They didn't talk about that day, the day that Derek could have lost the most important people in his life. It was the elephant in the room that nobody talked about. It had been three weeks and even though Meredith could have gone back to work now that her stitches were out, she had not. She couldn't risk putting them both in danger as she had again.

They were both laying in bed, neither one of them able to sleep. Every time his eyes closed, he was back there watching her hold that bomb.

It was still fresh in both their minds like it had just happened yesterday.

"Derek," she whispered, her voice filled with pain.

"Yeah, honey?"

"I never, I can't ever put our child in danger like that ever again. I can't stop thinking about it" she whispered. He knew how she felt, he couldn't either.

"I know Meredith, everything is alright." Meredith couldn't help how she felt. She felt like her mother, the world-famous Ellis Grey who always put her job before her family and she had vowed she would never do that to her child. But she couldn't help but feel like she was already failing her child before it was even born. She scooted closer to Derek, resting her head on his chest as she just needed the closeness.

He wrapped his arm around her, gently rubbing her back knowing she needed it. She was beating herself up. He knew he should be mad at her, but he wasnt...he couldn't be. They laid like that, cuddled up to each other until their alarm went off indicating Derek needed to get ready for work.

She saw him out the door, internally debating whether she should go in too. Deep down she wanted too but it was the internal fear stopping her from doing so.

She spent the morning tidying up the house and by lunchtime, she had decided to head into the hospital, knowing eventually she would need to get over her fears. She walked through the doors, watching as everyone bustled around feeling out of place. Like she didn't belong there anymore.

She shook the feeling off, heading up to the office of the chief.

"Meredith, how are you feeling?" Owen asked when Meredith walked in. Owen was the new chief, chief Webber having had retired a few months ago.

"I'm doing good, ready to get back to work... I think" she said.

"It's ok if your not, it's understandable."

"If I don't come back now, I may never come back," Meredith said knowing that was the truth.

Owen smiled, "Alright, I'm going to put you in the er today. I'm sure they could use some help down there."

Meredith nodded her head before heading down to the er, it was packed per usual.

"Ok Christina, what do we have?" Meredith asked pulling on a set of gloves. Cristina was about to talk but stopped in her tracks when she looked up, seeing it was Meredith. Meredith smiled at her.

"Ok well, this is Marci Woodmans, 35-year-old female she fell off a ladder trying to paint her house. She has a broken arm and a possible concussion."

"Has anyone paged neuro?" Meredith asked

"Not yet."

"Ok, go ahead and do that."

"Out of curiosity, does neuro know yours here?" Cristina smirked.

"Nope, he's in for the shock of his life" Meredith smiled.

And that he was. When Derek received the page that Dr. Grey was requesting a consult, he thought it must have been some sort of mistake. Lexie was dead and there was only one other Dr. Grey. It was impossible...unless he thought. He went down to the er, stopping in his tracks when he came eye to eye with his wife who smiled at him. He was more than shocked seeing her standing there. Quickly he assessed the patient, ordering her for a CT.

"Dr. Grey can I see you for a moment?" he asked when things were calm. She followed him into one of the on-call rooms.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" Derek asked, caught off guard.

Meredith sighed, "I wasn't originally going to but if I didn't. I realized I may never come back, I needed to face my fears, Derek."

"I wish you would have told me.'

"I know and I'm sorry. But baby Shepherd and I are perfectly fine and were going to stay that way. I'm going to see if I can stay working in the er or scut. Anything to give us both a little peace of mind."

Derek nodded. He was glad that she was facing her fears but still couldn't help but be afraid himself that they would get hurt again. They spent the next few minutes in each other's arms, Derek never wanting to let her go but when his pager went off, he knew he had to let go.

"Be safe?" he said. Meredith just nodded and watched as he left the room.

The end of the day found her sitting in the attending lounge, changing out of her scrubs. She ran her hand over her face, groaning. She was exhausted, just wanting to be in Derek's arms.

She had done it, she had faced her fear but there was a fear inside of her almost leaving her paralyzed. She was shaking as a tear streamed down her cheek. She thought she was ready, she thought she could handle this.

Derek knew Meredith should have been getting off work and hoped to catch her before she went home for the night.

"Mer?" Derek whispered slowly opening the door to the lounge. Meredith quickly wiped at her face before standing up to face him.

"Hey, are you ok?" He whispered walking over to her, placing his hands on each side of her hips. Once again she wiped at her face, knowing she was miserably failing at not letting him know she was upset.

"Yeah, no...I don't know. I don't even know why I'm crying" she laughed. "I thought I was ready to come back, I really did."

"It's ok if your not Mer, everyone will understand. It's not just you anymore."

"I know and that's the scary part. I have to think of our child now. Every time I entered a patient room, I was afraid that we were going to end up hurt."

"Don't push yourself, take some more time off."

"I think I need it too. She laid her head on his chest. I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too." He stood there, clutching her to his chest for a few minutes. He knew he should have been getting back to work, but he didn't want to let go.

"Mer?" He whispered. He looked down, hearing her light snoring realizing she had fallen asleep against his chest. He chuckled lightly before scooping her up into his arms. He headed over to a chair, sitting down as he rearranged Meredith so she cuddled against his chest. His patients could wait, his family would always come first.