This... was really, really hard but I drew inspiration from Pulling My Weight, a wonderful Sakura centric story.

I am beyond proud of this amazing chapter, I worked so hard on it... using my own experienced with therapy...


"So what do you think, is he battle ready?" Tsunade leaned forward, putting her head in her hands as she looked at Inoichi. Her intent filled the room no differently then killer intent, melding with her immense natural presence that a gifted sensor like Inoichi could sense.

The man before her didn't fidget under her gaze or cower under her chakra, instead he met it head on, only sighing a little. "That is a complicated question to answer. Yes and no. Could he fight, yes, but the truth is Naruto is a deeply scarred person and not just from his recent death."

Tsunade frowned. " How so?"

"Naruto's life hasn't been anything I would recommend." He sighed again, looking world weary as only a worker of the mind could be. "He was isolated for most of his life, had no friends or family in his life. No teachers that would really help him, people calling him a demon or monster or who would just glare at him. Kicked out of shops and overcharged for food and clothes and whatever... even his graduationl, what should have been a happy memory, was marked with the trauma of learning his status as a jinchuuriki at the hands of Mizuki who not only tricked him into stealing the scroll but revealed the information in an attempt to hurt him despite the deep trust Naruto had for Mizuki. His mission to find you was marked with a near death experience when Kabuto tried to cut his heart off from his chakra network... His mission to Wave was met with the loss of someone who managed to make a tremendous impact on his life. His mission to retrieve Sasuke should have been fatal as Sasuke broke his neck and stabbed him with the chidori through the chest. The truth is Naruto has had more traumatic events then positive ones."

Cringing, Tsunade couldn't help but feel a wave of sorrow for the boy she loved so dearly. She had no idea just how much tragedy the poor boy had endured in his life "Naruto is a lot stronger then I gave him credit for it seems."

"Not exactly... Naruto is, what I can only describe, as suffering from Passive Suicidal ideation." He ignored the rush of air that shot through her nose as shock filled her entire being. "Naruto holds no care for his own life and will risk it for anything, any mission big or small. Any event that may possibly need it or even imply that it might be needed. He doesn't or didn't fear death until recently and now that he has had an actual death he is starting to value his life because he was finally confronted with the prospect of losing what little he had. He just isn't used to that, to that feeling. It is what is causing his issues, though the panic attack was more to do with remembering the trauma of his death as it hadn't hit him yet. He hadn't really remembered the actual dying part... "

"Is there more?" She dreaded to ask.

"Yes, but I would rather show you... at least some of it. But first, I should mention that as requested I used my Modification of the Psycho Mind Transmission Technique to open the boy's mind up. To my shock he actually resisted the technique on a passive level, this can only be done with the presence of a dual self. If he was still a Jinchuuriki I would have assumed it was due to the Kyuubi but it wasn't. It was due to the presence of a Yami, a compilation of Naruto's darkness and repressed aspects. Now, if you will, i would like to show you the rest."

Tsuande nodded and the man placed a hand on her head. In an instant she was thrust into a memory, the world shifting and resettling as she saw through Inoichi's eyes.

First thing she saw was Inoichi's office, a warm soft green with decorative flowers from his family's shop all on the corner of his desk. A picture of his wife and daughter on the mahogany desk. Inoichi was working over some paperwork when a knock door to Inoichi's office opened up, revealing an oddly timid Naruto all but slink into the room, his hands shaking ever so slightly. " Hello?" His voice was it's typical self, rough and gravely and just too high pitched for his age. Tsunade felt Inoichi's smile, and the surge of warmth that washed through him at the sight of Naruto.

A mark in the man's favor as far as she was concerned.

"Good afternoon Naruto, it is nice to meet you. My name is Inoichi Yamanaka, I believe you know my daughter Ino."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, we graduated together." Naruto nervously sat down, twiddling his hands together. Tsunade, with her trained eyes, could easily register the fear, doubt and confusion in Naruto's entire being. "So, um, what do we do? I've never had therapy before."

"Well, that's really up to you and Tsunade. At the minimum we need to discuss your previous death, how it makes you feel... and I need to asses that you are ready for combat based roles once more. "Both elder ninja registered Naruto's spike in fear. "Naruto, it's going to be okay, I am here to help not judge you. My role is to help you help yourself. Really most of what we are going to be doing is just talking."

Naruto never saw the handsigns that Inoichi began but Tsunade could see them from the man's eyes. She felt his chakra stretch towards Naruto, opening his mind up to be read by the Yamanka clan head passively. She felt the resistance of what he had called a Yami, like a pressure against her forehead pushing down against her. However it was not match for the man's superior skills and he pushed right past it, allowing Naruto's mind to open up to his senses.

"Okay. " Naruto said, sighing. "Where do we start?"

"Let's start with your childhood... how do you feel your life was when you were younger. You would be amazed at how much childhood affects your older years."

Immediately painful images and sounds bombarded Tsunade mind. Naruto on a swing, listening to hateful speeches about his worthlessness, a man shoving him away from a shop and calling him a menance, being forced out of a dango shop and a sensation of intense hunger. Image after image bombarded her mind, hundreds of them in a wave of agony soul deep. What shocked and hurt her most was how young Naruto had been, barely four years old in some of the memories.

They didn't stop even as Naruto spoke, lying with his first breathe. "Oh, it was fine. I had the Old man Hokage and the Ichiraku and sometimes I had Choji, Shikamaru and Kiba when we played together. It could have been better, but there wasn't anything I could have done. Everyone but me knew about the Kyuubi being in my gut, so most adults hated me... that was..." Naruto didn't finish his sentence.

He didn't have to, as Inoichi sighed. " Naruto, you don't have to lie to me. I know your childhood was miserable, you were alone and isolated and hated for no reason you could have known. A childhood should be filled with love, laughter and protection, that you didn't get that is concerning and telling. Do I think it makes you a bad Ninja, no, but it is a concern we can talk about later... the truth is, and I mean this with the greatest respect, the Third Hokage horribly failed you."

Naruto threw himself onto his feet, his face filled with rage. "The Old man is the only one who cared or did anything for me, don't you dare disrespect him."

"Then why did he allow a child, four years old, to live on his own without any parental supervision or care. Why did he not reassure the village that you were not the Kyuubi, or do a great many other things that could have eased the burden that wasn't yours to face. Why lie to you your entire life then just expect a loyalty that to be honest, no one in the village earned in any way." Naruto opened his mouth to respond but could say nothing, he had no words it seemed. "He was a great man, Naruto, but he was just a man and that means he was capable of failing. Many people disagreed with the Hokage about how he handled your situation. I was one of them, but we had no choice but to listen to him."

Tsunade felt a wave of her own hate cross over, knowing how right the man was. The pressures of being Hokage, being perceived as flawless and the weight of the mistakes so easily made. Her Sensei rarely took action when it mattered, it was always something she resented about him but seeing how it affected Naruto only made her wish he was alive so she could sock him. Allowing a child to live on his own like that was... and to allow him to endure what he did without making moves to help him... it was disgusting.

What was worse was that Naruto didn't seem to realize how badly he was screwed.

She returned her focus to the memory and watched as a series of emotions crossed Naruto's face. "Other people weren't happy with how I was treated?" His voice was small, weak and pained, as if the mere notion of others caring for him was so foreign that he couldn't process it without feeling a deep pain.

"No Naruto, they weren't and you should understand, I am telling you this not to shame the Hokage but to get you to realize that it is okay to resent your past, to resent your pain and it's causes no matter who caused them. To heal means to embrace all aspects of your life and deal with each part. Neglecting to feel that resentment and own it, that will only hinder you and make it harder to heal...now, again, what do you feel about your childhood."

Naruto was quiet for a moment before tears started to cross his face. "It was awful, everyone looked at me like a monster. I wasn't allowed in stores or restaurants but Ichirakus. People thought I was too stupid to notice they were overcharging me. The teachers would ignore me if I needed help or if I was confused. No one really cared enough to think I mattered. After a while I gave up and stopped caring, I would do it on my own since no one else would help me.

But it was so lonely... it was all so lonely. I had no one, no friends, the Old man only came over every month to give me my money or to randomly take me out to eat. The others stopped playing with me after the first few times and Kiba became mean to me. Iruka wasn't super nice to me for a while and only became nice during the last year or so. Even then we only saw each other when he bought me food, outside of glass.

I started doing pranks to get some kind of attention, it was better then being ignored. Even if it was hateful and mean and calling me names, or yelling at me was better then just... nothing. That was the worst part, the nothing. I could handle the hate or meanness but when people wouldn't even look at me, or talk to me or nothing, I just... it hurt too much. I felt like I didn't even exist. I just wanted to matter, to be somebody, that's why I wanted to become Hokage."

Inoichi didn't stop himself as he rose and walked over to a flinching Naruto, hugging the kid tightly. " Naruto, I am very, very proud of you. Not a lot of people can be that honest with themselves or with me. That is a huge step for you if you want to heal, to become and be better..."

The memory ended then, and Tsunade found herself back in her office, looking at the world weary Inoichi. "You see what I mean? And that was just the beginning. The session was only an hour, we could only talk about so much. Most of the rest of what I saw, you know from the reports of being there, but that... that was the core of things. Naruto's got a serious problem with show boating and being flashy not just because he lacks attention and is childish, which he is, but also because he never mattered before and wants to show off so he matters.

I set the appointment back an extra half an hour so I could teach him how to meditate. I am going to try visualization exercises later but for now we are starting basic. I set him to see me weekly, every Wednesday. He needs help, a lot of it. His childhood screwed him over and so did all of the trauma, he has no idea how to deal with any of it. He is lost and he has been drowning for so long he thought it was normal. The panic attack, the death, only was the match that lit all a flame, there has been a pile building for a very, very long time.

His desire to matter is so strong it is what is making him suffer from Passive Suicidal Ideation. He needs to matter, it is as much a need as Oxygen to him. He cannot function without it."

Tsunade nodded. "I can see what you mean, and with his childhood... I cannot see him wanting to be Hokage any longer, once we manage to address his need to be needed."

"Maybe not. I could sense that he was far brighter then he let on or even realizes. He was sabotaged through neglect at the academy, and socially through isolation. If we can treat that and give him a better reason to be loyal, we might have an incredible Hokage. As it is I plan on giving him IQ tests. I may bring him in extra to do more assessments. I have so questionnaires that can help me diagnose him with other conditions and problems if they exists. I suspect he may have ADD, which may be hampering him even more. The truth is Naruto has needed help for a while in many ways so we are going to address many pieces of his life. I may even make him come visit me twice a week not once."

"If you think he needs it."

"He might... but my lady, do not give up hope. I see a lot of potential in this kid."

She smiled and nodded. " As do I."

What Tsuande didn't say was how tragic her first meeting with Naruto really was... how little he valued his life when he fought her, fought for the Hokage position not out of love or loyalty but to fill the void her Village had left in his heart. How willing he was to save her, when she was abusive towards him, solely out of how little he valued his life.

The entire situation reeked of tragedy and it broke her heart far more then she dare let on. She could only hope that one day, when all was said and done, that Naruto found the peace he had been robbed of his entire life... if not, he would never accomplish his goals and dreams, forever lost in pain so easily prevented. An endless cycle of tragedy that no on deserved.

Especially not Naruto.


Chapter end, tell me what you think in the reviews.

This was beyond fun to write and I am so proud of it.

Love, your Ninja Overlord,

Mika.