All grammar errors are mine.
Chapter 2 - Auditions
Santana tapped on her phone screen. Her knee bounced under the table, crossing her legs to settle it. She'd read her email. Reviewed old text messages. Checked her social media accounts, tapping a thumbs up or heart icon to show support on the few updates since breakfast an hour ago. She glanced up at the wall clock to compare the time on her phone. Santana picked up the sound she hadn't heard in two years. Not since their amicable breakup, well she thought it civil. At least on the phone, Dani understood Santana's reasoning. Acceptance of an apology for being a ridiculous drama queen. Dani, revealing her desire for a break too. A nervous prickle ran up Santana's spine as she looked over to her ex as they shared a grin of recognition. Dani sweet innocent smile that made her eyes sparkle. Her hair natural black, with only the tips a shocking pink her favorite leather jacket, more worn from the New York winters. Simple words of "Hey", "Congratulations," "How ya been?" A welcoming embrace.
It was a reminder to another memory from the past. Now Elliott sat next to her at the table, not Kurt. Instead, Kurt stood next to the table with a video camera, recording each audition. That had been Brittany's idea to videotape each singer. Kurt volunteered when auditions conflicted with Brittany's scheduled dance class. Kurt's presence also gave credence to the room and NYADA band members taking part in a non-NYADA activity.
Dani sat with the musicians Kurt had assembled in NYADA's dance room. Her guitar strap sagged from her shoulders. Her skill at playing the guitar improved, not that she wasn't adept before. It was the technique she'd developed over the two years had changed.
This time the sign-up sheet had a real name 'One-Three-Hill' at the top, below a list of 15 men wanting to audition for the band. By late afternoon they'd audition all but one. They eliminated a few. The old washed up big hair leather-wearing rocker whose voice cracked when he tried to hit a high note. The timid young man trained in opera that couldn't quite get into the vibe of the Bruno Mars song he'd selected. The unwashed kid who wore an odd-shaped hat made from aluminum foil. He told Elliott that it kept the radio waves from invading his brain to scramble his thoughts. And the guy who grabbed his crotch in front of Santana offering her his services. Regrettably, he was one who could sing.
Using his pen to slide the sign-up sheet closer, "Our last one is Chandler Bing." Elliott turned to look at Santana, "Wasn't that a character on 'Friends'?"
"Yeah, but Rachel's Dads named her after Jennifer Aniston's character, so maybe it was common back in the day. I mean, look at me most people think my parents named me after the 70s rock band."
"You're not?"
"No, St Anne. Mother of the Virgin Mary."
"Oh. Ok. Right." Elliott mumbled. The irony of the Santana he knew meshing with Lopez's high expectations for their newborn daughter. Calling out, "Chandler Bing, shows us what you got."
A man entered the room. Wearing black denim jeans, an embroidered western shirt, with short brown hair and black horn-rimmed glasses, lumbered over to the stage. Handing the musicians' sheet music, he turned to look at Elliott and Santana. "Hi, my name is Roderick Meeks, not Chandler Bing." Followed by a light-hearted snicker, seeing no one getting his joke Roderick cleared his throat "I'll sing 'Mustang Sally.'"
"Roderick?" Santana shouted out.
Elliott leaned toward Santana, keeping his voice low, "You know him?"
"Yeah, he's from Lima,"
He dropped the pen from his hand, "Of course! Half of the theater people in the city are from Lima! Why question it?" his disbelief over yet another absurdity.
"What?"
"Never mind," waving her off, "Shows what you got, Roderick."
"No! Wait!" her hand on Elliott's arm. "Why the alias Roderick? I've heard you sing. I sang backup for you."
"Uh, yeah, well, Kurt thought it would be fun." Shrugging his shoulders, with a light slap to his thigh. "This way, I'm just another guy auditioning."
Kurt stepped from behind the video recorder, "Elliott, you will love this guy." Notes of enthusiasm filled his voice. "When Rachel and I worked with him in New Directions, he was almost the new 'Blaine.'"
Santana nodded, "Kurt's right. But Roderick has a warm, more soulful voice. Blaine is more pop."
Elliott, with a shrug of his shoulders, nodded, "Sure. Whatever. Let's hear what ya got."
Later the four sat in Santana's living room watching the video, from the yes list they'd whittled it down to two men, Roderick and Austin.
Kurt eager to promote his personal favorite, "I think Roderick has the edge, just on his voice."
Elliott, nodded "True, but he didn't move. No stage presence to speak of."
"Yeah, but he plays guitar, bass, and trumpet," Dani said. "That's an advantage. One less band member if I'm on keyboards, and he's on guitar."
Elliott extended his hand to point at the video of Roderick paused on the screen. "But we don't know how good of a guitar player is he? Basic chords, or can he play rhythm? And how often are we going to need a trumpet?"
"Well, maybe call him back to find out. I mean, it's not like we couldn't find another rhythm guitarist, or I couldn't play." Dani answered.
Not wanting to let an important decision slip without a counter-argument "Still, we'd need a keyboardist. Someone who knows how to use a synth. I was kinda hoping you'd take that role, Dani." Elliott said as he glanced over to her, "I mean, I can cover keyboard too if push comes to shove."
Kurt shook his head, "No, Elliott, you're still a work in progress, no disrespect intended. How about you, Santana? You're quiet."
Her eyebrows joined in a pensive frown, "This Austin guy is good, he has a stage presence, he can play what piano? Sax. Clarinet. Oboe and bassoon? Not common in pop groups." She took a breath, "We can teach Roderick to move. I mean, Hudson danced without falling on his face too many times. It just Roderick's voice has a warmth to it, I think it would appeal to an audience."
Kurt nodded with a grin. "Agree, even if he doesn't pick up an instrument, and I'm not biased cos he's from Lima, either."
Dani nodded in agreement with Kurt. "Same, I vote for Roderick too. "Elliott?" she asked in a polite voice.
"Not like he will steal the lavender stage from you. You, me and Dani have that locked in," Santana teased.
Kurt chided his friend. "Or the steampunk rocker, Starchild.".
Elliott exhaled, tossing his hands up in defeat "Looks like we have our foursome. Roderick."
Kurt motioned everyone to listen, "Now, as you know, I have other goals to pursue, not related to One Three Hill. However, I would like to help with selecting instrumental band members. To be more specific, the drummer and the guitarist, no disrespect, Dani." He said as he saw blank faces staring back at him. "Santana, you remember our ND drummer Camron and Jonathan, the guitarist?"
"They had names? I thought drummer and guitarist were their names. I mean Brad is the only one I spoke too. Even that was a one-sided conversation."
"Yes, Santana, they had names. Anyway, they're both going to school here at Brooklyn College, along with the bassist, Franco. I suggest you" pointing at the three vocalists "get them as your back-up band."
Elliott, a quizzical look on his face, "Uh, why am I getting the feeling the band needs renaming to Lima Hill instead of One Three Hill?"
"That's not a bad idea, Elliott." Dani said.
Santana snickered more to irk Kurt than concur with Elliott or Dani. "No, if we're going to rename the band with Lima, it needs to be Lima Heights Adjacent."
"Oh, I remember you telling me about LHA, something about it was the low-income neighborhood next to the old mansion 'got lots' neighborhood you lived in San,"
"You remember that?"
"Yeah, I cringed every time you said 'I'm gonna go all Lima Height Adjacent on your sorry ass.'" Mimicking Santana's voice, a gentle slap to Santana's thigh, squeezing it, leaving it there as the door opened.
"Santana, I'm home!" Brittany shouted out, stepping through the doorway
"Babe!" A delight rang in her voice at seeing her wife. Santana sprang from the couch, Dani's hand slid off her knee. "You're early," she said with a welcome home kiss.
"No, duh, you're not watching the clock." Brittany beamed as she looked over Santana's shoulder, "Hey Kurt, Elliott, uh, and I guess Dani?"
Kurt mumbling, "Awkward."
Elliott watched as Dani stood moving toward the married couple. He leaned over to Kurt "They haven't met?" he asked in a low voice.
Kurt shook his head.
"Problems?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "No clue,"
"Um… Hi!" Brittany said to Dani, as Kurt and Elliott stood to listen and watch. "So, we like get to meet. Awesome! Like I always wanted to thank you for hanging with my lady lover while I was at MIT. Even though you didn't really have her back with Rachel. Huh, but that's like all forgotten now since you were like a total poser, and she proposed to me."
"Uh, yeah. I guess congratulations on that." Dani looked over at Santana, not sure how to respond to the tall blonde.
"Britt, we were just talking about the band," Santana said, "We decided Roderick would be the fourth member."
"Oh, cool! I told Kurt he needed to get him to audition. Since he hasn't been doing anything other than going to school and trying to get into Kitty's pants."
"Uh, they're roommates, Brittany." Kurt said, "I don't think Roderick has any desire to get into Kitty's pants when he's got a girlfriend back in Lima."
"Kurt, haven't you read the Muckraker online? That's like old news. Like Madison's back with Mason. They're in like a love triangle with Jane. You know, McKinley's gotten really cutting edge with love these days. I'm pretty sure by the end of the year. We'll be reading about orgy night in the gym instead of prom night."
Kurt glanced at Santana, who had her hand over her mouth to suppress her laughter. "You're trolling Brittany,"
"Or not," she said taking Santana's hand she led her back to the couch to sit "So are you guys like staying for dinner or are you leaving so I can get my sweet lady kisses on with my wife?"
Two empty pizza boxes covered the coffee table, along with two beer cans, and wine glasses. Blaine joined after spending the day at the NYU library. Elliott called Roderick, who brought Kitty. The foursome quit harmonizing when neighbors knocked on the door to say the music kept their children awake.
Kurt set his empty pizza plate on the coffee table, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin, "I guess the first thing on the list is finding a practice studio,"
Shaking his beer can "And finding our first gig." Elliott took a swig of beer from the can, "It was just pure luck that we got that gig at the Williamsburg Music Hall after playing at Callbacks."
Kurt tilted his head toward Elliott, "True, but that led to a few more bookings. Even though we were a trio at that point,"
"Make a video, put it on YouTube. Like that's how Justin Bieber got his start. Carly Rae Jepsen, even Susan Boyle." Brittany said, "I mean, it's how I started Fondue for Two then sold Queso Por Dos to Univision."
Blaine's eyes lit up at the blondes' idea, "Hey, you know that's not a bad idea, Brittany,"
"It's an awesome idea. I mean, like think about it. You can only play one or two days a week at a club. To what a few hundred people each night. Like how long would it take word of mouth to book larger halls? Seriously in a city of 8 million. A long time. Add the metro area to it. That's 21 million people. Like a lot longer. But if you go on YouTube, your audience is unlimited."
Dani let out a defeated exhale. "Yeah, but we'd need a director. And the recording equipment to make a decent video. It's a helluva lot easier when there is only one person. All ya need is a camera on a tripod. We're talking four people plus a band."
A broad grin across his face, Blaine snapped his fingers, "Artie! He's regretting an elective he signed up for this semester. It has a requirement to shoot a commercial. As a marketing tool."
"Look, I love Artie to death. But if you let him develop the storyline or whatever it's called for the video, you'll be chasing plastic bags down roads or diving for garbage in the Hudson River," Kitty said. "You'll have to give him an idea to work with."
With a shrug of his shoulders "Let the song selection tell the story," Kurt answered.
Raising her hands in protest, Santana spoke up, "Ok, if we're going to video, then I'm not interested in doing a cover song." Eyeing each of her new bandmates, "If we want to stay a cover band, then why go through all the work of making a video when we just want to play local gigs?"
Dani looked around the room, "But who says we stay a cover band? I've written songs. Santana, you told me about the song you wrote for your singing club. Elliott, I know you've said you tried your hand at it."
"I will deny saying this, but Marley Rose. She's written a ton of songs," Kitty said.
"Who" Elliott looked over at Kitty, raising his palm toward Kitty, "Stop! Let me guess someone from Lima, Ohio."
Roderick sat forward on the couch, "Listen, I know I'm the new guy here, but writing lyrics isn't composing the melody. A poem can be a song, even Bible verses. We'd need something with a catchy hook to it or a unique riff even. Something that keeps it in the listener's head. Something that they want to hear again." He used his index finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Hits on YouTube are great, but you want them coming back for more."
"Or something they want to see again. Like something sexy." Brittany looked around the room, "What? Sex sells. Donna Summer's 'Love to Love You Baby' was like her simulating an organism for six minutes."
"Yeah, but isn't that like, selling yourself out? Mercedes found that out in LA. She had to start all over again." Blaine asked.
"That's because Cedes doesn't see herself as being sexy or a sex symbol. Cedes wants people to see her as a singer. Look, I went on tour with her. The dancers were the ones who had to be sexy. She just belted out the song." Brittany caught Kurt's eye. "I'm not saying Cedes isn't comfortable with her body. She has a different idea of how to market her songs. So does Gaga, Drake, Katy, Bieber."
"So, you want our band to sell sex?" Roderick asked, "Cos if that's the case, no way can I be sexy."
Brittany rolled her eyes "It was just a suggestion."
"Brittany's right," Dani said. "I mean, it isn't an image we want to foster over the long term. But adding a suggestion of sexiness to a winning song wouldn't hurt us. Not blatant sex, maybe romantic, humorous, playful flirty sex appeal."
"What are you thinking, Dani?" Santana asked.
"I have a song that I wrote after you went back to Lima. I got a call from my old girlfriend back home. It's a contrast between where I grew up and where my life has taken me now. Like between my first love back home versus uptown girl love. I call it Two Evils. Cos I was pissed at the time I wrote it."
"How about we see the song, hear it, then we can work from there?" Kurt suggested, "But I think you should give guitarist, bassist, and drummer a call."
Kitty raised her hand to volunteer, "Brittany and I will talk to Artie about directing. He'll be an ass if we don't join forces against him. And who better to overwhelm him than two ex-girlfriends?"
Brittany looked over at Kitty across from her, "Like, I didn't date Artie. I thought the other blonde cheerleader he dated was Becky?"
Kitty laughed, "Well, that makes two of us, Brittany.".
"What about money to pay for all this?" Santana not wanting to deflate the balloon that seemed to be rising needed to bring them all back to earth. "This can't be cheap. I mean Brittany used her parents' video camera and her bedroom for Fondue for Two. Plus, wardrobe."
"We can work on the wardrobe, Santana," Kurt's eyes lit up with the thought of an old employer, "I think I have an idea if Dani's song pans out."
"Artie should have the equipment. Maybe even a budget. If not, I think I know where to get some seed cash." Blaine said.
"Just to review, cos I'm confused," Roderick spoke up. "Kitty and Brittany will talk to Artie. Blaine will find the cash. Kurt will work on the wardrobe…"
"I volunteer Santana to help me," Kurt pointing at his old roommate.
"And I will only work on financing if we need it. Otherwise, I'd like to help Dani with her song. If that's all right." Blaine glanced over to Dani, who nodded her agreement.
"Right. So, what are Elliott and me gonna do?"
"Uh, you need musicians, Kurt gave you three suggestions. I'm sure Elliott has friends who'd like to play a few gigs, Dani, too. So, you and Elliott oversee that." Blaine grinned at Roderick. "And scheduling the first gig for Lima Hill, Lima Height Adjacent or One Three Hill, whatever it is you four call your new band."
Notes:
Any interest in continuing this story?
The guitarist was the blonde guy in Seasons 3-5 Puck called him "Johnny Tromboner." In story name: Jonathan Trom. (Trom is a legit surname.)
Drummer is the guy from Seasons 1-5. Puck refers to him as "Chapped Lips McGee." He joined ND for Sectionals in "Hold on to Sixteen" Season 3. In story name: Camron McGee. (Probably will be shorten to Cam)
The bassist is the guy from Seasons 1-5. Puck refers to him as "Floppy-Haired Bass Dude." He too joined ND for Sectionals in "Hold on to Sixteen" Season 3. In story name: Franco Haar.
