All the countries gathered like any other meeting except for China who was wearing a hazmat suit and a hospital mask, holding a gun.
"what are you okay?" Russia questioned.
China replied "oh yeah, it's nothing. I'm just a little sick."
Italy looked scared. "Oh no, is it bad?"
America interrupts, "Who cares, I have concerts and sporting events to plan. Now that nobody cares about the war I almost started, life will be easy again."
"I hope so," Italy murmured, "I don't think I could survive a bad sickness. Mama mia, there's so many old people…"
"I could survive anything," America gloated.
Everybody rolled their eyes. "Yes, America, we've heard," Britain said.
"Speaking of things I don't care about anymore, where's Australia?" America asked.
"He's crying about some extinct creature. A koala or something? It's an Australian thing. I swear everything is upside down with that guy," Russia said
A machine starts beeping from across the room, the countries turn around to see Italy in a hospital bed with a heart monitor attached.
"Mama mia" he wheezed weakly.
"Vhat die hell?" Germany questioned. He and Japan went to Italy's bedside. "Italy, vill you be fine?"
He coughed. "I-if I surrender, will it go away? It's contagious"
"STOP SURRENDERING TO EVERYDING!" Germany yelled.
Italy cried.
America waved his hand dismissively at the Europeans. "This is outrageous. Everything is fine. We're all young and healthy over here."
Iran, Spain, South Korea, Germany, France, Switzerland, and Britain started coughing.
"Lame," America said. He started to walk towards the closet. "what country is pathetic enough not to simply close its borders and not drink Corona, are you guys all hungover?" He closed the door, separating himself from everybody else. "Nobody is allowed in here. Except you, Britain."
America laughed triumphantly, but that soon turned into a cough."
France looked to Britain. "What's your son doing?"
He sighed. "I have no bloody idea anymore. He hasn't been the same since 2016."
Every county shuttered at that year. It really was a weird time to be a country. Now, it seemed like 2020 was giving it a run for its money.
America seemed concerned and put on a hospital mask and asked China across the room, "What are the symptoms of this pathetic disease anyway?
China shrugged. "Oh you know, the usual. A runny nose, sore throat, cough, fever, and in severe cases difficulty breathing and death. It's kind of like a cold, but we can't seem to make a cure."
America sniffed, cleared his throat, coughed, felt his head, then pressed on his chest. "I'll be back," America mumbled.
America leaves the room and screams. The countries can all hear him yell "God, tell me this isn't so! Show me a sign! I'm too successful to die!"
4 men on horseback ride up to the building, they get off the horses right in front of America, "Hi America, I'm Death and these are my friends, War, Famine, and Prescience, Thanks for bringing us back!" America backs up, "I know what this means" America points a gun at them and shouts "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY AND CANCEL LITERALLY EVERYTHING! I NEED TOILET PAPER!" America blacked out and woke up in the meeting hall on a throne of toilet paper and a pile of hospital masks by his side. "Hello everyone. I just wanted to declare an INTERNATIONAL EMERGENCY. A TWISTED TAIL, A THOUSAND EYES, TRAPPED FOREVERRRR! EPa Epa EPaaaaaaa!"
"Shouldn't you be screaming for the CDC?" Canada asked.
"What the hell is a CDC? Didn't I get rid of that?"
"It's okay America," South Korea said. "I've found a way to test a lot of people quite fast."
"And my communist ways have also flattened the curve, but you might not be as successful in that," China said.
Canada added "Yeah here we've successfully isolated the virus and currently working on a cure thanks to free healthcare"
"Get your filthy metric system methods away from me!" America cried. "None of you took it seriously and now look at the world, I'm infected! The end is nigh, but I'll survive. I'll show you. Don't you realize the world wouldn't exist if it weren't for me?"
"Calm down," Germany said, then coughed. "If anybody should be vorried it's Italy. Just look at him!" Italy genuinely looked like he was about to die.
Italy suddenly seemed fine, almost happy even. He looked to Germany and said, "I can see the light, the big pizza pie in the sky, holy macaroni."
America interrupted. "No more traveling, screw you guys, no more sports, concerts, meetings or any gatherings. I'm going in total isolation and there's nothing you guys could do to stop me. I'm the strongest country!"
Canada coughed and America squealed and cried. "My stocks… My beautiful stocks are falling. It's 1929 all over again. I should start another world war, get everything back on track." He laughed like a madman. "Yeah. I'll start a war. Who wants to join the greatest country on earth?"
"No more Vorld Vars," Germany said. He was trying to make Italy stop trying to go to the light.
The four horsemen burst through the door, making America shriek "they're here for my toilet paper!"
Death replied, "no were here for China."
China coughed. "Okay." They rode over to him and he climbed onto the horse.
Death playfully made a finger gun toward Italy. "We're coming for you soon," he said, then they all rode out.
America said through his tears, "there's one thing we have to do…" He paused for dramatic effect. "We must cancel Earth 2020."
To be continued?
