(Prologue: ?)

Once upon a time, I was important.

I was someone who people looked up to. I guided them through their most difficult years, showed them the correct path towards the light.

I was a younger man then. Now I am old, I feel so very old as my legs burn, my limbs flail, my throat sears, running. Still running. Always running. Everything I had, torn away by one man, Porky Minch, and I am not the first, nor will I be the last. Will I be yet another smear, added to his list of crimes? Will the demons of hell add another forty lashings for my passing? Or will I be the one to send him into the flames?

All empires fall, I tell myself through gritted teeth. I just need to be out of the way when they do. Because Porky won't go down without a fight.

I desperately need food. I need civilization. I know there are settlements, villages, along the border of the Great Forest, but they have eluded me. Instead, there have just been meadows, wheat fields and abandoned farms. I've climbed hill after hill, napped under the thorniest hedges and drunk the filthiest water.

Meanwhile, Porky's city rises, out of the mud and the mire. His skyscrapers stand tall. But I will live to see them burn; I can promise myself that much.

I can't outrun Porky, but Porky can't outrun time.


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~~o00o~~

Chapter 13: Cool Like You

(Ness)

~~o00o~~

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For a few seconds when I wake, I'm the happiest person in the world.

Lucas is beside me. The covers are warm. There's even the smell of breakfast bacon filling the room. But then, yesterday comes rushing back to me; the Face, the Future Human, the grave - the blank grave-

I choose to close off those thoughts for now. It's no good thinking like some crackpot maniac when about a million things are trying to kill us. I shut my eyes again, intending to perhaps drift off, but Lucas stirs.

"Good morning." I smile sleepily.

"Ness?" He looks at me, bleary eyed. "Hnn - what am I doing here-?"

"I don't know." I shrug, grinning. "I guess you just think I'm so amazing."

"I must've been delirious and stumbled in. Thanks to the head injuries," he adds, as if that makes it more true. I laugh. He's clearly lying, but I don't mind. It was probably cold and lonely over on his side of the room, and truth be told, I liked having him next to me.

He kept the nightmares at bay.

"I'm tired." I yawn. "Can't we skip school today? Sleep for the rest of our lives?"

"Serves you right for taking a midnight stroll." Lucas socks me in the arm. "And look at you - you're filthy!"

"I'll shower later. Probably."

"You will," Lucas decides. "Or no more hugs."

I respond by getting Lucas into a headlock. He yelps, trying to bat my arms away, but of course it's futile.

Play fights with your best friend? Are you sure you're not a homosexual?

I freeze, my pulse raising. Of course not! It's just platonic, that's all. I ignore Buttercup's evil tone. But then, the Face's awful visage comes into my head-

Lucas senses my loosened grip, and he wriggles out of the headlock, turning pink with indignation.

"Not fair!"

"Lucas?" I yawn again.

"What now?" He folds his arms.

"How do I be cool like you?"

"Hm?" Lucas's indignant expression fades. "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday in the forest, I was terrified." I get out of bed, not wanting to meet his eyes. "You were cool-as-a-cucumber, calm as anything. How do I be like you?"

"Ness," Lucas mumbles. "Don't be silly. You don't have to be like me, you're amazing just as you are."

"But how am I supposed to keep you safe from Future Humans if I'm scared of everything?"

"Scared is good," Lucas says, coming to my side. "It's important for survival. If you're scared, you have a flight or fight response; you have a much better chance at staying alive. You're perfect how you are, and I mean that."

Butterflies surge from a hidden pocket in my stomach.

"Lucas…"

"We should go down to breakfast." He pats me on the back, heading towards the door.

Breakfast. So ordinary. Ordinary seems strange after last night, after yesterday.

"Yeah." I nod, enthusiastic regardless. "It's bacon today!"

Unfortunately, when we get downstairs, it turns out there is no bacon. Instead, there are what looks at a distance to be dead rats sitting in the trays.

"Bacon's all gone," snarls the server when we ask. "It's scrambled egg."

"Lovely," I say, despite wanting to begin a long tirade about how we should boycott the school canteen for not cooking enough bacon. The portions remind me of rotting meat, but I decide not to complain, seeing as the server has direct access to the kitchen knives. I spot Toon Link standing up by our table, miming something dramatic, Villager laughing along, and Red grumpily eating his porridge. It's a relief to see some normality.

"Where have you two been?" Villager asks, eyeing our meals with suspicion. "You're filthy!"

"Outside," I say vaguely, remembering Villager's concerns about the grave. "How did you sleep?"

"Have a guess," Toon Link groans.

"I hope your insomnia goes away soon," I say, patting him on the back.

"Actually," Red pipes up. "Insomnia doesn't just go away. It's a chronic condition."

"Thanks for the advice," Toon Link grumbles, taking a bite out of his bacon. I eye it with envy, looking down at my scrambled egg, which is now oscillating in a very suspicious manner.

"What class do you all have first?" Villager asks.

"We have Sport," Red declares.

Lucas groans, and I remember his injuries. "Can't we skip today?"

"Yes." Toon Link gives a vigorous nod. "I've got to practice my lines. I signed up for that play."

"What's the play going to be?" I ask.

"He robs from the rich, gives to the poor…" Toon Link mimes firing a bow. "Ye great olde legend of Robin Hood!"

"Oh, really?" Villager leans in, interested. "Which character are you?"

"Maid Marian, of course!"

Lucas bursts into giggles. Villager stares, eyes wide.

"Are you trying to get bullied?"

"Your faces!" Toon Link laughs. "Of course not. I'm Little John."

"Ah," Villager grins. "That makes more sense."

"Shush, you." Toon Link bats his face. "You're shorter than me."

"I'd pay good money to see you as Maid Marian, though," Villager muses. "Imagine, Toon Link in drag. Fantastic."

"Interesting kink you've got there." Toon Link says, taking another bite out of his bacon.

"No!" Villager turns beet red. "It's not a kink, I was just - agh!"

Toon Link laughs his head off.

The clock chimes for lessons, and I stand, having not even touched the egg, which has melted into a gelatinous heap.

"See you all later, then. I think we've got Double History-"

"What fun." Villager grits his teeth. "I cannot wait to analyse some more sources. Or guess whether a bone is from the fifth or sixth century."

"History is alright, isn't it?" Toon Link frowns.

"Yeah, but being next to Zelda and Link isn't."

"Oh wow!" Toon Link gasps. "He really has moved on! Hey, ladies, Villager's back on the market!"

"Didn't I say in the woods-"

But Toon Link cuts him off. "See you around, short stuff!" He disappears in the direction of the theatre room, and Villager rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, see you." Villager turns to me, before lowering his voice. "And Ness, you all good after yesterday's, uh, incident?"

"Yes, thank you." I blush, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Alright, good, good. Okay, see you later!"

"Yeah, see you-"

Lucas and I walk down the hall, into the art room. Shulk is, of course, the only one inside. He looks up and smiles.

"Hello there, good to see you both! Here for some extra study I presume? Skipping sports lessons as usual? When I was your age, I did the same, those were simple days, back when Professor Dickson was teaching, and-"

"Good to see you too, Professor," Lucas says, before Shulk can tell us his entire life story. "Do you have any more newspaper headlines?"

"But Lucas, weren't you mid-painting?" Shulk asks.

"I just want to keep up to date." Lucas's eyes betray his light tone.

I nod in understanding. There's no other source of information on Tazmily. I feel a twinge of guilt. I feel somehow like it's my fault; my city is destroying his village, after all.

"I've got plenty here somewhere..." Shulk digs around in a rather cluttered drawer. "I'd been collecting some for our lesson this afternoon, you see. I don't actually read them, you know, it's all a load of propaganda, but - aha! Here they are!"

"Where do you get the newspapers from?" I ask, taking them. A giant advert for PorkyCarriage hire blares in my face.

"I take out a subscription." Shulk waves a hand, distractedly sliding the drawer shut. "It's delivered twice a day from Onett. It comes with the rest of my mail, along with Xenoblade Today, oh, and Artist Monthly, and-"

"Wait a minute," Lucas says sharply. "If Onett is quarantined, how does all this mail get delivered?"

"Yeah, hold on," I say. "I've been getting letters from home. If the virus has shut everything down…"

"Ow!" Shulk winces, having accidentally trapped his hand in the drawer. "Uh, not my area. Ask Professor Rosalina, she's the science teacher. Perhaps the envelopes are virus-proof?"

Lucas's mouth thins. I'm sure he's considering the scientific improbabilities of that statement.

"Anyway," Shulk continues obliviously, wrenching out his sore hand and turning towards the door. "Professor Ryu said he had to tell me something about disap- I mean, about uh, taxes! So, don't destroy my art room, please."

"Thank you," Lucas says absent-mindedly as Shulk disappears. I get up and shut the door in case of intrusion, sitting behind my canvas. I like to watch Lucas paint, he does it with such ease and precision, every stroke so masterfully planned out. He builds up layers of colours to wonderful effect.

The art room is messy, but characterful. Works by past students cover the walls, whilst a number of coloured splatters coat the floor. I vividly remember causing one of them myself; I had been carrying a tube of yellow paint across the room, but I hadn't noticed the loose lid, and so I left a sunflower-hued trail across the floor. But to my surprise, Shulk had hailed it as a masterstroke, a political message about the futility of life.

Artists are weird.

I was pretty horrendous at first. I only signed up to do Art because of Lucas. But I suppose I've improved somewhat, I can mix colours properly now, I can paint without dripping all over the canvas, and, with Lucas's help, I finally figured out how to do some perspective. I've become passable, which in my books is an achievement. If only Father saw it the same way. He's always wanted perfection, and besides, he's never liked creative subjects…

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~~o00o~~

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I'm sat in the dining room, Mother and Father opposite me, a single sheet of paper unfurled on the table. Options Form, it reads. Choose three from the list.

"So, then." Father snatches the document, withdrawing a fountain pen from his pocket. "Let's run through this one last time."

"Please-" I interrupt, but he cuts me off.

"You will do Business Studies. And History. Then, you may choose between Latin or Geography."

"I don't want to take Latin or Geography." I say, drawing my knees up to my chest.

"Well, too bad." He glares across the table. "Those are the subjects that are best for you."

"But - can't I do music? I can play the harp, can't I?"

"Music?" He looks appalled. "Where do you think that'll get you? I'll tell you; absolutely nowhere. I can't have my son, the heir of this business, taking namby-pamby subjects like music."

"I like it." My lower lip quivers. "It's fun."

"For God's sake, Ness!" Father stands, and there's a crash as he slams his fist against the wood. I shouldn't have tested him; he's been in a horrible mood since the fight with Porky. "I'm trying to do the absolute best for you. I'm trying to do everything in my power to give you the future that you want. You don't go to school to have fun."

"I'm sorry," I murmur, curling in on myself.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Ness. You've always been ungrateful. Disobedient and ungrateful!"

"I'll do geography," I say hurriedly, blinking back my prickling eyes.

"Good." Father sits back down. "You'd damn well better, Ness. And I expect As. Straight As."

"I know," I say miserably.

There's a pause as he angrily writes the subjects on the form. I can only watch as he folds it, inserting it into an envelope, sealing it away. He puts it down on the table, glances back up and seeing my stricken face.

"What the hell are you looking like that for?"

My lower lip trembles.

"For goodness' sake, you're not going to cry again, are you? I didn't raise a crybaby. Get out of my sight, and pull yourself together. Go on! Go do something useful, for once!"

I run, blinking back tears. I catch a glimpse of Tracy washing the floor, looking utterly miserable. I hate my father. I hate him so, so much. I sprint into my bedroom, trying to keep myself together, Father's words still ringing in my ears. It's my fault. If only I was better...

There's a sudden noise from the window. Something slips through a tiny crack. A piece of paper. I pick it up, my hands shaking.

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Ness,

It's Lucas. I wanted to write, but I didn't want your Father to disapprove, so I'm going to slip it through your window. I hope your summer has been great! I'm missing you a lot. I'm sorry I never came round, and I'm sorry I never wrote either. I've been busy, some business with Porky. But don't worry about it! I'm alright.

What subjects are you picking? I'm going to pick Art, I think. And, I want to be able to make some money, so I'm going to pick Business and History. I know your Father probably won't let you choose, and I'm really sorry about that. I hope we're in all the same classes together. See you next week!

~ Lucas

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Relief washes over me. I take a deep breath, forgetting about all my problems with Father; this is a much bigger weight off of my shoulders. I open my drawer reserved for Lucas's letters, and I carefully place the new one in. Thank goodness. I'd thought - I don't know what I'd thought - I thought something terrible had happened, especially given what his Father had said... I'd given up writing, even. Five weeks of letters with nothing back. Thank the heavens he's okay.

I instantly set about writing a reply.

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Lucas,

I'm so glad you're alright. I don't know if you got all my other letters, but I was really worried about you. Is your family treating you right? Business with Porky sounds scary. I hope he didn't hurt you.

You're right, my Father made me pick Geography. But I'm doing Business and History as well. You'll be amazing at Art, I bet you'll get straight As.

Do you want to come over to my house for a few days? Especially if it's difficult over there. I miss you loads and loads, and I'm going to give you so many hugs when I see you again.

Stay safe,

~ Ness.

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I sneak into Father's office to grab an envelope. It's a tricky business, but I know the marks of a good thief: leave everything as it was before, leave no traces behind. It's instinct at this point, stealing from Father's office is the one way I can always beat him. I know to replace what was taken with something of similar proportions, so it shall go undetected, at least for a while. Though as I slide out an envelope and turn towards the door, there is a horrible surprise: Mother's brown eyes, boring into mine.

But she smiles. She sweeps in, taking the letter from my hand, folding it neatly into the envelope.

"For Lucas?"

"Yeah," I manage.

She withdraws another envelope from her pocket. I recognise it as the options form, and I eye it with trepidation. Her voice is barely audible, as she says, "Change it to what you want to do."

"But." My heart beats, uncertain. "Father-"

"Don't tell him. I'll take the blame."

"Really?"

She hesitates, as if she wants to say something more. But instead she smiles, giving me a one-armed hug. "Really."

"Thank you!" I say, running through the hallway, back into my bedroom. I tear the form open, and I reread Lucas's letter.

'I'm going to pick Art.'

How hard can it be? I've never painted before, but Lucas can teach me. A thrill of rebellion courses through me as I edit the form. Once I'm done, I practically throw it into Mother's hands.

"Good luck, Ness," she says solemnly.

"Thank you, Mother."

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~~o00o~~

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I stand back, looking at my finished painting. Drawings of envelopes surround the pig's head now. They encircle him, ensnaring him. I smile. I'm actually kind of pleased with it. Lucas looks over at my finished work.

"That's really good. I like it."

"Thanks. I like it too."

I look over to Lucas's masterpiece. The buildings are taller and thornier-looking now. It's almost hyper-realistic, of course, since he's super-talented.

"Y'know, Ness." Lucas smiles genuinely at me. "Yours is better than mine."

"What, mine? This thing?" I'm taken aback by the sudden praise.

"It's interesting."

"Well, thank you-"

I'm interrupted by the clock chiming for the next lesson, and oh, great, it's Mathematics for me. I notice Lucas gathering up all of the newspaper headlines, probably to read over later. I make a mental note to read them with him.

One long traverse all the way down the mathematics corridor later, I sit down next to Villager, and damn it, I'd also forgotten about being mathematically illiterate.

"Alright!" Marth sweeps into the room. "Since none of you understood Differential Calculus, except star pupil Ness, we are going to come back to that again at the end of the term. For now, though, we will drastically move onto our next topic, which will be equations of perpendicular lines on graphs…"

I sigh, burying my head in my arms. There's not even any point listening. A worksheet is given out.

"Do you get it?" Villager asks.

"We can try guessing," I say weakly. "It worked last time."

Villager laughs. "C'mon Ness, it's okay. We can do this."

"But I'm so tired…."

"Tired? Howcome?"

"Lucas and I went out into the forest last night."

"You - what?" Villager is momentarily stunned. "You didn't go out and look at the grave, did you?"

I squirm nervously.

"Ness!" His eyes widen.

"Villager!" Marth looks over, annoyed. "Keep it down, please."

"Sorry, Professor." Villager drops his voice lower. "But seriously? Ness, I told you, that's dangerous."

"I know, I know-"

"And in the dead of night?"

"I know," I groan. "I know I'm reckless, and stupid, and whatever-"

"I didn't say that."

"You might as well have done." I slump down.

"What's up with you, Ness?" Villager folds his arms, looking thoroughly put out. "You've been sad and depressed lately, even before we saw the grave."

"Nothing's up."

"You can tell me, you know. I am your friend."

"It's a long story," I manage. "I'm dealing with it. Can we talk about something else?"

"Well, okay." Villager sighs. "What did the grave say?"

"Nothing."

"Ness, please, you have to talk, you have to tell me these things-"

"I am! It said nothing. It was blank. Other than the bit we'd already seen."

"How can that be right?"

"I don't know," I say.

But Villager perks up. "Don't you see - this is actually a good thing!"

"What? What's good?"

"The grave being blank!"

I wrack my brains. "How is that good in any way?"

"Well, it means your death isn't predetermined! You could die at any time!"

"I - that's not very reassuring!"

"That sounded a lot better in my head." Villager grimaces wryly.

"Boys!" Marth comes over again, looking stern. "I assume, from the continued chatter, that you've finished the worksheet?"

"We were discussing how we should begin it," Villager lies.

"Ah, excellent. I'll explain… it's actually pretty simple..."

One explanation later, and I still don't understand. Oh well.

"But yeah," Villager continues, "I'm glad… that you're going to be, well. Safe."

"I'm glad you're not freaking out," I say, breathing a sigh of relief. I'd thought he was going to lambast me.

"Oh, I'm freaking out!" Villager exclaims. "A gravestone with my friends' names on? That's really, really creepy."

If only he knew about all the other creepy things going on.

"I'm surprised you're not more freaked out," he adds as an afterthought.

"I am, well, scared," I mutter begrudgingly.

"Well, stay strong," Villager consoles, patting me on the back. "If I'd known we'd be talking about this when I first met you..."

"It's not too late to replace me."

"I wouldn't do that," Villager says.

"I know."

There's a small silence. Once again, I'm not used to talking about serious subjects with Villager, but it seems that this is going to be one of many changes we undergo this term. It's impossible to avoid a dark topic when we're practically swimming in them.

"Right, I give up." Villager closes his mathematics book.

"Same." I follow suit. "We can visit the library and cram before the exam."

"Sounds great to me."

After the lesson, I hang back to ask Marth when the mathematics competition is; it's next Wednesday, the same day as Bayonetta's party. My stomach soars when I remember it's finally time for lunch, but I'm intercepted by Rosalina.

"I've got a letter from your sister," she says kindly, when I'm sat down in her office. My mouth opens a little, and I reach out to take it. She hands it over, and I tear it open.

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Nesster,

You're right - you're the embarrassing one. I'm glad Lucas is doing good, though. All my many many friends are doing good as well. Nobody round here has caught the disease yet. Mother is a little sick, but it doesn't seem to match the disease's symptoms. It sounds like you're having a weird time over there - ha, as if I believe all of those crazy rumours. It's been a week since you left! Not long enough for that much chaos. Life is grand. Schoolwork sucks.

Girls aren't attractive, hm? Interesting. You'll probably find out who you are soon. Maybe you're into guys! That'd be cool, actually. Father would be so pissed off if you didn't continue the family line, and it'd be hilarious. On another note, I failed a few exams and Father took away my poetry and burnt it. Guess that's the end of that phase.

Missing you, (Not really)

~Tracy

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I smile. Her letters are always a refreshing escape from the woes of education. I borrow a fountain pen and paper, and hastily write a reply:

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Hey, Tracy!

I'm writing quickly, because lunch has begun and I'm hungry. I hope that Mother gets well soon. Keep me updated, okay?

I don't know about the homosexuality thing. Father wouldn't like it if I'm into guys. He'd kick me out. I'd probably be rejected by everyone because it's illegal, isn't it?

Good luck with school! Father sucks. Give him hell from me.

See you soon,

~ Ness

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I sit down next to Lucas with my soup and bread roll, but he's wearing a nervous expression, a sure sign that something's happened.

I squeeze his hand, "What's up?"

"I had Business Studies. Wario said that he'd asked me to do eight pages of the business plan, not four."

"What? That lying, cheating scumbag!"

"...He gave me a triple detention. Three hours, tonight."

"Triple? What's he going to make you do?"

"I don't know." Lucas flops onto my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I hug him, suddenly keen to blame Wario for everything wrong with this planet. "He sucks. I hate him so much."

"Hate is a strong word," Red says bluntly.

"Yeah, but-"

"And yet, it's not strong enough for Wario!" He takes a remarkably vicious bite of his bread.

"What?" I'm taken aback. Red's the biggest teachers' pet of all time. "I didn't know you had such a problem with him."

"He's awful. He isn't teaching us anything. Rambling on, and on, and on..."

"Sounds like a bit of a flop. Imagine taking business," Toon Link says, consuming his soup with ease.

"Says you," Villager laughs. "Imagine taking Theatre."

"Theatre is amazing!"

"It's behind you!" Villager makes a face.

"There's more to theatre than just pantomimes," Toon Link grumbles, folding his arms.

"Oh no there isn't," Villager says, and Toon Link glares at him. Villager bursts into a fit of laughter, and so does Lucas. Lucas seems to be easing up, but I notice he hasn't touched his food.

"Lucas, aren't you gonna eat?"

He stops laughing immediately. "I'm not hungry."

"Lucas, come on," I say, worried by his new stance. "It's just a detention. Well, three, but they'll be over and done with quickly."

"Wario caned me," Lucas says flatly.

I open my mouth, and close it, before pulling him into another hug.

"Where? Are you okay? I'm gonna cane him right back, I swear-!"

"It wasn't - it wasn't that," Lucas says. His eyes are cold, suddenly, and I feel distinctly uncomfortable. "He did it in front of the whole class, Ness. They were all laughing."

"It was quite disgraceful, actually." Red continues to ravage his bread. "I shouted at them all."

"Screw them all," I declare. "I'm going to find each and every person who laughed, and I'm going to-"

"Ness, please, don't do anything stupid," Lucas begs, gripping my wrist. He looks worried, and suddenly I hate how apathetic he gets when people hurt him. He's like a doormat, letting anyone do as they please.

"They made you sad," I reason.

"It's fine. I shouldn't have mentioned it." But he averts his eyes. I pull him into another hug, and he makes a small squeaking noise, but thankfully hugs back.

"Anyway," Toon Link says, changing the subject. "I have news. I caught Meta Knight and Olimar carrying a massive net through the library."

"Alright, we're avoiding that route," I decide. "They're supposed to be after Lucas today."

"I know," Villager says darkly. "You'd better be careful. Remember when they hung Popo up on a pole for a whole day? You don't want that to be you."

"You know, I haven't seen Popo in a little while," Toon Link says, frowning. Lucas and I exchange a hasty glance, suddenly worried. What with the disappearances, Popo could well be one of the victims.

"What lesson is next?" Villager asks, changing the subject.

"Honestly, don't you have a timetable?" Toon Link sighs, pulling out his own and giving it a scan.

"I lost it."

"Sure, sure."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're just socially awkward and don't know what else to talk about," Toon Link declares triumphantly.

"That statement is disappointingly hard to refute," Villager says as he takes the last bite of his bread.

The clock chooses that moment to chimes for the end of lunch. Keen to talk my budding Wario-Villain-Theory through with Lucas, I stand, and he follows suit. History is supposed to be being held in a spare classroom upstairs, thanks to the damage sustained to Ryu's classroom. We head out of the main hall into the main corridor, but I notice too late…

A thin string tripwire. Lucas collides right with it, and with a surprised noise, he's yanked upwards, hanging upside-down from the ceiling.

"Lucas!" I shout, which unfortunately draws the attention of a lot of people. A crowd gathers fast; Lucas struggles, but the string is tied tight around his foot. I try to untie him, but the knot is too high. Lucas screws up his face, determined not to shout or cry, then Meta Knight swaggers out of the nearby bathroom, and something in me snaps.

"Fuck you! Get him down!"

"Why should I?" Meta Knight laughs, pushing Lucas like a swing. His head strikes the wall, and I boil over.

"You're dead!"

"Am I really?" Meta Knight laughs.

"Ness, no!" Lucas shouts, when I surge forwards. His face is going red, strained with the effort of keeping his dignity. He's infuriatingly calm.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I yell. "Stick up for yourself for once, why don't you?"

"What is going on? Everyone should be in lessons!" Red shouts angrily, but he's pushed aside by the crowd, laughing and pointing.

"You asshole!" I shove Meta Knight in frustration. "Pick on someone your own size!"

"Is it a fight you want?" Meta Knight snarls. "Then it's a fight you'll get!"

The crowd cheers, eager to see some action. But before I can do anything, Toon Link shoves through, fists bared.

"This isn't funny! You get Lucas down, right this second!"

"Toon Link! Stop! Get back here!" Villager calls from the other side of the crowd, but he's not heard over all the rabble, and I push Meta Knight against the wall, anger flowing through me. Nobody hurts Lucas.

"Olimar!" Meta Knight calls, and Olimar swaggers out of the bathroom. "Let's make this even!"

"You hurt Lucas, you hurt us!" Toon Link squares up to him. "I'll fight you right here and now!"

"You wouldn't!"

"I would, you fucker," Toon Link shouts, swinging a punch, and I take advantage to go for Meta Knight, and suddenly it's a mess of fists and kicks and shoves, and I'm fighting as best I can, for Lucas's honour, all while the crowd encircles us. I think I nail Meta Knight in the head, then Olimar has me pinned down; I struggle, but it's not much good - Toon Link grapples with Meta Knight, pushing him back against Olimar, who is forced to release me.

I roll to one side, standing back up, and but suddenly Villager's there, trying to separate us all, but it's no good, because I'm going to make them pay for teasing Lucas, for humiliating my best friend, and I catch a glimpse of Toon Link's nose bleeding, but still he fights, chaotically swinging his fists around. I glance back at Lucas's helpless form, and I'm angry again, I punch Olimar hard, but suddenly, I'm flipped over onto my back, and-

"BOYS!"

I've never heard an angrier shout in my life. Headmaster Hand storms through, forcing the lot of us apart.

"What the hell are you doing? This is a school, not a wrestling arena! All four of you, with me. Now!"

The crowd gasps. I disentangle myself from the scene, my stomach suddenly sinking - what was I thinking? Of Lucas. I had to defend Lucas…

Red unties him behind me. Good. But Toon Link, Mega Knight, Olimar and I, we're led away from the dispersing crowd, and we're made to sit outside of Headmaster Hand's replacement office. Toon Link obeys stoically, but I shake. If I have to send another letter back home, I'm in serious trouble. More so than I may be already. Headmaster Hand starts calling us in one by one, and of course, Meta Knight gets chosen first.

I sit next to Toon Link, wanting to speak to him, but not in the presence of Olimar. It's not fair. Why does Lucas have to be tormented so frequently? Lucas has done nothing to them, not ever, but they have the nerve to hang him up in the corridor. What kind of deranged psychopath could do that? I promise to myself that I will avenge Lucas, no matter what. I'm almost certain that they, Meta Knight and Olimar, have something to do with everything that's happening. They have it out for Lucas, and so does whoever's after him. It has to be them.

But yet again, I failed. I let it happen. I simply wasn't observant enough. We need to leave the school, perhaps, to get out of here… if Lucas is in danger, then I'm willing to do anything for him. It's a shame that everywhere's so dangerous; every time we've gone outside, something's happened. I feel a twinge of nerves for the Wilderness Survival Week. A whole week in the forest, alone, with no support whatsoever? I have the horrible feeling that we might not make survive.

Olimar is called in by Headmaster Hand, and a dejected looking Meta Knight leaves. My concern is refuelled - what's going to happen? How angry will he be? Having him as an enemy is not a good idea. He could make school life hell. He could give me detention for the rest of my life.

Toon Link silently scoots up to sit next to me.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Hi."

"We might be for it now," I say, rubbing my neck.

"Lucky that I have a high pain tolerance," Toon Link says, wincing. "But - those bastards! There's no reason for it! Lucas would never hurt them, Lucas is so innocent. I guess that's what made me so mad."

"We need to get revenge," I suggest, but Toon Link shakes his head.

"No way."

"Why not?"

"We'd get in even more trouble. Come on, Ness, it's okay."

"They hurt Lucas."

"Lucas wouldn't want you to get into trouble."

I open my mouth to protest, but something inside me knows he's right.

"Fine."

"Good," Toon Link says. "Now, are you alright?"

"I guess."

"You didn't get hurt in the fight?"

"Not as badly as you did - have you seen your nose?"

"What?" Toon Link runs a hand under his nose, and is surprised when it comes back covered in blood. "Oh, great. These clothes are ruined!"

"Oh no…" I'm not in the mood to laugh, not at all. I can only wait in anticipation for my turn in Headmaster Hand's office.

Toon Link is called in, and he turns to me, gulping as he's led inside. I feel stupid. So, so stupid. Lucas is going to be so disappointed in me.

Not for the first time.

Yeah, not for the first time. I'm very good at letting him down.

You're fortunate that he stays friends with you.

Very fortunate. I'm kind of, well, awful.

Everyone says so.

I'm only snapped out of my thoughts when I'm called in. Sick with dread, I stand, ready to find out exactly what Headmaster Hand will have to say.

I sit before him.

"Ness, I'm disappointed."

"Sorry." My lip trembles. Of course he is. I look down at the floor.

"You can't just apologise and be done with it. Ness, what kind of behaviour was that? What were you thinking? This is school. Not a battleground."

I look up, staring Headmaster Hand in the face, but I'm interrupted by a knock on the door.

"What is it?" he calls. "Can it wait?"

"No - it's to do with what happened." Rosalina. She's out of breath.

"Come in."

She hurries in, placing a heavy bag on the table. I get the impression that she ran. "Ness and Toon Link were provoked, Headmaster. Meta Knight and Olimar hung Lucas up from the ceiling."

"It's true," I say.

"Rosalina, if I wanted your opinion on the matter, I would've asked for it," Headmaster Hand says firmly.

"You have to listen, for once." Rosalina folds her arms. "I witnessed it myself-"

But she's cut off before she can finish. "For once? Don't talk to me like that. You know you're only here because I owe you, you're-"

"The only female professor in the district, I know, but-"

"You'll soon be the only former female professor if you don't hold your tongue!"

"Headmaster, forgive me, but what has happened to you?" Rosalina steps forwards, shaking. "The old you would always listen to reason."

"There is no old me, thank you very much." Headmaster Hand stares her down. "Please leave this room at once. Is that understood?"

"Yes! But-"

"At once!"

"I'll be outside, Ness," Rosalina says calmly, turning on her heel and leaving the room.

"Sorry for that interruption," Headmaster Hand continues.

"She's right." I remain unmoved. "They did hang Lucas up."

"I have no doubt they did, Ness, and they will be punished accordingly. As for you, Wario seems to be hosting a triple detention later, so you can attend that."

I inwardly celebrate. At least Lucas won't be alone.

"And I'll be sending a letter home," he adds gravely.

I try not to think about that.

"One more thing, Headmaster," I say, sudden determination flooding through me.

"What is it, Ness?"

"What are you doing about the disappearances?" I ask.

"You - what?" He's not quick enough to mask his shocked expression. "How do you know about those?"

"I overheard someone."

"I see." He glowers. "To be blunt, Ness, I don't think it's any of your business. Especially given you've just gotten into a fight."

"But we need to go home, Headmaster," I say, suddenly furious again.

"Believe me, I've tried to arrange it," Headmaster Hand sighs. "Thanks to the virus, we cannot go back. There's a quarantine."

"That's what everyone says. But, tell me this, how do letters and newspapers still keep arriving?"

"That's a different matter. They're pieces of paper, not people carrying diseases-"

"Why is the mailman allowed to leave the 'quarantined' city?"

"I do not know!" Headmaster Hand stands, angry now. "I suggest you prying, and get out of my office!"

I have no choice but to obey.

Thankfully, Lucas is waiting for me outside. I run over, pulling him into a hug, which he thankfully returns.

"You're an idiot, Ness."

"Yeah, I know." I sigh, looking down. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he says, rolling his eyes. "At least you've got the same detention as I do."

"How did you know that?"

"I could hear everything that went on in there," Lucas admits.

"You made a good point about the letters and the mailmen…" Rosalina muses, reappearing. "But you two should head to lessons."

"History," I recall. "Double History - we're late."

When we're out of earshot, Lucas turns and stops me, placing on a hand on my shoulder. I wince; it's still a little sore from the lightning, though, admittedly not as bad as I was expecting.

"We're already late," he says. "We can afford to stall a little more."

"That's not like you." I raise my eyebrows, concerned.

"It's kind of urgent," he says pointedly. Worry prickles at the back of my mind. Has something happened? Is he hurt?

"What's up?" I take his hand.

"Ness, how did they know?"

"How did they know what?"

"How did they know that I'd be the first one in the hall?" He runs a hand through his hair, not meeting my eyes. "That trap could've caught anyone. But they knew it would catch me. How is that possible?"

"Easy," I say, relieved. "They probably rigged it when they saw you coming."

"I…" Lucas hesitates. "Actually, that does make a lot of sense."

"So much for noticing all the details." I grin, just a little bit, and Lucas pouts.

"Shush! But, Ness, more importantly… Are you okay?"

"Me? Yeah."

"Do you have any bruises or injuries? That was quite a fight."

"No, I think I'm fine." I steady my breathing. "Are you, though? Being hung up didn't look fun."

"Everyone laughed," he says hollowly. "Again."

"I'm sorry…" I lightly touch his shoulder. "They all suck."

He sighs, resigned, and it's a little disheartening. "I know."

"While we're here," I say. "I have a new theory about who's behind everything. Wario."

"Wario?" Lucas furrows his brow. "No, wait, how?"

"He's rich. He's influential. It could've been him cornering you in the shower, we've seen what happened with him and Bayonetta in the forest... He's got it out for you. It all adds up!"

Lucas thinks. He puts the pieces together, focusing…

His eyes come alight. "Ness, you might be right!"

"And all this," I continue. "All the stuff that's been going on, he's a dirty sod, he could well be causing people to disappear. And he could somehow be to do with - with the Future Humans... and, and the Face… and… the grave…?" I fall short. "Okay, I'm not sure how he's related to that."

"Well..." Lucas thinks hard. "Ryu thinks that the Future Humans are out to get me, Wario has money, he could easily… but, what are the Future Humans? Why Latin - Wario doesn't know Latin, does he?"

I bury my face in my hands. Dammit! I'm wrong, once again. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. We need more clues.

"Ness?" Lucas looks up at me again. "I have a suggestion."

"What is it?"

"Erm." He looks a little sheepish. "Well, I think we should stop worrying about all this."

"What!? But it's important - you're in danger!"

"No - we might put ourselves in bigger danger, perhaps, trying to investigate… We should try and just enjoy the rest of our time at school, this term. We don't want all this to consume us, right?"

"I guess..." I think it over. He's actually, well, kind of right. We're not getting anywhere by investigating, and hell if I feel tired of worrying about it all. "Alright then. If you're sure."

"I'd much rather have fun." Lucas takes my hand. "We can hang out with our friends, goof around, just like before everything began."

I smile at him. "That sounds good to me."

"Awesome." He smiles back. "From now on, no worrying about the mystery. Sounds brilliant."

.

.

.

.

.

One history lesson later, my hand is aching after a surprise essay. It's finally, finally time for the last lesson of the week, which is merciful, to say the least. It's Art, and that means it's also time to read all of the newspaper headlines.

"Hello, class!" Shulk walks in, happy as always, wearing an apron covered in fresh paint. "Good to see you all today, but I have no newspapers, since Lucas took them earlier-"

"I still have them, Professor. Sorry." Lucas produces them, handing them back over.

"No, no, don't mention it! It's cool. Cool beans. Alright, you should've all finished at least one piece by now, and you probably should be moving onto your next one today, so uh, go ahead, and, good luck!"

"Alright," I say, poring over the first headline, taking Lucas's hand, just in case of bad news. "Tell me if you see anything good."

Virus cases increase to over 1000!

I bite my lip, moving the article to the side. I try not to think about Tracy and Mother, trapped in the middle of all of that chaos. Especially with the preparations for violence.

Generous Porky Minch supplies weapons to the Onett Armed Forces!

"Why would he do that?" I stare at the headline, alarmed.

"If there's a fight, more people will move to New Pork City," Lucas guesses, causing me to jump. "It's smart," he adds miserably. "Tazmily will have no chance."

But I'm not really listening, as something else, another article, another terrible article, looms:

Onett declares war on Tazmily!


A/N

This took me so long! I took a day off from writing and then I was struck with sudden plagues of writer's block, school, and insomnia. But it's finally done! Not much seemed to happen in this chapter, except a fight, which was pretty fun to write, and some general clearing-things-up, and making small progressions on all the little plot lines again. And family! I like writing about families, and Ness's is particularly interesting. Also, I wonder what business Lucas had with Porky?

Poor Lucas, hanging up from the ceiling…

Notes:

-I need to start making more obscure references to put here-

-Rainy! If you're reading this, hi! Mini shoutout to you for being awesome!

Reviews:

Guest: I love your story. It's so well written. This is the second time I've said this but I don't care. Each of your characters are so different and it's amazing what you do with them.

Thank you! Mysteriously, this review was posted on chapter 5, which I assume means that you're pretty new to reading it - I look forward to you getting to this chapter! I'm glad you're enjoying my story, mysterious guest.

See you next time,

~ ReadyForTeddy