I am so sorry for the long delay all. I have been studying for my license exam and then my mental health was not doing so hot for a while so I needed to take a break. Hopefully this makes up for it a bit.
Roughly two months had passed since they had announced that Lena was pregnant, and the couple had enjoyed a fairly normal time in those months; or as normal as they could have asked for. Since the incident with Morgan, people have largely left Lena alone because if nothing else, they had no interest in feeling the wrath of Kara who they had no doubt would make them regret ever coming after her family in any form. The young CEO still dealt with some issues in the board room, but as she explained to Kara: old men wanting to throw their weight around was nothing new to her and was easily silenced. Supergirl duties had been fairly normal and almost all of it was man made issues without much of it involving alien activity. Charlie had continued to settle more into family life with the unconventional couple and appeared to be thrilled about the incoming new sibling.
The couple decided to find out the gender of the baby, despite them both agreeing that this was something that didn't much matter to either of them. Kara's up binging reflected the notion that gender was largely a construct of the society in which the child was raised. In short, if their child came to them later in life and said they felt they were something other than what they had been assigned at birth, they would work tirelessly to help them feel as though they were living a life that felt authentic to them. In the meantime, they both wanted to narrow down names and this allowed them to do exactly that. They had agreed to visit Eliza that following weekend after finding out, hoping to tell her, Alex and Kelly all at once.
The drive to Eliza's house was peaceful and Kara was glad that it allowed Lena time to nap in the backseat with Charlie. The baby was moving more now and sometimes that coupled with some other physical symptoms of pregnancy would keep Lena from getting restful sleep at night. Kara pulled into the driveway, taking note that Alex's car was already there. The car coming to a stop woke Lena up enough to allow her to begin to gather her things from the backseat while Kara unloaded their bags. Just as Lena was taking a few steps toward the house with Charlie in her arms she was met with Alex coming toward her with her arms held out, clearly asking to take Charlie from her.
"Aren't you not supposed to be lifting heavy things at this point?" Lena rolled her eyes and smiled, "my toddler hardly counts and besides its not like I am carrying her far." Alex shook her head and Lena finally allowed her to take the awake but sleepy toddler from her.
"Humor me kid. Besides I want to soak up my baby snuggles with my best girl." Lena shook her head in amusement as she followed Alex inside, where once Charlie saw Eliza she was fully awake.
"Ga'ma." The toddler chanted this as she made a mad dash for Eliza who scooped her up before she could reach the kitchen where she was cooking.
"Grandma missed her little one and you grew already. You are gonna me taller than mommy soon." Charlie clapped her hands at this and was perfectly happy to be carried into the kitchen to watch her grandmother cook.
Kara shouted a hello over her shoulder as she took the bags up to their room, before taking the last few things out of the car and settling into the house herself. She just sat down at the breakfast bar and took the water bottle offered to her by her wife when Alex broke the small talk.
"So, spill, do I get another niece or a nephew this time?"
"You have the worst patience out of anyone in this family." Alex shrugged off her sister's comment. "That may be, but we all want to know." Kara looked to Lena who nodded. They had not planned anything elaborate because big gender reveals was not something either woman wanted. Kara reached in her jacket pocket and pulled out the sonogram photos from their last appointment and before placing them in front of her sister, adopted mother and Kelly she smiled wide.
"Kal is no longer the last son of Kyrpton." Kara took her hand away and allowed her family to look at the newest pictures of the baby as they all lost their collective minds while Kara pulled Lena close to her and let her hand settle on the much more visible bump.
"Kara that's awesome! I mean we would've been thrilled about a girl too, but that is such amazing news. Congratulations! Have you guys thought of names yet?" Kara rested her chin on Lena's shoulder and smiled, "we are still going back and forth, but we aren't planning on telling anyone. We want something to be a surprise." The rest of the family didn't seem to mind that news much and were still overjoyed at the new family member they were getting in a few months. They all fell into their normal routine as the excitement settled. Lena unpacked their things upstairs and Kara got Charlie ready for her afternoon nap, eventually setting her in her playpen downstairs in the living room where someone could easily scoop her up if need be. Not long after that, Lena joined her downstairs and gently pulled on Kara's hand, gesturing toward the backdoor.
"I have a something I want to show you." Kara followed her wife and took note that everyone else was staying inside and strangely not making a comment about them leaving the room. Usually, Alex makes a joke about them sneaking off to make out and Eliza can be heard telling her to leave her sister alone. Not this time, however.
"I have never seen you so excited to go outside before. Must be some surprise." Kara walked with her wife toward the edge of where Eliza's property reached the wooded land behind the house. As they got closer, Kara noticed something there that she never remembered seeing before and with each step closer she could sort of make out what she was looking at. When Lena eventually stopped walking, she gave Kara a moment to let what they were looking at sink in. At the edge of the property, where there had been nothing months prior, there now stood and fairly unassuming rock that to anyone else looked like nothing, but if they cared to look closer, embedded in the rock was a plaque dedicating the spot to Kara's parents.
Kara wasn't sure which emotion to latch onto because so many were running through her head. And while she tried to land on one, Lena gripped her hand a little tighter.
"You said you were ready to give them a final resting place and buy headstones. I know I did it without asking you, but I wanted to do this for you somewhere where you could visit them without the press being nosey and put this place somewhere were you already find peace and connection to people you want to hold onto. If you want to buy a plot for them in a cemetery in NC we can do that, but I thought making space for them here would be more meaningful for you."
Kara took a few steps close so she could read the details of the plaque more exactly and from behind her Lena offered, "If I used your father's given name it would've been a bit of a dead giveaway so I changed a bit for the engraving, but the reason this took so long to make is because I was able to engrave his name within the stone, but I had to use my technology to do it." Kara titled her head as she looked at the names and Lena gently encouraged her to take her glasses off. Kara quickly removed them from her face and handed them to Lena to hold before looking back at the stone. Without her glasses in place Kara was able to see through the stone and see exactly what Lena was speaking about. Underneath the stone that only humans could read was an engraving that had both her mother and her father's name written in Kara's native language.
Kara seemed to be frozen for a few moments and didn't register much until Lena's hand was felt reaching out and touching her cheek. She hadn't realized that she had begun to cry and that Lena was in fact brushing stray tears away until she felt her wife's hand touch her skin. She eventually turned into the touch and was facing Lena.
"How did you do all this? How did you even know the correct symbols for their names? Almost no one knows them anymore."
"I asked your mother's AI, which while it doesn't remember everything, that was in her database and I was able to basically get a print out of it. Is it ok? If you were hoping for something different we can order whatever you want the second we get home." Kara waved her hands in front of her face and Lena stopped talking, taking in the sight of her wife who now had steady tears coming down her face.
"I think it's perfect and more importantly its private. I can come out here whenever I want and sit with them. You put this in a place I already feel safe and that means more to me than anything we could have bought in the cemetery in National City. Their names are perfect and I can't begin to thank you for finding a way to include their real names in a way that only I can see." Lena felt her anxiety melt away and she felt Kara kiss her gently before pulling back.
"Will you be ok if I stay out here for a while, like just me?" Lena offered her wife a soft smile, "you don't have to feel bad for wanting some time alone here Kara. I'll be inside if you need me ok? Otherwise take your time." Kara kissed Lena once more before the blonde turned back toward the tombstone Lena had constructed for her parents. As for Lena, by the time she made her way back to the back porch of the property, Alex and Kelly were both waiting for her.
"She ok?" Lena shrugged her shoulders in response, "depends on what you mean by ok. How do you normally feel when you visit your dad's grave?"
"Fair enough, but was she ok with how you designed it and all that?" Lena smiled and rubbed her hand along her back, clearly uncomfortable, "she said it was perfect and she likes that it is here. Gives her a place to mourn, talk to them, celebrate their lives on the days it doesn't hurt as bad that they are gone. And she can take the kids here and show them, Charlie especially, that we can still love and honor the people that we lose." The three of them watched from a distance for a while before Lena pointed toward the door.
"Let's give her some space. She asked for some time alone and she knows where to find us if she needs us. Besides, I don't know if you ever have seen her do some of the more ritualistic things she was raised on, but mourning practices for her culture can be hard to watch. So, for all our sake we should head inside." Lena knew Alex was hesitant to leave Kara alone when she is clearly hurting, but she also knew that Lena was right, so she pushed that desire to protect aside and followed Kelly and Lena in the house. Once back in the house Lena sat on a stool at the counter and helped prep a salad for dinner and talked about baby things with her mother-in-law, every so often glancing outside to check on her wife. This went on until Charlie woke up from her nap and since Alex was upstairs, she scooped her niece up and brought her down to Lena. Once with her mother the toddler looked around and then looked up at Lena.
"Where mommy?" Lena smiled and kissed the toddler's head. "Mommy is outside doing something important right now, but she will come inside soon and when she does we can eat dinner. I think grandma made some stuff special for you." The toddler seemed unphased by the promise of her favorite foods and instead began to wiggle out of Lena's arms and making it clear she wanted down. Lena gently placed her on the floor and the toddler made a mad dash for the back door and stopped when she could see her mother through the windows.
"Mommy come inside. With Charlie." Lena sighed and got up from her chair, walking over to where Charlie was still standing. "I promise love she will come inside soon. Mommy is just a little sad and needs some time alone. Then she will come inside and give you so many snuggles." Lena ran her hand through Charlie's hair and the toddler stayed unmoving, keeping her eyes locked on her mother outside. After some time of this Alex jumping, "hey kiddo, how about I go check on mommy for you?"
The toddler shook her head and held her arms up to her aunt, "Charlie come." Alex looked to Lena, silently asking if it was ok and Lena nodded, "you can go with your Aunt, but you need to stay calm ok, be gentle with mommy."
"Gentle mommy. Gentle Elsa." Lena smiled and had to laugh, "yes love, gentle with mommy, just like we are gentle with Elsa." Alex scooped up the toddler and went outside, walking slowly toward Kara in a way that gave the hero ample warning that she was about to not be alone in the yard anymore. When they were about 10 feet from her Alex whispered Kara's name to both get her attention and also make sure it was ok for them to be there. Kara stood up from her spot and turned around, calling Charlie toward her which allowed Alex to let go of the little girl's hand. Alex knew Kara was not a big fan of crying in front of others, then again who was a fan of that, but she picked up Charlie without hesitation and gave the little girl a kiss on her cheek.
"Mommy sad?" Charlie put her hands on Kara's face and called attention to the tears and Kara smiled back at her, "yes baby, mommy is sad, but you know what? Momma made me this place here at grandma's where I can sit and talk to my mommy and daddy who aren't here anymore. And that makes me less sad." Charlie looked down and saw more clearly what Kara was sitting in front of and she again began to wiggle and point to the ground. Kara set her gently down and watched as Charlie went and sat down in front of the stone. Kara was not sure what she was expecting, but this certainly was not it.
"Charlie, what are you doing baby?" Charlie pointed at the stone and very plainly answered her mother, "talking mommy's mama and daddy." Kara had slowed her tears, but this very heartfelt display seemed to start them all over again. Alex stayed back a bit while Kara went and sat next her daughter.
"Charlie, mommy loves you so much for wanting to come and sit out here with me, but how about we go inside and find mama and Elsa. I bet dinner is almost ready." Charlie shook her head and stayed where she was and Kara decided not to push. They waited in silence for a bit before Charlie looked up at her mother.
"They not talking." Kara smiled through her tears and shook her head, "no baby, they aren't. My mommy and daddy died a long time ago so they can't talk to me like you are right now. But, sometimes people make special places where they can sit and pray or talk to people they loved who passed away. That is what this is. Mama built this for me so I can sit and talk to my parents, but I talk to them in my heart, that way they can talk back without words." Charlie listened and nodded along with her mother's words before being quiet for a while. Eventually, she climbed in Kara's lap and snuggled into her mother's arms.
"And you know what baby? The nice thing about this is that you can come talk to my mommy and daddy any time you want. You and your brother can come out here and tell them stories, and read books to them or just tell them hi. Sometimes we are sad when we talk to people who died, but sometimes it's nice to just share our lives with them, cuz they are still watching out for us and they want us to be happy." Charlie nodded and stood up from her mother's lap and went over, gently patting the stone and saying in a very proud voice, "Charlie happy, mommy happy."
The toddler looked so pleased with herself and Kara couldn't help by smile sincerely at the gesture. Kara stood up and picked Charlie up with her, "thank you for telling them that love, I know they are very happy to know that you and I are happy. Now, should we go find mama? I bet she and Elsa are ready for dinner. The toddler clapped as they began to walk toward the house.
"Charlie hungry too." Kara kissed her head and listened to the toddler babble as they walked, eventually reaching the house and heading inside. Lena and Kelly were already sitting at the table and Eliza was just putting the last dish down. Alex volunteered to take Charlie to wash her hands and get her ready for dinner so Kara took her seat next to Lena and found comfort in her wife reaching out and gently holding her hand.
"I tried to keep her inside, but she was rather insistent in joining you. I thought it might be good for her to see how we honor people we lost, even though she doesn't exactly understand it all yet. Was that ok?" Kara leaned over and kissed Lena gently, "of course it was ok. She can always come out there to get me or sit with me. I told her she and her brother could always come out there if they want to talk to my parents. This time she assured them that both mommy and Charlie were happy." Lena smiled and squeezed Kara's hand gently.
"You know you don't have to pretend to be happy right? She just doesn't want you to be sad, but it is ok for her to see us cry Kara; we can show her young that emotions aren't something we need her to ever hide in our home." Kara thought about her wife's words and everything she had been feelings while outside and she offered a reassuring squeeze to Lena's hand.
"I said it the article and I know you and I have spoken about it: the thing that hurt the most all these years later wasn't the loss itself, it was not having anywhere to put that grief. You gave me a spot to put it, to feel it and while allowing those feelings to be felt is sad and painful, just knowing that I don't have to carry that grief everywhere I go is huge Lena. So yeah, I am sad, and I do miss them and I wish more than anything they were here to meet you and meet their grandchildren. However, I had a family waiting inside the house for me to come back in to have dinner with and that family includes my beautiful wife, who is pregnant with our son, our very precocious daughter and the family who I grew up with and no part of that sentence is sad to me Lena. It's all the things that make me happy. Besides, one day, Charlie is going to want a place to put her grief and I don't want her to wait till she's my age to know its ok to ask for help finding that space. If all else fails, her mama can build her that space, just like she did for me." Kara smiled a genuine, if not slightly sad smile and Lena returned it.
"I'd build her, you and every single one of our kids whatever they need. I just want you to have places where you don't have to be ok 100% of the time. I love you even when you are sad and I very much hope you know that." Kara smiled and nodded, offering Lena one more kiss as Alex returned to the table with Charlie. The toddler was rather insistent on sitting with Kara and not in her highchair and Kara didn't try hard to convince her otherwise. Instead, she let her daughter sit in her lap, casually dropping food for the dog who was under the chair and soaking up the warm feeling in her heart that had easily replaced the overwhelming grief that had once been there. The loss was still there, still palpable, but for the first time in many years, Kara noticed that it was easily soothed by the genuine love coming from the toddler squirming in her arms and her family sitting around her reminding her of exactly what Lena had said: they loved her when she a still day, they loved her when she was a hurricane.
Well, the finale didn't give me most of what I wanted, but no finale ever has so that is not news. That being said, we still have fanfiction so on we go.
