I own nothing. Least of all this.
1:34
Of all the things I expected to see when I rematerialized, one of the last was the sight of the Dark One Dagger in the hands of Neal.
"Really? You just...handed it over to him? I knew you were desperate, Gold, but really, come on."
"In case you hadn't noticed, oh all-knowing Time Lord, I had little to say in the matter."
"Huh? Oh, still stuck under that squid ink then? How's that feel? I've always wondered."
"...Cold. Which is what your body is going to be if you don't get me out of here."
Neal pointed the Dagger at me. "Nuh-uh. Not happening. Before anything else, you're gonna explain exactly how it is your name is now on this Dagger, and why you trusted my father of all people with it. And that's an order, Dark One."
I held up a finger. "Okay, first of all, I don't have to explain shish. Second of all, the reason I don't have to explain shish is that technically isn't my true name on the Dagger. I'm not the Dark One. I can't be. You have to have a soul to be the Dark One."
"...You're soulless?!"
"Well, yes, but actually, no. Your dear old dad thought it would be a good idea to latch his soul on to me when he discovered my current condition. Your father is still the Dark One; but now all that Dagger controls is his shadow. My shadow. Whatever. And my shadow has always been that of the Witcher. Savvy?"
"...No?"
A sigh. "Dagger no work on father, Dagger no work on my mind, Dagger work only on my shadow and body. Savvy now?"
"...Yes."
"Good, cause I wasn't dumbing that down any more."
With a snap of my fingers, a gag wrapped itself around Neal's mouth. No more orders from him. Another wave, and he was frozen in place. I calmly walked over, and plucked the Dagger from his hand.
"Now, because I'm both a gracious man, and because I know what has to happen next, I'm not gonna stop you taking Henry, and I'm not gonna release your father until the squid ink wears off. After that, you're on your own. But I will point out something to the both of you, while I have a captive audience: the prophecy you're both so worked up about? It says 'undoing'. Not 'death'. Undoing can mean a lot more than just dying. Remember that."
I released Neal. "Take Henry. Go. And if an opportunity comes up for you to be as self-sacrificial as your father, by all means, take it."
Neal ripped the gag from his mouth. "Go to Hell."
"Been there, mate. Didn't agree with me. Now get. Before I change my mind."
With one last look backwards, he strode off into the jungle, Henry hanging from his arms.
"...Tell me the truth."
"Which one?"
"Don't play games with me. You know as well as I do it's impossible for the Dark One to use the power of the Dagger, to act against the one who holds the Dagger. So, tell me Time Lord, are all of you magical, or am I just lucky enough for you to be the one that crossed my path."
"Not lucky, I would say. Fated, perhaps. She seems to like things like this. Well, Her, and...others. So, to answer your question, as far as I know, I'm the only Time Lord blessed or cursed with magic. Whichever you prefer."
"...I see. Then, perhaps, you do really have a higher power interested in you after all. To lose your soul, but gain remarkable power, seems reminiscent of another story. One I know well."
"Perhaps. Perhaps in time, I may turn out like you as well."
"I sincerely hope not. For a man without a soul, you seem to be much more whole than I am."
"I'd offer a rebuttal to that, but all I'll say instead is 'Spoilers'."
"...I see."
The glow around Gold's body slowly faded, leaving him free once more. "I take it there's a very good reason you just let my son stroll off into the jungle with the very object of my search. But if you act in such a manner without telling me, again, then I can assure you, things will not go well for you."
I held up my hands. "Believe me, I have absolutely no more intentions of interfering. I've been here with my compadres as long as necessary. As soon as they show up, I'll be out of your hair for good. Speaking of which…"
I leaned down, and cut away Gold's shadow from my feet. As soon as I did, the name on the Dagger reverted back to what it had been before: Rumpelstiltskin. I handed the Dagger to the shadow.
"Take it. Hide it. Where no one can ever find it. Not even him." I pointed to Gold.
The shadow nodded in understanding and vanished, along with the Dagger.
"Good. Now, that's done, and things are back to what they should be. I'll leave you to what comes after now. Call if you need me, but don't count on my assistance. I've got what I came for."
"And there it is again. The Time Lord arrogance. The belief that all others' concerns are below your own. How self-righteous of you."
I grabbed Gold and hoisted him up by his coat collar. "Listen you great big bag of roosters, I am trying my very best to not screw up this timeline beyond all recognition, at the same time I'm keeping the Templars from doing the same. I refuse to do more than what is absolutely necessary, but that doesn't mean I'll do nothing at all. Or have you forgotten who told you exactly where your grandson had ended up? Don't mistake my deliberate calculation for apathy."
I slowly let him drop to the ground. "I'm going to stand guard. You do what we both know you're planning to do, and everything will turn out fine. Savvy?"
"…I savvy."
"Right. Get to it then."
He sat, and closed his eyes. Of course, I knew trying to see the future here wouldn't work, but it wasn't my job to tell him that. That was…
"You can't see the future here. It's impossible to see the future in a place where Time stands still. Well, except for certain individuals."
…Pan's job.
I made a rather exaggerated bow. "I try."
"I may not be able to see the future, but I can certainly make one happen."
Pan scoffed. "Was that a threat? And here I made you your favorite breakfast…eggs in a basket. I thought you could use it. You looked a little down in the dumps. Sorry Time Lord, looks like we're out of fish fingers and custard."
"Sorry to disillusion you, but very few Time Lords were blessed with the taste buds for that particular dish. I appreciate the sentiment though."
"Yes. Sentiment." He turned back to face Gold. "Let's do a rundown of what sentiment's gotten you, Rumple. You lost your son, Neal. Again. And Henry's unattainable because…well, you'd have to go through me, and we both know you can't. You still like the yolk runny, don't you?"
"What do you want?"
"Well, if you won't eat, then I will." He took a bite out of the still-warm breakfast. "I'm just trying to point out the silver lining of your cloudy life."
A quick swipe of my hand, and a bite of the second egg-basket went down my own hatch. Hmm. Not bad. Little less solid than I liked.
"That by killing you, all our troubles end?"
"We both know that's not going to happen, because the only way for you to do that is for you to die, too. You can go. Leave the island."
"And abandon my son? And Henry? I don't think so."
"…Look, even if you did save them…which you won't…what would be the point? They'll never forgive you for all the horrible things you've done."
"You don't know that."
"Have you forgiven your father?"
Silence from Gold.
"…You see my point? Back to that silver lining…you have a nice girl waiting for you back in Storybrooke. Belle, is it? Stop this foolishness, and go back to her. Make a new start. She looks fertile…maybe a new child? You and I both know that's the only future for you…assuming you want to live. Enjoy the eggs, both of you."
And with that, he sauntered back off into the forest, from whence he came.
"…The sad thing is, if his shadow was still around to mess with my mind, that tactic might actually have worked."
I swallowed the last bit of egg. "Naaaaah. Never would have happened."
"Was he right though? Is that truly the only future for me?"
"Look, Gold, while I can't tell you exactly what's going to happen, I can assure you of this much: what's coming, is a fixed point in Time. How this ends is how it was always meant to end. And neither one of Pan's futures is it."
"You didn't say whether or not I'd survive said fixed point."
I held a finger up to my lips. "Spoilers."
"Of course. Still, it would have been nice to know whether I'll die, or merely be undone."
"That's what they all say, mate."
It was of course at that moment that three very familiar faces decided to come trampling out of the undergrowth and practically crash into us.
"I have been camping with the Charmings for a week and getting nowhere. If we're gonna get Henry, I need you. I need Rumpelstiltskin."
"Well the problem, dearie, is Rumpelstiltskin can only stop Pan with his own undoing."
"You're not gonna be undone by anyone's hands but my own."
I coughed and covered my mouth. "Probably could have phrased that a little bit better."
Rose smiled at that. Jayne, of course merely stood there looking confused.
Regina kept right on with her speech. "We're the two most powerful practitioners of magic who have ever lived."
I coughed again. "In the Enchanted Forest, maybe."
"The Evil Queen and the Dark One joining forces? I'd say we can find another way to handle one smug teenager."
I whispered to Rose. "Anyone else getting flashbacks involving Tom Riddle, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Harry Potter?"
She snorted and shot me a look of pure exasperation. Ah, it was good to have her back.
"You've never faced him. I have. And I know what killing him requires. And that is…my demise."
"Well, as much as I want to, maybe we don't have to kill him. If that's the case then…maybe we can find another way…something to contain him, some other Fate."
"…A Fate worse than Death."
"Now we're talking. There's my malevolent imp. Is there a spell you know? Something we can enact?"
"I'm serious, I'm getting heavy Order of the Phoenix vibes here."
They ignored me. "…No. But back in my shop, I might have just the thing."
"Well why didn't you bring it with you in the first place?!"
"Because I came here to kill him and die in the process!"
"Well, I could have told you that wasn't going to happen. You forget, dearie. I've known you a long time. I know all about your survival instincts."
"Yeah, well, they just kicked in."
Good. So, now, we just need a change of plans. We need to get back to your shop, pick up this magical item, and then all of our problems are solved."
"Crossing realms? Is that all?"
"Yes. That's all."
"I don't suppose you happen to have one of those beans Charming is hauling around, do you?"
"You know as well as I do portals only work on Neverland if Pan allows it. And he certainly doesn't want any of us leaving anytime soon."
Well, there was Plan A up in smoke. Guess we were gonna have to go with Plan B.
Regina smiled. "I have a better idea."
"If you think summoning a giant squid is the answer, I already tried that."
"Oh, you've had fun haven't you! I have no intention of ordering calamari."
Regina bent down, and whispered into the shell.
Jayne made what he thought was a subtle comment. "I suppose this all makes some sort of sense to whatever whacked up mind you're running around with?"
I smiled. "Absolutely none whatsoever. Everyone's mad here; that's just how magic is."
A certain mermaid's head popped up above the water.
"Case in point."
"Is that…"
Regina smirked. "Hello Ariel. Long time."
"Yepppppp."
"Its true mermaids can travel across realms. But they can't be trusted."
"This one can. We have history together."
"Well, that would explain the distasteful look on her face."
"And now she's going to help us."
Vigorous shaking from Ariel's head.
"Oh, your voice."
And for the first time in who knows how long, Ariel spoke. "Why would I help you?"
"Because I can give you what you want. I can give you legs, Ariel, and this time, control over them. But more importantly, I can give you what you need most."
"…What?"
"The place I'm sending you…among its residents…is your Prince Eric."
A whisper from Rose. "This place is like a Who's Who of fairytales."
"…What's the name of this place?"
"…Storybrooke."
Regina's goodbye to Rose was short and sweet. At least, I think it was. I didn't catch much of it. I was a bit busy having Jayne catch me up on what had happened since we parted ways.
"It worked?"
"Pretty as you please, boss. I solemnly swear'm up ta no good, and boom. Instant map. Led us right into a trap, but I 'spected that. Few less Lost Boys for the rest to deal with now."
"Good man. Everything else happen like I said it would?"
"Yep. And a bit more you left out. You didn't say nothin' 'bout revealin' our darkest secrets."
"Ah. Sorry. Forgot about that."
"Convenient. Still, weren't too bad. For me anyways. For Rose…I couldn't say."
It was like ice on my spine. "…What happened."
"Not for me to say. You'll have to ask her. Later."
I nodded. Yes, I would.
Rose and Regina finally parted ways with a hug. That was unexpected. But nice. They both needed it.
Regina walked off back into the forest in the direction of the shore, where Gold was waiting. And Rose came slowly back to where we were waiting with the Black Diamond.
"Are you sure this will work?"
I scratched the back of my head with the Colt. "No. But the beans won't work here, and if we don't end up back where we started, we'll probably be able to use them to get where we want to go. So, if we're all ready…"
A single nod from the both of them.
"Right. Pull!"
I tossed the Diamond up, and…
*BANG*
"And way down we go!"
