A/N
Chapter 5. Darcy's visit to Longbourn has started – it will continue in the next chapter. This was a difficult chapter to write and completing the Longbourn visit would need a couple of days more... so thought of posting this today.
Thank you so much for the interaction/feedback, as usual will appreciate your thoughts on this instalment as well.
To Lisa – Thank you so much for the help!
A Little Magic Chapter 5As the door closed behind Bingley, Darcy decided to settle for the night, even though he was not feeling sleepy at all. When Bingley had turned up after dinner, offering to play a round of chess he had promised earlier, Darcy had felt guilty for accepting. To be able to listen to your opponent's thought would give him an unfair advantage, although he hardly needed one – with Bingley. He need not have worried. Whenever he did look up at Bingley from studiously staring at the board, that besotted fool was mooning over Miss Bennet. His thoughts were embarrassing enough for poor Darcy to return to staring at the chess board.
There was only one result which was possible in such a scenario. After winning the first round, Darcy pled tiredness, even though he had spent most of the afternoon dozing. Banes knocked and came inside his room soon after Bingley had left.
"I think I should stay in the dressing room tonight, sir. You are injured, and it would appear odd to the household if I am not at hand to help," Banes said once he had set the room to the rights.
"That would be for the best, Banes," replied Darcy feeling inexplicably relieved. Bingley had mentioned that since the afternoon Miss Bingley had been keeping to her room with a headache, but after what he had experienced earlier in the day, he was not prepared to lower his guard even a little. Even the thought of Miss Bingley succeeding in her nefarious plans was unbearable.
Once Darcy lay down, Banes bade him a good night and disappeared inside the dressing room. He tried to sleep for a while, unsuccessfully, then gave up the attempt. His mind was too active for sleep to overtake it. His thoughts touched once again on the special ability he had acquired but as before he had no answer to the most important question – why had all this happened? He sighed and decided to think instead about the coming day. What should he suggest to Mr Collins tomorrow? His first instinct was to go by Mrs Bennet's views. She believed that Miss Mary and Mr Collins were well matched, then it would be best to direct Mr Collins towards Miss Mary. Despite all her silliness, Mrs Bennet's matchmaking intuitions about Bingley and Miss Bennet were entirely correct. He purposely ignored the good lady's thoughts about himself and Miss Elizabeth. 'But I do not know how Miss Mary feels about all this. What if is she also is against marrying Mr Collins - just like her sister? Then it would hardly be fair to direct Collins towards her.' Feeling restless, Darcy thumped his pillow and tried to attain a more comfortable position. He attempted to recall whatever he could about Miss Mary. The only thing that came to his mind was a quiet, retiring girl – much unlike her boisterous younger sisters and beautiful elder ones. A girl who mostly stayed in the background. 'Unless she is performing on the pianoforte,' Darcy recollected her performance on the evening of the ball and grimaced. 'Anyone who marries Mr Collins would have to deal extensively with Aunt Catherine. In such a scenario a quiet, retiring young lady would definitely have better chances of a comfortable life than an impertinent, outspoken one,' he smiled faintly at the thought. Even his own inclination was to suggest Miss Mary's name to Mr Collins, but unless he knew that it would be acceptable to her, he could not do so. 'There is nothing for it but to somehow discern Miss Mary's feelings before I have my talk with Collins. It should not be too difficult with my new skill,' he decided.
With that decision made, he closed his eyes and attempted to sleep once more, but his mind refused to quieten down. It veered towards the many things he had learnt today – about himself and those, whose musings he had heard. While most of it had been humiliating, the most hurtful and shocking had been Miss Bingley's thoughts. He had always known that she was not the most kindhearted woman and was out for the main chance. He had never held it against her. Heck, more than half of those in the ton were a mercenary lot, always in search of a better deal; why expect any better from Miss Bingley? While he could never imagine tying himself to her, he had always held a vague sort of goodwill for her. After all she was Bingley's younger sister. It had, therefore, been a rude shock to listen to the callous indifference and the cold calculation of her musings.
Suddenly, a horrifying thought struck him – whenever he considered marriage, he also contemplated an advantageous marriage, to someone with good connections and good breeding – a marriage which would obviously be monetarily beneficial. How unlike was he then from Miss Bingley? The thought was disturbing enough to make him sit up. He closed his eyes and recollected the couple of times he had considered marriage in the last few years. Once to a daughter of a duke - a connection suggested by his Aunt Helen - Lady Matlock, and the other time to the sister of his friend James Saltash, the Earl of Moreland. Both young ladies had been beautiful and met all the criteria he had listed, but both times something had stopped him from going ahead. Now he tried to analyze why he had chosen not to proceed – to discover that 'something' that had stopped him. The reason he finally identified left him feeling almost weak with relief. Of course, he wanted a beneficial marriage - any sensible person would - but what had stopped him was the absence of a connection with the two young women in question. A connection he had always felt between his father and mother - one of mutual love and esteem – and had wanted for himself. If he had chosen emotional bonds over material benefits - he could not be like Miss Bingley, at all. The relief coursing through him stopped when he finally admitted with whom he had felt such a connection - which unlike his parent's bond was not mutual at all. For, Miss Elizabeth disliked him. He closed his eyes with a groan. He had admitted the truth – but what should he do about it? It would really be stupid in the extreme to ignore something he had found after unconsciously searching for it for so long. But could he really ignore all other considerations for this intangible bond? The beats of his heart gave him the answer. 'But she dislikes me,' he mumbled. 'But how can I forget that she smiled at me today,' he thought as he remembered the incidence from the morning. The first step then would be to atone for his mistakes, show her that he was willing to change and then find out if the feelings he had could ever be reciprocated?
~~~§~~~
The next morning when Darcy and Bingley entered the lane leading to the gates of Longbourn, they came upon Miss Jane Bennet and Miss Mary Bennet walking towards their home. The gentlemen dismounted from their steeds in order to accompany the sisters.
After the exchange of greetings, the group resumed their trek towards Longbourn. Since both gentlemen had their horses trailing by their sides, the young people divided themselves into pairs. Soon, Darcy found himself walking alongside Miss Mary Bennet. Bingley had naturally gravitated towards Miss Bennet, and the pair of them was walking some distance ahead, engrossed in each other. This time Darcy had easily been able to decipher Miss Bennet's expression of surprised pleasure when she turned her head and perceived Bingley. Either the lady was displaying her feelings more openly now, or he was getting more adept at reading them. Whatever the reason - he was gratified to see the couple's obvious happiness.
'If only Miss Elizabeth has accompanied Miss Bennet,' he thought with a sudden yearning, then admonished himself in the next breath. 'Even had she been here, I would more likely have discovered few defects in my character than enjoy a cozy chat as the very fortunate Bingley is doing,' he told himself wryly. 'Before I can even begin to dream about pleasant walks and enjoyable talks, I need to cover a long and difficult distance between like and dislike.' With a sigh, he shifted his attention to the young lady walking beside him. He had wanted to know Miss Mary's heart and here she was - most fortuitously. Rather than wasting his time wishing for the impossible, he should concentrate on something more helpful.
The words came as soon as he glanced askance at Miss Mary. "... good to see Jane so happy today, especially after the manner in which she had been moping around since yesterday. Although, to be honest... I truly could not comprehend why she should be so distressed - Mr Bingley had gone to London and not... to the end of the world! Mayhap I lack the proper sensibilities... but then Jane was never like this before... All this business of being in love seems quite... uncomfortable..." As Darcy watched her raptly, the young lady beside him pulled a face and kicked a small pebble in her path. Then as if realizing that she was not walking alone, she swiftly turned to look at him - but Darcy was quicker.
Satisfied that she had not been observed acting like a sulky child, she gave a relieved sigh. Then they both went back to their respective occupations.
"Now... Lizzy... her anguish I can understand... She did not say anything to Mama... but we all knew how she would respond if Mr Collins did make a proposal... Of course, she had then believed Papa would take her side... We all did... She must have been so hurt when he did not...Poor, Lizzy... ever since I have known how unhappy you are... I have been trying to... to help... and it is not as if... it would be a great sacrifice on my part... For I am not a romantic like you or Jane. I would much rather be married than forever be one of Mama's lamentations. Just imagine how surprised and... proud she will be if her plainest, most uninteresting of daughters is responsible for securing all our futures?" She sighed once again, and there was a sudden silence.
Darcy was very relieved to know that he need not feel guilty for directing Collins towards Miss Mary when she was desirous of the union herself. For his part, he could not imagine anyone wanting to marry the annoying parson but... to each his own. He could not complain, especially as it was going to help Miss Elizabeth. He had just opened his mouth to address a commonplace remark about the weather when he heard Miss Mary's musings once again and stopped himself.
"And although he may not be a very erudite person... and has this... this maddening habit of singing paeons for his esteemed patroness... Mr Collins is rather a kind and... a brave man underneath. Oh... I know you will laugh, Lizzy... but you don't know that he runs a small school for poor children in his parish. He is very scared of his patroness coming to know about it... but still he continues... as he believes it might help some of them get a better future. I find that rather brave... And... while he would hardly discuss works of Wordsworth and the Bard, he knows his Bible very well. That was the reason... I thought... I hoped that mutual interests and esteem would be enough... but it appears that even men of God place beauty above shared likes and dislikes..." Darcy observed the sad smile playing on her lips and the droop to her shoulders and his heart twisted in sympathy.
"Poor Lizzy... and... poor Mr Collins... I fear for them both. He does not even realize the resentment and contempt he engenders in her... A few years ago, even Papa's wit was not so biting, or cruel... and Lizzy is so much like him. Oh, Lizzy... I did try. If only I were a man, I would have proposed to Mr Collins myself to save you," Suddenly, Mary chuckled softly. "Really I seem to be losing my wits! If I were a man, how would I marry Mr Collins... and then the entail would already be broken..." She shook her head and turned to stare at her home which had just come into view. "May be there is still some hope. He could have proposed yesterday but he did not... More strangely, even Mama did not drop any hints for him to do so! I will continue to pray for a miracle... for all of us."
'I believe the miracle has already happened, Miss Mary, and from some strange reason I have been chosen as a medium. Like you, I will pray - that I do not make any mistakes. Luckily, it appears as if my strategy of yesterday worked rather well – Mrs Bennet and Mr Collins both have waited for my return to Longbourn.'
Darcy had already heard what he needed to know, so he looked away from Miss Mary to stop eavesdropping any more on her thoughts. Her musings had left him quite surprised and a little disturbed. Until now, all that he had noticed of her was a somewhat plain young woman who did not quite fit among the rest of her family. Now he realized she was a rather kind and loving sister – who, despite having enough reasons to resent her sisters - did not. She was also much more observant and compassionate than she outwardly appeared – after all, she was the only one in her family who had tried to look beyond Mr Collins foolish exterior and discover that he also had some hidden depths! She had also made him realize that a union between Collins and Miss Elizabeth was detrimental not only for the lady. It disturbed him that he had been considering Collins as only a means to an end and felt vaguely guilty for being so superficial and indifferent. Also, now that he had observed Miss Mary so keenly, had seen various emotions play on her face - he had been further surprised to note that she was not really 'plain'. She resembled Miss Elizabeth a lot - had the same dark colouring, and the same green eyes. 'Of course, the eyes were not as lovely as her sister's, but she did have a pleasant face. Perhaps if she did not keep her hair pulled back so tightly or wear these mud-coloured clothes, Collins might have recognized his kindred soul without all this planning on my part.' He thought with a wry quirk to his lips. 'I know I am being superficial once again but unfortunately that's the way of the world.' He looked up from his contemplations to note that they were already near the Longbourn stables, and a groom was extending his hands to take away Poseidon.
~~~§~~~
The first person who Darcy saw as he entered the parlour in Longbourn was Mrs Bennet.
"Oh, I knew I was right. He has come again today," Mrs Bennet thought happily, and Darcy was amused to notice the completely opposite nature of thoughts from yesterday. He returned the lady's effusive greeting and looked around. This time his gaze fell on Miss Elizabeth. "... really believed he would come, but thank God, he is here," Although Miss Elizabeth greeted him with less effusion her relief on seeing him was apparent and his heart picked up tempo, only to return back to its normal pace when he heard her subsequent thoughts. "Now, I will get some more time to convince Papa. I do not know if it is deliberate, but he has been very elusive since yesterday."
'Oh... so that is why Miss Elizabeth was so relieved to so me. How could I have been stupid to suppose anything else, even for a moment.' Darcy thought with rueful shake of his head.
"Mr Darcy, I am so glad to see you, sir," just like yesterday, Mr Collins beamed at him when he entered the parlour. He immediately made his way towards Darcy. "Thank the good Lord, Mr Darcy is here, finally my wait is over!"
A few moments later, Bingley and Jane also made their way into the parlour, Suddenly, there was quite a lot of fuss with everyone trying to welcome him and expressing their surprise on seeing him back in Meryton. Except for Mr Bennet, who was resting, and the two youngest Miss Bennets, who had walked to Meryton on an errand, everyone else was in the parlour. With a smug look in her eyes, Mrs Bennet ordered tea and refreshments for everyone.
~~~§~~~
A Little Magic
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