I own nothing. Least of all this.
1:50
Things had been relatively simple to clean up. That spell Regina had used once on a mermaid to turn it to wood was a great body-preserver. It also made it infinitely easier to maneuver said bodies without getting even more blood everywhere.
I really hated to leave the bodies there, but after all wizards were an unimaginative lot. I merely switched which body went to which house, and leaned them up in the corner. The odds of anyone coming by to visit either one and recognizing the other on sight were slim, especially considering the expressions their faces were now twisted in. With any luck, if they were discovered at all, they would merely be mistaken for a wooden sculpture in very poor taste.
Time to head back to the bunker; well, almost. First, fish and chips.
One dinner later…
"And what exactly are you expecting to happen?"
"Honestly Cas? I expect to be left waiting for at least several hours. Ten seconds for you should be dilated exponentially inside the room; I'm just the one who can best afford the time loss. All this zipping around isn't all its cracked up to be. I plan to take a nice long nap in the meanwhile."
"And if the room should, as you put it, 'Go Belgium' with you inside it…"
"Well then that'll be for me to worry about. But it won't happen. Go on, get out of here. I've got a bed (thanks for that, by the way), I've got a pillow, I've even got a stuffed…whatever, courtesy of Dudley."
"Hoot."
"Right, and Hedwig. Can't forget you, can we girl?"
"Hoot-hoot."
"True, we can't exactly turn off the light, but we'll make it work."
Cas took one last look from the doorway. "If you're sure…see you in a while, I guess."
"Catch you."
He closed the door. I sat down on the bed, threw my feet up, and had just put my hands up behind my head when…
The door creaked open.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
"Witcher? Its' been ten seconds…are you awake?"
"Fraid so, Cas. Its been ten seconds for me too."
"…What."
"Search me. Actually, don't. You won't find the answer there either, 'cause I don't have one."
"…How?"
"…I don't know, but I intend to find out."
A leap off of the bed, a stride to the door, and a finger up behind my ear to activate my visor.
"Welp…looks like we're not gonna have to worry about Belgium."
"And why is that?"
"There's a field of quantum uncertainty around the room. I forgot to take into account the sand in those Time Turners was different than my usual method of time travel, in that it tends to try and create paradoxes, rather than avoid them."
"I suppose that means something important."
"It means the passage of time in this room is linked to observation by someone on the outside. I walk in, shut the door, wait a certain amount of time, walk back out, no time will have passed for those on the outside. But, if I walk in, someone else shuts the door, then reopens it to let me out, the exact same amount of time will have passed for us both. Useful, but now its even worse of an idea to brew potions in here. On the upside, if we use it for magical training, it won't throw off either your or Harry's sense of time if someone comes to get us for lunch."
"Will it work as a long-term storage room?"
"…It should. Time still seems to halt for inanimate objects no matter where the observer is. I'll let you know…right after I finish my nap."
"You're still going to try to sleep?"
"Cas, you would not believe the amount of work I have planned for tonight. I'll take whatever sleep I can get. Don't wake me up; I'll be out in a jiffy."
"…Very well."
I called backwards as he left. "And don't forget to shut the door!"
Blimey, this whole "floof all the way to London and then back again every night" schtick was getting old. Good thing I only had to do it until the end of the week. Then it would be nothing but train and review, train and review, train and review with Harry and Cas. If I was going to be teaching an important subject such as the History of Magic, I needed to practically sound like I had been there. Because I knew for a fact future me had; and knowing my luck, I was probably going to need all the foreknowledge I could get.
Time to test a theory: I smoked to the nice, dark corner behind the Cauldron, and crouched. Within a few seconds, I shifted sideways in reality and disappeared from sight. I took a deep breath, and smoked again.
Yes! Smoking in the Ministry while invisible rendered the smoke itself invisible as well! That was a relief; I really hadn't wanted to put plan B into effect. I stood and let my invisibility drop, then moved upstairs, heading for the Atrium. Surprisingly, there was relatively light security. I suppose they figured everything was over now, what with only the one target strung up, as well as the murderer's supposed entrance found.
Amateurs.
The illusion of Auror robes was easy enough to conjure; it wouldn't fool Mad-Eye, but it would do for what I had in mind. Hoods were so dreadfully useful for hiding one's face. The ability to smoke into the Ministry unnoticed truly was a blessing. The first layer of guards, the ones just past the entrance, were the only ones checking for identification. And even then, only for those coming in. Not a single one looked as if they would ever suspect a fellow officer coming from presumably lower in the Ministry. Moody would have been pissed at the lot of them.
I glanced around the Atrium, looking for the most bored looking, and most unnoticed Auror I could see. There, just peeking around a corner. Dawlish, reading the special edition of the Daily Prophet. He was probably mad about the aspersions Skeeter had cast towards the ability of his whole department, to say nothing of how his was one of the few names listed. Tough. He was about to be in it up to his neck.
I invisibly crept up to where he sat, positioning him between me and any witnesses, and grabbed. I really regretted this; I truly did. But having the heart of a Senior Auror in my literal back pocket was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Particularly if things were to go sour at any point in my dealings with the Ministry.
I whispered as quietly as I could. "You will not cry out for help. You will not move from where you are. In thirty seconds, you will stand, and leave. You are to act in the most natural way possible. If anyone asks why you are leaving early, you are to tell them that Scrimgeour has sent someone to replace you. Nod if you understand."
He did so.
"Good. Once you have left the Atrium, you will forget any of this ever happened. Oh, and leave your paper behind. I wish to read it."
Half-a-moment later, he rose, and walked away, heading straight for the exit. A Junior Auror called out as he passed.
"Oi! Dawlish! Tired of our company already?"
"Scrimgeour sent a grunt to take the rest of my shift."
"He clear it with Bones?"
An order to the heart. "Smile, and make a witty reply."
Dawlish forced a grin. "You know Scrim, he'd read the vows from the official manual aloud at his own wedding for fear of slighting procedure."
"Ha! True enough! Take care of yourself, John!
I made a slight sigh of relief, and put the heart in my coat pocket.
Dawlish's chair was in a relatively good corner; unnoticeable to practically any but the most observant of passers-by. Hopefully, that would hold true to any observation spells that had been placed since I was last here. Just as a precaution, I scooted the seat as far back into the darkness as I could.
Then I settled down in to wait. Oooo, they included a crossword in the paper! Even better, it was one of all the information from the previous edition! Fun, fun, fun.
That crossword took far too long to complete…of course, that was with a whole lot of exaggerated movement to keep my invisibility from accidentally activating. After all, it wouldn't do to have a figure fading in and out of reality while writing the word "Informant'", now would it?
Still, the waiting had paid off. Every other single person even remotely official looking was long gone. The Atrium, even the Ministry itself, stood silent. I finally allowed the shift to occur, and once more faded away. I briefly wondered if the effect looked anything like the Cheshire Cat to an observer. Ah, well. I'd have to check later. No rest for the wicked, after all. I stood, and smoked to Yaxley's house.
I grabbed Edgecombe's body, un-wood-ified it, crouched down, and smoked back to the Atrium. String her up, back to the corner, repeat the process for Yaxley. Simple, right? Not.
It was a bit more troublesome to hang Edgecombe and Yaxley than I had thought it would be. I couldn't use the center of the display, for obvious reasons. Two corpses hanging on the same spire was just tacky. On top of that, I had to arrange the signs around their necks so as not to cover or shadow the Dark Marks that I had taken special care to call attention to.
All in all, it took me an hour over double the amount of time it had with Umbridge. At least the end effect was nice. I had ended up twisting their heads completely around to face backwards, and then shaved them. I had previously taken pictures of the victims' faces, and printed them out back at the bunker. They had been cut out, and taped to the back of the now-hairless heads. I had been tempted to shrink them, but had simply run out of time. And I wasn't exactly sure how I would have fixed them if they hadn't turned out well.
Enough was enough. There were probably at least some new surveillance spells in place; hence why I had refrained from using anything but wandless magic while invisible. I still didn't trust myself with a wand, and the chances of tracing a spell to my wand were still too high for my tastes. It would have taken me considerably less time if I had done most of the work manually, but then my invisibility would have been compromised. Magic and small movements, fine. Anything big like moving a body, very not good.
I took one last look at my work, and then smoked away for the last time.
Cas looked as if he was about to keel over of sleep deprivation. "…Witcher…why are you cooking…at 4 am?"
"Hedwig wanted dinner, Kaa wanted a snack, and I wanted coffee. So, bacon, sausage links, and eggs, voila. Why do you look like you went three rounds with a hellhound?"
"Lynch. Called in the middle of the night, looking for you. Said he had a lead."
"And?"
"And I wrote it down on this piece of paper, went back to bed, and tried to get some more sleep. Obviously, that didn't work."
"Sorry about that. Here, trade you."
I swapped the pot of coffee in my hand for the note, and began to read.
"…Seriously? Roman Lucas? That's the name he's living under? Are wizards really this unimaginative of a lot when it comes to naming things?"
"It gets worse. Look where he's living now."
"…Stillwater, Minnesota. Why does that sound familiar?"
"Nope. Nuh uh. Not going in."
Jody crossed her arms. "Witcher, it's her town. She deserves to know what's been living under her nose."
"Maybe, but she for sure doesn't need to hear it from me. I've had enough holy water thrown in my face and silver stabbed in my arm, thank you very much."
Cas growled. "Witcher…"
"Alright, alright! Fine! But for the record, this is still a bad idea."
I raised my hand, and knocked on the door in front of me. Directly under the label that clearly read:
Donna Hanscum, Sheriff.
"OWWWWW! Ma nose!"
Jody and Cas each were wrapped around one of Donna's arms. "Donna, it's fine! He's fine!"
"You let me get to my stuff right now feathers, and we'll see how fine he is!"
Jody had one arm around Donna's neck by now. "Donna it's not Dean!"
"Yeah, no kidding!"
"He's not a ghoul, not a revenant, not a shifter…"
I held my poor nose. "Ad obvosly dot a ghost…"
"Donna, he's from another world!"
That seemed to get through. Donna stopped struggling. "Seriously?"
Exasperation crept into Cas' voice. "Yes, Donna. He's a traveler between worlds. The multi-dimensional version of a hunter."
"Dank you for da high praise, Cas."
"Don't mention it."
"…You're that guy, aren't you? The one that kicked that humongous hornet's nest over in the old country?"
"Dou could say dat."
"Oh, I'm so sorry! Let me getcha some ice for that!"
I waved her off. "It's fine. There…already better."
"If you're sure…Well! Jody told me she'd be coming back soon; she just didn't mention she'd be bringing either of you along! C'mere, Cas you son of a gun!"
Cas awkwardly accepted the hug. "Thank you, Donna."
"Aaaand one for you for the sock in the schnozzle."
"…Thank you, Donna."
"So! What brings you two up to my neck of the woods?"
Cas looked my way. "Witcher…it's your hunt…"
"Oooo! A hunt! What kind of monster we looking for?"
I held up a finger. "Not looking. Found. Ish. We know he's in town; just not exactly where in town he is. And we need him alive."
"And why's that then?"
Cas interrupted. "He has information. Contacts. And we need someone with his…talents for some frankly unpleasant business."
"How unpleasant we talking?"
I crossed my arms. "Murders. Coups. Tests for cures for magical werewolves."
"A were? Here? And I didn't notice?"
A shrug from me. "He does what he can to avoid people wherever possible. And he possesses enough skill with magic to make it happen."
"Soooo…. What's the name of this here werewolf?"
"His real name is Remus Lupin, but the one he's been hiding under is…Roman Lucas."
"…You mean old Luke that works down at the garage?"
My eyes met Cas'. "Well…that was easier than I expected."
Donna had volunteered to be the first in, seeing as how Lupin would probably react the best to a familiar face. Jody had accompanied her.
"Hiya Luke! How's things!"
Through the crack in the back entrance, I could just see Lupin freeze as Donna addressed him. He quickly unfroze, and went back to washing his hands. "…Hello, Sheriff. What brings you here today? Truck radiator leaking again?"
"Nah, you fixed that up right the last time! Holding together like a champ! Just came down here cause my friend Jody was looking for you, actually. To offer you a job, in fact."
Lupin slowly dried his hands. "Really? And does this…job offer…explain why there are two well-armed individuals hiding and prepared to act as your backup?"
Bollocks. Werewolf sense of smell. I'd forgotten about that.
"What? Pfffff…there's no…"
Jody put her hand on Donna's shoulder. "It's okay, Donna. Cas, Witcher you can come on out."
Cas rose slowly from behind the stripped-down car. "We apologize for the subterfuge, Mr. Lupin."
I ducked under the door and came up on the other side. "But we weren't quite sure how you'd react."
Jody held up her other hand in a placating gesture. "That being said, we really do have a job offer for you."
"What? Like passing on any information on werewolves that move in around here? I already do that; in case you hadn't noticed."
Donna crossed her arms. "Yeah, pretty easy to put together once these fellas told me why you were laying low here. You just want to be left alone, don't you?"
"…Yes."
Time to bring down the hammer. "Shame. Harry was so looking forward to seeing his Uncle Moony. Guess we'll have to tell him you weren't interested."
Lupin had straightened at the name-drop. "What have you done to Harry?" he practically hissed.
I crossed my arms as well. "A sight more than you ever did, that's for sure. Really, leaving him all alone in the world, betraying the trust James Potter placed in you, it's a wonder Harry ever wanted to see you again."
"I was…"
"A self-pitying, self-righteous, self-absorbed coward of a werewolf. Don't worry; you still are."
"…Dumbledore said…"
"No one here gives a crap what Dumbledore said. All Dumbledore has ever done for Harry has been horrible. Keeping him from going to the people James and Lily willed to look after him, dumping him with his abusive whale of a Muggle uncle that did the best to beat the magic out of him, hiding from him every single bit of his heritage, including his dad's cloak, stealing from his family vaults, the list goes on and on. No one here holds any respect or love for the great Albus Bloody Dumbledore."
"Dumbledore would never…"
"Dumbledore would always. After all, he deliberately let a known werewolf attend all the way through Hogwarts just to get him in his debt and act as his personal representative to the magical monsters of England. Or can you name a single other 'creature' that's attended Hogwarts since then?"
Lupin had his mouth half-way open when that last remark registered. I've never seen a look of horror cross someone's face that fast, only to be replaced with a look of resignation.
"The way I see it, you have two options. We won't kill you in either one, well, at least on purpose. The first is, we take you somewhere of your own free will that you will never learn how to find again, where you will be able to meet Harry. We'll do this, in return for two favors, the first of which of which will be testing a cure for lycanthropy."
"…And the second?"
"Depends on the success of the first. Option two; you resist, and try running to Dumbledore to tell him where his precious savior has ended up. This version ends with you incapacitated, and forcefully tested for the afore mentioned cure. And I can assure you, that you will never see Harry again if you take that option."
"You really think you can take a werewolf who's a wizard?"
"You have a nose. Use it. It'll tell you just how out of your league you are."
Slowly, Lupin lifted his nose in the air, and began to sniff. Pure, unadulterated terror began to grow on his face as he looked back and forth from me to Castiel. "Lightning…fire…ice…rage…death…what are you?"
I pointed to Cas. "He is an angel. The real deal. And I…I am…the Witcher. Now, will it be option one, or option two?"
Lupin had slumped down on the floor, still looking fearfully back and forth. "…Option one…" he whispered.
"Good choice. Now, where do you keep your wand?"
"…Toolbox…"
Cas relaxed. "I'll get it."
I turned towards the ladies. "Thank you for your assistance, Sheriff Hanscum."
"Oh, you betcha! Always happy to help!"
"Jody, you coming or staying?"
"Well, seeing as how my car's still back at the bunker, I think it's be best if I came along."
I nodded. "Gotcha."
Cas reemerged, holding a thin stick of wood. "Got it."
"Fantastic. Catch you on the Flip Side, Sheriff."
I was wrapped in a warm hug. "None of that, now. It's Donna."
"…Donna then."
She stepped back. "Ya'll take care now, you hear?"
"Of course. Oh, and you might want to pay close attention to this next bit."
I grinned, and waved my hands.
The look on Donna's face as everyone but me disappeared in smoke was priceless. I laughed, and whirled away myself.
