Chapter 3

Cold feet

I've been thinking about our conversation with Miss Isles. She shared something so personal with me and I didn't know what to think. Was that all to encourage me and sooth me because of Joey's mean words or was there something more? Maybe it was all sympathy and I was just being hopeful. But in both ways I really wanted to show my affection to her. I just had no idea how. I wanted to make it subtle. Just make a hint at her. I wanted her to notice me. Honestly, what I really wanted was to tell her about the attraction I feel for her. Straightforwardly. But I couldn't do that. So I had to think of something else.

I started thinking of ways to hit on her. How could I show my interest? Flirt with her perhaps? But I wasn't very good at flirting and actually, I had absolutely no idea how to flirt with someone. There was a first time for everything. I just had to try. But then I started thinking how to flirt with her? What to do? And what to say to her? Nothing came to mind. Then I got it - pick-up lines! That sounded like a good idea. To use pick-up lines and hit on her. Easier said than done. Which pick-up line is appropriate for her? I decided to look in internet so I wrote pick-up lines and started reading, choosing the right one. "I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?" Nope. That wouldn't do the job. It wasn't very subtle. "Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!" That sounds better but still - I wasn't sure it was appropriate. But I gotta confess, it sounded like it was written specially for her. The next one was: "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!" That was even better - it was all true. I could get lost in her eyes, I could spent hours just looking at her. And every time I take a glance at her everyone in the room disappears. It just seems like we are all alone in the classroom. But still, the line wasn't very appropriate. She might not understand what exactly I mean with that one. So I continued reading: "I lost my teddy bear can I play with you?" Or "I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you?" They were both way too much. They sounded very inappropriate to me. I would never muster enough courage to say something like that to her. The next one said: "They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you." That one was very cheesy, so no. "For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But when you came along, you definitely turned me on." Does she turns me on? Well, yeah, of course she does but I can't tell her that straightforwardly. I wouldn't be able to look at her face anymore if I say that to her. So I continued searching for the right pick-up line. I read many others but they were all over the top or a bit stupid or very inappropriate. Then I read another one. "Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!" Was that good? At least it could suggest that I like her which was the main point. And plus, all the pick-up lines I've read were kind of dull. So that must do it. Or at least I hoped so. After I chose the right pick-up line, I stood in the mirror and started saying it to see how it sounds like. To prepare myself for tomorrow. Unfortunately, I didn't have a picture of Miss Isles to look at her when I say it so I had to use my imagination. I imagined her, standing in front of me and I practiced my line for a few times. It didn't sound like the best line, I knew that, but I've read so many pick-up lines and that was the best I could find. I just hoped she would hear me out and maybe say something after that. Also, I was hoping she wouldn't laugh at me. But I was really nervous, wondering for hours how would she react.


The moment finally came. I've been rehearsing that pick-up line for so long and now during biology class, I was trying to muster my courage. After class I went to the teacher's desk, feeling a bit nervous and excited. I waited till everyone left the room and then I began.

"Miss Isles, I wanted to ask you something."

"Alright," she answered and smiled politely at me. I breathed out, mustering enough courage to begin.

"Where are you from?" I started confidently but that was the easy part. "Are you from Tennessee?" I quickly continued before she could say anything, feeling a bit nervous, "because you're..." And in that moment all my courage disappeared. I got cold feet. "Because you," I repeated but I just couldn't say it. I couldn't make myself say such thing to her. "You... you look like you're from there," I stuttered nervously in the end, and I couldn't even look at her.

"No, I am from here. I am from Boston," she answered politely.

Just my luck! How could I be so stupid! I felt so embarrassed. I was probably red from embarrassment.

"Oh, okay..." I murmured, feeling really, really embarrassed. I wished I could disappear. I wished the ground would swallow me up.

"Why are you asking?"she asked and I looked at her, biting hard my lip.

"Oh... I uhm... I was just curious. That's all."

I had to do something. I had to say something else, to make her forget my stupid behavior. I had to ask her something. A normal question, for instance. If that was even possible. I thought of something. A question which was a bit personal. I wasn't sure should I ask her but could it get any worse than that?

"Can I ask you a personal question, Miss Isles?"

"Yes, of course. You can ask me anything."

"Are you married?" I asked but in my mind that question sounded a bit inappropriate. I thought that it might offend her because she's not that old. I mean, she could be young and married or old but still single - that was not a criteria. But I don't know, it just didn't sound right. "Or maybe... uhm... I mean are you single?"

"Yes. Currently I am single, Jane. And to answer your question, I have never been married," she informed me. "I ended my relationship a year ago," she continued telling me. "I mean... we had our problems so she and I broke up. But that's a long story and you don't want to know about it."

"She? Are you dating women?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I don't strictly date women. I have dated men too. I just fall in love with the person. It doesn't matter their sex or religion," she started confessing to me, being so open and honest with me. "But you wouldn't understand... What matters the most to me is their personality... " After a small pause, she asked: "Is there a specific reason you are asking?"

"Nope," I muttered under my breath.

"Okay. Do you have any other questions you want to ask?"

"No. Thank you," I said and hurried to leave the room.

Great! Now she probably thinks I am an idiot! Again! Now we are back to the beginning. But I was surprised by her honesty. She answered my questions with specific details and plus, she was being so nice to me. She didn't even laugh at me, but I think that she didn't suspect I was hitting on her. How could she? - she probably didn't know that pick-up line. So I was kind of relieved. At least she didn't suspect anything.