Everyone is aware of what happened yesterday at the UN. After all, the France Fracas incident with SCP-106-EN made international news! Lisa had just finished watching the Paris Accords (the anomalous task force one, not the climate change one) and saw the Core 37 plus Iceland and Denmark sign it.

"It appears the masquerade is broken. This dimension doesn't have an SCP Foundation…so, it appears that the world cannot combat this new threat."

It sure was lucky that Claudette managed to encase 106-EN! But what if something even more dangerous comes through the Anomalous Bursts? What if SCP-682-EN comes through?! His anomalous ability is literal plot armor! Or any of the Lovecraftian entities that the Foundation knows about? What about spatial anomalies like SCP-1548-EN, The Hateful Star? What then?

Also, apparently any character and/or object from any narrative can use these gateways, as somehow, Ladybug and Cat Noir from the acclaimed hit French TV show, Miraculous Ladybug, tried to fight SCP-106-EN and failed. I think they thought 106-EN was an akuma or something. In the show, they are corrupted butterflies made by the villainous Hawk Moth and the pragmatic kwami, Nooroo. It is one of the ancient Chinese artifacts known as the Miraculous. Nooroo uses these butterflies to subjugate people and turn them to the side of his user. Good, evil, no, he just makes super-villainous puppets. I heard that the heroes escaped through an Anomalous Burst once the coast was clear.

"And so, President Trump has urged anyone with these anomalous to fight these new threats."

"The world simply does not have any way to combat the anomalous. Since there's nothing that can surprise us anymore, what if something like Cthulhu attacked us? We'd all be driven insane or dead. Not to worry, this draft will be completely separate from the US military draft, we are working to have specialists in training the anomalous. So, anomalous heroes, the world needs YOU!"

President Trump imitates that Uncle Sam WW2 poster and points his finger toward the camera, and by proxy, the people of America.

"Sign up for conscription today. Only by working together can we ensure the continued safety of our planet!"

Lisa scoffs at the absurdity of a Lovecraftian entity attacking Earth. Then again, the SCP Foundation has at least one confirmed Cthulhu entity "contained", so maybe Trump isn't crazy this time.


"Did you watch the news, babe?"

"The UN Paris Accords right? The anomalous task force?"

"No, the climate change accords. Yes, I'm talking about the new task force! Didn't you see that 34 countries are the "core members"?"

"Yes?"

"Did you notice that 19 of the 37 core members speak Spanish?"

"And your point?"

"Half of the members are Spanish! Do you know what this means?"

"No, what?"

"That there is a Coalescencia Española making up 51% of the core members! These Spanish speaking countries can influence the members! This "Spanish Mafia" can strongarm the others! Kind of like how Adyslexia Ocasional Corteza is basically the leader of the Democrat Communist Party!"

"But Bobby, aren't you Mexican? Mexico is a member of the Spanish Club that you're so worried about."

"Yes, Lori. I'm Mexican. That doesn't change the fact that 19 countries hold 51% of the power."

"Well, Iceland and Denmark also signed, the others will join the accords soon enough."

"Yes, but Iceland and Denmark aren't core members, the Coalescencia Española are. It's kind of like how the US, UK, Russia, China and France's votes matter more than the others during official UN business matters. The Spanish Mafia could leverage the fact that they make up half of the core members and use it to get more benefits from the accords! Can you imagine a Spain using anomalous weaponry to start another Reconquista to take back land from the Allahcolytes?"

"What is an Allahcolyte?"

"It's a super jihadist. A diehard follower of the Quran. Their goals are to jihad the entire world and subjugate it under Islam or die trying. They can't be reasoned with. They will instate Sharia law on every country they conquer and kill all of the infidels they come across."

"Oh…"

"The 9/11 hijackers would be considered Allahcolytes. Ironically, Allah detests murder and even considers suicide to be murder (unless they're infidels). These guys kill the infidels mostly by suicide bombing them, so I guess its off to Jahannam for them."

The lovers feel like the conversation should end here, and so it does.

Anyway, it's a slow day, but now it's Anomalous Burst time! After SCP-106-EN, what horrific anomaly would leak through this time…Something emerges but…only a paper comes out. Really? What a rip off.


Something appears to head toward the living room TV. Lana had dibs on the TV after Lisa saw the UN accord meeting. Naturally, she turned the channel on to the great unifier, SpongeBob SquarePants. The episode that was on right now was Frankendoodle, you know, the one with DoodleBob in it. The one with the Artist's pencil.

Something squirms in front of her and enters the TV. It looks the outline of a female silhouette. Maybe someone erased themselves with Doctor Wondertainment's Shadow Paint Play Set™. But…they didn't see anything by the wacky capitalist construct, and there's still no products by them that have leaked through yet. Lana follows the entity and enters the TV. Time stands still.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

The entity slinks back and enters a piece of paper.

"I could have sworn I saw something."

Lana approaches the stack of paper, ignoring the final battle between SpongeBob and DoodleBob frozen in time. She flips through the pages until she spots an illustration of a young woman. Is this an Easter egg from the writers? It is a beautiful drawing. I don't think people would notice if this one drawing was missing.

"Such a beautiful drawing. I should show this to Lily. It might teach her the finer points of art. Though, it is kind of odd that the writers would make a drawing of young woman in their kids cartoon. Oh, well."

Lana takes the drawing back to their reality. She sets it down on her dresser near a catalogue of cars. She could have sworn the drawing moved.

"Wow, an animate drawing. I should tell Lisa about this!"

Lana leaves and the drawing begins to move. It appears to transfer itself onto the manual.

"I swear I saw the drawing move!"

Lana and Lisa enter the room.

"What are you talking about, there's nothing here."

Lana looks at the piece of paper, nothing there.

"It escaped!"

"Lana, there was nothing ever there."

Lana glances at the car catalogue and sees the outline looking at a picture of one of the cars.

"See, that drawing wasn't there before."


"Hmm…a drawing anomaly? I think I have it. That must be a work of art created by SCP-067-EN, The Artist's Pen."

Lisa shows the VEI article, complete with SCP-067-EN's picture.

Objet #: SCP-067-EN

Classe: Contenues

Niveau de Menace: Bleu

Propriétés Spéciales: Angizohazard

Procédures de Confinement Spéciales: Quand il n'est pas utilisé où le sujet à études, SCP-067-EN doit être rangé dans sa boîte en bois doublée de feutre. La plume doit être couverte et tous les dessins et écritures produits doivent être confiés à l'équipe de recherche en charge de l'objet pour analyse et expériences complémentaires.

Description: SCP-067-EN est un stylo plume de la marque allemande Pelikan confectionné dans la période entre la Première et Seconde Guerre Mondiale. Il est vert pâle et comporte un ligne rouge sur un des côtés. La coque est composée de chêne et la plume est extrêmement pointue, de sorte qu'elle est capable de percer la peau humaine d'une légère pression. Malgré l'absence d'un réservoir d'encre, la plume ne semble jamais manquer d'encre fraîche. De plus, le stylo écrit avec de l'encre Iron Gall qui convient parfaitement aux artistes mais se révèle rapidement corrosif pour un stylo plume classique.

L'équipe de recherche a supposé que tout sujet se saisissant de SCP-067-EN perd toute autonomie de la main et du bras tenant l'objet. Les sensations sont intactes mais la portion du bras en dessous du coude est contrôlée par une force inconnue, supposée être centralisée depuis l'intérieur de SCP-067-EN. Un des effets est que la main ''contrôlée'' commencera à rédiger une biographie détaillée de l'individu qui tient le stylo. La biographie comportera des informations comme le nom, l'âge, la date de naissance, le casier judiciaire, les peurs, etc. D'autres fois, le stylo rédigera des événements survenus dans la vie du sujet. Par exemple, quand le sujet 1204M saisit SCP-067-EN, il coucha sur papier de manière détaillée un accident de moto qu'il avait subi un an auparavant. Plus tard, le sujet précisa qu'il ignorait jusqu'à présent beaucoup de détails présents dans le document (le sujet avait oublié de nombreux éléments comme le numéro de plaque d'immatriculation de son ancien véhicule, la couleur de l'autre voiture, etc.). Le sujet indiqua que le souvenir de l'événement eut été si frais dans son esprit pendant sa retranscription qu'il avait ''pu sentir le goût du sang dans sa bouche''.

Des sujets tenant SCP-067-EN ont aussi créé des œuvres artistiques complexes, malgré l'absence de toute formation artistique et d'attrait à ce domaine. Par exemple, le sujet 1102F, une jeune femme sans expérience artistique fut capable de dessiner une créature ailée ressemblant à SCP-███, décrite par les chercheurs présent de [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES]. Quand les sujets sont interrogés à propos de l'expérience, la réponse classique fournie est qu'ils ont ressenti de leurs membres un abandon de leur contrôle en faveur de SCP-067-EN (voir Retranscription de Réponse 01). Même lorsqu'il leurs a été demandé de résister aux effets de SCP-067-EN, les sujets ont décrit des sentiments d'empathie, admiration et coopération envers SCP-067-EN qui les ont poussé à adhérer à une volonté qu'ils ne maîtrisaient pas.

Retranscription de Réponse 01: "Je ne sais pas comment l'expliquer, c'est juste arrivé. Quand j'ai saisi le stylo, c'était comme si ma main n'était plus vraiment la mienne. Je savais que je pouvais l'utiliser si je voulais mais j'ai choisi de ne rien faire parce que j'aimais le dessin que je dessinais. C'était comme si ma main était vivante. D'un coup, ma main s'est arrêtée et j'ai réalisé que j'avais à nouveau le contrôle total de ma main, et j'ai posé le stylo. J'ai regardé le dessin et me suis aperçu à quel point il était beau. J'imagine que c'est le stylo qui a décidé que c'était fini et qu'il n'avait plus besoin de moi.''

Tests et Expériences

Le ██/██/20██, un test a été effectué pour comprendre comment le stylo affecte les autres créatures vivantes.

Expérience 001:

Le sujet, un macaque rhésus mâle de 2 ans 4 mois qui a appris au préalable à utiliser des stylos et feutres, est placé dans une salle de surveillance psychologique standard (couleur des murs neutres ; vitre sans teint d'observation unilatérale), avec SCP-067-EN, une table de travail et un bloc note.

Le sujet prend SCP-067-EN avec son pied gauche puis sa main droite et le goûte. Le sujet repose le stylo sur le papier et le renifle. Après 30 secondes, le sujet prend SCP-067-EN à nouveau et commence à le taper de manière répétitive sur la table. Le sujet commence ensuite à le cogner sur son propre corps. Le sujet frappe SCP-067-EN avec plus de force jusqu'à ce que l'encre gicle sur sa fourrure. Le sujet jette alors SCP-067-EN sur le sol (des analyses postérieures indiquent qu'aucun dommage n'a été subit).

À ce moment, le sujet déchire une feuille du bloc note et commence à la frotter sur l'encre de son pelage. Cela continue pendant 3 minutes, après lesquelles le sujet accroche la feuille sur ses dents et bondit depuis la table jusqu'à la vitre d'observation (avec une force telle que la table est renversée). Le sujet entreprend de souiller la vitre d'observation avec l'encre présente sur le papier en poussant des cris; des analyses postérieures indiquent que 50% des cris sont typiques des cris de détresse notés à son espèce et 50% sont d'origine inconnue.

Après 6 minutes à étaler l'encre sur la vitre, le sujet commence à déchirer la feuille à l'aide de ses dents et de ses griffes mais l'a fait tomber avant d'avoir pu détruire plus de 20% du document. Le sujet tombe au sol, la respiration erratique tout en poursuivant les cris d'origine inconnue.

Le maître du sujet rapporte, qu'une fois sorti de la salle de surveillance psychologique, la condition du sujet s'est améliorée rapidement. Le sujet a été observé pendant les deux mois suivant l'expérience mais aucun cri atypique n'a été enregistré de nouveau.

La feuille de papier a été [DONNÉES SUPPRIMÉES].


"Mom…"

"Did you hear something?!"

"It sounded like the word "mom"."

"Did you say that?"

"Doubtful, I prefer maternal unit."

"Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"Yes, I am clearly a cyborg."

Lana and Lisa are wondering who said that. Lisa continues scrolling through the articles. She stops on SCP-914-EN, The Clockworks, the most interesting useful SCP! Even all the normies who played Containment Breach regard this one as their lord and savior.

"Dad…"

"Now the voice is saying "dad". Is someone playing a prank on us?"

The drawing moves back onto the paper and starts talking.

"Hey, over here!"

Lana and Lisa look at the drawing.

"Yes, I'm talking to you."

"A drawing that can talk?! What's next, Cthulhu?!"

"Well, SCP-2662-EN isn't Cthulhu…yet, anyways." Lisa admits

"Hup mgepogg ot Mar'iana's mgep, Cthulhu ng h' ron's mgehye'lloig ahthrodog. Hup sa'nit'y's mgehye'lloig ah'mglw'nafh, yog nog u'nblin'king nwngluii, nilgh'riyar nnn." Lucy comments

"I didn't know you spoke Great Old One."

"I try."

"Anyways, I know for a fact that drawings can't talk!" Lisa proclaims

"What are you talking about? You're talking right now!"


Lisa is left stunned. The drawing explains further.

"Don't you get it? We're all in a narrative! Why do you think the "cosmic entities" that Lincoln can talk to keep viewing you guys? They are the audience and you are their entertainment. Humans might actually be worse than Cthulhu. They might not influence you directly, but they can make the powers that be cancel you. Lord knows they've been trying to cancel Teen Titans Go for the past 7 years."

Lana is starstruck.

"Yeah, I had the same reaction when I saw my own document."

So, which anomaly are you?

"85."

"Ok, but there are 12 branches? Which one are you from? China? Japan? Russia?"

"English?"

"SCP-085-EN…Hand-drawn "Cassy.""

"I have a feeling I've heard of that one before…"

"Cassy is the byproduct of an experiment between The Artist's Pen and The Clockworks. She has breached containment once before, but the O5 council voted to not terminate her. She can change art styles depending on she transfers to. She can animate others by interacting with them but as soon as she stops interacting with them, they revert back to stasis. Subject has an affinity for classic cars and chocolate banana milkshakes. Cross testing with SCP-914-EN is [DATA EXPUNGED]."

"Sounds terrible. But this anomaly seems harmless, why would the Foundation keep her in containment?"

"Didn't you listen, Lana? It is the byproduct of SCP-067-EN and SCP-914-EN, both of which are anomalous by themselves!"

"Hmm…maybe I can…"

Cassandra tries to change to a new art style, and in a scene that totally doesn't mirror a magical girl transformation, she turns into a comic book style of herself. In this form, she is depicted as a blonde-haired woman, about 24-years-old, wearing a yellow dress and sandals.

"Cassy, did you just…?"

"I thought about what I said to you and I thought, well, since you guys live a comic book, maybe I could change styles and appear "human" in this world. I think it worked."

"I think it worked…maybe a little too well. What if our parental units see her? They never saw you enter our house, so they might think you're a burglar or something."

"Dang it, you're right."

Because The Loud House is an animated comedy, of course the parents walk in.


"Lincoln, Lana. Can you check on Lola?"

They notice the young adult near their kids.

"Anomaly?"

"What anomaly?"

"Lisa, you can drop the act. We can see the crack in the fabric of time in space behind you."

The Anomalous Burst promptly seals itself.

"We all have heard President Trump talk about this UN anomalous task force. So, nothing phases us anymore."

"Ok, fine. This is SCP-085-EN. Her name is Cassandra. Her anomaly is to transfer into different art mediums."

"Huh, doesn't Lana have that anomaly, too?"

"We saw your research, Lisa. You didn't think we would find out?"

"Uh, maybe I should go…"

She leaves.

"Should someone go after her?" Lisa asks

"Nah, she's one of us now. I'm sure she's fine." Lana counters

Well, I guess Cassy is now a guest character on The Loud House. But now that everyone knows about the anomalous, how long until another super dangerous one comes out?!


Author's Note: SCP-1548-EN's official codename is The Star, the Hateful, but this is the only time its unofficial name, The Hateful Star, will be used, mostly because its easier to remember than its admittedly cooler official designation.

There are 5 types of sensory hazards. SCP-067-EN is an angizohazard, which affects a subject's if they touch it. The vlepohazard have been renamed as photopic hazards, since the latter sounds cooler. The only sensory hazard type not mentioned is the myrodiahazard, which is affected by smell.