A/N: *le gasp* what's this? two oneshots in one day? yep.

Because I accidentally did my classwork for homework so I have nothing to do in class. This is what happens when you give me free time.


"So Baku, who would you have sex with in our class?" Kirishima asked, hanging upside down from Katsuki's bed.

"Why the fuck are you guys asking me a million fucking questions?"

"Because we have nothing better to do." Kaminari said from the floor.

Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina all came barging into Katsuki's room and began talking his ear off. Then, they eventually got bored and started asking a bunch of questions.

"I'm not answering that fucking question."

"Well if you don't answer then we'll have to guess." Mina chirped. Katsuki shuddered at the thought. His 'friends' probably had some pretty fucked up ideas floating around where their brains should be.

His friends began talking amongst themselves, trying to figure out who it could be.

"Hmmm, well I think it's Uraraka." Mina said, "She's pretty, has good grades. Seems like someone Bakugo might be interested in."

Sero shook his head. "Definitely Momo. She's hot and rich. She has an awesome quirk, and she has excellent grades."

"What about Tsu? She's pretty cute" Kaminari suggested.

"Would you guys just shut the fuck up? You haven't guessed it and you're not gunna at the rate you're going." Katsuki said

Kirishima sort of nodded, "Ah! So you're gay. If that's the case, Todoroki would be my bet. He's pretty hot, has really good grades, and he's rich."

"The fuck? I wouldn't have sex with that half and half bastard." Katsuki growled

Mina perked up, "Guys! It has to be Midoriya! I mean, they were childhood friends, Deku is hecking adorbs, and he has good grades! Baku may be an ass to him but I think they would make a perfect match."

Katsuki went silent.

"Mina….. That makes absolutely perfect sense!"

"Baku likes Midoriya? They would be totally hot together." Kaminari said

"Who the hell said I would fuck that damn nerd?" Katsuki growled. Mina turned and looked him directly in the eyes.

"If he was bent over, completely naked in front of you, you're telling me you wouldn't fuck him?" Mina said raising an eyebrow.

"What the FUCK? Okay, you guys are a little too fucked up. Get the hell out of my room."

"Shut up." Mina said, whipping out her phone and she began furiously texting.

Katsuki pulled out his phone due to the fact that it was buzzing like crazy.

He let out a loud groan, as he read the messages to the group chat.

Pinkie: Baku said that he would fuck Midoriya!

Hard_boi: yep. He did.

Big_titties: wait, really? Bakugo said that?

Emo_big_bird: I have trouble believing this.

Uravity: WAIT! FOR REAL!? I'M GETTING DEKU!

Icy_HOT: I mean, we all expected they would end up together sooner or later.

Green_bean: what's going on? Uraraka told me to check the group chat.

Uravity: read previous messages.

Green_bean: wait…. Kacchan said that?

Lord_explosion_murder: i didn't fucking say that! I wouldn't have sex with that damn nerd.

Green_bean: are you sure?

Lord_explosion_murder: wtf is that supposed to mean.

Uravity: hold on, are you saying you would have sex with bakugo?

Green_bean: no!

Green_bean: maybe….?

Uravity: omg! you would!

Green_bean: WHO WOULDN'T? I mean you can't tell me you wouldn't have sex with him!

Icy_HOT: he has a point.

Lord_explosion_murder: deku and Icy hot? I am surrounded by pervs!

Grape_rape: yep.

Green_bean: you wouldn't have sex with me?

Icy_HOT: I would.

Uravity: we know. You would fuck anyone. Now, shut up and let the Bakudeku happen.

Lord_explosion_murder: stop asking me questions.

Green_bean: so you wouldn't.

Lord_explosion_murder: I didn't fucking say anything when they asked me!

Pinkie: and you still haven't

Lord_explosion_murder: and i'm not going to, so leave me the fuck alone!

Green_Bean: i just want to know whether i have a chance to have sex with you or not. (or being with you in general.)

Pinkie: go out with the damn boy! He obviously likes you.

Lord_explosion_murder: SHUT UPPPPPPP!

Pinkie: HE'S BLUSHING!

Lord_explosion_murder: I HATE ALL OF YOU!

Pinkie: doesn't change the fact that you wanna have sex with Izu

Lord_explosion_murder: shut the fuck up!

Green_bean: if ya want me, i'm in my room. ;)

(5 minutes later)

Lord_explosion_murder: i'll be there in 10 minutes.

(Lord_explosion_murder has went offline)

Pinkie: omg! He's leaving!

As_ your_class_representative: I can't stop you from sexual interactions while in the dorms but I must ask you to keep it down.

Big_titties: use protection!

Uravity: have fun

Icy_HOT: tell me how it was.

Big_titties: you are such a pervert

Pinkie: have fun you two!

Green_bean: oh, we will ;)

(Green_bean has went offline)

Uravity: and we thought deku was innocent

(30 minutes later)

Discount_Pikachu: holy fuck, i can hear them through the walls

Pinkie: lol

Grape_rape: YUMMY

Uravity: does it sound like fighting, or fucking?

Discount_Pikachu: unless Midoriya screams "Harder Kacchan~" and "Ah! Right there!" Every few minutes when they're fighting, i'm pretty sure they're fucking

Pinkie: that, or baku's giving him an intense massage, which i highly doubt.

Uravity: well, i'm glad we finally got them together. The sexual tension between them was overwhelming.

Icy_HOT: anybody feel like giving me a handjob or possibly a blowjob? This conversation has given me a boner

Grape_rape: i will!

Icy_hot: get here in under two minutes and i'll let you blow me.

Big_titties: you guys are all complete perverts….


A/N:I was gonna write a lemon but I didn't cuz I'm a failure