Disclaimer: I do not own TVD. All rights go to the rightful owners. Enjoy

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"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it. I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it."

- Taylor Swift


Chapter 2

You Again


Three Years Later

February 5th, 2019

The same cycle went as followed. Out of work at 4. Therapy session until 6. Dinner by 7 and asleep by 9pm. By midnight, wake up again. It's a cycle that Bonnie still has trouble ending. For the past three years, it's felt like she's put her life on a never ending loop of self destruction.

"Bonnie, if you continue to reminisce about the bad times in the past, you'll only be damaging your future." When those words came out of Dr. Fell's mouth, it became the only thing that has stuck with her for the past week. Ever since then, whenever Bonnie tried to open up and tell Merideth how she's really feeling, nothing but lies come out.

The sky was still pitch black and the air outside was freezing. The light of the moon and streetlight peeked through the window. It was midnight. Except it wasn't just another midnight, no. It was Bonnie's birthday. Her 21st to be exact. Saying a prayer in her head, she whispered to herself. "Happy Birthday."

It was also another night of waking up at midnight and not being able to fall back asleep. It was like nothing worked. Meditation was a no. It gives Bonnie anxiety if she's alone with nothing but her thoughts. Ocean sounds, rain falling, even playing music was a bust. All it did was make her wake up more.

There was only one viable solution. A solution that seemed to work most times. One that helped put her mind at ease. Just as Bonnie was going to get out of bed, the sound of her door creaking open, kept her still. Soft yet quick little footsteps approached the side of her bed.

"Mama?" a quiet voice asked. If only Bonnie could just see her big green eyes frowning.

Bonnie sat up, watching the tiny child try and climb into her bed. "What are you doin' awake, baby?"

"Up," she answered. And up she went.

Lying back, Bonnie let her daughter sit on her stomach. With little fingers in her hand, the young mother moved her hands to her daughter's back, allowing for the little girl to lie down.

Bonnie watched as her daughter snuggled up against her chest and listened as her breathing steadied. When low snores escaped the two and a half year old's mouth, Bonnie was able to breathe again.

Calista Shea Bennett was a blessing in disguise. Having Calista at a time of trials and tribulations, not only helped Bonnie out of those dark times but made Bonnie the woman that she is today. Calista was a light to Bonnie's world that would never get dimmed.

Come 9 the next morning, the toddler was sound asleep. This time, laying across the stomach of her mother who had to be quiet while getting herself up. Calista is a light sleeper. Bonnie had to learn that the hard way.

Exiting the nursery for the millionth time tonight, Bonnie cried. "Oh my god, I'm the worst mother." Calista was almost three months old and Bonnie was going on three months of barely any sleep. In almost tears, she hated the fact that she still had no idea what she was doing.

Caroline frowned, rushing to the side of her friend. Her hands cupped Bonnie's cheeks. "No, you're not."

"But I can't get her to stay asleep."

"She's just a light sleeper. You just gotta be extra quiet, yeah?" Caroline assures her. Nodding together, the two separated.

"Yeah… y-yeah. I can be quiet." Bonnie concluded, stepping away from Caroline. "I can do tha-" Unfortunately for her, Bonnie had accidentally stepped on a toy duck. Holding in a breath, she slowly lifted her foot. Out of the duck came a long and exaggerated QUAAACK.

The two girls looked at each other. Eyes wide and frozen. Bonnie held on tight to the baby's monitor. The two stayed still for about twenty seconds. Caroline smiled, "I think we're-"

As if on cue, loud wails came from the nursery. "Oh my god!" Bonnie screeched, although her tone was merely a whisper. With shaking hands, the young mother disappeared back into the nursery.

A tug at Bonnie's pants snapped her out of her daydream. Smiling softly, she knelt down so she was eye level with her daughter. "Are you ready to start the day? Go to grandma's house?"

"Gamma." Calista agreed.

Bonnie let out a laugh which her daughter copied. "Yeah? Let's go and get ready, my little bean."

A quick half hour later and Bonnie had her daughter bundled up so tight, she little girl had a hard time standing up straight. With Calista in one arm and her diaper bag hanging off of the other, Bonnie went towards the shelf that had her car keys on it. "Hat." Calista reminded.

Bonnie cursed mentally, looking down at her child. "You're right! I almost forgot your hat." Out of everything to forget, of course it was the hat. Making a u-turn, Bonnie beelined for Calista's room. Lightly kicking the door open with her foot, she set the toddler down. "Go and get your hat." She pointed out the clothing accessory so it was an easy find for her daughter.

Once the hat was retrieved and Calista refused to be held again by her mother, Bonnie went right back to the shelf. After collecting her purse and keys, the two exited their small home. "Wait, baby." Bonnie warned, Calista already trying to go down the stairs to their front porch.

Whilst shutting and locking their front door, Bonnie wished that she could watch her daughter simultaneously. Calista was quite a rambunctious child and was always ready to make an escape plan.

"Wheels on the bus go round and round." Bonnie sung out loud to the children's radio.

"Round and round." Calista sung back.

Coming up on a red light, the song continued. Looking blankly ahead, Bonnie zoned out.

Bonnie had never been late before. For anything. Especially not for her period, so when Caroline suggested that she take a pregnancy test made Bonnie want to puke.

"You need to be sure, Bonnie." Caroline pointed out. Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Do it."

After peeing on the contraption, the two sat in silence. What felt like two hours was only two minutes before they were able to look. "Do you want me to look for you? I know this is-"

"-Holy shit, Care." Caroline looked up at Bonnie who already had the test in sight.

A car sounded its horn, startling Bonnie. "Shit," she cursed out loud. The red light no longer being red. Swerving around her, the pissed off driver gave Bonnie the finger. Bonnie sighed. Another car honked from behind. "Okay, Jesus! I'm going! Fuck."

"Shit."

"Oh no. No baby, don't say that okay? Mama shouldn't have said that in front of you. I'm sorry." She apologized, glancing between the road and the mirror to look back at Calista.

The rest of the car ride to her mother's, Bonnie just prayed that Calista didn't repeat any more of those words that Bonnie shouldn't have even used in front of her in the first place.

It was almost 11 when Bonnie arrived at her mothers. Pulling up to the big blue house with the black windows and white shutters, Bonnie shut off her car. "Are you ready, bean?"

Calista nodded with closed eyes, shaking her hat in her hands. "Ya."

"Oh, you're here! Let me help you!" Abigail Bennett, Bonnie's mother exclaimed, running towards her daughter's car. "Let me help!"

Bonnie sighed and smiled at her mother who was already going after the backseat to get Calista. Bonnie intervened. "How about you take this instead?" She suggested, handing her mother Calista's diaper bag. "Thank you." Bonnie replied, giving her mother no other choice but to take the bag and the bag only.

"Of course, baby. No problem." Except it was a problem, everything Bonnie suggested was always a fucking problem.

Bonnie got her keys and purse and shut her door. Gliding to the backseat, she got inside the car again and unbuckled Calista. Calista reached for her mom who happily took her. Abby shut the door for Bonnie and led her daughter and granddaughter up to the house.

"I hope you're hungry!" Abby smiled.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. Not this again. "Surprise!" Voices exclaimed as soon as Bonnie had entered the house.

Trying to muster up a smile, Bonnie snickered. "Ha, you got me!" Not.

Abby giggled, hugging her daughter while squishing against Calista in the process. "Noo!" The two and a half year old whined. Abby let go of the two and gave room for Bonnie to let Calista down. Calista pushed her mom's hands away when Bonnie went to help her take off her jacket.

After unbuttoning the buttons, she allowed Calista to do the rest. Taking off her own jacket, Bonnie hung both hers and Calista's on the coat hanger. "Happy birthday, Bon!" Caroline smiled widely, hugging her best friend tightly.

"A drink, for you!" Spoke Matt who was shimmying a glass towards Bonnie.

"Trying to get me drunk already, Matty?"

"Hey! It's your birthday and you'll drink if you want to." He teased, winking at his good friend.

Bonnie smirked and took the glass, examining it. "What is this exactly?"

"It's a mimosa with strawberries." Caroline pointed out. "It's delicious! I made it." She beamed.

"And she's only had about three since I've been here." Matt pointed out, taking the new drink that Caroline had gotten for herself.

"Hey!"

"No fighting!" Bonnie teased, coming in front of Caroline who looked like she was ready to take Matt down. "You two act more like toddlers than Calista and she's literally a toddler." She pointed out before turning to Caroline. "I think you need food. So how about we get some?"

The two sauntered off to the kitchen where more people gathered. Bonnie looked over and saw Abby with Calista who was getting the little girl some food. "Happy birthday, little sis." Nathan whispered in her ear.

Bonnie smiled to him and Vicki, who was already hugging her. "If it isn't my legal, soon to be sister-in-law." Vicki smiled. "Are you ready for a night on the town tonight?"

Caroline butted in, "Oh yeah, she is! Girls only, baby!"

"I-I can't go anywhere tonight." Bonnie said. "I have Calista, remember."

"Your mom said that she'd have her for the night."

Of course she did. It was just like her… it was just like them to plan things without even asking Bonnie. To set up her entire night when she already had plans to spend her birthday with her daughter and her best friend. He who has yet to make an appearance.

Excusing herself from Caroline and Vicki, Bonnie went to her mother. "Can I talk to you?"

"I was just helping Calista with her food."

Bonnie looked at Matt who sat next to Calista. "Matt will do it. Right, Matt?"

"Oh definitely, no problem Bon."

"But…"

Bonnie ignored her mother and took her hand, learning them away from the party, the two entered Abby's room. "Bonnie, what's wrong?"

"Calista's not staying here tonight." She clarified.

"Well I just thought-"

"What? You thought what?" Bonnie asked. "That you can just make my plans and think that I'd just want to spend my birthday without my daughter? Because I don't. She's coming home with me and we're staying together."

"I never see her, Bonnie."

"Oh please. That's not my fault. You can see her whenever you want."

Abby walked over to the open bedroom door and shut it. "You make that nearly impossible for me, Bonnie! Everytime I bring up wanting to, you're always busy."

"Yes because I have a daughter who I take care of while working full time!"

"You can ask for me help! You know that."

Bonnie scoffed, crossing her arms around her chest. "That's surprising."

Abby sighed. "Bonnie, don't do that."

"Do what? Look out for myself? I mean, you're the one that kicked me out!"

"I did not!" Abby defended.

"So when you told me that I needed to make a decision, what did that mean? Huh?" She asked. "I was four months pregnant and you just turned your back on me. Me. Your own fucking daughter."

"You were not ready for a child, Bonnie! You were a child!"

"And you were my mother! You couldn't have at least tried to support me? To help me? It only took me leaving, me having a baby and raising her all by myself and two and a half years for you to finally want something to do with her?"

Abby shook her head, denying every claim that came out of her daughter's mouth. "No. No, I've always wanted to help. I was helping then and I am helping now."

"Your definition of help seems to be pretty fucking outdated, Abby."

Abby's face turned to pure shock. "You better watch your mouth, Bonnie." She warned. "If your father were here-"

"-If my father were here, he'd be on my side. He's done more for me than you ever have. Helped me finish college early, he helped me get a job, a stable place for Calista and I to live… He did everything he could have done and I will always be grateful for that… for him."

Bonnie told her mother off. What was once a happy smile, turned into a frown as Abby watched her daughter go over to the door. "She can stay. One night, got it?"

Abby nodded though Bonnie couldn't see it. "Thank you."

"I work in the afternoon and have a doctors appointment afterwards. So I'll be back to get her at 7. 7 on the nose. Not a minute early, not a minute late." Leaving the room, Bonnie went back into the kitchen and dining room area. Matt was still aiding Calista with her food and making small talk with the child, who seemed to enjoy the company of him.

A small hand touched Bonnie's arm. "You okay, Bon?" Caroline asked.

Bonnie placed her hand on Caroline's and squeezed it gently. "Yeah.. yeah, I just need some air. I'll be back." Leaving her own party, the 21 year old grabbed her jacket and went out on the porch.

Bonnie sat on the porch swing, her leg shaking uncontrollably. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to control her breathing. Her nerves were completely shot and all she wanted was to hug her best friend.

"Bonnie…" Stefan breathed out. Taking all of him in, Bonnie got up and ran down the steps. "Happy birthday," he said, holding her tight.

Upon pulling apart, Bonnie hit him in the chest. "Where the hell have you been?! I've been dying here without you."

Stefan sighed. "I had to go to the airport."

"Why? Is your mom in town?!" He shook his head. "Okay then, I don't..."

Stefan took her hands and she searched his face. "Bonnie," Giving him a smile, he didn't reciprocate. "Bonnie." Stefan repeated.

"What? Stop it!" She pushed him away, taking a few steps back. "You're freaking me out, what is it?"

Stefan frowned, his eyes not leaving hers. There was no easy way to tell Bonnie this. It was like ripping off a bandaid. Whether he did it slowly or fast, it'd still hurt her. No words had to be said. An appearance did one better.

"H-Hey," a voice said. Bonnie pushed Stefan again, looking at him. Her eyes unknowingly filling with tears.

Shaking her head, her eyes begging Stefan not to move. "Stefan" She whispered, her voice was full of warning.

Taking steps up the stairs and onto the porch, Stefan moved to Bonnie's side. Eyes no brighter than the day they left stared into hers. Damon Salvatore was standing here. There. Right in front of her and his brother. A frown grew prominent on Bonnie's face, her wide eyes not being able to look away.

He wanted to do so much. To touch her face, take her hand… he wanted to hug her and kiss her, say some things that should have been said before. Except he couldn't.

"Happy, uh, happy birthday, Bon."

And a happy birthday it was… until it wasn't.


This story is definitely going to be drama filled.

Bonnie's bond with her daughter, (surprise) is a super close and strong bond that can't be replaced. As for her bond with her mother, it's quite strenuous and they're definitely not close.

Her relationship with Stefan is about to be tested. Now more than ever, especially with Damon being back.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and reviews are always welcome. Let me know what you think :)

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