I own nothing. Least of all this.

1:5

"The Witcher. I assume that means something, somewhere.. But I'm afraid I'm drawing a complete blank."

I nodded. "Fair enough. As far as I can tell, it's not a story that was ever told in your universe. Or needed, for that matter."

"And why, exactly,was it needed in yours?"

"That, Doctor, is a very long business that I'm not entirely sure we have enough tea for."

He leaned back. "I'm sure we can make some more. It's not like I have anywhere else to be."

I smirked. "That's what you think, Chin Boy. But we still have more than enough time. And you're probably right about the tea."

A small grin flitted across his face. "There are two things about which I'm always right: time, and tea. Now, the story."

"The story." I leaned forward and placed my cup back on its saucer. "I suppose it would be best to begin at the beginning, go along, and when I come to the end, stop."

"That's generally how it works, yes. Or so I've been told. Never been much for doing what I've been told."

"Really." I deadpanned. "I would never have thought it of you."

"Oi!"

"Oi! Yourself. Still, in this case I think it's best to follow the recommended order. First, the beginning." I ran my hand through my hair. "Blimey, this is gonna be hard to keep to the basics. It's a bit like explaining the Lord of the Rings without mentioning the Silmarillion."

"Tried that once. Ended up lecturing for four hours."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, it happened at this amazing little university in Arkham…"

"I didn't mean literally, you cranberry nut muffin."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Not a problem. Right then, the basics. My reality is… not that much different from yours, if I'm being honest. There are a few wonky bits, but there's really only one major, glaring difference: monsters."

"Monsters."

I nodded. "Monsters."

"I'm sorry, are we talking about the things in your closet or under your bed that jump out and shout 'Boo'?"

"No, we're talking about the things that will rip your heart out and eat it in front of you as you're dying from the blood loss. Or the things that drain your blood to feed on, but keep you just enough alive that their supply doesn't run out. Or the things that…"

"Alright, I get the picture, thank you."

No, somehow, I really don't think you do." I sighed. "I'm not talking aliens here Doctor. Earth, my Earth, is home to more species than just humans and Silurians. Werewolves, vampires, wendigos, you name it, I've seen it."

He scoffed. "Please. Next you'll tell me you've met the Devil too."

"Yes, actually. And, for the record, he likes classic rock."

"Why am I not surprised."

"Yeah, didn't really shock me either. The point is, for some reason, Earth is absolutely chock full of things that if they got out into the galaxy at large, would cause unimaginable Shadow Proclamation doesn't like those. Earth has been a forbidden zone to all aliens for quite awhile now. Of course, that doesn't stop them. Myself included."

"And I suppose this is where you come in."

"Not yet. First, there are the Hunters."

"Ooo, I don't like that word."

"There are a lot of things in this story you won't like Doc. Get used to it. Now, the monsters, as a general rule, know that Hunters exist. It's our version of nuclear deterrent. If a monster deliberately harms, kills, feeds on, etc. to a human, or any other sentient species, it knows it stands a pretty significant risk of being Hunted. So, for the most part, they keep quiet. Sometimes, the monsters will even help Hunters if they know a certain werewolf or vamp is close to causing mass panic. They want their existence kept secret as much as Hunters do. They keep their noses clean, the Hunters keep them out of official records, and everything generally works out. But sometimes, something a little bigger rolls into town."

"Like the Devil."

"Think more like a full-blown apocalypse. Things that cause a ruckus through quite a bit of time and space. And if certain aliens, i.e. the Sontarans, somehow find out there are certain species that would be extremely useful as genetic material in their intergalactic war, well, we can't have that, can we?"

"So a Witcher stops apocalypses?"

"Most do. But I'm the original. I'm the Witcher. The title was named after me, not the other way round. I do more. I hunt those who might just possibly think the end of the world would be a good thing. Human, monster, alien, doesn't matter what species they are. Much less what world they think deserves ending."

"That's not right." Ah, here came the Oncoming Storm. "It's not a Time Lord's place, it's not your place to judge."

"A Time Lord's place, Doctor? The Time Lords would just as soon destroy Earth as look at it. The only reason they haven't is because of me and those who took my name. Can not the same be said of you, Doctor?'"

Ooo, he was properly mad now. "I don't take lives. I save them."

"Yes, you save them, but to what end? I would have thought you would have learned Davros' lesson. You save people's lives, but you sear their souls. Just how many of your friends were willing to commit genocide on the Crucible?"

He froze. "How. Do. You. Know. That." he hissed.

"Spoilers."

"Tell me."

"No."

"You know. So much about me. You weren't even surprised to see me come through that Crack. HOW."

"It doesn't matter. Just about the only thing I can tell you for sure is that in about,... " I glanced down at my watch, "...thirteen minutes, dear little Amelia Pond will remember you. You'll go back to your reality, do what you are meant to do, and leave me here. I very much doubt our paths will ever cross again. So listen very carefully to what I am about to say: you are partially right. I don't have the right to judge. No one does, Time Lord or not. But in the end, there are choices that have to be made. And sometimes there's no kind Star Whale on the other side of the big, red button. When a choice like that comes, and trust me, it will, I would rather it be my soul that bears the cost, then the soul of any other. And that is the difference between our realities, Doctor: monsters. Yours are in your mind. Mine are in my soul. And it is our companions that must provide their opposites. Demons run when a good man goes to war, Doctor. Are you a good man?"

"I try to be. What does that make you, then? A demon?"

"On a good day? Yes. On a bad one? On a bad one, I'm just the war. What does being the Witcher mean, here or anywhere else? Cruel and cowardly, but only to myself. Give up? Never. Give in? Only to save a soul. That's what it means, Doctor. What your name will come to mean, well… that's for me to know and you to find out."

"I know what it means. I chose it."

"Yes, you certainly did. But did it choose you back? Names have power Doctor. You should know that better than anyone." I picked up my tea. "Now then, you had better go and change clothes. After all, you have a wedding to go to."

"Whose?"

"Pond's, of course!"

"But I just left…"

"Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey. You know how it works. Although this time, I suppose you could blame Professor Song for it."

"What?"

"Oops. Spoilers. Now, run along. You've only got about nine minutes left."

He stood. There was clearly more he wanted to say, more he wanted to know. I could see it in his jaw, and in his eyes. After what seemed an eternity, the light went out behind them. He slumped, and nodded. I picked up my cup, and took a sip. When I looked back up, he had gone.

I sighed.

This really was excellent tea.