Alice in Undertale
By Lolitafreak88
Chapter 22 Welcome to the Tea Parlor
Upon stepping into the next area of Hotland, Alice found that there were more arrow squares from earlier though this time there was something else present besides the arrows themselves. They were white squares with a red dot in the middle and seemed to be some sort of switch themselves. Alice frowned at this new and mysterious variable added into Hotland's navigation system. She was beginning to lose her patience already with the puzzles themselves and now they were becoming even more complicated. Alice began to approach the square when her phone rang again. Resisting the urge to toss the phone into the ground, Alice noticed the message was actually a sign of hope and relief for her mental stability. 'that's the last time i try to help with a puzzle lmao'. Alice said nothing as she took a few steps forward in preparation for an inevitable phone call.
"Uh, h-h-hey! I'm going to the bathroom, so I'll be MIA for a bit."
"If I may ask, what does 'lmao' and 'MIA' mean?" Alice asked, sounding noticeably calm despite her earlier frustration with Alphys.
"L-laughing my… ... attitude off? Y-yeah… and then MIA means missing in a-action. I'm… I'm sure you can handle this puzzle yourself!" Alphys explained a bit hastily before signing off.
Alice set down the phone into her apron pocket and stood there, watching the switches and surroundings calmly. Then with a jolt of sudden movement, she jumped into the air with her arms raised in total victory. She bellowed a mighty battle cry,
"YES! At last! I can properly explore Hotland without any distractions again!"
As childish as it was, Alice couldn't help but celebrate at Alphys leaving her be for some time. The lizard scientist meant well but it was becoming too prominent to seem truly genuine and it was getting increasingly off-topic as well. Now the little girl could begin to solve these problems through her intelligence alone and not by some hints. As soon as she stepped on the new white and red square, she noticed something changed about some of the further arrow squares. Some of them sank into the ground and new ones sprouted towards directions that weren't originally there. It seemed these new squares affected which arrow squares would pop out at once and thus changed the overall layout for the traveler. This is much like Papyrus's X and O puzzle, Alice realized. I'll have to use some trial and error to get the hang of this. Indeed the little girl quickly began soaring and triggering the different switches and realizing that triggering the same switch would revert the arrows back to the beginning. So after going back and forth on a certain pair of switches, she was able to forge a perfect path to a new area that she had yet to reach before.
"Ah-ha! I've done it! Way to go me." Alice chuckled to herself.
She was definitely feeling her old adventurous spirit coming back to her after solving the puzzle and being given more privacy to decide her journey. Speaking of old though, the next area held a very familiar site to Alice.
"Oh… isn't that the same mousehole from the previous areas?" Alice asked herself.
Indeed, there was a mousehole imbedded on a piece of rocky terrain and an out of place table with a microwave resting upon it. As Alice was about to approach it, her phone chimed again.
"Oh for the love of tea! How many more updates can one monster stand to post?!" Alice growled in frustration as she examined Alphys's latest concern.
'OMG ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? LOLLLLL that's a joke right…' Oh that was the thing Mettaton and Alphys mentioned in that quiz show, Alice realized. Although what caught her eye more was the subtle entitled tone between what Alphys put down. It was implying Alphys felt that this opinion was beneath her own opinion and showed a bit more of a serious if intimidating side to the scientist. Alice then proceeded to investigate the microwave… or what she thought was a microwave. Instead it turned out to be some sort of robotic box with lasers protecting a piece of cheese inside. They had melted the edges of the cheese and thus kept it stuck to the table. All in all it seemed unnecessarily complicated and a bit cruel in regards to the mouse. Knowing and hoping that the mouse might one day hack the computerized safe and get the cheese filled Alice with DETERMINATION. Trying to make some ground, Alice found another update had developed. 'Omg… DON'T THEY GET IT RUINS Mew Mew's ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC. My Mew Mew 2 Review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 is neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars'
"I suppose it is best that I don't question her tastes for the time being." Alice said to herself as she felt a bit shaken by how serious Alphys was taking a piece of fiction.
Considering as well that her Wonderland was apparently a piece of existing fiction, it made Alice nervous to find out what Alphys thought of her world. Was it a favorable opinion or very harsh disdain just like this unfortunate Mew Mew 2? I'm speaking nonsense again, Alice realized as she was losing focus and needed to be more alert. She realized she was in an area where pipes spewed steam rhythmically and it was long and straight until it turned right. Alice was nearing that specific turn without an interruption when suddenly a familiar voice rang out. Fortunately it wasn't Mettaton's but Alice had to take some time to recall whose it was.
"Hey! You! Stop!"
"Wait a moment… that sounds like… oh dear." Alice gulped and turned around once she realized who it was and where it was coming from.
Indeed, the two Royal Guards she had encountered outside Alphys's lab were approaching her swiftly. Granted they had been very cordial to her earlier and explained a few things, something told Alice they weren't going to be as pacifistic as before. The floppy-eared guard was the one who called out to her and spoke once more to her,
"We've, like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a blue dress and apron. They told us that they were wandering around Hotland right now... I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you someplace safe, OK?"
"... Wait a moment, what are you saying?" Alice asked, completely unprepared for what the guard told her.
Not only did he seem to be looking out for her by warning her about this 'human', who was so obviously Alice that it seemed like a disgrace not to recognize her, but also offered to get her to safety. If Alice wasn't one for accuracy and reason she would've been flattered but right now she was just sympathizing with Undyne right now. I can't imagine how frustrated she would be that her guards were so oblivious, Alice thought as she resisted the urge to facepalm. Although Alice suddenly realized that it may have been in her best interest to play along with this ruse, it seemed as though the pointy-eared guard leaned in close to whisper something to the floppy-eared guard.
"...Huh? What is it, bro? The dress they're wearing? … like, what about it?" The talkative guard inquired as he and his partner faced Alice.
"Wait, are you two brothers or is that more of a nickname?" Alice decided to try changing the subject.
The floppy-eared guard seemed to jump up, antsy at what Alice asked. He waved his hands and sputtered,
"O-oh… n-no we're not brothers… i-i-it's just a nickname…! Y-yeah! Anyways… something tells me he's thinking what I'm thinking."
"A-and what might that be?"
"Bummer. This is, like… Mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff." The floppy-eared guard sounded resigned as he and his partner suddenly assumed an aggressive stance.
Perhaps I should've just played dumb blonde in the end, Alice thought with some embarrassment at letting her pride oust her identity so quickly. Alice wasn't as intimidated by these Guards as opposed to Undyne herself from their earlier behavior but avoiding this sort of encounter would've likely helped her out in the long run. Alice analyzed both of them to find they were named RG 01 and RG 02, the floppy-eared one and the pointy-eared one respectively. RG 01 had shining, polished armor while RG 02 had stuffy armor. The contrast between the status of their armor was a bit amusing to Alice if also a bit strange. Wouldn't members of the Royal Guard be given the same quality of armor for maximum performance? Or did it end this way due to how the guardsman took care of their armor? Either way, both the guards were still of a respected order and Alice needed to defend herself successfully.
"Like, team attack." RG 01 said.
"... team attack." RG 02 said at the exact same time.
Alice found herself tangoing with projectiles that could only be described as shaped like a glowworm or perhaps a screw used in lightbulbs. They approached her from top to bottom but were decently slow despite the extra coverage. This allowed Alice to maneuver successfully around the projectiles and keep her going. Alice noticed that sweat was pouring out of 02's armor, which was probably contributing to the unclean state of it. Alice thought about what would be best for it, her hand placed to her cheek. Ultimately there was only one thing that seemed right for the situation, a fresh clean. She pulled out a handkerchief from her apron pocket, approached RG 02 and wiped his armor down neatly. RG 01 turned to her in shock while RG 02 seemed to merely huff in disinterest.
"There, now you should feel a bit more comfortable I imagine!" Alice chimed in cheerfully.
"Like, perish and stuff." RG 01 announced in a slightly bitter tone.
"... getting … warmer." RG 02 seemed even more uncomfortable than before in his response.
Alice was puzzled as she dodged the next series of attacks, which were now shaped like a morning star. She had cleaned off all the dirt, why would he be feeling warmer…? Oh! Perhaps that dirt cooled down the armor by blocking off the heat, Alice realized. It certainly made the most sense given the environment they were in and the fact it was still very hot. Alice had grown used to it but for someone who hadn't been used to it…
"... can't … take it. … armor… too… HOT! … much better." RG 02 shouted as he stripped himself off his chestplate and showed perhaps the most skin Alice had ever seen.
"E-eep! Warn me next time you decide to undress in public!" Alice cried, averting her eyes as she began to blush.
His skin was a dark, serpentine green and his muscles were… exaggerated to say the least. In fact he was very well fit with defined pecs, shoulders, and… other things Alice felt she wasn't old enough to speak about. The little girl now felt very embarrassed about causing this awkward fiasco until she noticed something. RG 01 was shaking in his boots and seemed incredibly flustered, sweat flying from his helmet. He appeared bothered… or perhaps nervous about something that was to his right. It appeared he noticed the physique of his 'bro' and was intrigued by it but too ashamed to point anything out. But why would he respond like that? Alice thought in genuine confusion. If they had been partners all this time wouldn't they have grown familiar with one another as comrades and not be so flustered about seeing them unclothed? Unless…
'It's always been a part of our culture. Humans have had to fight long and hard for those rights I hear but monsters have never really judged like that.'
"Oh…! Of course… I get it now!" Alice exclaimed to herself upon realizing exactly what RG 01 thought of RG 02 and why they were having this reaction.
"H-huh?" RG 01 questioned Alice's yelp as he sounded very shy.
"Mr Guard… I think I know what you need to do." Alice spoke to him, approaching to his side.
"A-aren't we trying t-to kill you though…? W-what could you p-possibly know about me a-a-and… bro?"
"You must feel very strongly about him to affectionately call him 'bro'. Now while I may not be old enough to properly inform anyone on how a relationship is to be handled, I have learned that it is key to confess your true feelings towards anyone you feel close to before it's too late. So can you please tell him how you feel?" Alice stood on her tiptoes and whispered to RG 01 as motivationally as she could.
"I… I…" RG 01 appeared stunned at her words and looked between her and RG 02.
Notably, half of the attacks from the next swarm were extremely far off in accuracy. Alice understood that these attacks were coming from RG 01 who appeared to be struggling to muster up the courage. Ultimately though…
"D-dude… I can't… I can't take this anymore! Not like this!" The RG 01 lashed out, his arms flailing as he stood to face RG 02.
"It's worked…!" Alice gasped to herself and clasped her hands together as she watched the events unfold.
RG 02 seemed motionless but was facing his partner to hear what he had to say.
"Like, 02! I like… I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight… the way you talk… I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync… 02… I, like, want to stay like this forever…" RG 01 stated with words so sweet and eloquent that Alice felt it belonged in a love letter.
"... …." RG 02 looked down to the ground and remained silent.
This reaction made RG 01 flinch and suddenly begin to stammer his words.
"Uh… I mean, uh… Psyche! Gotcha, bro! Haha!"
Alice pouted and was about to tear into RG 02 verbally for not responding properly to his partner but to her surprise, that was exactly what he did next.
"... 01."
"Y-yeah, bro?"
"... … do you want to… … get some ice cream… … after this?" 02 spoke with some nervousness himself but his appreciation and acceptance shone through in his rougher tone.
"Sure, dude! Haha!" RG 01 chuckled sweetly and looked much more radiant in his body language.
"Well I shan't keep you busy from some quality time together. Run along now!" Alice cheekily and cheerfully stated, taking advantage to pacify them.
Indeed, with Alice's words releasing them from their obligations, the two guards departed hand in hand the way they came. Alice couldn't help but feel extremely proud of herself and warm inside for helping them get together. Granted her sister would possibly have not approved of Alice playing a matchmaker when she was such a young, innocent girl but it was all she could think of to pacify the two. Alice did regret not being able to get any information about Asgore or his castle out of them but she decided it was better they were happy than having her curiousity satisfied. Seeing the road ahead of her, Alice carried on her way. Unexpectedly for once though, Alphys messaged her something that wasn't completely random. 'oopswait how is the human doing. Top 10 Shows That Make You Forget To Do Your Frickin Job' I daresay that 'frickin' word is something inappropriate for me to say, Alice thought with some suspicion as Alphys seemed frustrated in the message. Before she could reason about it further, she was into the next area… and it was completely dark.
"E-eh?! What happened to the lighting…? We're outside aren't we…? Well technically we're underground but otherwise we should certainly be outside." Alice gasped in bafflement.
Her phone rang moments after and the little girl answered it for hopes of finding the reason behind this.
"Okay, I'm back! A-another dark room, huh?" Alphys identified the situation.
"But aren't we outside? Like the natural environment of Hotland? How could it suddenly turn… oh bother, Mettaton is behind this isn't he?" Alice grimaced as she figured out the only possible cause.
"O-oh boy… well let's hope i-it isn't him and I'll help you out. M-my hacking skills have got things covered!" Alphys gulped before trying to reassure Alice.
"Hacking?"
"It's like interfering with a-a puzzle's design directly to solve it b-b-but with any electronic device. Here I'll show you…!"
Moments later, the lights in the area did turn on and Alice could see once again. However she could also tell there was something amiss. Alphys's next comment seemed to confirm her thoughts.
"Are you serious?"
"OHHHHHH YESSS! GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING FROM MTT NEWS! AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND!" The MTT news broadcast started with a bang.
In the living room of the house of the Snowdin skeletons, Papyrus was watching the broadcast with a feverish and childish delight. Not only was his most favorite and alluring television host on the air, but there was someone else unexpected centered on the screen that made him even more ecstatic.
"SANS! SANS! YOU HAVE TO WATCH! IT'S ALICE! SHE'S ON T.V! NOW SHE'S THE UNDERGROUND'S HOMETOWN DARLING!" Papyrus called out to his brother upstairs.
"i thought mettaton was your 'darling.' and why is she on anyway?" Sans grumbled as he opened the door to his bedroom and headed downstairs, his jacket off.
"METTATON IS MY HOME DARLING! THERE'S A GREAT DIFFERENCE! AND IT APPEARS SHE'S ABOUT TO TACKLE ONE OF METTATON'S WELL-EXECUTED AND SEDUCTIVE PUZZLES." Papyrus clarified.
Indeed, Alice was on T.V, as were the current news bulletin which included stories like "SCHOOL CANCELED OVER REACTIVATED PUZZLES !" scrolling by. Mettaton continued the report while Alice looked around with shock and concern on the feed,
"BRAVE CORRESPONDENT! PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT!"
"Excuse me?! I'm not even old enough to pursue a career… let alone hold a position! How is this fair?" Alice growled on the feed.
"SHE SEEMS SO UPSET… I THOUGHT SHE WOULD'VE LOVED TO BE FAMOUS AND POPULAR." Papyrus sighed in sympathy.
"well she doesn't really possess an interest in being on the a of spades list. she seems like she'd prefer to be a one hit wonderland… or something." Sans sounded a bit out of it.
Papyrus turned to Sans concerned. His brother always loved to make bad puns but most of them involved skeletons or were so natural and seamless they were… more tolerable than usual. Now it seemed like he was having more and more trouble with making his puns flow off the tongue. IF THERE WAS STILL A TONGUE THERE, Papyrus thought. Clearing his throat, the older brother spoke to the younger brother,
"SANS… ARE YOU STILL BEING PLAGUED BY THOSE BAD DREAMS? IT SEEMS AS OF RECENTLY YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TOO HARD. WHICH I NORMALLY WOULD RESPECT IF IT WAS TOWARDS YOUR JOB BUT NO. YOU STILL REMAIN LAZY YET SOMEHOW ARE TRYING MORE TO KEEP UP YOUR ANTICS THAN USUAL."
"... i guess i have been off my puns lately. maybe i should take one less job to give my BONEbrain some time to think up new material." Sans winked at his brother cheekily.
"THAT'S NOT A GOOD HABIT TO GET INTO! PUNS OR QUITTING JOBS!" Papyrus scolded his younger brother with his usual bravado.
"oh, looks like alice found a story for your robot crush."
"EH?! SHE DID?!" Papyrus gasped, eyes widened as he turned to the tragically neglected screen.
Alice was petting what looked like a very small and cute white doggy. Papyrus's eager joy suddenly decreased into a bit of ironic displeasure. That same dog had spirited away some of his best bones and made him look incompetent and gave Sans the chance to play incidental music. Still it seemed as though Alice looked relieved and joyful at seeing the dog again so Papyrus overcame his own grudges to be happy for her.
"WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY! I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: "A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE." FRANKLY, I'M BLOWN AWAY. ATTENTION, VIEWERS! OUR CORRESPONDENT HAS FOUND… A DOG!" Mettaton exclaimed proudly.
"aww…" Sans reacted appropriately.
"... MEH." Papyrus however couldn't COMPLETELY overcome his grudges to show his support for the dog who had robbed him.
Alice seemed to mutter something under her breath and rolled her eyes. Perhaps she found this story to not be the kind of story she dreamed of reporting. Papyrus could only theorize about the possibilities as Alice had so many different sides to her. Intriguing, intrigued, nice, a bit harsh, sweet, considerate, polite, graceful, spacey, fond of talking to herself, and definitely curious. It was a delight figuring out what she had on her mind whenever he saw her. Although moments later, something shocking happened. Mettaton puts his hands on his head and screeched,
"THAT'S NOT A TAIL! THAT'S… A FUSE!"
Alice's face grew pale and a small flame ignited on the dog's tail.
"AHHH..!" Alice shrieked and took several steps back in reaction to this.
"... ok that's a bit too hardware core." Sans pointed out, slightly confused by how this was possible.
"OH DEAR… NOW HE'S SAYING EVERYTHING IN THE ROOM IS A BOMB! THE PRESENT! THE BASKETBALL! AND EVEN HIS-"
"words?"
"OH MY WORDS!"
BOM BOM BOM BOM! Alice had barely enough time to process this horrible turn of events when four full-length words crashed onto the ground with small explosions. She had found herself in some strange area with several paths and many objects scattered around, only going to the dog because it seemed the most approachable and it looked exactly like the one she had encountered in Snowdin. But to find out it and everything was a bomb set to blow up at a predetermined time was very scary. Blowing up is a most inadequate way to die, Alice thought as she saw Mettaton floating in a snazzy red suit and yellow tie.
"BRAVE CORRESPONDENT… IF YOU DON'T DEFUSE ALL OF THE BOMBS… THIS BIG BOMB WILL BLOW YOU TO SMITHEREENS IN TWO MINUTES! THEN YOU WON'T BE REPORTING "LIVE" ANY LONGER!" Mettaton exclaimed, directing Alice's attention to a big pink bomb with a timer on it.
"I'll give you credit on doing your best to make this trap certain to succeed but I'm irritated you expect me to 'defuse' a bomb when I've hardly even seen or read about them!" Alice complained with her hands on her hips.
"HOW TERRIBLE! HOW DISTURBING! OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE WATCHING THIS! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!" Mettaton chimed in response before flying off.
Alice groaned and was about to start figuring out what should be done first when her phone rang.
"D-don't worry! I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Use the 'defuse' option when the bomb is in the Defuse Zone!" Alphys instructed Alice.
Truthfully this was also very suspicious to Alice. The 'jetpack' on her phone did seem to have practical use in case anyone desired to fly from one place to the other beyond solving that particular puzzle but a bomb defusing program? That seemed rudimentary for a commonplace phone and impractical in any other situation. However, with the time limit placed upon her, Alice knew trying to argue with Alphys about this much too on the nose coincidence would prove fruitless. In fact, she had just come up with an idea on how to make this puzzle be solved in a much easier fashion than Mettaton imposed on her. Alphys's opinion on this proposed solution was key though.
"T-thank you Alphys. I was wondering… if it's possible to gather up all the bombs in one place and then defuse them all one at a time. That'd seem much quicker and more beneficial than running around aimlessly." Alice asked Alphys as she eyed the dog bomb who had waddled over and fell into a nap.
"O-oh…! I never even thought of t-that… although some of the bombs appear to be moving s-so maybe you should tackle those o-on your own and then move the immobile bombs to one location. B-be careful yet make haste…!" Alphys supported Alice's theory and hung up.
Curious she didn't ask how I intended to do this, Alice thought. Realistically if anyone was told a plan by someone, their next statement would presumably be how they would carry out this plan. Although the little girl remembered that the Royal Scientist had been tracking her movements for quite awhile. That was a very significant amount of information to be giving about Alice's actions and so Alphys presumably knew right away what Alice was intending to do and that's why she hadn't asked. Alice focused her DETERMINATION in the hopes of creating a number of allies that could help her gather the bombs around the area into one place. Bipedal, flower-like creatures seemed to blossom from the ground, golden in their tone. They possessed two googly eyes, fuzzy hair, and no arms but there were many of them. These were the Momeraths, creatures from Alice's Wonderland who were of a very supportive nature. They knew how to navigate, they could work together to solve tasks, and they seemed to be the best candidates for defusing the bombs. Also they happened to be mentioned by 'Alice' in the dream she had so Alice felt that this was some sort of hint that 'she' had given her. As the flock of Momeraths huddled around Alice, the little girl quickly gave them her directions.
"Please, I need you all to seek out any bombs that you may find in the area and bring them here. It is key to have them all in the same place for a quicker and easier time defusing the bombs. If there are any ones that are too difficult to attain, please alert me as soon as possible. We haven't a time to waste!" Alice used her hands and her voice to express the urgency of the situation.
The Momeraths nodded eagerly and quickly proceeded to spread out into different areas. Alice could trust her DETERMINATION by now to function on its own so it left her the freedom to roam into the area in front of her. There were a basketball and an extremely agile glass of water flying about the area as well as the menacing pink bomb Mettaton described. Granted Alice wasn't sure how either of them could be flying without momentum from an outside force but that wasn't important. Pulling out her phone, she was able to find the Defuse function Alphys had described and triggered it. Astonishingly, a green field formed in front of the phone like a cone and Alice was shown directions that could allow her to defuse the bomb with a press of the button as long as it was within this field. So it's a timing based puzzle, Alice realized. Alice carefully watched for the basketballs bouncing movements to fly toward the green zone and pressed the button as soon as it was within the lines. Fortunately, Alice's time was on point and the bomb was defused and fell to the ground harmlessly. The little girl smiled before noticing the water glass had disappeared. That was when her phone rang for what seemed like the thousandth time.
"Great job! Head for the center! I'm using, uh, EM fields to trap the glass of water there!" Alphys announced.
"... I see." Alice replied, genuinely not interested in what 'EM' meant at the moment.
Returning to the center area with about 100 seconds to spare, she found the water glass lying on the ground as well as the dog from earlier but the Momeraths had yet to return. Still she did have two more things to defuse so she figured she could get through these first. Luckily the dog moved rather slowly and swayed gently from side to side… despite somehow being asleep. She was able to defuse it within a few seconds. The water glass proved to be a bit trickier as Alice had to attempt twice to get it to defuse but she managed. 85 seconds left. Maybe I should've done this on my own… the Momeraths seem to be taking too much time. Alice couldn't help but worry as her life was on the long but as she turned around, she noticed that the Momeraths were returning in split groups. They held a present, a script, and a game tightly in their combined mass. Held tightly, Alice realized this was exactly what she wanted and smiled at her safety being all but guaranteed. She defused them one right after the other with a good amount of time to spare. As Alice wiped her forehead, Mettaton returned to the area from the sky.
"WELL DONE, DARLING! YOU'VE DEACTIVATED ALL OF THE BOMBS! IF YOU DIDN'T-"
"I believe you've already addressed the possibilities of what might've happened had I failed. Now will you please leave me be? Your tricks are getting very old!" Alice interrupted Mettaton with an aggravated complaint.
"OHH BUT YOU MISSED THE POINT I WAS ABOUT TO MAKE. AND THE PUNCHLINE. VERY WELL, IN TWO SECONDS YOU'LL LEAVE THIS WORLD! GOODBYE, DARLING!" Mettaton retaliated with a shocking reveal.
Alice flinched and felt as though she hadn't the energy or commitment to scream for her final moments. Two seconds indeed passed, but nothing happened. Alice looked around slowly before ultimately groaning and causing the Momeraths to disappear. She was also finding these close calls to be very old.
"AH. IT SEEMS THE BOMB ISN'T GOING OFF." Mettaton replied so flatly it was as if he had counted on something like this to happen.
"That's b-because! While you were monologuing and having Alice interrupt you… I…! I f… fix… Um… I ch-change…" Alphys's confidence melted away as she struggled with the phrasing.
"...?" Alice didn't even know why Alphys was struggling with this statement but decided that there was no reason to question this either.
"OH NO. YOU DEACTIVATED THE BOMB WITH YOUR HACKING SKILLS." Mettaton spoke even more flatly.
"... Wait a moment-" Alice suddenly felt there was something fishy with Mettaton's responses.
"CURSES! IT SEEMS I'VE BEEN FOILED AGAIN! CURSE YOU, ALICE! CURSE YOU, DR. ALPHYS, FOR HELPING SO MUCH! BUT I DON'T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING!" Mettaton proceeded to fly off once again.
"Oh Mettaton! Oh Mr. Mettaton!" Alice this time pleaded towards Mettaton to come back as she was now wondering about something troublesome regarding his behavior.
However the robot gave her no indication of having heard her and disappeared into the sky. Alice was left feeling frustrated and a bit awkward as Alphys continued to ramble on… Meanwhile, two of the viewers from Snowdin had finished watching the report and had a lot to talk about. Or at least one of them had a lot to talk about while the other one descended down the stairs again, this time carrying a piece of clothing they often wore. The one seated on the couch shut off the T.V and put his hands to his face as his eyes twinkled.
"WOW! I KNEW ALICE WOULD DO IT! SHE'S AMAZING! A GODDESS! *SNIFF* SHE'LL PIONEER THE FUTURE OF PUZZLES AND PUZZLE SOLVING! SANS WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Papyrus's doting speech derailed when he noticed his brother throwing on his hoodie dramatically and heading to the exit.
Normally this wouldn't be unusual for either brothers routine but this was unusually early for Sans to be leaving for sentry duty. Normally Sans liked to go at the very last minute, seeing as he could often get there by the very last second. Or that's how the other monsters seemed to describe his ability to multi-task and yet somehow multi-slack. Also Sans didn't seem to look at Papyrus despite having been addressed. Lastly, Sans also seemed a bit tense as he paused at the door after Papyrus spoke to him, gripping the doorknob. After a shrug, Sans opened the door.
"i got to attend to business. I'll be home late. please don't worry about anything " Sans reply was unusually blunt and he slammed the door as he left.
"... SANS?"
Alice sighed with a huff after having gotten off the phone with Alphys. Alphys had admitted to feeling a lot more confident about guiding her, even if it felt more like completely babying her and manipulating her movements like a puppeteer at this point. She had seemed so proud of herself though and had indeed come in handy protecting her from that puzzle so Alice had to endure it. Alice was a proud little girl though and somehow she knew that something wasn't right with any of Alphys's actions or even Mettaton's unusual kinship with Alphys. Everything seemed so rehearsed now and also so trivial and frustrating. At least with Undyne and Papyrus they made it clear what they were doing and how they would go about doing it. Here… it was like some sort of improv or performance for an audience much like the one Mettaton was constantly calling 'darlings'.
"All I would desire now is some actual rest again." Alice confessed with a sigh.
Continuing on in the next area, Alice noticed that the view of the Core was present in the background. Yet this time it was much closer and much more intimidating than the previous instance Alice had seen it. Alice had to wonder though what it was like inside. Was it a factory? Or perhaps something futuristic with things like refrigerators inside? It just seemed like a massive place of mystery to Alice and she was hoping to find out more by arriving there. At that moment though, the phone rang again.
"Ngh… hello?" Alice looked visibly pained as she forced herself to answer it, this chain she could hold in her hand.
"Um… I noticed you've been kind of quiet… Are you w-worried about meeting ASGORE…?" Alphys asked in such an innocent tone that it seemed to hurt Alice even more.
"I haven't even been able to think about Asgore as I haven't had a moment's peace of thought since you started calling and text me like some repetitive joke!"
"... Oh. I-I-I guess I've been talking a bit too much haven't I…? Do you want to-"
"Perhaps after this call. I'm willing to listen to you now but you MUST cut down on these interruptions Dr. Alphys. I'm losing my patience." Alice vented in a way that she hoped was ladylike.
Alphys appeared to take a deep breath on the other line, perhaps a bit frazzled by Alice's hostility. In Alice's mind though, it was to be expected that anyone would get frustrated from being constantly called or reminded of some unimportant message made by someone else. What she did was very natural for what she assumed was a thing for those who owned phones. It even made her a bit sympathetic for Toriel who probably would've been the only one to handle and maybe even appreciate this sort of electric attention. Alphys spoke a bit more calmly and composedly,
"I-I'll make my best efforts to not disrupt your journey… as I was saying… you don't h-have to worry about Asgore… T-the king is a really nice guy… I'm sure you can talk with him, and… W-with your human soul, you can pass through the barrier!"
Now it was Alice's turn to feel a bit guilty. What Alphys said seemed to imply Alphys was trying to encourage Alice to escape for herself rather than try to break the barrier for everyone in the Underground. It was true that Alice hadn't 100% made it clear to the Royal Scientist that was her current intention but it was almost as if Alphys wasn't confident that she could find that solution and was just trying to urge Alice to find her freedom. Then there was what she said about Asgore. It was such a distinct contrast between Toriel's view of the king and Alphys's view of the king. She remembered how severe Toriel thought of him when she had tried to urge Alice to stay.
'Yes… he is the king… and he will show no mercy…'
"... A-Alphys. I sincerely hate to question your friendships, but how do you know that? After all, you were entrusted with a once in a lifetime responsibility by his majesty and you are even in love with him. Couldn't you say that means your opinion is more favorable of him than unfavorable? He killed six children already… what force could possibly stop him from taking my soul, the last soul he needs?" Alice asked sincerely and softly.
There was a long silence.
"... I-In some ways though… he's shown a lot of mercy t-to some of us… no matter w-what some of us have done… or what w-we've caused… he's looked out for us all… a-and if you were to speak to him… I-I'd imagine he'd look to you and let you have your say…" Alphys spoke up with some uncertainty present in her words.
"... Alphys…"
"A-Alice I… I know that t-the feeling is h-hard… b-but… you are amazing to m-me… and I know you are someone t-that can change people's minds… s-so no worrying, OK? J-just forget about it and smile." Alphys tried her best to comfort Alice before hanging up.
Unfortunately this comfort only made Alice feel a bit more guilt. Namely on how she was trying to spin straw into gold with this attempt to find another solution to break the barrier and seek the counsel of Asgore when Toriel and common sense warned her against it. Even if Alphys had shown solid evidence of Asgore being what she described him as, the temptation to finally have the seventh soul needed to break the barrier seemed much too strong for anyone in that position to resist. The Queen of Hearts temper always flared out because it gave her a sense of authority and the fear on everyone's faces empowered her tyrannical position even more. Once you had something going, you had to keep it going for the better. In fact this was a much more merciful and positive example with Asgore than it was for the Queen of Hearts as this would free a whole race of people from imprisonment. Not to mention the fact that there seemed to be no one in the Underground besides Alice thinking of other solutions. They only had one solution and seemed incapable of fathoming another. Ultimately, Alice found another elevator as she finished her depressing brainstorm, one entitled 'L2'. Entering inside, she went to the unexplored 'Left Floor 3' and waited till it reached its destination.
"... Clock gears?" Alice asked as that was the first detail that caught her eye.
In the background, maroon gears spun stoically and even the path appeared to be a rich purple carpet. It looked very unnatural as though she had entered someone's house as opposed to another area of Hotland. There were even red, orange, and yellow lines streamlining the path. All in all it created an air of luxury or elegance that made Alice even more curious. What part of Hotland could this be? She asked herself. Continuing down the path, she soon got her answer. In a rather big room, spider webs marked parts of the wall and path, much like in the Ruins where she had gotten the Spider Donut. But what was clearly the standout of the room was a table with a pink and white checkered cloth, holding a croissant and a donut on it. A sign was to its right and behind the table… was perhaps the most elaborate monster Alice had seen so far. A six-armed spider with lavender skin, five eyes, two black pigtails held with two ribbons, and two legs. Their red outfit appeared very feminine with pantaloons at the bottom, buttons in the front, a red ribbon across her chest, as well as two more ribbons in her hair. She appeared to be lithe yet delicate, graceful yet haunting, youthful yet wise and captivated Alice in a way that Wonderland did.
"E-excuse me but… what is your name?" Alice asked as she approached her.
"Ahuhuhuhu! Why, what a lovely little fly has entered the parlor!~ A human! Welcome to our parlor, dearie~ Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders." The spider cackled sweetly as she spoke to Alice.
Alice wasn't sure what to make of this. The spider had ignored her question but indeed seemed to speak in a way that those in England would've said. She sounded very sweet, like a little girl but spoke in a sophisticated fashion and with a sly air about her. Also what she had advertised sounded much like the bake sale Alice had found in the Ruins. This could only mean there was a connection between this spider monster and those spiders in the Ruins who had sold the baked goods. Alice decided to ask her a bit more clearly and confidently,
"Thank you for offering but I am full for now. My name is Alice and I was wondering if you acquainted with some spiders in the Ruins. They too were offering baked pastries made by spiders for spiders."
"Oh? Goodness me! I see that you made their acquaintances.~ Spiders have been trapped in the RUINS for generations! Even if they go under the door, Snowdin's fatal cold is impassable alone. That's why we are holding these bake sales. To make enough funds to transport them safely through the ice and snow.~ Did you contribute to the cause? Ahuhuhuhu~" The spider monster eyed Alice as she told a rather sad story.
"Well… I did buy one of your Spider Donuts. It was simply delicious! Fit for a tea party. I do trust that the proceeds made it to you successfully afterward?" Alice asked as she eyed the donut on the table with a mix of satisfaction and disgust.
"Why yes it did! Oh how marvelous and generous of you~ Alice, you most certainly will be a customer to remember~ My name is Muffet~ I look forward to seeing you come back again sometime." Muffet winked charmingly at Alice as she thanked her for her patronage.
"O-oh yes! I'd very much like that." Alice curtsied in an embarrassed rush as she had been so mystified by Muffet's demeanor that she had forgotten to do so when she had introduced herself.
It was so ladylike and poised. Truly Muffet was a dignified lady that even her sister would've enjoyed meeting and it gave Alice great reassurance to have a connection with someone that understood etiquette and proper behavior in such a natural way. Not that Toriel wasn't proper in her own way but Muffet embodied more of Alice's way or at least the way her sister had instructed her to do since childhood. Most curious though was her name, the same as that of the nursery rhyme Little Miss Muffet. That rhyme had most definitely featured a spider who sat down besides the frightened little girl and as such, the coincidence of the precise naming had not evaded Alice. It also made Alice genuinely curious as to who had named Muffet after her seeing as it seemed unlikely for that nursery rhyme to have been around as long as Muffet had been. Or was it the other way around? Is there even a difference between monster and human lifespans, Alice thought. Either way, Alice wondered if she was being rude to Muffet by standing in front of her table thinking to herself and so she made her way quickly. However she stopped by a monster who appeared to be a cat in a yellow coat and yellow shoes, holding a donut and looking… distraught? Shocked? Embarrassed?
"S-sir is something the matter?" Alice asked as she took in how he held the donut low to the ground as if he analyzing it as opposed to preparing to eat it.
"I… I… I ended up buying a donut… I… I… I didn't want to, but that girl… even though I told her no, she… … kept staring at me in this creepy way and licking her lips. N… now I'm outta cash." The monster spoke, sounding as if he had just seen a tragic accident unfold in front of him.
Slightly disturbed, Alice turned to look at Muffet again. Muffet was rubbing her hands together eagerly and indeed she was licking her lips. Although it seemed once she noticed Alice's gaze, she flinched and then proceeded to wave hello to Alice in a friendly manner. It was a very quick transition between two different expressions but Alice appreciated that Muffet was showing how much she trusted her already or at least liked her. Although she had to admit that it was probable the monster was not wrong about Muffet being subtly enticing or at least threatening. It was the sort of threatening that many sellers had to employ to get people to buy goods whether it was subtle or doting or aggressive. Muffet definitely appeared to be the subtle sort. Alice merely patted the monster's back and said,
"Well look on the bright side of all this. You were able to assist some spiders in a faraway place gain the funds to hopefully move somewhere better."
"I… I… I get that but, now I need to pay my bills soon…" They responded.
"... Err… I-I'll get back to you on that…" Alice awkwardly responded.
Maybe if I free the Underground there'll be no need for bills, she thought in a flustered optimism. She then proceed to peer at the webs where spiders were offering the same baked goods from the Ruins at… extremely elevated prices. Alice's eyes widened as she processed the absurdity of the increase in costs. Granted Hotland seemed like a more wealthy place but even then it seemed unlike, say the Royal Guards, to spend this much for anything. Somehow Alice found this kind of funny or at least inspiring that Muffet was so passionate about saving the spiders in the Ruins that she would raise the prices to levels that would surely guarantee success, even if it was not very practical. Alice then checked the sign which was about the same as the one from the Ruins. With nothing more to do, the little girl carried on into this new and somewhat enchanting area of Hotland. However, what she did not know as she carried on her way was that behind her back, a figure approached Muffet…
To Be Continued...
