Tauriel awoke to silence. It was like one of those instances where someone wakes up and does not know what time or day it could be.
She opened her eyes slowly. The voice in her head that craved to be optimistic hoped that everything was a nightmare. But the pain she felt in her body and heart dragged her back to the reality of the present.
With a painful groan she rose into a seated position. Her back rested against the wall as she started to remove her corset. With the corset next to her she reached down to her boots and slid them off as well. She had fallen asleep so suddenly she did not have time to remove them to sleep more comfortably.
There was no noise nor voices her ears could hear as she rose to her feet.
Her body was still bruised but her rest had given her the opportunity to heal. But the darkness she felt made her every breath a painful experience.
Tauriel's eyes did not shed any tears anymore. Truthfully that devastated her profoundly as it meant that crying did not fulfill the need to release the anger, sadness and misery she felt.
"I miss you" she whispered to the darkness and emptiness that surrounded her. She closed her eyes and drew her legs in close to her body. She then stared at the wooden table in front of her where he had made every single spark of her body sing his name. In this tower he had introduced her to the sweetness of desire and passion.
Why are you here, she asked to herself. Of all the places she could rest and hide away, she had chosen this one. And of course that frustrated her immensely. She had been a captain of a guard, a deadly warrior and now her training did not help her at all. She wanted to be strong, but strength was slipping from her fingertips. It avoided her call. It avoided her need of assistance.
It was as if the own pureness and light of the stars had forsaken her. She nodded her head. Indeed, that was true.
She reached for the runestone that laid next to her on the floor and ran her thumb across it as she thought of she starlight that felt so far away. Running her thumb across the runes brought forth the memories.
"My mother gave it to me so I would remember my promise"
Tauriel bit her lip as she remembered him talking about the runestone she held in her hand. That night where she talked about starlight and he about firemoons. Both the stars and moons were fascination to them both. That night she had conversed not to a king, nor a prince nor a guard, but to someone who had listened to her speak as if she was the only one in the world. As if listening to her speak would keep him alive.
The way his eyes looked at her with awe made a smile appear at her lips even now. His cockyness and flirtatious innuendos had dissapeared as he had treated her like someone who deserved a moment of attention with utmost respect. She had never felt so comfortable around anyone. And as that friendship she knew had taken root began to bloom, she found herself craving more than his attention.
And then a tear slid down her cheek. Finally a sign that perhaps she could persevere.
"Kili" she whispered clutching the stone in her hand, bringing it close to her chest. She began to cry, which she felt herself unable to do seconds before.
"Please, come back to me. To your mother. Bring your brother and your uncle with you" she demanded in a low whisper that turned into a plea.
She covered her face with her hands and cried. She allowed her tears to fall with no regret and embarrassment.
"I do not want this! If this is love, take it away!" she pled as she rose to her feet. Letting the stone drop to the ground, she rushed to the table and grabbed the rolls of paper and threw them against the wall. She felt so empty and yet so full.
"I do not want this!" she screamed throwing a decaying wooden chair against the wall as well. Anything that her hands could grab, she threw to the other side of the room. Rage was flowing through her. How could someone come into her life just to be erased from it? Why did the best people have to die? Why did tragedies happen to those who did not deserve it?
Her thoughts raced, one after the other. Kili and his family did not deserve tragedy. Objects crashed around her as her arms became tired.
She cried, her breath coming in short intervals as she looked at the mess she created. The chaos that laid around her mirrored her heart. She felt chaos roam inside of her as she could not deal with the tremendous heartbreak. Heartbreak that had been a stranger for so long.
Exhausted, Tauriel leaned on the wall, her back sliding down the bricks. Her hair fell around her in a messy manner. She swept it all up to one side of her neck.
"Never make promises you cannot keep my love" she whispered looking at the lonely stone next to her. "I wish you would be here to remind me of the fire"
She smiled to herself. He never stopped mentioning that her hair looked like fire. And then she froze. The funeral.
How long had she been asleep? With fresh fear in her heart she quickly slid on her boots. She quickly rose and located her corset beneath a tapestry she had thrown and that's when her eye caught something.
She eyed the object on the floor as she picked up her blood stained corset. The familiarity of the metal bead on the floor struck her. It had been his. He had worn them at the ends of some of his braids. It was silver of color and a few interlocking lines had been carved into it.
With a trembling hand she reached for it. She closed her eyes as she closed her palm around it.
"Everything will remind me of you. But that's alright. I know that one day I will see you again" she whispered forcing herself to believe such hope.
With her daggers in hand along with the lone bead and runestone she opened the door and began to climb down with determination in every step. The cold took a few seconds longer to reach her compared to regular folk, but it reached her alright. The wind struck her hair, making it wildly fly and sway around her. She already felt cold, nothing to do with the snow, so she forced herself to walk.
She clutched her coat as the winter cold finally managed to make her slightly tremble. It was sudden but she caught some guards running towards the end of one street. She was still weak and her mouth felt dry and she had gone days without food, so she walked slower than everyone else.
"What's the matter?" she asked as she finally made someone stop and he looked familiar.
"You are Tauriel correct?" Bard the bowman asked. The one who had struck the dragon and called death to claim the horrid creature.
She nodded. Bard looked her over with a hint of worry in his eyes. Tauriel did not appear to be there. He wondered if she knew?
"Are your children alright?" she then asked. He gave her a nod and if that gave her a relieved feeling he did not know because the elf in front of her seemed to not give off any emotions at all. He cleared his throat as her eyes seemed to look through him as if he wasn't there.
"Some elves have arrived" he then explained as he noticed she was waiting for him to speak.
She furrowed her brows. "Who?" she asked.
Bard looked towards the lonely mountain that loomed over them all as if giving a reminder that it still stood tall even if its rulers had fallen.
"Thranduil called them the White Council" he said. His pale hand clutched at his coat.
"They will attend the… funeral" she assured. Perhaps the wizard had called to them.
Bard shook his head. "My lady, that is not what this commotion is all about. Everyone is heading to the center of town because Thranduil is making some announcement"
"We shall go listen to his announcement then" Tauriel proposed turning around with intent to walk away towards the center of the city but a hand at her shoulder stopped her.
"Gandalf has asked me to find you and take you to Erebor" Bard began with something lingering in his eyes.
"I'd be grateful if you would stop lingering around with your words" Tauriel said, her voice cold but she relaxed her stance as she regretted the sting in her voice aimed at the man in front of her.
"Come with me" Bard said and it was as if the wind blew especially colder at those words. Those all too familiar words still stung her to hear them. She swallowed as she shook her head.
"Why?"
Bard sighed as the stubborn elf who was noticeably heart broken stared at him with no light in her eyes.
"They have found a way" he announced. "To bring them back"
Tauriel felt as if the wind stopped. As if the cold air stopped attacking her body. As if the snowflakes falling around them halted dead at their tracks.
Her eyes were fixed on the bowman, trying to recover her sanity that was sure to be gone.
And that's when she felt dizziness surround her and her mind stopped thinking. She did not have time to feel herself hit the snow covered ground.
Notes- Thank you for reading 3
ps- with the horrors going on all over the world right now, I hope you all stay safe and sound 3
