Drakken folded his hands and glanced away from her. "But Shego, I don't think I can go back after that ceremony at the UN. I-I was finally getting the external validation I've longed for all these years."
Shego trembled slightly and looked down at her feet. "Listen, Drakken. All your plans were complete failures, but the one thing you had going for you was your dedication." She clasped his shoulder and smiled awkwardly. "No matter how many times you humiliated yourself, you never gave up on world conquest, and now that you have, well, I just don't have any reason to stick around."
Drakken sighed and looked up at her with a weak smile. "No, I understand, Shego. I knew this day would come." He rose slowly from his desk. "Don't go yet. I've prepared something for this moment—just a little token of my gratitude."
He flew to the stairs and bounded up them three at a pace.
"N-no! Dr. D, you really don't have to . . . do that."
Drakken was already gone, his laughter echoing down the corridor.
"Ugh!" Shego groaned.
Why does he always get so emotional about these things? Can't he see he's just making it worse? And what was he saying about external validation? Did he really want to conquer the world so it would validate him? No, he's just trying to make me pity him . . . and he's doing a good job.
With a heavy gait, Drakken returned to the lab bearing a bulky metal case under his arm and a green-tinted visor above his brow. Shego folded her arms around her waist and gave a sidelong glance at the case as Drakken opened it. He held aloft a metal belt with six canisters attached to it, letting its silvery luster shimmer against the eerie light of the lab.
"Behold, Shego, my Cell Rejuvenating Super Serum! A few milliliters of this will supercharge your cellular reproduction, healing even the fatalist of wounds."
Shego took the belt and haphazardly held it up to eye-level. "Yeah, um, Dr. D, don't take this the wrong way, but—are you insane?! Why would I ever put your drugs in my body? You're a mad scientist, not a pharmacist. Even a mad pharmacist would be better."
"Mock me if you wish, Shego, but if you were on death's door you wouldn't trade an ounce of that serum for a billion dollars."
"Uh-huh, and what are the side-effects?"
Drakken chuckled nervously. "Oh, well, too much of it could be lethal, of course, but in moderate doses it's completely safe, I assure you."
"And what is a moderate dose?"
"One syringe. Each canister contains three."
"Hm . . . I don't know about this, Dr. D. Did you test it on yourself?"
"Indeed, and as you can see, I'm perfectly fine."
"Yeah, that's debatable."
Drakken clenched his fists. "Argh! Listen, Shego. I spent years perfecting that formula. If it doesn't work, then my name isn't Dr. Drakken."
"Yeah, your name isn't Dr. Drakken."
He scowled at her. "A little gratitude would be appreciated, especially now that you're about to leave me forever."
Shego held up her hands defensively. "Alright, alright. Thanks for the super-soldier stims. Now what's up with the shades?"
He removed the visor from his brow and shoved it onto Shego's face. "See for yourself."
A small interface popped up in the corner of her vision. It listed several options for holographic training simulations.
"Oh, cool! A combat simulator."
"Not just any combat simulator, Shego. A neurologically invasive combat simulator."
Shego quickly took off the visor. "Uh, I'm no scientist, but that sounds pretty terrible."
"It emits artificial brainwaves that stimulate the sensory nerves to provide extremely realistic combat scenarios."
"In other words, when I punch your holograms, I'll feel it and when they punch back—"
"It'll hurt like the dickens."
Shego raised her brow. "Right . . . Does it have a hologram of you?"
"Well, yes, but it's for troubleshooting purposes only."
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thanks, Drakken! This is the best gift you've ever given me."
"Oh! heh-heh, don't mention it."
He hugged her timidly and returned to his desk. Shego stared at him for a moment, anticipating some protest, but he had already busied himself with his paperwork. With a quiet sigh, Shego threw the visor into her suitcase and clasped the Cell Rejuvenation Belt around her waist. Somehow it fit perfectly, although she had no idea how Drakken knew the width of her waist.
She grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door, her shoulders somewhat slumped. "Alright, Dr. D, I'm headin' out. Working with you has been great. Uh, really great actually—maybe even the most fun I've had in my life."
Drakken leaned back in his chair and sighed. "Yes, these past five years have been exhilarating, haven't they? The defeats, the . . . near-victories—there was something special about each one of them."
Maybe that's because we experienced them all together. . . .
"But like all things, our time together must come to an end. Farewell, Shego."
She trembled slightly and forced a smile. "Yeah, I guess so. Bye, Drakken."
Her eyes dashed from the door to her former boss. "I-I'm leaving now."
Drakken furrowed his brow, causing his scar to contort somewhat grotesquely. "Yes, so you are."
She approached the exit, which opened automatically, and put one foot through the doorway. "Alright. I'm walking out the door."
"Yes, I can see that."
"I'm heading out. You'll probably never see me again."
"Yes, I'm aware of that."
"Okay. Well, bye."
Shego stepped through the archway and the steel door slammed shut behind her. She quickly poked her head back inside and saw Drakken sitting stoically at his desk.
"You sure you don't have one last doomsday plan in that bad, blue head of yours?"
Drakken gripped the edge of his desk with a painful grimace. "Yes, Shego, I'm sure."
"Oh, okay. Well, if you ever have an evil side job you need—"
"Shego, are you leaving or not?!"
She froze, then nodded. "Yeah, I-I'm going." She waved meekly and through quivering lips said, "Bye, Drew."
The door slid close once more and she swallowed painfully. "I guess that's it."
Slowly she made her way down the mountainside towards the coast, periodically looking back at the lair's sinister silhouette. If Drakken had rushed down the hill, begging for her to come back she probably would have agreed, but she couldn't change her creed and become a model citizen overnight.
"How did you give it up?" she murmured. "I wish I could too, but . . . I just don't care about anyone. It's not hatred. I just feel . . . nothing."
Shego shook her head. "Pull it together, girl. Your new boss is waiting."
As she neared the ocean, she expected to see the chopper that had been dispatched to pick her up, but it was nowhere in sight. The island was silent, save for the waves crashing against its rocky crags. She decided to walk along the edge of the bluff and watch the waves slowly wear away the cliffside. For the longest time she had thought the lair a dark, dreary place, but now as she looked upon it one last time, she thought it beautiful, even serene.
I wonder if Drakken has seen this part of the island. Has he walked along this bluff or down in that cove?
Indeed, there was an inlet just below her. She left her suitcase in the grass and scaled down the cliff before stepping onto the sand. The cove was a half-circle of stone with jagged peaks protruding from the sea at both ends. Here the waves did not crash but quietly crawled back and forth. It was a strange feeling. Shego had frequented many beaches in her day, but those had been resorts—full of people she tried to ignore. This cove was silent. She was utterly alone and at peace. In fact, she thought it was the first time in years she had found any semblance of peace. Slowly, all the pressure and heartache of the day melted away as she breathed in the salty air.
"This place," she whispered, "has it been here all along?"
She stepped into the water with a confident smirk. "Well it's mine now—my little sanctuary." She dipped her hand in the inky sea. "It feels like I could pour myself out into these waters."
She peered down at her marine reflection, haloed by the moon. Even that silver orb seemed more radiant now. It was bright, pure, almost feminine, yet as she looked more closely, she noticed its pockmarked surface of countless craters. Suddenly, she felt disgusted, like a worm was squirming inside her chest and she was forced back onto the beach.
Shego decided to explore the rest of the cove, but her search was cut short when a light suddenly blazed down on her from above. It was a helicopter—her ride to her next assignment.
How did that chopper catch me by surprise? I guess this is what it's like to be Drakken—caught up in my own little world.
Somewhat embarrassed, Shego climbed back up the cliff and, grabbing her suitcase along the way, ran to the helicopter. She was greeted by a burly man in a gray jumpsuit.
"Professor Dementor eagerly awaits your arrival." he said curtly.
Shego looked at the lair one last time then down at the cove. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." She jumped on the chopper and watched the island shrink beneath her. "But I think part of me is staying behind."
