Have you ever fallen off a height? Have you felt time slowing down sadistically, death approaching without you being able to do anything to prevent it? Well, if you haven't, ask Umbra or Lumis what it is like. When you see either of them in the afterlife, that is!

Yes, they both died. (SPOILER AL... whoops, too late!)

At first, while plummeting, they tried to open their hidden parachutes, however, Marik telepathically paralyzed their hands, thus preventing them from doing so.

Terror struck them when, during that fall, they realized they were really going to die. 'MERCY, MASTER MARIK,' they screamed.

'You didn't do what you agreed to, incompetent meatbags,' their cruel master chuckled in their heads. 'Therefore, you don't deserve to live. Man up and face the consequences of your incompetence.'

Lumis wanted to further plead with Marik, however, before he could do so, his skull collided with the floor. Everything went dark.


Lumis weakly opens his eyes. His vision is blurry. The pain. The blood. The taste of metal in his mouth. This sucks. Right now, the only thing he wants is to go back to... wherever he was during the time between the end of his duel with Yugi and the present moment.

Despite his suffering, he manges to scan the place. Umbra is fallen next to him, most likely dead. People have gathered round, worried, pointing at him and talking. Simultaneously. Darn, why don't they just shut up? He thinks he spotted Mai's corpse somewhere too.

Oh, gosh, this hurts and sucks so badly. Why did he join the ranks of that madman?

Eventually, everything goes completely dark again.

Or does it? What is that white light over there? Is it... approaching?

Is it possible he's slowly entering... Heaven?

Nah, not a chance. After all he's done, there is no way. True, Marik was in his head all these years, but not to the extent of him being able to claim that he didn't commit all those crimes on his own free will. Besides, even before starting to serve Marik, he had already done pretty horrible stuff in his life.

The light has come pretty close by now. To his surprise, Lumis realizes that it's an entity. A ghost? Well, it sure looks like ghosts in cartoons. It is white and has a ghost tail. Its upper body is bulky and its face looks like that of a bald man with a mustache. He's wearing strange, rubbery armor and shoulder pads.

A song is heard. Lumis would swear it is an alternate version of the opening song of a cartoon show from the 80s.

If there's something strange, in your neighbourhood...

Guess who it is? (GHOST NAPPA!)

Is it something weird? And it don't look good...

Guess who it is? (GHOST NAPPA!) Here we go!

Vegeta-geta-geta-geta-geta-geta...

(At this point, during the instrumental solo, Lumis would swear that he saw Seto Kaiba, the former world champion, dressed as a rock star, holding a microphone, falling on his knees and screaming, as if he was on LSD or something, 'Screw the vagina, I have a vagina, screw the vagina, I have a vagina, screw the vagina, I have a vagina, screw the vagina, I have a vagina...' Then the song goes on.)

Come on! Sing this! Clap, ladies, clap!

Vegeta-geta-g-g-g-geta...

At this point, Lumis decides to interrupt... whatever this is. He jumps to his feet, having forgotten about all his previous wounds, as if he had never fallen off a height to begin with, as if he wasn't near death, and extends his arm forward, as a way of drawing Nappa's attention. 'Whoah, wait a minute. I think you've mistaken me for someone else. My name is not Vegeta.'

Nappa gasps. (By the way, the background is still dark, though both Lumis and Nappa can see each other perfectly.) 'Oh, sorry, my bad,' the bald ghost scratches his head.

He turns around, about to leave, with Lumis looking at him with a blank expression.

However, instead of leaving, he turns around again. 'Are you sure you are not Vegeta?'

'Yes,' Lumis nods.

Silence. Nappa scratches his head again. 'Are you absolutely sure that you are not Vegeta?'

'Yes,' Lumis sighs.

'Are you 100% absolutely sure that you are not Vegeta?'

'YES!'


Yugi (in his Yami form) is standing at the edge of a cliff, gazing at the majestic sunset, with his multicolored, freaky hair waving gracefully, even though no wind is blowing.

'Sigh,' he actually speaks the word rather than just sighing. 'Another 25 chapters, another season gone by, another season finale special. However, almost nobody reads this fanfic. I wonder why.'

A female voice causes the person who became the Duel King in another timeline to turn around. It's Rebecca (in her Season 4 teenage form). 'Perhaps because it is a 'what if' scenario regarding a 20 year old anime and, moreover, not a really interesting 'what if' scenario.'

Yugi looks at her with his arms still crossed and a blank expression for a while. He blinks. 'Who are you, kid? Do I know you, kid? I can't understand a word that comes out of your mouth, kid.'

'What are you talking about, Yugi?' Rebecca cries, annoyed. 'I'm Rebecca Hawkins, the granddaughter of Professor Arthur Haw...'

'Hey, Joey,' Yugi calls out, unnecessarily cupping his hands around his mouth.

The blond duelist appears, seemingly out of nowhere. 'Nyeh?' (Translation: What do you want, Yug?)

Yugi points at Rebecca. 'Have you ever seen this kid? I can't understand a word she's saying.'

'This is ridiculous,' Rebecca shrieks.

'Nyeh,' Joey declares. (Translation: No, I haven't seen her either, Yugi. And I can't understand a word she says either. Unfortunately, I don't speak kid.')

'I don't speak kid either,' Yugi sighs. 'It seems we'll never find out what this kid is trying to tell us.'

'How the hell do you understand Joey's stupid nyeh sounds when you can't understand my fully articulate speech?' Rebecca screams.

'Hi, guys. And kid!' Tea shows up. Her voice is clearly that of a man trying to sound like a woman.

'Tea! Thank God you're here,' Rebecca cries. 'Can you back me up? Yugi and Joey are trying to mess with me. They claim they have never seen me before and they can't understand what I'm saying.'

Tea scratches her head. 'OMG, even with the power of friendship, a power even greater than Chuck Norris, I can't understand what this unknown kid is saying,' she declares.

'YOU ALL ARE ASSHOLES,' Rebecca screams and walks away.

'Nyeh?' Joey asks. (Translation: What do you think that kid just said?)

'I think she said she's a kiddy kid and loves us very much,' Tea guesses.

'I'm super special awesome,' Yugi says, for no apparent reason.


'Are you completely totally entirely 100% super absolutely...'

'I TOLD YOU I'M NOT THE FUCKING VEGETA!' Lumis snaps.

Silence. Lumis is breathing heavily. Nappa blinks. And then... he bursts into laughter. 'Oh, good one, Vegeta. I almost believed you for a moment!'

Lumis facepalms.

Oblivious to that, Nappa drags him over to a tv screen, which also is totally visible despite the dark background. 'So, Vegeta,' he resumes talking, enthusiastically. 'As I have told you many times lately...'

'I just met you,' Lumis sighs.

'Don't interrupt me, Vegeta,' Nappa says with a serious expression. 'So, as I have told you many times lately, I'm pursuing a career as a director. So I have made this movie. I want you to watch it and tell me whether any Hollywood producer could be interested.'

'Do I have a choice?' Lumis sighs in resignation.

As if he didn't hear that last comment, Nappa presses a button on a remote control he produced out of nowhere.

Marik and Yami Mokuba appear on the screen.


Marik and Mokuba are in a dark, gloomy place. Lumis, who is watching them through the screen, can tell that it's an underground place (probably somewhere in Egypt).

'Ladies and gentlemen,' Marik unnecessarily taps a hammer on the desk. 'May I announce the beginning of our new evil council.'

'There are no ladies here, Marik,' Mokuba points out.

'Hi,' Pegasus happens to greet them at that moment.

'There are only dudes here,' Mokuba carries on, oblivious to that.

'What about Zorc, Florence?' Marik wonders. 'He's genderless. So, technically, he's not a dude.'

'I want to destroy the world,' the gargantuan, black entity declares. Laughtrack is heard.

'Not yet, honey,' Mokuba comforts him. 'First, we must defeat Yugi Moto.'

'Speaking of whom, may I present to you my new ingenious plan,' Marik unnecessarily taps the hammer again. 'The plan to defeat Yugi Moto once and for all.'

'Which is?' Mokuba boredly asks, knowing that, just as the previous plans, this plan, too, is doomed to failure.

'We shall resurrect the most evil person that has ever existed,' Marik answers.

Without bothering asking who that person is, Mokuba asks instead, 'And since when can you resurrect dead people?'

'You don't believe me, huh?' Marik raises an eyebrow. 'Well, I have found a way. A magic amulet. I tried it and it works. If you don't believe me, look over there. Lumis and Umbra, my two henchmen who died in the last chapter, are now alive.'

Mokuba looks where his partner is pointing towards. Lumis and Umbra are standing there indeed.

'Hello, earthlings,' Lumis says.

'Hi,' Umbra adds.

'Greetings from the Moon,' Lumis carries on.

'Umm,' Mokuba scratches his head. 'Aren't you angry with the guy who killed you one chapter ago?' (Points at Marik.)

'No,' Lumis shakes his head. 'On the Moon, our motto is forgive and forget.'

'YOLO,' Umbra cries and gives a thumbs up, for no apparent reason.


'Wait,' Lumis (the one watching) cries. 'Are those me and Umbra over there? Why are we talking in those stupid voices? And why are we talking about the Moon all the time?'

'Sshh,' Nappa places a finger on his mouth. 'Be quiet, Vegeta.'


'Unfortunately, this amulet can be used only twice,' Marik raises a finger. 'But it's ok. After using it once to check whether it works, I can now use it one more time. And I will do it, to resurrect the most powerful and malicious magician in Hades, a being so powerful that will wipe out Yugi Muto in an instant. MHAHAHA...'

Mokuba interrupts his partner's evil laugh, with a bored expression and his arms crossed. 'And where is that amulet right now?'

Marik gasps and looks around. 'Well, it was right here...'

'Hi again, guys,' Pegasus raises his hand. 'While you were talking about boring stuff, I found that voodoo amulet on Marik's desk, borrowed it, went outside and performed a magic ritual to resurrect my wife.'

Silence. Marik's and Mokuba's jaws drop in frustration.

'DIMWIT!' Marik finally yells. 'You wasted our one and only chance to defeat Yug...'

'Say hi to my friends, Cecelia,' Pegasus continues, oblivious.

'Brains,' Cecelia drawls. Her skin is rotten. Pegasus hasn't noticed, but she's resurrected as a zombie.

'Brains,' Bonz cries, delighted. (Translation: What a babe!) Apparently, he has been here all this time, but he didn't have any lines to say. His eyes turn into hearts in an anime gag manner.

Cecelia turns to him. 'Brains,' she cries, her blank, zombie eyes turning into hearts too. (Translation: What a lovely lad!)

Holding hands, Cecelia and Bonz walk away.

'Cecelia,' Pegasus gasps. 'How could you? I thought we were each other's true love.'

'I'm bored,' Zorc whimpers. 'When will we destroy the world?' (Laughtrack.)

'It's all over now,' Marik sighs, lowering his eyes. 'It seems I will never defeat Yugi Moto.'

'You can go ahead and destroy the world now, Zorc,' Mokuba carries on in his partner's place, equally disappointed. 'We don't care anymore.'

'Oh, thanks, guys,' Zorc cries, excited. 'Here I go...'

Mokuba's eyes widen. 'No, wait, Zorc, we were just kiddi...'

An explosion ensues and the whole universe is erased. Zorc is now alone, with a black background behind him.

'Yaay! I have destroyed the world! My lifelong goal has been fulfilled!'

Five seconds pass, with the gargantuan being casually looking around.

'Ok, I'm bored now,' Zorc talks to himself. He looks around some more. 'Hey, guys, can you reappear, so that I can redestroy you?'

No response.

'Umm, guys?'


Lumis finds himself back on the floor, slowly dying. Umbra and Mai are still lying at either of his sides. The people that have gathered round are still here.

'So, this is what a near death experience hallucination is like,' the short man mumbles before he dies.