In response to a prompt I received on Tumblr: Regina's PoV of Robin being shot.
It's strange how detached you can become when you let fear rule your every move.
When she'd first started getting these ridiculous threats, Regina had shut down, isolated herself and refused to even acknowledge the fact that someone out there wanted to hurt her. When it became real, she'd lashed out, and accused Robin of wanting to play hero rather than be with her (not her proudest moment, that one). Then, when he and Mal warned her to stay away from public events until they caught the culprit, she'd declined their request to remain at the White House where she was safe, too worried over the reactions people would have if she missed the Correspondent's Dinner, too preoccupied with her own attempts at downplaying the threat to accept the notion that maybe, going out in public when there's a killer on the loose is a bad idea.
And now she's paying for it.
It'd been wonderful at first, her in her midnight blue gown, pressed close to Robin, his hands roaming her body as they made out backstage, the slight possibility of getting caught adding a sort of thrill to their little moment. His lips had been so hungry, so perfect, and god help her, she'd been so close to sneaking away, to rucking up the heavy skirt and asking him to fuck her in her dress, and then David, curse his timing, had called her to the stage, ending their little tryst behind the curtain.
Her speech had been as well-received as Gold said it would be, and she'd been feeling pretty confident that the night had been a complete success, her mood giddy and excited as she exited the event, stopping by every few steps to shake some hands, pose for a photo or two...
She should've known it was all too good to be true.
Regina doesn't recall much, can't really pinpoint the moment it happened out of all the blurry, scary images in her head, all she remembers is the sounds, the loud, haunting bang of the gun, the sickening crack of Robin's head against the pavement, and that one split second of terrified silence that followed.
She remembers the blood, how it soaked her hands as she'd practically thrown herself to the floor to hold him. She remembers screaming at her security team, at Mal particularly, angrily shouting that she would not leave him, pressing her hand into the wound even as they all tried to pry her away. She knows it was a petulant and unbelievably stupid thing to do, to remain in the open like that, such an easy target for whoever was trying to kill her, but she'd been at his side, where she belongs, where she should've been this entire time, but hadn't been able to because she has to keep their relationship a secret, a trap of her own making.
Mal's been with him, though, has assured her he's fine, and Regina, in turn, has assured Roland that his father is safe and healthy, that the wound was minor, finally calming the boy down after much crying on both their parts. She knows he's seeing him now, Ashley had come to take him ten minutes ago, and she's glad for it, knows it'll do the poor child some good to see his daddy alive and well, despite the gruesome and scary reports he'd seen on the news.
She's trying to address the situation, trying to listen to Ursula and Mal as they bicker over security protocols and how best to interrogate the shooter, a young man Mal has informed them used to work as part of Sidney's security detail.
That's been another shock, finding out it's Sidney Glass who's after her. She'd known he'd be angry and attempt some sort of revenge, but she'd thought it would involve blackmail of some sort, getting some fake dirt on her and threatening to leak it to the public, she hadn't expected him to go this far, and she doesn't know whether to be scared or angry or both.
Right now, she's just distracted, though, too much going around in her head to pay attention to what the two women beside her are fighting about, until a gentle hand presses into her shoulder and has her looking up at Mal.
"Honey, you should go to bed," she tells her.
"No, we have to figure this out," Regina replies, even though she has no idea what 'this' is, she hasn't really been listening.
"You're pale, and you're shaking, you've been through a lot today. Go, get some rest, we'll take care of everything," Mal insists, and she's really in no mood to put up a fight right now, so she agrees, gets up from her chair in the situation room and leaves the others to it, zombie-walking herself up to her room.
She doesn't sleep.
When the clock on her nightstand tells her it's 4AM, Regina gets up, unable to stay cooped up here any longer. To hell with keeping a respectable distance for the sake of appearances. She needs him, needs to touch him and kiss him and make sure he's alright.
She gets dressed for the day, foregoing the makeup at this early hour, and then heads out of her room and straight to the medical wing.
The sight that greets her as she walks in brings her to tears, because it's upon seeing him there, hooked up to IVs and sleeping, arm covered in bandages, that she realizes just how much she's hurt him, how much she's put him through. This is all her fault, all he's ever wanted is to love her, to take care of her, and it nearly got him killed.
It hits her then, that Robin could have died without ever hearing a I love you from her, all because she's been so hellbent on protecting herself, when all along it was him she should've protected. She'd fooled herself into thinking her reluctance to say the words was some sort of magical barrier that would keep them both safe from getting too deep into this, a failsafe that wouldn't allow him to steal her heart with his loving touches and delicious kisses and beautiful soul. But the truth is, you can't steal something that's been given to you, and Regina has willingly given him her everything, had happily succumbed to his affections long ago, she just hadn't had the guts to admit it.
She's been there for almost an hour when he stirs, and she doesn't give him a chance to take in his surroundings before she's launching herself at the bed, throwing her arms around him and weeping into his neck, apologizing over and over again through kisses and tears, and I'm fine, he keeps telling her, but he's not, he's injured, and could've died, and it's all because of her, because he loves her.
Regina grips him tighter, sobs harder, and suddenly feels him flinch under her. God, she's an idiot.
She moves away, ghosts a hand over his wound and asks him if it hurts, if he needs anything, and he just smiles, the bastard is lying there with a gunshot wound in his arm and he smiles, even has the gall to flirt with her.
"I love when you're concerned about me," he tells her, grinning and kissing her like it's no big deal, like she's taking care of him during a cold or something equally meaningless, and it has more tears leaking from her eyes as she stares at him, dumbfounded.
"Regina..." He starts, but she doesn't let him speak, spews some frustrated concern his way.
"Why the hell did you do that?!" She demands, "You could've died!"
"I told you I would protect you."
That's it, that's all he says, and it irks her, because how dare he be so wonderful?! More importantly, how dare he risk being wrested from her world when all she wants is to keep him in it forever?
"...I won't let you," she tells him, because she won't, not like this, her protection is not worth his life.
"Why not?"
And that's the moment she decides to tell him, because she's done keeping it inside, done hiding it, and from now on, not a day will go by where she doesn't do everything she can to keep him safe.
"Because I love you, you big moron!" She fires back, adamant about her plan, and then he's smiling, big and bright and gorgeous.
"Had I known it would take a bullet for you to finally say those words, I would've jumped in front of a gun a lot sooner," he quips, and dammit, this is not the time for him to be making jokes like this.
The moment is far from perfect, not one she would've hoped for to say her first I love you to him. She's still crying, for one, nose red and eyes puffy and wet as she sobs and sobs, and this is a horrible situation, not the romantic gesture he deserves, but then he's cupping her cheek, bringing her towards him and dropping kisses all over her face, loving presses of his lips on her cheeks and brow and nose and lips before he tells her he loves her too, that he'll do anything to keep her safe, and no, that's not what she wants, it's her turn now.
She asks him, begs him to promise her he won't do something like this again, but he refuses, and Regina then does the one thing she can, and demotes him, assigns him to David's security, far away from her and the danger she faces, and leaves the medical wing in tears...
