Happy 4th of July, America! To celebrate, here's another chapter of The Misadventures of Judal (though, really, I should have published this ages ago). This is loosely based on something I did with my father last year, so you can also consider this a late Father's Day gift.
Enjoy! And Review!
It's not a secret that Judal, "terrifying" magic being he is, is actually weak when it comes to the traditional type of combat. You know, martial arts, self-defense, swordplay, even wrestling.
I mean, come on, this guy can't even run fast in the first place!
(Could he even run in the first place?)
So naturally, there came a day when everyone (and I mean everyone) got fed up with Judal's inability to properly defend himself, and decided to take matters into their own hands.
By that, I mean that Kouha, Hakuryuu, and Kouen ganged up on Judal, kidnapped him, forced a wooden sword into his hands, and had him fight Kougyoku while Koumei kept score.
Final score: 0-20.
You can guess who the winner was.
And that was when Kougyoku went easy on him.
"Big Brother, I don't think this is going to work," said Kougyoku, while gesturing towards a half-dead Judal with a (thankfully) blunted sword. "Judal-chan can't even breathe. And he can't hold his sword anymore which he could barely pick up in the first place."
Kouen nodded thoughtfully. "True, Judal's body is so weak that there isn't much he can do in the first place. He can't even run."
"You can say that again, Big Bro," Kouha deadpanned.
Koumei nodded in agreement. "Indeed, my esteemed brother."
"You all know that I can hear you, right?!" yelled a ticked-off but still collapsed on the floor Judal, who had a vein popping in his temples.
"Because it's true," Kouha, Koumei, Kougyoku, Kouen, and even Hakuryuu all said in a monotone "it's so obvious to everyone, moron" tone.
Judal's veins pooped even more. "Why, you-!"
"I have an idea! Why don't we all learn archery?" Hakuei chirped, having suddenly popped out of nowhere.
"Ar.."
"...cher.."
"..ry?"
Koumei, Kougyoku and Hakuryuu repeated in confusion, disbelief, and shock.
Hakuei beamed "Sure, it doesn't take that long to learn in the first play. I can even teach you, I am a master at archery."
Everyone, including Judal, all shuddered at the thought.
"No thanks, Lady Hakuei, I believe Judal has all the help he needs." Koumei respectfully (and quickly) declined.
Hakuei pouted. "If you say so." Then she brightened up a bit. " By the way, I made you all my special bento boxes and energy tea as a snack. Is anyone hungry now?
"...on second thought , Judal could use an extra hand or two -?"
Hakuei, for all that she appears gentle, was not a gentle teacher.
She wasn't bad. She wasn't strict. She wasn't terrifying.
She was brutal.
"Lord Kouen, put more pull into that string! You want the arrow to fly straight and true, not bent and wobbly!"
"Lord Koumei, don't sleep on the floor! Do you want to get shot by a bunch of arrows?! The enemy will not wait for you to wake up to shoot!"
"Kougyoku, you have to wait for everyone to finish shooting before getting more arrows! Do you want to be punctured full of arrows?!"
"Kouha, I know the urge to shoot is strong. But you do. Not. Shoot. Without. My. COMMAND!"
"Judal, what are you doing just standing over there? Shoot!"
"Shoot, I tell you!"
"SHOOT!"
"So, now that we all know how to perform archery, I want to do a little review of your skills." A beaming Hakuei proclaimed after three exhausting I-won't-talk-about-what-happened hours later. "We're going to start first with target practice. First person to come up has to shoot an apple on top of a stand."
"So who wants to go first?"
There was a moment of silence. Then...
WHAP!
"Aaaand we have a volunteer! Very well, sir! You get to go first."
Kouen turned around and glared at a grinning Judal, who had slapped Kouen's right shoulder in response. "You," he hissed, "are going to pay for this."
Judal shrugged. "I highly doubt it, buddy." He grinned tauntingly.
Oh, he was going to regret saying that.
Kouen glared at Judal some more before clearing his throat. "Lady Hakuei," he addressed," is there a specific location to where the apple should be shot. Or where it should stand?"
Hakuei shook her head. "Not at all, Lord Kouen. Provided that you can shoot the apple any way you want."
Kouen smirked. "Then I wish to shoot the apple from the top of Judal's head."
Judal paled.
Five minutes later...
"Hey, c'mon, buddy, I was just joking, you don't have to actually shoot me." Judal said.
He might have sounded a lot more convincing if Kouha and Hakuryuu hadn't already tied him to a tree.
With an apple marked with an X in the middle placed precariously on top of his head.
"We're all adults here, no need to goof around like this. Let's settle this in a calm, reasonable manner."
Kouen notched his arrow.
"Kouen? Buddy?"
He aimed.
"Seriously? I know you're kidding. You are, right? Right? Rightrightright? RIGHT?!"
He pulled.
"WAITILIKEMYHEADTHEWAYITISDON'TDOTHIS!"
And he let go.
"KOUENNOOOOOOOOOO!"
THUNK!
The arrow landed right on the mark.
Judal smiled weakly. "Heh, I knew you were bluffing."
Kouen stared at him. "I missed," he deadpanned.
Judal fainted.
