I own nothing. Least of all this.

1:16

"Well, I've got to say, you are a sight for sore eyes. You didn't have too much trouble did you?"

The TARDIS made a little *be-whoop* that I took to mean "not much."

"Good. Speaking of trouble, you'll be happy to know I ran into an absolute buttload of it."

*Bu-whee?*

"Yep. And take a look at who I found right in the middle of it. And before you shriek and start jumping for joy, she's sound asleep, and don't think she'd care to be woken up."

I turned to let the light of the console fall on Rose's face.

What little background noise the Old Girl had been making ground to a halt. Even a human could have heard a pin drop.

"You wouldn't happen to still have her old room still hanging around, would you? She'd probably appreciate waking up somewhere familiar."

A blinding multi-colored light flashed from the door at the top right of the stairs.

"Thanks, Old Girl. But would you mind just toning it down a bit? I'm sure she'll be just as happy to see you, but for now, she needs rest."

The light dimmed.

"Appreciate it."

It didn't take long to get Rose to her room. I only stayed long enough to make sure she was tucked in tight, and get my coat back; what was in her room was none of my business. I did take one last look back from her doorway, though; she had been through so much, and felt so much pain.

I wonder if she had kids while she was with Tentoo. I couldn't find any mention of them in Abstergo's files. If she had, then that was just one more mark on Rikkin's soul. For once, I actually regretted not being the Devil proper. It would have been my pleasure to torture him myself.

I headed back to the console room.

"We've got a few more things to take care of before we can leave, Old Girl. I hate to ask, but do you have enough fuel for three short hops?"

*Be-whoo?* (How short?)

"One just a few floors down, then to Seville, Spain, and from there, somewhere in England. Not sure the exact location yet."

*Be-yoop* (Very well.)

"Excellent. First, downstairs."

I threw the lever, and then immediately brought it back up again.

I strode over to the doors, and pushed them open.

Looks like I hit my mark. The cloning pods lay just in front of me. I hopped out, bringing my visor back up as I did so.

They were pretty basic, even by human standards. The only truly advanced part of them was their electronics: how they downloaded information directly into the children's brains. It was, however, booby trapped. I couldn't just remove the one part, otherwise the whole thing would vaporize in my face. The only thing I could do for now was pause the upload, for the both of them.

I was in a similar position when it came to the actual growth stimulation. Once something starts growing, unless you kill it, it doesn't stop growing. You can slow it down some, but life just keeps on keeping on. And I really hated to kill any more innocent people today, especially a pair of children that appeared to be around three years old.

The first thing I had to do was to disconnect the two containers from the main controlling circuit; a cinch with Rikkin's ID. After that, I diminished the nutrient feeds back to what they normally should be for young humans. That ought to slow things down enough for me to plan out an alternate solution.

Physically moving the containers was going to be a good deal more difficult. I couldn't just pick them up in a hand-cart, after all….

Huh, waddya know, turns out I could just pick them up in a hand-cart.

All I can say is thank Gallifrey I didn't have to deal with the stairs and corners of the Eleventh Doctor's second TARDIS. That would have been a nightmare.

It still ended up taking an hour, but finally, I got both of the pods hooked up to the appropriate feeds.

The growth had indeed slowed down to normal human levels. Their brain development, however…

I couldn't delete the program. I tried everything I could think of, even a few things the Old Girl suggested, but...nothing. It wasn't until I discovered the physical hard-drives were coded in Enochian that I realized it would take a literal angel to destroy the thing. One who was good with computers.

The most I was able to do was to replace some of the program's instructions (think: All Assassins are evil and should be killed), and slow it down to match the physical growth pattern. I even left myself a back door back in to tweak the programming as well, if something occurred to me later that the two would need to know. But without a big red button, those pods wouldn't open up for another seventeen years. Not until every single bit of data was uploaded.

Plenty of time.

I made my way back up above-decks.

The Old Girl deserved at least some explanation for what I was taking on board, and why.

"...Listen, there are a lot of things that happened...out there, that were pretty bad. Horrific, in fact. And most of them happened to… Rose. And one of those things was...they stole her DNA. Tried to replicate it, improve it. And then… they cloned it. I don't know how many times. I only met two of them. One was evil, clear through. I killed her pretty painfully. But the other...she was something else. Became something else. She knew what had been done to make her. She helped destroy those who did it. And.. she died for it. If it wasn't for her, I would have blown every last one of those pods to bits, occupants or not. But because she never got a chance to live a better life, I intend to try and give it to those two downstairs. Does that sound... okay... to you?"

For a very long while, there was nothing but silence.

After an eternity, She spoke.

*Be-boop* (Okay.)

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. "Thank you. I've only got one more thing to do here, then we're off for Seville."

I made my way to the front of the level. I did, however, take a slightly different way to get there, this time. If I was going to carry around a weapon that could quite literally kill anything under the sun, well then I was gonna wear a cool holster that matched. It took mere moments to find what I was looking for: a bunch of workbenches with all manner of weapon parts and leather strewn over them. Not very many holsters, unfortunately, but I did find a rather nice black one that fit my belt perfectly. I slid it around to my left side in a cavalry draw, and then strapped the Colt in. I was just about to leave when I spied a bunch of strange looking bullets lying next to a bandolier. Now, I may be a little uneducated when it came to things that go *bang*, but I was pretty sure you didn't load glass bullets into guns. I picked one up and took a close look.

It was a laser.

Abstergo had created miniature, self-recharging laser cartridges for converting handguns.

Color me impressed.

They obviously hadn't gotten it just right for semi-automatics yet, but still, it was good work. I grabbed a few off the bench, then pressed on to the main console.

Rikkin's ID got me into a good deal more than I had previously been able to access directly. It was almost easy explosives that he had mentioned...I had missed them earlier. And it had almost killed me. I was about to return the favor.

It took very little effort for me to find what I was looking for, now that I knew it was there. Yep, lots of nasty little black boxes, on all five floors. In each and every building Abstergo owned. And they were all connected to each other via closed circuit. Turns out Rikkin was smarter than I had originally thought. The bombs could only be activated from the level five of an Abstergo base. And only by him. Probably thought it was a good idea to have a 'scorched earth' policy in case the unthinkable ever happened. Now it had already happened, and I was left holding the trigger.

I set the timer for five minutes, and then started it.

I had said the Templars would burn. Now, they would.

I flew back to the TARDIS, my coat flapping behind me. The doors slammed shut behind me, and I leapt the distance to the console. Right, Seville. Off we go.

I threw the lever, just as the first explosion went off on-screen.

Definitely time to leave.

We dematerialized.

Hopefully, what had just happened around the world in the space of less than a day would cause enough of a distraction for me to reach my next goal without any interference, natural or supernatural. Because I was quite sure that where I was going next would quite a lot of attention from the latter.

While in flight, I pulled up everything I could find on William Calvers. No wife or kids, apparently. Career man. He did have a mother still alive, though, in Surrey. I copied the coordinates down for when we made the next hop.

With a thud, we landed. I could tell all this traveling through the wrong reality was stretching the Old Girl's limits.

"It's okay, Old Girl. Just one more trip after this, then we can leave. I promise."

I pushed open the doors, and stepped out.

Ha! First try. I even got the right time of night!

Before me stood the tomb of one of the most hotly debated people in history: Christopher Columbus. And all I had to do was open it, grab what I came here for, then get out.

There was just one slight problem:

It was suspended twenty feet in midair.

"Bollocks."

If it had been held up by pillars or columns, I think I would have been completely out of luck. As it was, even with four statues to use as foot and handholds, it still took far too long to climb on top.

You have no idea how hard it is to rotate a stone lid using just you knees because your hands are too busy trying to keep it from sliding off. I was sweating bullets by the time I finally cleared enough of the tomb for me to reach in and grab the object of my desire using just my teeth. From there, it was back on the lid went, and then down the statue I had used to clamber up.

Finally, I stood at the bottom again, with my prize still clenched between my teeth. I reached up for it, and then pulled it away to get a proper look at it. No doubt about it, this was it. Oh, the irony that the Apple of Eden had been in my mouth, of all places.

"To think the Templars spent centuries looking for this, and here it was, under their very noses the entire time."

"I was unaware there were any Templars still around, much less any looking for ...whatever that is."

I had already whipped my body around to face the voice by the third word, the Colt coming up in my hand.

He (whoever he was) held up his hands. "Please, I mean you no harm."

"Maybe. But that doesn't necessarily mean you wish me health, either."

"On the contrary. I'm a priest. It's kind of my job."

"...Fair point. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see you appear out of thin air. You wouldn't happen to be an angel, would you?

"I'm afraid not, Father. But I can give one a quick call, if you'd like."

"I think I can handle that myself, thank you...If I might ask, what exactly is it that you have there?"

"It was my understanding conversations usually began with introductions, but it appears we've skipped right to the part where we ask somewhat personal questions."

"You're right. My apologies. My name is Camilleri; Father Luca Camilleri. And yours is?"

"Camilleri?"

"You as well?"

"No, sorry, it's just.. You're Father Camelleri?"

"That is what they call me, yes."

If there was ever any proof that Fate existed, this was it.

I couldn't help it. I chuckled. Then I laughed. Then I nearly passed out from the lack of oxygen.

When I was finally able to breathe again, I holstered the Colt and stuck my hand out.

"Sorry bout that, it's just that I wasn't expecting to find you, of all people, much less here. Put her there, Father."

Slowly, he reached out, and took my hand.

"Witcher. My name is Witcher."

"It's a pleasure. If I might ask, how did you recognize my name? You don't seem, well, forgive me, but you don't seem very religious."

"Oh, you'd be surprised. But in this case, you are absolutely right. I recognized you from a story a couple of my friends once told. One involving a certain stolen relic."

His eyes widened. "You know…"

"The two denim-clad disasters? Not personally, but I'm well acquainted with the madness that is their lives."

"...Am I then to assume that the object you are currently holding possesses a bit more power than what is natural?

"Absolutely Father. Because, you see, this...is the original Apple of Eden."

"...You're not serious."

"I'm always serious. With days off."

"Then it should be protected! We should place it under lock and key - in the Vatican! Yes, that's it!"

"FATHER."

He turned back to me, freezing when he realized I had once more drawn my gun.

"None of that is going to happen, for one very simple reason: the Templars."

"...What of them?"

"Have you checked the news recently?"

"Yes, but they've been running nothing but updates on the collapse of some company called Abstergo."

"Collapse is right. As it turns out, it was a front for a modern group of Knight Templars. And they weren't what you think they were. They tried to play God, in more ways than one. Bending man's will to their own. They searched for the Apple for centuries, because it would have given them the ability to do just that. I objected. So I toppled them, literally and figuratively. I doubt they have a single building left standing anywhere in the world. But if I know anything, it's that there's no way they're gone for good. And if we were to just give something like the Apple of Eden to the Church, where, need I remind you, the Templars originated, just exactly what do you think would happen?"

"...Bad things?"

"Very bad things. Now, I could try and find our friends in flannel, and give it to them for safe-keeping, but frankly, they've got enough on their plates at the moment. And as much as I would like to, I can't destroy it. So what I'm going to do is take it as far away from this universe as I can. Remove the temptation, so to speak."

"And how will you do that?"

"Very carefully. In fact, I don't anticipate ever coming back to this reality again. But, just in case I ever need to return, might I trouble you for a few drops of blood from 'a most holy man'?"

"Is that what they needed it for? Travel between different worlds?"

"Something like that."

"Were they from another world?"

"No."

"Are you?"

"...Yes. Okay with that?"

"What is Heaven but another world we cannot enter except through Christ?"

"...I'll take that as a yes. Wish I could stay longer, but I better get cracking. The Templars aren't gonna be on the back foot for long, and I need to get out of here before they notice someone popping up places they probably shouldn't be."

"Then I shan't delay you any longer."

I holstered the Colt once more. "Thank you for understanding."

"Of course, my son."

I turned back to the TARDIS.

"Wait."

I paused. "Yes?"

"You said you toppled them. All by yourself."

"Yes."

"How many lives did you take to do so?"

I thought of Astrid, buried now and forever in a cement tomb.

"...Too many."

"Do you regret it?"

"...No."

"Then, I'm afraid your soul may be in some danger, my son."

"...My soul was lost a long time ago, Father. All I can do now is try and keep anyone else from losing theirs. And end those who already have."

"...My mistake. You are not lost, after all. You are like the older of the two brothers I met: a very rare thing in this world. Not a good man, no. Something else."

"...And that is?"

"A Righteous One. Farewell, my son. May Heaven take your soul."

"I doubt it will, Father. But I appreciate the thought."

"Not a thought. A prayer. Here. You asked for my blood. After, well, you know... I started carrying a few vials of it. I thought it might be useful for other things. It turns out it works well when used in place of an exorcism."

I accepted the offered vial. "Thank you. For everything."

"And you as well."

"Catch you on the Flip Side, Father."

He nodded, and slowly began to walk away.

It was my turn. "Father?"

He turned back. "Yes?"

"You might want to watch this next bit."

The doors swung closed behind me. On-screen, I could see him still standing there, waiting.

I threw the lever.

VWHOOOOSH. VWHOOOOSH. VWHOOOOSH.

I took a screenshot. His expression was something I would treasure for years.

"Worth it."

I looked back to the controls. "Right, then. Next stop, Surrey."