News about Kara winning her award spread fast, both in her family and in the journalist community at large. Eliza sent flowers and even visited for a weekend to spoil Kara. Alex and Kelly joined the couple for dinner when Cat insisted on celebrating and we invited to other subsequent celebrations. Kara got calls to do interviews on winning the prize again as well as the newfound boost that the story received. Lena knew that this was the price of fame that Kara truly hated: all eyes on her as Supergirl was easy, but all eyes on Kara Danvers was something Kara never learned to handle, and it always felt foreign to her. Lena offered her advice from her years of experience and Cat offered her some professional advice of who to stay away from and which publications and outlets were more reputable.
As the month between Kara learning she had won and the lunch wore on, Kara and Lena discussed how they would announce that they were expecting a baby. It was Kara's idea that they eventually went with: Kara had been offered an interview with a larger news station and she knew they always ask about personal life unless explicitly told not to do so. She figured she could use that time to announce it and then they could do something cute for themselves on Instagram when it was already known to the larger public.
The day of the interview, which was done at the penthouse at Kara behest, Kara fidgeted as her make-up was done by someone Lena had hired while Alex watched the reporter set up her teams' equipment. When Kara was finished, and they gave her a 5-minute warning she went over to Lena who was sitting in one of the chairs behind the screens so they could watch the interview from all the camera angles.
"You all settled?" Lena smiled and rubbed Kara's arm. "I am fine and if you don't stop picking your nails, they will know something is up." Kara realized she was picking at her cuticles and quickly put her hand at her sides.
"I am just nervous." Lena offered her wife and understanding smile. "I know you are, but this is about you and your work. You get to proud of that Kara. This doesn't have to become about us or our family. You get to be proud of yourself and everything you worked for."
"Well then I should for sure talk about you and the kids because if there is anything I am proud of it's my family." Lena rolled her eyes and kissed Kara gently, trying to not smudge her make up, "you are a sap. Now go sit down. I will be right here." Kara went and took her seat, allowing for the lighting guy to adjust the lighting for where she was sitting. Alex took a seat next to Lena and they both watched as Kara and the reporter made small talk while they were waiting for the lead in from the studio. They didn't say anything to each other, just a brief shared look of anxiety mixed with some excitement. They watched as the reporter asked Kara about the award, what it felt like to win the second time and spent time allowing Kara to spotlight the story that led to this moment.
"Now, in the article you gave your readers a rare glimpse into your background and family life before you even came to National City. What about this situation made you feel like now was the time to share that?" Kara's smile changed a bit, but not enough to suggest she was upset by the question.
"I am sure a lot of people were surprised by that information I shared. As for why I did it and why now: it felt like the right time. My previous work was about topics that had virtually nothing to do with my life so putting my story out there would've felt dishonest. Speaking with Victoria, felt familiar in a tragic way. While our circumstances were different and the eras were years apart, we both watched our family leave us in ways we had no control over. We both had to find peace after chaos and we both needed to find reasons to believe in the goodness of people again. I told some of my story to her and in this article because unlike all the other times, keeping it a secret would've felt dishonest."
"The part in your article where you mention forgiving your parents and subsequently yourself, was something that readers seemed to have the strongest reaction to, I know I certainly did. Does winning this award add to that feeling of closure for you?"
Kara paused and Lena worried for a moment that the reporter went to deep, too fast, but eventually Kara tilted her head back up and answered.
"You know, until Victoria said it, I never once thought I needed to forgive my parents. I mean they died saving my life, who can be mad at that? Of course, it never dawned on me that I could be grateful for them saving me and madder than hell that they 'left'. Those two feelings could exist at the same time, and both be true. I of course had mourned their loss before, but I don't think I ever tapped into my whole grief. So I cried, but never dug deep enough to feel closure, until she told them it was ok for forgive them for dying and forgive myself. That told my brain that we had permission to access that very deeply held pain and let it go. I would like to think that my parents would be very proud of the things I have accomplished, including this award. However, they would be far prouder of the things in my life that I can't fit on my mantle. They would be proud I had found love; they would've been amazing grandparents and spoiled my kids rotten and they would've loved seeing me happy. So, for me, that is why I forgave them for leaving: they gave their lives so I could all those things that you can't fit on the mantle. For that, I will always hold their memory in my heart and that's the closure I needed. Awards are nice, but the closure I needed came long before the news broke of my winning this award again." Lena had to give Kara credit: she held it together for the majority of that answer, only letting silent tears fall and having a few moments when her voice broke.
"You certainly have a lot of those moments you mentioned: your career is flourishing, you are often heard saying that you are lucky enough to have married your best friend, and you both adopted your daughter recently. I think most people would consider that a very blessed life." Kara smiled, more genuinely this time.
"Oh I am definitely blessed and at no point in my life did I ever think that I would be this lucky. You hope for certain things, sure, but I don't know what I ever did in my life to deserve the life I have now. I mean hell, I considered myself very lucky that Lena wanted to be my friend. I didn't dare hope for more than that until it became clear that we were both dancing around the topic of wanting more. And then of course now that we have Charlie, our lives our loud and messy and I love every second of it. I count the day lost if my shirt isn't covered in food by the time I leave the house."
"Was adoption always on the table for you or was it spur of the moment?"
"Little bit of both. Both Lena and I are adopted, and we've had different experiences, but we both agreed that if we felt a connection to a child that needed a home, that we would consider adding to our family through adoption. Charlie showing up in our lives was tragic given the loss of her mother, but we both felt a pull toward her, and we both believe we can offer her the love of our family, while keeping her mother's memory alive as she grows up. That is the experience I had with being adopted and we want to re-create that for Charlie."
"Sounds like she is a very lucky little girl, and you beam talking about her so it would appear that going from a couple to a family of three suits you." Kara saw the opening and decided to take it.
"Lena and I both consider ourselves lucky to be her parents and being a family of three has been amazing, so hopefully in a couple of months becoming a family of 4 will be a seamless transition for all of us." Kara made eye contact with Lena, both of them smiling hard.
"You are adopting another child then?" Kara shook her head, still grinning wide. "In the future we might adopt again, but this time did IVF and Lena is just past the first trimester marker, so we are very excited about adding a new member to the family."
"Well then it has been an impressive year for you and your family. Congratulations to you both. How does Charlie feel about being a big sister?"
"She is over the moon, so hopefully that helps with any sibling jealous that can sometime pop up when kids are close in age. But otherwise she seems to be very excited and keeps patting Lena's stomach calling it 'Charlie's baby'."
"Well then it sounds like this year has been and will continue to be full of those moments your parents wished for you: those moments that do not quite fit on the mantle."
Kara smiled, "I think if they were here, they would definitely agree."
The reporter did her normal wrap up before throwing the feed back over to the studio. The reporter and team thanked Kara for the interview, thanked Lena for letting them temporarily invade their home and quickly packed up their equipment. When things were settled, Alex was playing with Charlie, while Lena crafted the post they would share on Instagram and twitter, knowing full well that not everyone in the city would watch the news so this covered their bases. Kara had taken a really beautiful picture that she shot in black and white, in which Charlie was hugging Lena as she got dressed so her slight belly was exposed, allowing Charlie to kiss it. The other photo showed their sonogram along with a onesie that read 'don't make me call my aunt' along with Lena's projected due date. Once posted, the couple chose to leave their phones in the other room, knowing that anything important would be told to Alex who could alert them, but otherwise they wanted to avoid their phones blowing up for one reason or another.
They watched as Alex played blocks with Charlie and the toddler squealed every time she knocked over what her aunt just built.
"For the record, this is exactly what your parents would've wanted for you Kara. It's what my mom would've wanted too. Hell it's what Jeremiah would have wanted. In the end, all they would've wanted for us would have been for us to be happy." Kara wrapped her arms around Lena and sighed contently.
"I think I want to buy them headstones. Give them a proper burial somewhere. Or make a plaque or something and put it somewhere nice. I don't have a place to visit and pay my respects and I want our kids to know they can go somewhere and talk to them if it makes them feel connected to them. Alex has that for Jeremiah, and I think I am ready to have that for my parents." Lena turned around in Kara's arms and ran her fingers across her wife's cheeks, taking note that there weren't tears rolling down her checks, but they were in the corners of her eyes.
"You know I am going to back whatever is going to help you, right? If you are ready to have that then that is what we are going to do
