I own nothing. Least of all this.

1:30

It was a nice park.

Swingset, seaside view, and an old wolf standing guard with a crossbow.

Excellent place to relax.

Henry, of course, was on the swing. And standing off to the side, watching, was the most dangerous person in Storybrooke. Well, if you don't count me that is.

"Gold? What are you doing here?"

I, of course, knew exactly what Rumpelstiltskin was doing.

"Well, my son made it clear I'm to stay away from him, so I'm spending some time with my grandson instead."

But I wasn't about to let anyone else know he had just been contemplating the murder of said grandson.

I could hear Snow behind us. "Emma, it's okay. Why don't you talk to Henry, and we'll handle this."

Emma passed us by, obviously to do just that. I tuned out the ensuing conversation. This one was infinitely more important.

"Mr. Gold, we have some news to share with you. And it's not good."

"Not. Interested."

"It's about your son."

"Yeah? What about him?"

"...Tamara shot him."

"...What? He's...dead?"

"They used a bean to open a portal. Neal was hurt badly, and he...fell through. He's gone."

"...Bae wasn't supposed to die."

"Greg and Tamara, they took something from Regina. A magical trigger. A failsafe in the curse that would, supposedly, wipe Storybrooke right off the map."

Snow cut in. "If they activate it, it's a self-destruct. Everyone not born in this world will be sent straight to Hell."

"I know this is hard, but we need your help."

"...No."

"They killed your son in cold blood, and you don't want to stop them?"

"They didn't kill my son. I did. I brought magic to this world to find Bae, and now he's dead. Magic always has a price, and this...this is it. But I'm prepared to pay it."

"But...we'll die! You'll die!"

"...Well, I've made my peace with that."

And off he walked, looking for all the world like the old man he was.

"David! Do something!"

Charming looked just as lost as Snow. He was in no shape to convince Gold of anything. But to be on the safe side, I thought it best to avoid any more confrontation.

"I'll handle it. You stay with Miss Swan and Henry. Don't leave without me."

And I strode off after Gold, leaving no time for objections.

"...I thought I knew everyone in this town. Seems I've missed one pathetic lifeform."

"Actually, you haven't. New around here. I just make it my business to fight people like Greg and Tamara, whatever world they may be from."

"So you're not from this world either. Tell me, Mr…"

"Witcher."

"Mr. Witcher. I take it you're the one who informed the Charmings exactly what activating that trigger does."

"Well, you know, considering not only where it's from, but what it takes to make it, I thought it best."

"If you know what a black diamond truly does, then there is only one thing you yourself can be. Time Lord."

"...Doesn't surprise me in the least that you figured that out. How much do you know?"

"Enough. Enough to know you consider yourself above all that happens to reality itself around you, and that you would never interfere, unless absolutely necessary. Which leads me to suspect that events are about to take place such that even the Time Lords wish to avoid the return of their lost locality."

"Fraid not, Gold. I'm what you call a renegade. And I do nothing but interfere. I'm just here to make sure Greg and Tamara get what's coming to them after it's all over. Things are in motion now that cannot be undone, neither by you or by me. You've made the right call to let come what may. Go home. Make your peace. And if you see the devil before I do, give him my regards. Catch you on the Flip Side."

He nodded in acknowledgement, and turned back to face the ocean. I left him standing there in contemplation.

I had deliberately left out the bits about Rose and Jayne. It was better to let Gold think I was here by myself, and for a reason (for now, at least). Gold loved his levers, and the less he had the better. The fact that he knew about Time Lords was worrying, but that was something to deal with later. For now, the important thing was to make sure we got our ride home.

I made my way back to the group. Five people, in one car. This was gonna be fun.


It was not fun.

Thankfully, Storybrooke was a small town. I don't know if I could have stood it if Henry had asked one more question about why Gold wouldn't come. All I can say is thank Gallifrey I had shotgun, or I might have been tempted to use one.

Regina was up and walking around by the time we got back. Jayne was posted up at the window, just itching for someone on the street to do something bullet-worthy. And Rose was seated at the table, obviously watching all other entrances. She learned quickly.

"Henry!"

"Mom!"

Their hug was interrupted by the ground doing a rather good impression of the Wipeout.

"Regina, was that…"

"Yes. The diamond was activated."

"So, we're all gonna die?"

"You were born here, so...you'll live."

"But...I'll be alone."

"...I'm so sorry, Henry."

"It's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna let it. You did this; now make it stop."

"I can't, there's no way."

"WELL, FIGURE IT OUT! IT'S YOUR FAULT!"

I whistled shrilly. "Will you all just stop. It doesn't matter whose fault this is; what matters, is we're all in the same boat now. And I, for one, don't plan on going down with the ship. SO WORK TOGETHER ALREADY!"

"And you lot ought to know by now it's always a good idea to listen to the tall, dark, and handsome one."

I just barely managed to catch Charming's fist before it hit Hook's face. I was not, however, fast enough to stop Jayne from grabbing his hair and holding a knife to his throat, or Rose from pointing the Last Word directly at his head.

"Please tell me this is Greg. You've no idea how bored I am, and a little carving oughta take care a'that quite nicely."

"Unfortunately, that is not Greg. It is, however, someone I am more than comfortable with you causing great bodily harm to if he tries anything. Am I clear, Captain Hook?"

"Quite clear, tall, dark, and handsome. I will, however, point out that threatening to kill me seems a bit redundant when we're all about to die anyway."

"No thanks to you. Regina told us you were working with Tamara to get your revenge."

"Well that was before they told me I had to die to get it."

"We don't have time for this. We have a real problem."

"Which is why I'm here. 'Cause staring staring death in the face has made me realize that if there's one thing I want more than my revenge, it's my life. So should we stop this thing now, and then resume bickering?"

"There is no stopping it. And the best I can do is slow it down, but that...will only delay the inevitable."

A clap from my hands. "Any delay is a good delay. I have a plan. Well, half of one."

"Please, we're all ears."

"Steal back the beans, and then use them to send everyone back to where they belong; the Enchanted Forest for you lot, and home for us."

"How? We don't even know where Greg and Tamara are."

"No, but I'll wager the good Captain does."

Jayne's grip tightened. "And he'll be more than happy to tell us, ain't that right pretty boy?"

"It would be my pleasure to help, of course."

"Help yourself. You'll take them, and leave us all behind. Why should we trust you?"

"We won't have to. Charming, you and Jayne go with him. And if he tries anything, shoot him."

"Quite hostile, aren't we?"

"Hostile would have been me specifying exactly where to shoot you."

"Regina and I should go slow down the diamond, give you guys time. Mary Margaret, you take Henry and make sure everyone's ready to go once we have those beans."

"And what did you have in mind for Rose and I, Miss Swan?"

Surprisingly, it was Regina who cut in. "Miss Tyler is coming with us. You're free to do whatever you like; no skin off my nose."

"He's coming with us. If he knows about black-point whatevers, maybe he can find a way to shut it off."

"I'll do my best, Sheriff."

"I'm sure."

Regina moved to stand in front of Henry. "Henry, before you go...I'm sorry for what's happened. I tried to be the person you wanted me to be...and I failed. But I won't let you be alone. You just, know that I love you."

"I love you too."

Really, what was it with all the hugging around here?

Hook watched sadly. "The things we do for our children."

I caught the flicker in Rose's eyes as he said it. I held my breath until it passed; then let it out slowly. We really didn't need that right now. Thank Gallifrey for small miracles.

"Jayne, the orders about shooting still hold. Disable, don't kill. If you have to make a choice, go for the girl. Wring all the information you can out of whoever you get. Then kill them."

"Will do boss."

"What? No, no killing!"

"With all due respect, Miss Snow, this isn't your kingdom anymore. And practically everyone in this room outranks you, both in experience and legality. So when I give an order to the man I am paying, you'd do well not to question it. Savvy?"

"She savvies. Let's go."


It was thankfully a short walk down to the mines. Regina and Emma led the way, with Rose and I bringing up behind. Not that we needed to follow. I could practically feel the wrongness in the air, in Time itself, and I was sure Rose could too.

It wasn't long before She brought up what I had been expecting Her to.

"So, when you told me to get close to Regina, I wasn't expecting to try and make friends with the Evil Queen."

"There's more to her than just that."

"Yes. I gathered. She lost her love. Thanks to Snow White. They didn't put any of that in any fairy-tales I ever heard."

"Different world; different stories. Everything here is a good deal more interconnected; Pixar Theory has nothing on Storybrooke."

"So, I know Regina and the Charmings, Hook, the Blue Fairy who I assume is the one from Pinocchio, and, apparently, Rumplestiltskin. Who else is here?"

"Now? Pinocchio himself, the seven dwarves, Red Riding Hood and her granny (who, incidentally, are both werewolves), Cinderella, Jiminy Cricket, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Oh, and Rumplestiltskin is both the Beast from that story, as well as the Crocodile from Captain Hook's. So many stories; where the heroes of one end up being the villains of another. Not everyone in this town is as black and white as they're made out to be back home; even someone with the last name of White can do some dark things."

"What about Sleeping Beauty? Aladdin? The Little Mermaid?"

"All in other worlds. For now. And we should probably do our best to leave before they show up."

"Why? What could be worse than a town getting dragged to Hell?"

"Name it, and eventually, it'll happen here. It's in the nature of this place; bridges between worlds attract as much weirdness as you can imagine. And this town bridges so many different realities that Murphy's Law might as well have been written here."

"Gotcha. Does that have anything to do with why we ended up here when that diamond exploded?"

"Probably. It is a Thursday."

"You don't look like Arthur Dent to me."

"You'd be surprised."

We were interrupted by the two up ahead.

"I can feel it. Like the oxygen's being sucked out of the air."

Regina clarified. "Not the air. The magic."

"Well, the reaction has to be powered by something. Did you think they were just gonna hook up a car battery to activate it? No; a dwarf's axe is what they used. It draws on the magic around it to break anything in the known universe. No matter how much it takes. And it has already taken quite a bit; I can feel the tendrils that anchor Storybrooke to reality slipping."

"So we can feel the cause, and you can see the effect. Huh. Time Lord's more than just a title then."

"You could say that."

We came around a bend in the tunnel, and…

"There it is. Once it stops glowing, all locks are broken. And then...well, then the real carnage begins. I'll try to contain its energy as long as I can."

"We won't be long. We'll have the beans soon. Then we can get the hell out of here."

"Slowing the device...it's going to require...all of the strength I have."

"...You're not coming with us, are you. When you said goodbye to Henry, you were...saying goodbye."

"...He knows I love him, doesn't he?"

"Regina, no! There's gotta be another way!"

"You were right, you know. Everything that's happening, it's my fault. I created this diamond. It's only fitting it takes my life."

"...What am I supposed to tell Henry."

"...Tell him that in the end, it wasn't too late for me to do the right thing."

"Regina, please…"

"Everyone looks at me as the Evil Queen. Including my son. Let me die as Regina."

"No."

Everyone turned.

"No one else will die today. I can help you stall it. We can't reverse it, but we can pause it. You depriving it of the magic it needs, Me diverting the force away from the anchors. That should buy us more than enough time to get the beans, and then get out."

"Rose…"

"No Witcher. Let me have this."

"All I was gonna say was...good luck. I have an idea on how to stop the thing completely; just hold on until I get back. Okay?"

"...Okay. Catch you on the Flip Side."

I smiled. "Catch you. Come along, sheriff. We have a certain scurvy scallywag to find."

"Regina, are you gonna be okay?"

"...I'll manage. Go. Find a way to stop this."

As we left, I glanced back. Both Rose and Regina had their hands over the diamond, energy crackling between their fingers. And my eyes caught a mouthed "Thank you"; from an Evil Queen, to a Bad Wolf.

Now, to make sure everything else played out in an acceptable manner.


"So, Rose is a Time Lord too."

"Time Lady. Some of us can afford the upgrade."

"Sounds about right. Any idea why Regina was so keen on having her come along?"

"Nope. Nuh-uh. No idea. Beyond the fact they both had similar experiences where something magical was dropped in their laps to escape the dreary world they lived in, and eventually saw justice done to the people that had wronged them? Haven't the foggiest."

"What Regina did to my parents wasn't justice."

"Wasn't it? She offered your mother so many other options, so many other ways of settling their differences. It was your mother who chose war. The only truly evil thing the Evil Queen has ever done was punishing the entire kingdom instead of just your parents."

"But Regina…"

"Yes. Regina. Not the Evil Queen. Not entirely. Remember that; it's gonna come up a lot."

The door to Granny's swung open. In waltzed Hook, Charming, and Jayne, carrying...a body.

Tamara's body.

"You was right boss. Meaning only to harm or seriously injure got us plenty."

I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

Charming held up a bag, stuffed full of magic beans. "These, for instance."

"...David, why did you decide to bring a dead body here, of all places?"

"Well, you see, it was like this. I shot her in the leg first, okay? She went down. Turned around to help these two numbskulls. Turned back, and she was off sprinting like a wild horse, with this weird glow coming off her."

Oh bollocks.

"Emptied the rest of my gun into her, she went down again. Waltzed over, and she started sparking like mad. Thought it best to stop that, so...I brained her. And I ain't getting paid enough to question self-healing chicks that set themselves on fire. Sorry boss."

I swallowed. "That's...alright, Jayne. I understand. I'll handle it from here. Set her down."

"Witcher, what are you…"

My fingers touched Tamara's temples, and down I went.

Flashes of conversation flashed by me.

"...we have faith in the sacredness of our cause…"

I dove deeper. If it was gonna be anywhere, it was gonna be…

There.

Walls, thick ones. Medieval. Unbreakable without shattering her mind in the process. And flying from every tower…

A very familiar cross.

I yanked back out of her mind.

A glint on her jacket caught my eye. A pin.

A pin with the exact same cross.

"Bollocks."

Tamara's eyes flew open.

"Double bollocks."

Her eyes met mine…

And she screamed.

She began stumbling backwards, screaming incoherently all the while, doing her best to make herself a smaller target. People scrambled out of her way as she backed out of Granny's back door. Naturally, I followed. As did practically everyone else of note.

Finally, she gave up, and curled in on herself on the pavement.

"Please…"

The first coherent word she had said yet.

"Please...please no...you already killed my family...I'll do anything...please just let me live."

"You know I can't do that, Tamara. You've hurt people; killed people. All in the name of a dead cause. I should know; I killed it myself."

"Please," she sobbed, "...have mercy."

"Mercy? Mercy like you showed Neal? Like you showed Regina? Like you showed all the others? Mercy?"

I drew the Colt.

"There is no mercy."

*BANG*

"...Everyone back in Granny's. I need a new plan."

They all stood staring at me.

I roared. "NOW!"

They moved.

"Jees, boss. What'd you do to make her that scared of you?"

"...I killed each and every single thing she ever held dear. And I laughed as I did it."

"...Alright then."

It was a new sensation; that many people, all looking at me with the exact same expression on their face:

Terror.

If this is how the Master felt all the time, I could understand him a little bit better.

"Did...did you have to do that?"

"Yes."

"...Why?"

"Because if I hadn't, if I had let her regain her composure, she would have tried to kill me. And called who knows who else to help her do it. Your town would have been wiped off the map, diamond or no diamond."

"...Okay."

"No! No! I will not let this stand! You have just murdered a woman right in front of everyone, and have shown no remorse about it. David, arrest him!"

"I thought I made it quite clear exactly where your standing was with me, Miss Snow. Apparently I did not. He can't arrest me; and you certainly can't order him to do it."

"Yes I can!"

"NO YOU CAN'T! THERE ARE MORE WORLDS OUT THERE THAN JUST YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE FOREST! THERE ARE ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS BURNING AT THIS VERY MOMENT! JUST STANDING HERE, I CAN FEEL TIME SHIVER AS THEY DIE! YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO THEM! A SPECK! A LEAF ON THE WIND! POOF, AND YOU'RE GONE! AND MY JOB IS TO ENSURE THAT SPECKS LIKE YOU AREN'T WIPED FROM EXISTENCE FOR YOUR ARROGANCE! THAT WOMAN? SHE WOULD HAVE SEEN EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN BURN, BASED ON NOTHING BUT PRINCIPLE! IF I COULD FEEL HATE, SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND HER WOULD BE THE ONES FOR IT! AND NOW, BECAUSE OF HER, I HAVE TO COME UP WITH AN ENTIRELY NEW PLAN THAT DOESN'T GIVE HER THE SATISFACTION OF DESTROYING THIS TOWN FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE! AM I CLEAR?"

Silence.

"Good."

"...What was the plan?"

"Oh, you know, take one of the beans, shove the diamond through it, have Rose and I stabilize the reaction. But of course they thought of that; open a portal, and it will rip right through any remaining anchors and set Storybrooke adrift in the Void. So if anyone has any ideas not involving that, I'm all ears. Come find me when you have one; I'm headed back to Rose and Regina. Maybe they'll have the sense to understand why mercy is a luxury."

"..We're coming with you."

"Fine. But I'm not putting up with any more self-righteous speeches. Understand?"

"We understand. Don't we?"

Snow dropped her head. "..Yes."

I turned to Hook. "What about you, handsome? Coming or staying?"

"...I believe it would be best if I returned to my ship. A captain should always go down with it."

"Agreed. Take care."

"And you as well."

Things were properly bollocksed up now. Even if I returned things back to the original ending, with Emma and Regina pulling all magic from the diamond, it still wouldn't give her the emotional opening to her parents, or provide the people here with a reason to follow her. Because it would be my plan. And I did not want to be stuck leading the proverbial Israelites through the desert.

All because I got greedy, and wanted to keep the diamond for myself. It was simple, really; throw the diamond through a portal directly back to where we came from, and then use one of the beans later to come back ourselves. Voila! Free emergency portal to Gallifrey.

Make your own Fate, indeed.

'Damn my foolish eyes," as the song goes.

Time to make like the Doctor, and fix it.