The past couple of weeks had passed by without any major incidents. Franky had learned to manage her morning sickness, and avoid another trip to the hospital.
They'd all made adjustments to their schedules. Sometimes, Franky and Emily would come home from the restaurant early, or some days, the brunette would pick her up at school, and they'd come straight back to the house. Bridget had rearranged her schedule a bit as well, going in a bit earlier each morning so that she could leave early a couple of days each week, and be home to make supper. Her meals weren't nearly as fancy as Franky's, and sometimes she even just picked up takeout, but whatever she did, she made sure it was a night that the brunette had off from the kitchen.
The blonde felt Franky stir in her sleep again. She picked up her head to look at the clock on the bedside table. It was only two in the morning.
"Shh, baby. It's okay, I'm here." Bridget tried to soothe her.
The brunette had shared with her that she'd been having dreams about her mother. In particular, dreams about her mother trying to take the baby from her. From time to time, for as long as she'd known Franky, the younger woman would have dreams about her childhood. They'd subsided a bit after they'd been together a few months, and Franky had told her once that she thought this was because she was finally settled, and truly happy in her life. Bridget understood though, that something as life changing as a pregnancy could open up the floodgate of memories once again.
Franky didn't wake up, but let out a small sigh when the blonde gently rubbed her back.
The brunette had been staring at the ceiling for the past hour, waiting for the alarm to go off. She had briefly thought about getting up, but she was worried that if she did, she'd wake Bridget. She turned her head, and watched the older woman as she slept. Sometimes she still couldn't believe how lucky she was to have her, and Emily in her life.
"I can feel you watching me." The blonde smiled, and stretched as she opened her eyes for a second to glance up at Franky.
"You're beautiful." She loved seeing Bridget's face light up whenever she said that to her.
"Franky." She couldn't help but smile, and bury her face against the brunette's shoulder. She loved how the younger woman smelled. A mixture of body wash, shampoo, laundry detergent, and her.
"It's true." Franky moved her thumb back and forth over the blonde's hip where her hand rested.
"How are you feeling this morning?" It was Bridget's usual question most mornings now, but today she also used it to deflect the focus from herself. She knew how the brunette felt about her, but it still made her blush a bit.
"Alright." She never felt a hundred percent anymore, but the nausea was at a level that was more of just an annoyance most mornings.
She was glad that she had decided to use the medication the emergency room doctor had prescribed. She was into week ten of her pregnancy now, and a lot of articles she'd read had said that symptoms like morning sickness sometimes eased off after the first trimester. It was something she planned to ask Dr. Ryan about during the next appointment. While she was grateful to have the medication, she didn't want to take it for any longer than absolutely necessary.
"That's good." The blonde stretched up, and gave her a kiss. "You had a restless night."
"Mm, did I keep you awake?" Franky could deal with a restless night, but she'd feel bad if she was causing the other woman to lose sleep as well.
"Not really." While it was true that Bridget never really stayed awake for long, she'd been woken multiple times throughout the night by the brunette's tossing and turning.
"It's almost time to get up." Franky turned onto her side, and pulled the older woman in close. She loved these quiet moments with her wife.
"I don't want to. Let's both pull sickies, and just stay here all day." The blonde knew this wasn't possible. She had appointments all day, and Franky would never stay home for no reason.
"You want to spend the day in bed with me?" The brunette gave her a mischievous grin.
"Yes, but it's not like that." She let out a soft chuckle. "I just want to be close to you all the time now. I want to hold you, and know that you're okay. I want us all home, and safe."
"Is that so?" Franky said as she tucked a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear.
"Yes." Bridget pulled her in for a slow kiss. "You're having our baby," she said softly when their lips parted.
"I am." The brunette studied her face. She never wanted to stay in this bed more than she did right now, but right on cue, the alarm pulled her out of the moment.
"Ugh." The blonde reached behind her, and turned it off then quickly snuggled in against Franky again.
"We'll have breakfast," the brunette whispered as she placed a kiss below Bridget's ear, "then we'll go to work, and before you know it, it'll be time to come home. Em and I will be waiting here for you."
"Promise?" The older woman smiled. She loved that Franky was playing along with her.
"Mhm." The brunette nodded. "It's my favorite time of day, remember?"
"Yeah." She leaned in and stole another kiss.
They were both quiet as they heard Emily's door open, and her soft footsteps in the hallway. It was a fifty-fifty chance whether she'd come into their room, or go straight to the bathroom.
"Pitter patter," Franky said quietly as the young girl passed by their door.
"I can't wait for there to be two sets of pitter patters." Bridget smiled at her.
"Me either." The brunette grinned.
The blonde gave her one more kiss before she finally convinced herself to leave Franky's arms, and get out of the bed.
Bridget glanced behind her, and saw the younger woman rub her hand over her stomach once, then twice, as if saying good morning to the baby. She wondered how much longer it would be before it could say good morning back with a small kick.
"She's still asleep." Emily looked up at her aunt with a slight frown on her face.
Franky had fallen asleep on the couch at some point while the young girl was playing in her room. When Bridget had arrived home, she'd decided to take Emily, and go pick up something for supper rather than making noise by cooking in the kitchen. They'd just arrived back at the house.
"Yeah, she's tired, love. Go get washed up, and I'll put this out on plates for us." The blonde tapped her shoulder, indicating that she should go get ready to eat, and let Franky be for a few more minutes.
Bridget quietly took three plates from the cupboard, and set them out on the island. As she began to unpack the containers of food, she heard the brunette shift on the couch. She watched the younger woman for a moment, and saw her head twitch as if she was pulling away from something, or someone, then the fingers on her hand flexed open, and closed, then relaxed again. It was clear that Franky was having another one of her dreams. The blonde felt bad for her; she couldn't sleep properly at night, or during the day, it seemed.
"I don't know why the fuck you thought it would be a good idea to have a kid. You're going
to be a shit mother, just like you were a shit daughter." Franky's mother looked her up and
down with disgust.
"I was not a shit daughter! You never fucking looked after me like you should have!" The
brunette could feel the hot tears welling up in her eyes, but she refused to let this woman
see her cry; see the effect she still had on her.
"Who told you that? That shrink you're playing house with?" She let out a small chuckle
that echoed in Franky's ears. "She'll see who you really are soon enough. She'll see what a
mistake it was to ever think that she could make a family with you, and when she does,
she'll take your precious little Emily, and your new baby far, far away from you."
"No, no….no!" Franky shook her head. "I love them. She knows that."
"You know what? Why don't I make it easier for you, and just take this one right now?" She
reached out towards the brunette's stomach.
"Is Franky okay?" Emily had returned from her room, and heard the brunette mumble in her sleep.
"Yeah, love. She's just a bit restless. Happens to all of us sometimes." Bridget gave her a reassuring smile, as she took the last container out of the bag.
"Is it because the baby is moving?" The young girl walked over a bit closer to the sleeping woman.
"It's too small to feel it move yet." The blonde couldn't help but smile every time she heard her niece talk about the baby. She opened the fridge door, and peered inside to see what they could have to drink with their supper.
"I want to check."
Bridget heard what the young girl had said, but it took her a second to register what was about to happen.
"Em, don…" She looked around the edge of the door just in time to see Emily reach out and place her hand on Franky's stomach.
The brunette's hand shot down, and locked around the young girl's wrist with a strong grip.
Emily let out a yelp.
"That hurts! You're hurting me!" The young girl tried to pull her hand back.
Franky had seen her mother reach out to her in her dream, then felt something touch her stomach. It seemed so real. She reached down, and grabbed the woman's wrist. There was no way she was letting this monster take her baby.
The voice she heard though, wasn't that of her mother anymore. It was someone much younger, and scared.
The brunette could feel herself waking up, and she struggled to force herself to open her eyes. She could hear movement around her, and felt a tug on her arm.
When she finally opened her eyes, and focused her vision, she saw Emily standing in front of her, tears running down her face. Franky realized that she was still holding onto something, and glanced down. She saw her hand wrapped around the young girl's wrist, and immediately let go, as if she'd been burned.
"Em," she reached out, this time to try and comfort the young girl, "I'm sor-"
"You hurt me." Emily took a step back, out of the brunette's reach.
The words hit Franky like a punch in the gut, and she felt the tears begin to form in her eyes. Before she could say anything, the young girl turned, and sprinted down the hallway to her bedroom.
The whole thing had happened in seconds, and Bridget was left standing in the middle of the kitchen. She had watched Emily go into her room, then looked over at her wife.
"Go check on her," Franky said as she brushed away her tears with her fingers. She knew that the blonde would be torn as to which of them to go to first, so she made the decision for her.
When Bridget arrived at Emily's door, she saw the young girl curled up on her bed, facing the wall. The blonde could tell from the movement of her shoulders that she was still crying.
"Em?" Bridget said her name to let her niece know that she was there; she really didn't expect an answer. She took one of the small chairs, and sat down at the edge of the bed. "Can you turn over, love? I want to talk with you for a minute."
The young girl slowly turned over to face her aunt.
"She grabbed me." Emily said it as if she was having a hard time believing that it was real; that Franky could do something like that.
"I know, love." Bridget reached out and smoothed her niece's hair. "She didn't mean to. She was dreaming, and you startled her. It was just an involuntary reaction."
"What does 'involuntary' mean?" she asked quietly.
"It means that it's something your body does that you don't have control over. Like when you hear a loud noise, and you jump a bit, you don't mean to do that, right? It just happens." The blonde thought that this was the simplest example she could think of. "She didn't know who, or probably even what was touching her. If she'd known it was you, she would have never done it."
"It hurt." Emily looked down at her wrist.
"Let me have a look." Bridget rested her hand, palm up, on the bed, and the young girl held out her arm for her aunt to see. The blonde knew that Franky was strong. While she didn't see any signs of bruising, she believed that her arm did hurt. "It doesn't look too bad." Bridget rubbed her hand gently back and forth over Emily's wrist. She knew it probably wouldn't do anything for the pain, but it might comfort, or distract her a bit ."You were probably a little scared, too, yeah?"
"Yeah." The young girl nodded.
"You know, Franky loves you very much, and she's upset that she hurt you." Bridget continued to rub Emily's arm as she spoke, and felt her niece squeeze her hand.
"I know." She watched the blonde's hand for a moment. "I love her, too."
"I know you do." Bridget studied her face, trying to gauge if she was starting to feel a bit better. "Do you want to come out and have supper with us, or do you need a few more minutes here?"
"A few more minutes." Emily pulled her hand back in, and curled up a bit once more.
"Okay." The blonde stood, then bent over to place a kiss on the young girl's forehead. She thought it was probably better that Emily stay in her room a bit longer. It would give her a chance to talk to Franky.
When Bridget returned to the living room, she found the brunette sitting in the same spot as when she left, staring down at her hands.
"Baby." She sat down beside the younger woman, and placed a hand on her back.
"No." Franky shook her head. "Don't try to make me feel better about this. I just want to know if she's okay."
"Yes, she's okay. Her wrist looks fine. She's still a bit upset, and I think you frightened her more than anything." Bridget rubbed her back, and continued when the brunette didn't say anything. "I told her that you were having a dream, and she startled you, and you didn't know what was going on. If you'd known it was her, you wouldn't have grabbed her."
"If she has a bruise or anything…" Franky trailed off as she shook her head again. "I feel like I'm going to be sick."
"Franky, wait." The blonde put her hand on the younger woman's arm as she started to stand up. "Just sit with me, and take a deep breath." She waited while Franky followed her directions. "She is okay, I promise. She knows that you love her, and that this was an accident. She just wanted a few more minutes to herself, then she'll be out, okay?"
"I just feel like shit right now." The brunette wiped at her cheeks.
"I know you do, baby." Bridget rubbed her back once more. "You've got a good heart."
"I don't know if I can do this, Gidge." Franky took in a shaky breath.
"Do what?" she asked softly.
"Be a mom." The brunette looked over at the older woman for the first time since she'd sat down beside her.
"Franky." Bridget knew this was just the emotions of the situation talking. "You're already a mom, and you're amazing at it." She saw the other woman shake her head. "Yes, you are. No matter what Em calls us, we are filling the role of the parents in her life, and I have never, not even once for one second, questioned your love for her, or doubted your ability to fill that role. If I had, I wouldn't have shared custody with you, I wouldn't have married you, we wouldn't even be together at all, because the person in my life has to work in hers as well."
Franky swiped at a whole new batch of tears running down her cheeks.
"I just feel like such shit." She took in another shaky breath.
"I know, but she will forgive you, and you need to forgive yourself." The blonde placed a kiss on her shoulder. "Let's have some supper. I think we all need to step back from this for a bit."
She saw the brunette nod in agreement, and placed another kiss on her shoulder before she got up to return to the kitchen.
"Come to bed, baby." Bridget had just come out of the bathroom, and saw that Franky was still standing in the doorway of Emily's room, watching her sleep.
"I just…" The brunette shrugged, not knowing what to say.
"You need to see that she's okay. I know." She reached for one of Franky's hands, and laced their fingers together. "She's fine. She's asleep, and she spent most of the evening with us. Come to bed." Bridget repeated her earlier request, as she tugged gently on the younger woman's hand.
The blonde knew that while their evening had gone well after the incident, Franky and Emily hadn't really had a conversation about it. That was something that would happen in it's own time, when they were both ready.
"Okay." The brunette sighed as she reached for the doorknob, and pulled it closed quietly.
As they settled into bed, Bridget pulled her close.
"I love you," she said softly, as she placed a lingering kiss on Franky's lips.
"I love you, too." The younger woman returned the kiss, as she put her arm around the blonde.
Franky was having trouble falling asleep, even though she could hear Bridget's slow, even breathing, and feel the rise and fall of the blonde's chest against her. Usually, when she concentrated on these things, she was able to fall asleep fairly quickly, but not tonight. She'd been laying awake for about an hour when she heard their bedroom door open, then close quietly, and soft footsteps coming towards the bed. She figured Emily would be looking for Bridget tonight, but to her surprise, she felt a tug on the back of her shirt.
"Yeah, bub?" The brunette turned onto her back a bit so that she could see the young girl.
"I woke up, and can't get back to sleep. Can I get in bed with you?" Emily rubbed her eyes.
"Sure." Franky lifted the covers for her, and made room between herself and Bridget. She could tell that the young girl was tired.
"Auntie said you were having a dream when I woke you up." Emily had obviously been laying awake thinking about what had happened earlier.
"I was, yeah." The brunette probably would have picked a better time to have this conversation, but she was glad that the young girl was ready to talk.
"What was it about?" Emily played with Franky's wedding ring, twirling it on the brunette's finger. It was something of a nervous gesture for her to play with one of their rings or bracelets while they talked sometimes.
"Remember how I said my mom wasn't a good mom?" Franky wasn't exactly sure how to approach the subject, but she knew she wanted to be honest with her.
"Yeah. She didn't love you like a mom should." Emily remembered the conversation they'd had in the park a few months ago.
"That's right. Well, lately, since I've found out I'm having a baby, I've been having dreams about her, and she's telling me I won't be a good mom either. In my dream tonight, she was reaching out to take it out of my stomach, and take it away. I was scared." The brunette took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She didn't want to get overly emotional again at this hour.
"You're good at being a mom." Emily gave her a small smile, then snuggled in close. "So is Auntie Bridge."
"Thanks, bub." It was all Franky could manage to say before she felt the lump form in her throat. Emily had no idea how much the brunette needed to hear that.
When Bridget awoke the next morning, she saw that Emily was securely wrapped in Franky's arms. She'd only been drifting in and out of sleep the night before, and she'd heard the young girl come in, and then her conversation with the brunette that had followed. She was proud of them both for being able to be honest with each other about how they were feeling, and it had especially warmed her heart when Emily had told Franky that she was a good mother. Bridget knew that they could never replace Emily's birth mother, nor did they want to, but to hear the young girl imply that she thought of them in that way, made her very happy, and she was sure it went a long way in alleviating Franky's fears and doubts as well.
