I own nothing. Least of all this.

1:27

"No. Absolutely not."

Rose and River had abandoned me, probably to tag-team Simon into letting his sister go. Which left me all on my own to convince the Captain to take the job. Typical.

"In the last 24 hours, we found out aliens exist, and that they're capable of punching holes in space clear to the other side of the galaxy. We then traveled through one of those blasted holes, fought off a bunch of psycho sword monks without heads, and became a taxi service for a bunch of miscreants that make us look respectable. And we're done. The money was nice, but we're not fighting anymore beings. Not today. We need some downtime."

"Fair enough. How about I propose an alternative: take a paid vacation. All on me. Fix up Serenity, try out your new cloaking systems, knock about wherever you like. All expenses paid."

"The catch?"

"You let me borrow whoever wants to come along. Same pay rates as before, same vacation offer. You just leave it up to them which one they want to take. And I'll bring them back when we're done, safe and sound."

"Can you guarantee that?"

"I could answer that existentially, but all I'm gonna say is I'll do my best."

"...Let me sit on it. We still got a few more stops to make, right? I'll give you an answer when we're all done. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good. Oh, and you might want to head up to the med-bay. Last I heard, Miss Lorna was asking for you."

"Huh. Alright. I'll be along in a bit."

He nodded, and sauntered away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I admit, I was curious to know what Miss Lorna Bucket could possibly want with me. The real question for me, was whether or not my curiosity was enough to justify the awkward conversation I would have to endure to get to her?

Because, on my view-screen, I could clearly see the assembled Ponds, plus Rose, standing in the cargo bay. Right in front of the TARDIS doors. Obviously waiting for me. I sighed. Oh well. Might as well get on with it.

I stepped out.

It came as no surprise that Amy was the first one to speak.

"She's told us. All of it."

"All of it is quite a lot. You're gonna have to be more specific."

"The Templars. Abstergo. What you did to rescue her."

"Ah. That."

"They deserved to know."

"Well then, far be it from me to argue with the boss. So, now you know, can we skip to the part where you yell at me for my lack of morals and say I've gone completely off the rails?"

"No."

"...Might I ask why?"

"Well, to go off the rails, you would have to be on them to begin with."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Last Centurion, the world's greatest humorist!"

"Hush you."

"Yes boss."

"What Rory was trying to say, is...we know you're not the Doctor. You're from somewhere a lot...darker. And we haven't got the right to judge someone whose life we don't know anything about. So, all we're gonna say, is you may feel it's still your job to do what you used to do. Make the choices you used to make. But this world has the Doctor. It's not all on you anymore. You can...find peace. You've got a TARDIS; use it! See the universe. Make memories. Good ones. And let the Doctor do his job."

"Yes. Cause that worked out so well today."

In hindsight, I probably deserved that slap.

"Blimey. Always the gingers."

"You, shut up. What he meant to say was yes; yes you have the Doctor. But today is what happens when the Doctor has a personal stake in his choices. And every now and then, even the Doctor needs someone to make the hard decisions for him. Witcher's told me about the Star Whale, Amy. What if you hadn't been there that day? Would he have still been the Doctor if if he had done what he felt he had to? No. No he wouldn't. But that's the point of the Witcher. No matter what he does, no matter how far he goes, he will never lose his name. We fully intend to see the universe, and make some fantastic memories. But we also intend to be there when either the Doctor won't be...or can't be. I can't make it any clearer than that."

"...I think I understand. I still don't like it though."

"If anyone liked it, they wouldn't be the right people for the job, now would they?"

Amy's head tilted down. "No. I suppose not."

"Well, no that I haven't enjoyed this, but I was told Miss Bucket wanted to see me. If you'll pardon me…"

"Course. Just...one thing. Our daughter. Do you know...does the Doctor find her?"

"...Yes. But not for a long while yet. And you'll know when he does. Beyond that...I can't say."

"...Thank you."

"Don't mention it. We've got a while 'til London, and then longer 'til Leadworth. Feel free to poke around my TARDIS to relieve the boredom. You might be surprised by what you find. Rose, you can go with them, but I'd appreciate the company."

"Of course."

As we left, we could hear Amy's voice echoing back through the TARDIS doors. That made three people who didn't care for the redecoration. Joke's on them; the Old Girl was stubborn. I doubted she'd change the desktop before we inevitably crashed again. Which worked just fine for me.

River and Simon were waiting for us. Lorna was still up on the table, unconscious again, and obviously not doing good at all. Made me wonder what was so important she had to see me as soon as possible.

Simon's voice crashed into my train of thought. "I don't know, River…going back there, even to stop it...I'm not sure it's the best idea."

"It's a terrible idea. The worst. Unbelievably dangerous. Horrible. But I have to go."

"Why?!"

"Because there are others. Others like me. And someone has to save them."

"Then let them do it!"

He pointed to me and Rose. "They do this sort of thing all the time! Let them save the others!"

River tilted her head. "Save them? They're not going to save them. They're going to end them. Saving them...is my job."

"...What."

I cleared my throat. "I think what she means is, we weren't planning on saving anyone. We're going to burn the whole place to the ground, no matter what. I couldn't care less who's inside when we do. If anyone there deserves saving, it's not up to me to do it. Doctor Song's already said she's coming, presumably to do just that. If your sister comes, she'll be with her. Away from most of the danger; saving people. That's all."

"...Alright. I understand; this is something she has to do. If the Captain agrees, she can go. I can't come; I have a patient. So you...you two take care of her."

"I make no promise; I swear no oath. But I'll do my best."

"And it's not two. It's three. More, if anyone else wants to come."

"...Witcher…"

Lorna was waking up.

Naturally, that flustered Simon. "She's supposed to still be under...I sedated her."

"I have found that women tend to do whatever they're not supposed to do, and damn the consequences. It's bloody amazing sometimes."

"...Witcher...please…"

"I'm here, Lorna. What is it?"

"...Can…I stay?"

"Stay where?"

"...With...you…"

"Whatever you wish. You'll have to get back on your feet first, and I'm pretty sure I heard Vastra and Jenny talking about offering you a place, but you're free to do what you want. Just don't go getting shot again, okay?"

"O..kay."

She slipped back into unconsciousness.

"Witcher, if you're going to make a habit of having me worry about my patients' health when you're around, I suggest we avoid that as much as possible."

"Fair enough. I'll move along."

"If I won't get in the way, can I stay and watch? Just for awhile."

"Of course. River, you going or staying?"

"...I think I'll stay. For now."

"Right. Think I'll go check on the Paternoster gang. Strax has probably gotten into an arm-wrestling competition by now, and I'd like to see if anyone can beat him aside from Doctor Song."

"She can do that?"

"You think she can't?"

"...Yeah, you're right."

"Thought so. I'll be back."

There was, indeed, an arm wrestling contest. But Strax wasn't one of the participants.

"C'mon Zoe!"

"You can do it, boy!"

Jenny and Zoe. Who would have guessed

I whispered. "How long have they been going at it?"

"About seven minutes. Jayne bet his new launcher that his friend would win. Strax took the bet."

"And how about you?"

"I know Jenny. I've bet that the match will last exactly seven minutes, twenty-three seconds before…"

There was a blur of motion, and Jenny's body was lying across the table, her hand being held down across her chest by Zoe's.

"Well, that was unexpected. Right time, wrong winner."

"Not bad, Miss Zoe."

"Same to you, Miss Flint."

"How'd you know I was gonna try and flip ya?"

"Cause that's the exact same hustle I used to pull for a little extra cash."

"Huh. Not that I'm objecting, mind, but could you let me up now?"

"But I do so enjoy seeing you like this, Jenny. Makes a nice change of pace for you to be…"

I coughed. "That's enough of that."

"Very well."

"Your performance was inadequate, boy. We shall have to get you up to snuff for the next battle we are called upon for. Miss Zoe, your use of tactics and superior strength was a true honor to observe. I hope to meet you again on the field of battle, where we shall crush the life from our enemies together."

"Hm, sounds like fun. I look forward to it."

"As agreed, fair-looking, muscular girl, here are the scissor grenades of my bet. Take special care with them; they are outlawed in over seven planetary systems."

"Aw hell yeah, potato man. I'm gonna take real good care of 'em. Real good care. Hey, lizard lady. Since you was half-right, I was thinking we just let your bet slide. Sound good?."

"That's very kind of you, Mister Jayne."

"I thought so."

"Do I even want to know what your bet was?

A voice tickled my ear. "Don't you know by now, Witcher? A lady never tells."

"Ah, Doctor Song. I was wondering where you'd run off to. My apologies, Madame Vastra."

"Accepted."

"As a peace offering, here's something I managed to dig up for you."

"A sonic screwdriver? One of the Doctor's, I presume."

"Nope. Brand new. Keep it close; it'll come in handy later."

"I'll keep that in mind."

A *ding* echoed through the room.

"Looks like London's coming up, people. Strax, Vastra, Jenny, grab your gear and pull out the brellies. My money's on heavy rain in old London-town tonight."

"You speak as if from experience."

"You might say that. Two minutes, people."

"Any idea where my parents might have wandered off too?"

"The last I saw of them, Amy was complaining quite loudly to her husband that she really didn't care for the layout of my TARDIS. With a good deal of emphasis on the loud."

"Well, then. Shall we join them?"

"After you. Wait, were you saying we should join them in the TARDIS, or that we should join them complaining about the TARDIS."

"Yes."

"...Is this because I didn't have a screwdriver for you, or just because you're having me on?"

"Yes."

"What I thought. Lead the way."