AN: Here we are, another chapter here.
I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
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"They were gonna be born right here," Daryl said. "Right in that bed in there. We were gonna—wrap 'em in them blankets. Blue for him and pink for her. We had a plan. We were gonna get everything ready for Carol. Cover the mattress. Make it all comfortable and calm. She was gonna be in labor right here in our home. She was gonna do it how she wanted. I had a job. A clear, specific job. I knew what I was gonna do. It was my job to take care of Carol. Comfort her. Hold her hand. Rub her back. Whatever she wanted from me. I was going to keep her comfortable and then I was gonna be there to cut the cord. I knew what I was doing and what you were doing, and everyone knew what Carol was doing."
"We have a new plan," Alice offered. She was trying to sound as upbeat as was humanly possible about the whole situation. "And you and I have new jobs, but we can go through them and still make sure that everyone knows what they're doing. Carol's job is going to stay the same and, at the end of the day, that's the most important job. It's the only one that really matters. Everything else is just for decoration when those babies come. Carol's the real star of this show."
Carol's chest ached when she looked at Daryl. Maybe it was knowing that Andrea was back in the community with her baby that helped to soothe over Carol's anxiety. Maybe it was the fact that Sophia had been returned to her—even after all this time. Maybe it was simply the acceptance that this was how it had to be and nothing would or could change that, but at least she had her little family. As Alice said, at the end of the day, her family would be growing by two. That was all that really mattered.
With the promise of her family, Carol could tolerate anything that they could possibly dream up to put her through.
But Daryl looked so crushed that Carol had to draw in quick and shallow breaths against the pain his expression caused in her chest.
"In this plan," Daryl lamented, "I don't do anything. I might as well not even be there. I'm like some damn animal. The animal they want me to be. They just chain me up like my part ended a long damn time ago. Weren't nothin' but matin'. Fuck her. Knock her up. And I'm out. No good for nothin' else."
"You can't do anything toward the guards or the medical staff," Alice said. "Your wrists will be chained, but you'll have your hands. You can still touch Carol. I'm sure she'll still appreciate the comfort—especially since she'll be chained, too."
"Just having you there matters to me, Daryl," Carol said. "Whether you're—delivering the babies or just standing beside me and holding my hand? I'll feel better just knowing you're there."
"Mama's going to need a lot of feel-good from you," Alice said. "Bringing some babies into the world can be uncomfortable work. She's going to need someone beside her that just makes her feel better."
"I was going to help," Daryl offered to Alice in the same way he might have offered up the shattered remains of something he hoped she could somehow glue back together.
Carol saw his throat jerk as he fought to swallow against his feelings, and her chest squeezed tight in response. She swallowed against the knot in her own throat.
"They won't even let me help," Alice said. "I know that's no consolation to you, but my hands are tied. If it was me, Daryl, I'd let you help. You were going to be my right hand. I wasn't going to be able to deliver these babies without you. You know that. But—they won't even let me help. So we have a new plan. Our new plan is that you'll help still help Carol, but you'll help her differently. You'll hold her hand. You'll comfort her. But you won't touch anyone else. Still—you should rattle your chains a bit and really verbally fuss about it when they do take the babies. Snap and snarl and—a few words about how much you hate them would be a good touch. You've got to sell that you that you don't know they're coming right back as soon as they're cleaned up and checked out."
Carol swallowed a few times, rapidly. She nodded even as Daryl did the same.
"I think that will be simple enough," she said. "Daryl? Can you—handle that?"
Daryl frowned deeply, but he nodded his head.
"I can put on a show if that's what you need from me," he said. "Do I threaten them?"
"Threats," Alice said. "Yelling. Profanity. Really show them what the hell wild looks like. The only thing you absolutely have to do is restrain yourself to keep from touching them. You got that?"
Carol and Daryl both nodded their understanding.
"If you think about it," Alice said, "we can find the bright side to this. The silver lining."
"What kinda damn silver linin' you found?" Daryl asked.
He was upset. The birth wasn't going to go like they planned. It wasn't going to go like they'd rehearsed. They'd rehearsed it several times the way that they'd thought it would go—a peaceful home delivery—and now it was going to be something entirely different. When it started—whenever that might be—they would be taken to the hospital just the same as Andrea had been taken there. It would look nothing like the peaceful home-birth that they'd imagined for all this time.
"They have state of the art technology," Alice said. "The best technology we've got. If you need it to save a life, they've got it there. My clinic doesn't have half of that and your babies are coming long before we get the hospital up and running here in Woodbury. If something went wrong during the birth—really wrong? I'd have to call for backup. They'd come and they'd take Carol to a hospital anyway. The only difference is that we'd lose so much time between the moment that I really realized I was in over my head and they got Carol the help that she needed. She'll be in the hospital. She'll be right there. She's guaranteed to have access to everything she might need."
"And they gonna treat her like a fuckin' animal!" Daryl barked. "Chain her up! Make her give—make her give birth with her hands tied. Who's to say that they even gonna treat her like they should? Who can say they gonna be good to her? Gentle with her an' the babies? They ain't been gentle before. And I gotta stand there and watch whatever they do to her—can't do nothin' about it—because they'll shoot me in the head if I do anything an' they'll put a bullet through her brain for good measure. She's gonna be right there with all that technology, but we got no proof they'd use it to save her life. She don't mean nothin' to them. None of them know her like you know her. None of 'em know what she's like. They don't care. And they don't know that..."
Daryl stopped suddenly. His finger went to his mouth and he gnawed at it.
"What don't they know?" Alice asked.
Carol could see tears brimming in the woman's eyes, and she could hear her voice shake as she urged Daryl to tell her what they people at the hospital didn't know. She asked him to tell her what he needed them to know—what he needed everyone to know—just in case it was a message that she could somehow pass on to them.
Just in case it helped him to feel better to say it out loud.
Daryl frowned deeply enough when he moved his finger away that Carol wasn't sure that he wasn't going to shed a few tears over the whole situation.
"They don't know I love her," Daryl said. "They don't know—I need her. An' Sophia needs her. An' these babies—they gonna need her. You know that. But they—don't. An' what's worse? They don't care."
Carol wasn't as quick getting up off of her spot on the couch as she had once been. The babies were heavy. They were cumbersome. They stopped her from breathing properly or bending. They kept her from sitting with her back straight, and they made it uncomfortable to lie down. They made her pretty sure she'd never properly digest food again.
And they made her very, very slow moving.
But she worked her way out of her spot and she crossed the room as quickly as she possibly could to wrap her arms around Daryl.
And even though she felt enormous enough that she imagined everyone who saw her probably stopped to stare and wondered how it was someone could be so huge, Daryl somehow always seemed able to make room for her. He wrapped around her like he was somehow able to hollow out a part of himself for her to fit against him so perfectly—like a puzzle piece that had been carefully cut so that their every edge and curve touched without overlapping.
"I love you," she promised him.
"Love you," he echoed.
"Daryl—it doesn't matter, OK? I need you to understand that it doesn't matter. Whatever they say to me or—do to me? It doesn't matter. You let them do it. You let them say it. Whatever it takes to get through this? We'll do it. Because if we get through this, we get to bring our babies home. And they will do whatever they can to save our babies, Daryl. Because this whole thing falls apart without them. So—if they need to be nasty to me, or to you? We let them do it because that's what it takes to bring our babies home."
"I don't want you to go through that," Daryl said.
Carol smiled at him. She kissed his lips. He ran his fingers through her hair and tugged at the short curls. He kissed her again like he'd forgotten that Alice was in the room and waiting to finish her talk with them so that Willomen could bring Sophia back in time for dinner.
"When it's all said and done," Carol said, "it's just a day—maybe not even that—in our lives. We've been through worse. They've put us through worse. And—you've held my hand through worse. Made me feel better just by letting me feel you touching me. You'll hold my hand through this. And no matter what they do to me, it'll make me feel better to feel you there, Daryl, holding my hand. And when it's all said and done, we'll come back here. And then we'll start the next part of the plan."
Daryl looked over Carol's shoulder toward Alice. Carol smiled to herself. His mouth fell slightly open and his brow furrowed.
"You never got around to explaining the second part," Daryl said.
Carol laughed to herself.
"That's the easy part," Carol said. "It's the part where—I've just given birth to our babies and I need to rest. So you take care of me. And Sophia. And I take care of the babies and get them started so they can grow up strong while you...you take care of me."
"It's the most important part of all the plans, really," Alice offered. Carol smiled to herself again. At least Alice quickly caught on and was good at playing along.
"It is," Carol assured Daryl. He still looked surprised to discover there was a part to the plan of which he hadn't been aware. Or, maybe, he was simply surprised because, though he'd been planning on doing this all along, he'd never realized it was part of their official plan.
"And the coolest thing about it," Alice said, "is that—Mama here is the real superstar of the first part of the plan. But when it comes to the second part? Daddy—that's really your time to shine. You're like—the most important player in the second part."
Daryl looked at Carol. She nodded her head.
"I could give birth without you," Carol said. "But the rest? Daryl—you have to promise me. You can't do anything in that hospital room to make them take you away from me. Because—I could give birth on my own. But—the part that really matters? The part where I come back here and there's the rest of our lives with our children? Daryl— I would never want to do it without you. I couldn't."
Daryl kissed her. He rubbed his hands over her back.
"Don't worry," he promised her. "You won't have to. You won't never have to."
