Hello again, Ness,
I wouldn't say I've mastered my powers. Truth be told, I've got other issues on my mind - such as my girlfriend, we had a row. If we ever speak in person, and if I've not accidentally severed our relationship, I'll have to introduce you to her. She's lovely, she's been the only constant in my life ever since I moved here a couple of years ago.
Anyway, a Future Human? No, I have not heard of that, what is it? Is it a Ryu thing? Something he told you? It sounds ominous, whatever it is.
I've heard of the powerful stones. They're mentioned in The Mystery of Magic by Wiz. Ard, aren't they? Ryu gave me a copy when he told me about my powers - did he do the same for you? I don't know much about the whole thing, though. I think this is all just as new to me as it is to you.
My theory is that on the whole, these powers that we have are not supposed to be our sole focus, rather they're an add-on to what we already can do, if that makes sense. As if they're just supposed to supplement our wits and our agility, say, in battle. The powers alone wouldn't allow you to win a fight.
Yes, I'm a student. And I'm not Bowser either - that comment made me laugh out loud in public, so thanks a lot for that!
My favourite book is a bit of a cheat as it's technically multiple books, but it's Aesop's Fables. I've always liked stories that have a moral to them. You?
~ 910
…
Hey!
You're a fast writer - I only delivered that last letter an hour ago!
Sorry to hear about your girlfriend. But if she is as amazing as you say, then hopefully everything will be resolved between you two. If not, I'm fairly sure Rosalina is single.
I kid. I'd love to meet her! I can introduce you to Lucas as well. You'd be lucky to get him to speak though, he's pretty shy. But I reckon you'd get on.
Don't worry about the Future Human thing. Just something Lucas saw in a book.
Interesting! Do you think the stones are real? And the Time Stone? Imagine how cool it would be to go back in time! Ryu told Lucas and I a lot about the stones, they seem pretty important. For getting rid of Porky, at least;
See, Ryu left us a sort of quest, Lucas and I, and a couple of other friends too. Porky's bad news, I'm sure you know that already, and we've got to get rid of him. I think your points about the powers apply to our situation - that was quite profound, actually. If we were talking in person, I'd be making that 'Hmm!' noise that people do when they feel intellectually inferior.
Ha! So it was you laughing in the hall? I know who you are now! I'm kidding again. I have no idea. Maybe I could have a clue? Pretty please?
My favourite book is the one you mentioned - the Mystery of Magic. It's been quite fun discovering the various ways I can blow things up.
What part of Onett did you grow up in?
~ Ness
…
Hey, Ness!
Not to sound weird, but I saw you and Lucas at dinner, throwing peas at each other. Great to see you get on so well! You looked right at me, as well - I don't think you noticed though.
My girlfriend and I are back together! It was a small quarrel, over spaghetti bolognaise of all things, but we've settled that difference, and everything is back to smooth sailing. And thanks AGAIN for making me laugh, this time during my detention with Bowser (that's where I'm writing this letter. I don't think he can read, so he thinks I'm just doing lines…)
I'd love to meet Lucas too! Perhaps a double date sometime?
I'm kidding. My girlfriend thinks you two are more than friends. I'm not so sure (but then again, nothing wrong if you are! Where I'm from, people aren't so concerned about that sort of thing.)
You know, I do believe in the stones. If magic is real, why not the stones? Agreed! Imagine going back, and being able to fix every mistake you ever made? It'd be heavenly.
Speaking of magic, I forgot to ask, what did you think of what happened to Mega Man in the hall? That purple glow, that noise, it certainly seemed magical. I noticed Professor Byleth taking you into his office soon after, did he tell you what was going on? I hope he's alright. I've always liked Mega Man.
A quest? That's the stuff of fairytales. When's your biography being written? You'll be a hero through the ages! Seriously though, good luck. That sounds pretty weird. Is Porky doing worse things than being a mean headmaster then? I wouldn't be surprised. There are all the rumours about him owning brothels, and child trafficking down the river.
I grew up in the farmlands, I moved out pretty early on though. Honestly, I don't remember much about my childhood, it's a little blurry. My girlfriend thinks I must've hit my head at some point, because my memory's always been awful.
And a clue? Well, I've already been leaving one in every letter… isn't that enough? :)
~ 910
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~~o00o~~
Chapter 54 - The Heist
(Ness)
~~o00o~~
.
.
.
I'd almost forgotten how tiring school was.
What with everyone being sad, trying to save the world, and trying to deal with Lucas's mysterious new brother, I thought lessons would be a breeze. But sitting in Assembly, at 7 AM on a Monday, I want nothing more than to die.
I wonder vaguely if the mysterious letter sender can see me now. I've agonised over who it could be for hours now… A clue? I've already been leaving one in every letter…
I jolt back to attention, as Porky's massive form takes the stage.
"Good morning everyone!" He cackles, fruitily. "Great to see you're all looking wide awake!"
Six hundred zombie-like students stare back at him.
"I don't have much news! Except, more slanderous graffiti has appeared… therefore more privileges are being revoked!"
There's a muted groan. I notice Rosalina's eyes flickering in my direction.
"Accessing the hospital ward is now prohibited!"
That wakes everyone up.
"No!" Villager stands, outraged, and he's not the only one. "What about Mega Man?!"
"He has been transferred elsewhere," Porky replies smoothly. "And, sit down. You're spoiling my line of vision."
"What if someone gets sick?" Link exclaims.
"They shall grin and bear it."
"That's barbaric!"
Porky snarls. "Then I'm sure our resident graffiti artist will come forward at once! When they do, all privileges will return. Is that understood?"
More grumbling breaks out.
"IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!"
"Yes, sir…"
"Good." Porky claps his meaty hands. "That is all. If you hear or see anything suspicious, don't hesitate to come to me! Believe me when I tell you, anyone who catches this villain will be rewarded! Now, off you go, go to breakfast, you horrible lot. Go on!"
…
Lucas finds me in the corridor a while later, having missed the assembly to check on Saul, looking as if he hasn't slept for a thousand years.
I straighten his hair with a grin. "'Morning, sunshine."
"Breakfast," Lucas moans sleepily, stumbling towards the canteen.
A bowl of cereal later, and my paramour at least looks somewhat alive. Red stumbles out of the kitchen, having been part of the cooking team for the morning, and there's a bit of laughter as he trips on a chair leg, and goes sprawling to the floor.
"Red!" Toon Link exclaims, hurrying over. There are titters from around. "You okay?"
"Yes," Red grumbles, flipping the bird to a snorting Link. "I am alright."
"How was cooking?" Pit asks.
"A disaster. Bayonetta burnt all the toast. It was most disappointing."
I study his exhausted face. "Did you sleep well, at least?"
"No," Red complains, sitting down. "In fact, I was woken up by a loud noise in the hallway!"
Lucas and I exchange a glance of confusion. "A loud noise?"
"Yes," Red grumbles. "Like someone running… and then a shout of alarm, as if somebody had fallen over. But when I went outside to check, there was nothing there!"
Lucas and I exchange another glance. We're both thinking the same thing.
Saul.
…
"Did you leave your room last night?" Lucas accuses, looking harshly down at his supposed older brother.
Saul stares flatly up at us. "I don't know what you mean."
I look disapprovingly down at him. "Someone was in the hall last night. They crashed into the wall, and woke up our friend. What were you doing?"
The dark-haired boy sighs. "I wasn't in the hall. I was asleep."
"If you're up to something," Lucas glowers. "We will put a stop to it, okay?"
Saul hauls himself out of bed, rolling his eyes. He breaks into an exasperated grin, almost as if he's enjoying this stand-off. "Okay, little brother."
The clocktower chimes for lessons.
Lucas turns on his heel. "I'm watching you."
…
"How can that thing be related to you?" I protest as we walk into Art. Surely Saul's proof was faulty - he is nothing like Lucas, and nothing like Claus. This man is a fraud.
"I don't know," Lucas sighs, heavily. I sneak a comforting arm around him.
"Good morning!" Shulk exclaims, as soon as we've entered his classroom. Today he wears a bright smile, though his hair seems to have taken on a greyish tinge since we last saw him, and purple bags hang heavy under his eyes. "Wonderful to see you all! Wonderful to teach some art, after this tumultuous time… Ah, what with all this conflict, I've hardly had time to put brush to canvas! I'm swarming with ideas, let me tell you, such as-"
Someone clears their throat.
"-And on with the lesson!" Skull says, breezily. "Continuing with using the newspapers to create politically-charged-but-not-too-politically-charged-so-as-to-avoid-jailtime artworks! I've got a fat stack of papers from the weekend there… some terrible business indeed within, but a vida é assim! Get started!"
There's a rush to the stack of papers. I dread to imagine what horrors will have unfolded today. But, before I can get there, a boy gives a cry of alarm: "Headmaster Hand's been arrested!"
"What?!"
"Listen - 'Headmaster Hand has been formally arrested on grounds of connections to the terror attack on the Onett High Court. Whilst Everdred remains as the prime culprit, it is suspected that Headmaster Hand may have given financial assistance to Onett Power, with the hopes that the attack would free him of his trial. As such, he and three associates have been sentenced to life in Onett County Jail.' It's crazy!"
"At least he survived the explosion," Lucas says, but few people hear him, too busy trying to find the article for themselves. I take the newspaper from the boy, who I vaguely recognise as Mii, and scour the page for other headlines.
Everdred Survives? Suicide bomber may have escaped - see more on page 4…
I quickly turn.
An Ever-dreaded Everdred Evasion…
By this point, we all know of the deeply heart-wrenching tragedy that occurred on Friday. However, following recent forensic evidence of the crime scene, it appears that Everdred, the culprit, may have escaped.
"There was no sign of his body," chief scientist Maxwell Labs stated. "We thought it might've exploded, obviously, but there are no remnants at all…"
This revelation suggests that Everdred may still be on the run. Remember, if you see anything that doesn't look right, report it to the Onett Police Station at your earliest convenience.
Lucas swears quietly under his breath.
By the end of the lesson, neither of us have made any progress on our paintings. Both Lucas and I seem to share the same feeling: painting is far too mundane, after all we've seen. Usually, it would be a catharsis, but I can't summon the mind to express myself. At least, not in this manner.
"Minimalism?" Shulk jests, upon seeing our canvases, before dropping his voice down. "Don't worry. Professor Byleth told me that you might be preoccupied…" He taps a finger on his nose, before speeding off into the store cupboard.
Lucas sighs. I sigh too, not quite in unison.
"People are starting to catch on," I say, lightly probing him.
"Yeah," Lucas mutters. "I don't like it much."
"Fame favours the fearless..."
"The fearless end up dead."
Lucas kicks at the ground as we walk to our next lesson: Double Business, with the combined forces of Professor Mario and Professor Waluigi.
"Do you really think we'll become famous after this?" I ask.
Lucas shrugs. "Depends on if we win or not. And if we're lucky, we might manage to make more than the local newspaper."
"We could become myths… We could become legends…" My mind lilts, a little bit giddy. I've always liked the idea of making my little mark on history.
Lucas stares at me, bewildered. "But what would you want that for?"
"It'd be cool," I say defensively, turning a corner. I make out Professor Waluigi's goblin-esque voice sneering in the distance. "Wouldn't you want to be remembered for something?"
"Yeah, but you wouldn't even be alive to see it happen..."
I sigh. "Always the cynic."
"WAAAAAAAH!" A raucous bellow practically throws us off our feet. "WAAAALUIGI TIME!"
"Good lord," Toon Link grins, mysteriously appearing at our side. "He's like Wario, on crack cocaine."
"WAAAAAAAA-"
Mario, the red-capped man, emerges sternly from the doorway. "Wa-luigi! We-a do not-a shout at the kids!"
"-luigi." Waluigi's battle cry feebly diminishes.
Professor Mario waves impatiently at us. "Well! What-a are you waving for? Come on-a inside!"
Since Professor Wario's departure, it appears that the new Professors have decided to redecorate the classroom. However, it becomes starkly clear that they could not have agreed less on the design choices: Brick red clashes horribly with a plum hue, lines of coloured paints dripping all over one another. Where once all of Professor Wario's business principals had loomed, there is a tapestry of a green pipe, but with a poorly placed sticker of a money bag in the centre. And instead of gas lamps, there is a strange contrast of several luminescent mushrooms in one corner, and a plethora of emeralds and rubies in another, which cast a dizzying kaleidoscopic mirage on the ceiling.
"Intricate," Villager comments, coming in.
"I'm glad you like it," Waluigi says, sullenly, still subdued by Mario's piercing gaze. "Sit Waaa-ever you like."
I sit next to Lucas. Villager and Toon Link take my right, but Pit and Red are nowhere to be seen.
Someone mutters worriedly behind me: "Why is Porky making us take this again?" It's Paula.
"To make mini porklings," Toon Link replies. "Pigs in Blankets, if you will."
Mario beams, a gloriously jaunty smile. "Well, hello-a everyone! It is-a pleasure to be here!"
"Waaa," Waluigi agrees flatly, his arms folded.
Mario continues, happily picking up one of Waluigi's rubies. "We are-a here to learn Business! Now, there's-a been a little mix-up…"
"Porky hired two professors?" Bayonetta guesses loudly, rolling her eyes. "Naturally. That great oaf-"
Mario taps his nose. "Porky is-a always listening! Be-a careful!"
Lucas and I exchange the tiniest of glances.
A boy wearing green boxing gloves calls out: "Professor Mario, what happened to your arm?"
"Ah…" Professor Mario unfurls his sleeve, revealing a large bruise. "Professor-a Bowser is-a not very happy to see me…"
The boy raises his eyebrows. I recognise him as Little Mac - known mainly for losing a bet and having to wear boxing gloves for an entire year.
"Bowser's a bully," a girl in a vibrant pink dress declares, and many nod their agreement.
"Isn't it time to learn?" Waluigi snipes, causing Mario to glare in his direction.
Lucas and I exchange yet another glance. I see his face is sullen and frustrated once more. We're both thinking the same: this is a massive waste of our time.
…
What feels like hours of the professors bickering later, we're done. Lucas trails me out of the classroom, obviously deep in thought, but something stops me from prying.
"Do we even need to attend lessons?" Toon Link complains. "At this rate, we won't even be alive to take our exams, so what's the point?"
A familiar huff tells us that Red has arrived. "Don't be a nihilist. It helps nothing."
Pit seems in a better mood, a gleeful look on his face as he emerges from the history corridor.
I raise an eyebrow. "What's the occasion?"
Toon Link grins derisively. "Probably bumped into Paula in the hallway."
That wipes Pit's smile. He socks Toon Link in the arm. "It was just a good lesson. Have any of you had Byleth yet?"
"No."
"He's awesome…" Pit's eyes spark. "A bit crazy, but he says a lot of deep stuff. Really makes you consider everything."
"So, like a blue-haired Jesus?"
"Minus the parables and son of God stuff, yeah."
We look round at one another, impressed. Of course, we don't care for Byleth's history lessons - we care more about his powers and what an asset he could be for our quest. Since he knows of magic, he does seem an apt replacement for Ryu - but what branch of magic could he possess? I entertain vaguely the idea that it's him sending me the letters, but the writer had said they were a student…
Hey, 910! Can I call you that?
Way to sound creepy. 'I saw you and Lucas at dinner' - HELLO? PORKY? DIS U? Hah. Foiled again. I'm beginning to suspect you're Lucas, playing a prank.
HELL YEAH! ROMANCE! Great news about you and your girlfriend! A double date sounds fantastic. When you finally take off the '910' mask, at least… and then you can find out for yourself if Lucas and I are more than friends.
The farmlands? In Onett? Then whaddya mean, 'where I'm from, people don't care about that sort of thing'? I thought they stabbed homosexuals with pitchforks out there? Then again, I'm a city kid. Rich father, I can't help it. He's not exactly the best guy around though; what's your family situation?
It's good that you believe in the stones. That makes two of us - well, five, if you count Byleth, Lucas, and Ryu. And it sounds like the Time Stone is pretty one-directional… I wouldn't be so keen.
Honestly, I have no idea what happened to Mega Man. Byleth was a bit vague, I got the impression he had no idea either. Any theories?
All those Porky rumours are true. He holds a stake in at least half of the slaver ships that sail down the Onett river. And the brothels too - he's a pedophile. But he's dangerous too; I'll tell you more if we meet in person.
Hope you're having a great day,
~ Ness
…
Good morning Ness,
I assure you - I am not Lucas! Nor Porky! I am me. My girlfriend thinks I'm going mad, but I'm starting to check under the pool table way too often for your letters. School beginning again today has given me a new perspective: life is dull. Thank goodness I've picked up a pen pal.
I love that air of mystery. Of course, don't let rumours spread too far about you and Lucas - you know what people say already, I assume, but still.
Ness, seriously, my past is a mess in my mind. I don't understand it. Maybe it's a regional thing? I remember a lot of homosexual pairings in the region, though. In fact, sexuality wasn't even a thing. Pardon my crudeness, but people just banged whoever they wanted. As for my family, I don't speak to them much. I think I lived alone.
My theory is that you used your psychic powers to bewitch Mega Man to do your evil bidding. Now he's possessed and is going to blow up the school. That or Porky.
Speaking of Porky, this'll interest you. I walked past his office earlier, he was muttering something about Lucas's mail, and he was carrying a handful of letters in his hands. Any idea what that's about?
Hope your morning has been amazing,
~ 910
My head snaps up. "Guys?"
"Yeah?"
I grin. "It's time for us to commit a heist."
…
"So let me get this straight," Villager narrows his eyes, as we walk to History with Byleth. "A stranger has told you that Porky stole Lucas's letters, and has hidden them in his office. Doesn't that sound like a trap?"
A million different problems rush through my head at once. "It could be important."
Pit looks worriedly across. "You've still not figured out who's writing to you?"
"I trust them."
"I wouldn't," Lucas says stonily. "What if it's Saul? Maybe that's what he was doing last night - making you a delivery?"
"No letters appeared last night."
"Is it even important?" Villager queries, as he strides down the hall. I notice his and Toon Link's hands brushing together as if they're not sure if they should hold hands or not. I interlock my fingers with Lucas's in response, but he shakes me off. I shoot him a quizzical look.
"It is important," I say, making yet another mental note to ask if Lucas is okay. "They're Lucas's letters."
"It could just be taxes," Red deadpans.
"I'm not eighteen," Lucas reminds him.
"And the government is corrupt. Porky will do anything for money."
"That's not the point," I say hurriedly, spotting Byleth in the distance. "Look - we'll work something out. There's nothing else to do. We might even find something useful in there. Future Human plans - or something."
"Mmm."
Pit and Red head off to their respective lessons, whilst the rest of us are hailed by a jovial Professor Byleth. I spot a miserable-looking Jeff in the back row, accompanied by the ever-faithful Tony.
"Good morning," Byleth says efficiently, once everyone has sat down. "As you can see, I am not Professor Ryu. However, I'm hoping that won't hinder you in your studies too mu…" He suddenly trails off, starting intensely ahead of him, as if he cannot believe his eyes. I follow his gaze, to an alarmed looking boy in the middle of the classroom.
"Anyway," Byleth continues, as though nothing had happened, though a slight tremor enters his voice. I glance at Lucas to get his opinion, but he looks too distracted to reply. "History… I believe you were going chronologically, no? Well, I think it's high time we studied, ah… the Iron Age."
He casts a deliberate look at the boy in the middle of the room, who stares back, looking blank. I've seen professors hold favourites before, but this is a little bit odd. What's so special about him?
"Around 400 BC," Byleth begins, serenely. "Residents of Onett did not live in brickwork houses like today - though, this is obvious. They lived in what are known amongst archaeologists as roundhouses, constructed out of mud and straw, referred to as daub and wattle. It was a subsistence lifestyle; meaning they provided for themselves, and only themselves. Now…" Byleth sweeps his age-old eyes across the room. He notices me and Lucas, and slightly inclines his head. "Magic was one of Ryu's favourite topics, was it not?"
There's nodding. I turn around, expecting to see Ryu's bookcase plump with magical books, but instead, Byleth has installed yet another plethora of clocks. It looks rather like the Great Chamber, a business hall for hire in the centre of Onett. Father used to take me there as a young boy, whenever he had a major business meeting. It'd give me work experience, he'd said. In the end, all it had given me was a long nap, whilst men with various accents argued about shipping, and importation. The walls were pretty though, full of clocks set to timezones from all around the world, one for New York, one for Sydney, one for Paris…
"Magic in the Iron Age was even more prohibited than today," Byleth says grimly. The way he speaks almost leads me to believe he was there himself. "Anyone suspected of being a magician or 'false prophet' would be burnt, offered as a sacrifice to their gods."
Their gods. Like the gods of Felicity and her mother, at the bakery. Felicity, Toon Link's real mother, I'm starkly reminded.
Byleth gives another searching look to the boy in the middle of the room. But upon the limited response, he seems to give it up as a lost cause, turning to the equally static Nana.
"Tell me, what is the meaning of life?"
There's a pause, before Nana opens and closes her mouth, lost for words.
Byleth paces like a wizened priest. "The meaning of life for the Iron Age dwellers was holiness. A belief that by appeasing their gods, they would be satiated and comfortable. Of course, it is foolish to place your faith in one such uncertainty - not that I," Byleth amends. "Would disrespect those with their own beliefs - my point is, the Onetians had flimsy evidence at best, to suggest those Gods existed, let alone watched over them."
Toon Link's eyes are transfixed, listening.
Byleth keeps talking. "Faith spreads like a dandelion clock; little ideas dispersed amongst social groups that sometimes take root to grow more seeds. As such, these beliefs of gods and spirits and naiads and dryads have trickled down - evolving, of course, as dandelions have also. Though of course, it is not this simple; belief is less common now, what with anthro-centric ways of thinking. But my point is: history always takes root. Everything is built on the past. It is the same for language, culture, the way we dress, the way we dance, the way we - heaven forbid - engage in sexual activity. Not forgetting terrible things as well, like murder, torture, corruption… Of course, dearest Mr Minch is a prime example of all three," Byleth says drily.
There's a small ripple of laughter at that.
"Altogether, we know things pass down. We also now know a little bit of information about the Iron Age. This is where the textbook comes in. Since, naturally, the curriculum is essentially a memory test, there's going to be a lot of raw content to cover… So everyone, get your textbooks out!"
There are disappointed groans.
"All out?" Byleth checks. "Good. Now put them away to throw in a fireplace of your choosing, because they're painfully inaccurate."
"Hell yeah!" Toon Link exclaims. Byleth smiles grimly in response.
"It's not all good news. It's time for an exam question - 30 marks, assess the extent to which Iron Age life impacts the world of today. If you need any facts about the Iron Age, I remember it well. Please do ask me anything." It's hard to tell when he's being sarcastic. "In the meantime, Ness, Lucas, I could do with a word outside…"
I jolt to attention, distracted by Little Mac trying to distribute the exam questions despite his boxing gloves. Byleth stands expectantly. I rouse Lucas from a trance-like state, and we follow the unpredictable Professor out of the door.
The hallway is strangely barren. Byleth immediately turns around, putting his hands together. "Alright then, you two. I don't want you coming to my lessons anymore."
Lucas's shock is evident. "Why?!"
"Ryu's wishes. You must use the time to train, this is paramount to History. However, I would like to begin meeting for private lessons - for other skills you will need - once per day perhaps - until this business is over. Is that alright with you?"
I slowly nod. "Yeah."
"Who was that boy you kept looking at?" Lucas asks daringly, as Byleth turns to leave.
Byleth's frame freezes, but he waves a hand. "Just a new student. I thought he was somebody else. This is not a mistake I will make again."
The age in his voice suggests there may be far more to it than that, but I decide it's no business of ours. Byleth is trustworthy - this boy shall come to no harm.
"There's an hour left of the lesson," Byleth says briskly. "Use it wisely." Without waiting for a reply, he sweeps back into the classroom.
…
I look up and down the cavernous hallway. Byleth had said to train, but thoughts of Porky's office and the letter-sender loom. Mega Man too - it seems there's another pile of mysteries slowly building up on our plate. Hopefully this time, our detective work won't get us locked up in an underground laboratory with a mad imposter.
"Training then?" I ask Lucas, whose shoulders droop heavily in response.
"Not now. I feel exhausted."
I frown. "Are you okay? You've been pretty distant all morning."
"I'm fine," Lucas says vaguely. He looks up and down the corridor. "Just tired."
"Then should we go to our dorm? Instead of standing around in the hallway?"
"You can. I think I need some air."
I regard Lucas with surprise. "I'll come too then. Some air sounds nice."
"We've hardly been apart for two weeks straight. I think I need a bit of alone time… Sorry." He averts his gaze.
My mind whirs with separation anxiety. What if someone whisks him away whilst he's out there? What if he's converted into a Future Human? But I settle for a simple 'stay safe' instead, letting Lucas go on his way.
I turn down the hall. Right then, I need to start working on a plan.
Porky's office is encased in a large, oval-shaped tower. It used to be Headmaster Hand's of course - with a modest bedroom behind the desk, and a window leading inside. There's only one problem: it's on the second floor.
This leaves two entrance points, I reason, unless anybody is revealed to become a climbing expert. The front door, which will no doubt be locked, or under supervision, and then the fireplace; the flue vertically connects fireplaces on all floors of the building. If one were to lower oneself down from the third floor, for example, there would be a slight descent, and then there would be an entrance into the office.
Getting Porky out is easy. All that's required is a distraction, and no doubt Toon Link would be up for that - a little bit of chaos in the hallways should send Porky waddling down the hall in no time… I rub my hands together, pleased with the plan. Not only because retrieving Lucas's mail would improve his mood significantly, but also because getting one over on Porky would feel so, so delightful. I'm tempted momentarily to leave behind something disgusting, like a pile of worms or maggots, but perhaps it would be better for it to be an inconspicuous job. The less progress he thinks we're making, the better.
One thing that has perplexed me: why aren't we dead yet? I know full well that Porky could kill us any time he wants. But I suspect he wants our deaths to be special, I suspect he's playing a long game… and he has a part lined up for us in the end.
I shudder. Our world is in a precarious position - Onett under pressure from all angles: Tazmily, who no doubt have been supplied with Future Humans, on their way to win the war. Onett Power growing restless, maniacs like Everdred blowing up council buildings. The sharp exodus of people into New Pork City, returning to their friends and families as monsters. Then Geldegarde, pimping out kids like Lucas, combined with his political maelstrom, his quest to best Porky in his evilness. It's bad enough having one villain to deal with, without yet another one to battle. But Onett has always been a city for the nightmares to duel - a segregated hell where the evilest of humanity fester, crawling out of the filthy river before eventually sinking back into the murky grime.
I'm so lost in thought that I almost bump headfirst into Claus.
"Ness!" The tall redhead exclaims, grinning ear to ear.
"Claus!" I bring up a smile. "What are you doing?"
"Lesson with Rosalina," Claus explains, pronouncing her name correctly for the first time. "She teached me grammar, words… big words. Where be Lucas?"
"Outside… he's not in a very good mood. Do you know why?"
Claus frowns momentarily, before brightening. "Rock!"
I'm stumped. "Rock?"
He makes a sort of oval shape with his hands. "Magic rock - rock? Stone…"
"Of course!" I exclaim. The psychic stone - he's been carrying that stupid thing around all day! No wonder he's been so vague. It messes with heads, it encases the mind in fog. "Thanks, Claus!"
Claus beams and I run off, towards the front door - I need to confiscate that stone at once.
I'm not even sure what good it does, I think, as I breach the cold winter's air. All the stone seems to do is make us grumpy and agitated. But Ryu had said we needed it...
I scan the horizon for my boyfriend, spotting him down by the lake, creating small ice crystals with his hand. One zooms into the water, sending ripples out in all directions.
"Lucas!" I exclaim, hurtling into him. He gasps for breath, falling back against the grass.
"Ow! Ah! Ness?! Didn't I say I wanted-"
I thrust my hand into his pocket, withdrawing the stone. Immediately, Lucas's shoulders relax, and his eyes seem to focus. "This is why you've been in a bad mood!" I exclaim. "Again! You need to stop keeping it in your pocket."
Lucas eyes it with suspicion, picking himself up. There are grass stains on his shirt that I'm sure he'll chastise me for later. "Please tell me that without attacking me, next time. And, I don't think it creates bad moods on its own…"
"Then how does it work?"
"Amplification," Lucas replies. "I believe, anyway. Enhancement of particular moods especially. But sometimes there are too many thoughts - too many frequencies, and it becomes a haze, a distant haze."
I toss the radiant yellow gemstone in my hand. "Do you think it's supposed to amplify our powers, too?"
"It amplifies everything about being a psychic, " Lucas states simply. "That's how it works."
I put the stone in my pocket. Immediately, my worries seem to increase, all melding together in a cacophonous noise. Is Lucas okay? Is mother okay? Will I ever be let back home? What's Porky doing? What's for dinner? And then my senses begin to tingle - I feel every breath of the wind on my skin, I feel the bitter cold of the air numbing my fingers, I see the way Lucas's pretty chest rises and falls as he breathes, a faint mist coming from his beautiful lips. And suddenly, I want to kiss him, I want to kiss him so badly, and-
Lucas yanks the stone out of my pocket, a shrewd smile on his face. "You forget it's there after a while. I think it's changing though: as it gets more used to us, it was a grey fog at first… But it's getting easier to make things out."
I shake out my head, my senses back to normal, my mind back on cruise control. "I don't think we should be carrying this around, then. We could hide it somewhere?"
But Lucas shakes his head. "There's nowhere secure enough in the school."
"Then we need to find a way to carry it, that doesn't spark its effects. Look - even holding it in your hand, nothing happens."
"A backpack?" Lucas suggests.
"Too conspicuous. Bullies could steal it."
"Papoose?"
"Went out of style, long ago. Besides, those are used for carrying babies." My thoughts brighten with an idea. "How about we bury it?"
"Bury it?" Lucas's blonde hair billows in the wind. He looks dubious. "Where?"
"Somewhere marked," I gulp, an idea already forming in my head. "Somewhere that we'll know where to look…"
…
Lucas and I stand in front of our gravestone.
The words are the same: In Loving Memory of Ness, and his best friend Lucas.
"Why do you get to be the subject?" Lucas complains, in a vague attempt to lighten the mood. "Why can't it be Lucas, and his best friend Ness?"
I smile grimly, but my senses are off-kilter. There's a hanging thickness in the air, as if we shouldn't be here. Perhaps it's the chance that our corpses might lie below our feet.
The Stone seems to sparkle brighter here, despite the covered trees. Ryu had said to keep the Stone with us - but Ryu was just a man, I remind myself. He isn't always right. We can dig the Stone up when we need it - that being, in battle.
"Is this really the best place to bury it?" Lucas's eyes flicker uneasily into the masses of trees. "What if we're being watched?"
"Porky didn't know about the grave," I remind him, getting down on my hands and knees. A wave of purpose hits me, as I pull away at the wet leaves by the headstone, leaving a bare patch of earth in its place.
"Not until we told him about it."
"We didn't tell him where it is." I remove my cap to use as a shovel, before digging a modest hole in the ground. I gently place down the stone, before kicking a pile of earth back over it. I stand, satisfied. "The secret is kept."
"The secret is kept," Lucas agrees. An old Onetian turn of phrase.
We head back up to the school, in considerably better spirits than before. This time, Lucas obliges to hold my hand, perhaps more due to the cold than anything, but I enjoy feeling the shape of his delicate fingers in mine. Without the stone's burden hanging over us, it feels like we are thoroughly together again. There are no more barriers.
The lunch bell rings soon after we arrive. The others meet us in a prearranged spot - the art gallery, on the second floor. It's time to commit our heist.
I run through the plan, describing the intricate mechanisms of the chimneys, and my fears about using the door. Toon Link buoyantly agrees to create a distraction, and Pit agrees to keep watch outside in case Porky decides to come back along.
"We should send somebody in through all three entrances at once," Red reasons. "We have limited time. If there is an issue in one of the entrances, if the door can't be picked, if the window is locked, if the fireplace has a grate-"
"It doesn't," Toon Link cuts in. "I've been in there enough times to know."
"It may now," Red says shortly. "My point is, we must send somebody in through each entrance to maximise the chance of a positive outcome."
"I'm a good climber," Lucas offers quietly. "I'll take the window." I open my mouth to protest, but Lucas silences me. "There's plenty of ivy. And the sixth member of our group can be a runner - they can catch me if I fall, and when I don't, they can come inside and help wherever they're needed."
Red nods sharply. "I can do that. I am a fantastic leader!"
"I'll try the chimney," I offer, daringly. I'm not entirely sure why - maybe I feel like Lucas is showing off by climbing the wall. "We can lower a rope before we begin. The bottom fireplace is in the Library downstairs - it's grated, so Red can tie it to a bar."
"Then I'll take the locked door," Villager decides. "I can try and pick it, we do - did - a lot of that stuff in Trades. There's a good chance I can manage it."
Red continues the delegations. "Once the office is breached, entrants can search the drawers and the desk. Liberate the letters, liberate other valuable items, and then leave! Exit by-"
"The fireplace," Pit says. "We know."
Red surveys us with beady eyes. "Good. This cannot fail, or Porky will have us lynched. Is this understood?"
Toon Link grins.
Red flares up. "What?"
"Nothing," Toon Link says, still grinning. "It's just great to be back in the saddle again."
We quickly get to work, collecting everything we need, and making sure all our timings are in place. My mind is still buzzing with a million ways that everything could go wrong: the fireplace could be lit, the letters could have been destroyed, the rope may come loose, but my instincts tell me not to worry. There's little time to waste, what with the shortening of the lunch break under Porky's regime.
Lucas hurries back from scouting out the site, panting and out of breath. "You're right Ness - he's in the office - he's eating a Cornish pasty."
"What flavour?"
"Beef and onion."
Toon Link pulls a face. "Disgusting. Even more reason to finish him off."
Red fixes us with a sharp look. "No bantering. I despise bantering. Villager, is the rope procured?"
"Yes." The round-faced boy tosses a coil of thick rope to me. It'll be my job to secure it on the third floor, before lowering it to Red, who'll be waiting below.
"Is the fire burning?" Pit asks worriedly.
Lucas shakes his head. "Nope, we've had a stroke of luck. Since the library is out of bounds, it's all cold."
"And Porky's fireplace?"
Lucas shrugs. "Didn't look like it. The only light seemed to be from the window."
"Good." Red stands, satisfied. "Then it's time: it's time to stake our claim, it's time to liberate our dues."
…
I take my place on the third floor, in the circular lounge room that we calculated to be directly above Porky's office. As Lucas promised, no smoke rises from below, sending a giddy feeling of hope down my spine. The heist is a lot of effort, for what may be a small thing - but any chance to best Porky must be taken. I wish I could be there to see the look on Porky's face when he finds out the letters are missing.
There's a shrill whistle from Pit downstairs. The signal that it's time for Toon Link to begin his distraction. Hastily, I tie one end of the rope to a nearby bedpost, listening carefully until I hear Porky leaving his room. It would be quite a dismal result if Porky noticed a giant length of rope whizzing down his fireplace.
A large crash from down below signals that the distraction has begun. There's an almighty scream, and I make out Toon Link's laughter amongst the pandemonium - then to my pleasure, there's the scraping of a chair as Porky gets a little too quickly out of his seat. Another crash sounds, followed by some kind of rushing noise - if I didn't know better, I'd say Toon Link was destroying a cistern.
It's hard to tell when Porky leaves his office over the noise, but thankfully, Pit gives another shrill whistle to signal the coast is clear. Jolting to attention, I toss my length of rope down the flue - it looks dark with soot, but just wide enough for me to shimmy down - and the coil tumbles into the black abyss. I wait with anticipation for the thunk as it hits the bottom, and then for the two tugs from below, telling me that Red has tied his knot. Quick and easy, I tell myself. A subtle job. Not like the escape from Andonuts's house, the one that had got us in trouble with the police.
Two tugs. The knot is tight. I ready myself, before crouching down, grabbing firmly onto the rope, and sliding my legs over into the apex of the flue. I'm careful not to displace any soot onto the carpet, though my arms start to tense. Will my knot hold?
But there's no time to sit around and worry. I drop myself in. To my great relief, I don't immediately plummet three storeys and splatter on the ground, though I do feel the rope swing a little - evidently, it wasn't as tense as I thought. But no matter: holding my breath to avoid the acrid taste of soot, I begin to shimmy myself down into the darkness.
I look out for an opening, where Porky's fireplace connects up to the central flue. There should be a smoke chamber off to the side that joins the two - a funnel-shaped structure that directs all the smoke into the central system. But I feel the rope swing once more - my body hits some thick black creosote on the wall. I wrinkle my nose, not wanting to breathe any of it in. It's nasty stuff.
My arms beginning to ache from the effort, I maintain my movements until I reach a square of light down below. Praying that my sudden movements won't sever the rope, I swing my legs forwards into the cavity, keeping one hand firmly on the rope, and another on the sooted wall as a failsafe, ensuring I'm wedged in. I push off the wall, and there's a moment of panic as my hand is freed, but fortunately, my balance begins to tip towards the smoke chamber, and I start to slide forward. Relieved, I wait until my torso has slid into the hole, preparing to make impact in the fireplace below - and at the last second, I release the rope, and I tumble back into the light, landing unceremoniously on a pile of logs.
Porky's office.
I internally congratulate myself, but the crashing and bellowing from the nearby corridor remind me that our time is limited. There's a sharp click - the door swings open and I freeze - but it's just Villager. He rushes over, helping me up out of the fireplace, being careful not to let any soot get onto Porky's ornate crimson carpet.
"Nice work. Easy fall?"
I breathe. "Easy enough. We'll have a tough task getting back up there, though."
Villager hums his recognition, before we remember that we've got a job to be doing, and we set to work. I thrust open Porky's big ornate window to let Lucas in - but looking down, I see the blonde has made little progress with climbing the wall. I wave him away, indicating that Porky's door has been opened, and Lucas, evidently relieved, falls back down against the grass, before rushing inside.
"I'll take the bedroom," I say, but upon opening it up, it becomes apparent it's been converted into an office. Eagerly I run inside, my heart pounding with exhilaration. I search through papers with precision, making sure to replace them exactly as they were, the mark of a good thief. I'd learnt the skill from when I 'borrowed' money from Father's office, usually to give to Lucas. He'd never found out.
Most of the hap-hazard papers on the desk seem to be documentation for planning permission - new houses, new buildings. I flick through them briefly, but it's nothing exciting nor incriminating. I haul open a drawer, making sure not to damage an ornately carved wooden owl, before pulling out another stack of paper: this one bills, street repairs, orders, drafts, a few angry scribbled threats, but seemingly nothing more. I glance at the elaborate golden clock that Porky has hung on the wall: we have ten minutes at most.
A soft patter tells me that Lucas is here. "Any luck?" He sounds tense.
"Not yet. Search the cabinet," Villager instructs. Lucas obeys, feet gliding swiftly across the carpet. He opens it, pulling out a heap of cardboard boxes.
I tear my gaze away from his pretty face. The second desk drawer is more difficult to yank open, thanks to a severe wad of items that have been unceremoniously piled in. But eventually, it opens with a pop, and I catch myself and the owl before investigating the haul.
There's a painting, to my surprise, but upon turning the canvas, I see it's a portrait of Porky - how narcissistic, I think with dismay. Underneath, there's a plump red ruby that I pocket: that'll make a lot of cash down in the Market District. There's a few packs of cigarettes and lighters that I confiscate for the sake of Porky's lungs. I also manage to withdraw a stack of cash that I gladly shove in my pocket for later.
The crashes outside continue. It sounds like Porky is chasing Toon Link around the entire school - there's a roar as Bowser joins the fray. Grinning, I continue my search, retrieving a cactus, a watch, a disconcertingly large pile of Lucas figurines, before…
Aha.
"Got them!" I announce, holding up a pile of letters, tightly bound in an elastic band. It's almost too easy. Lucas, they read on the front, along with the address of the school. I toss them over to my lover, who catches them in relief. It's as if Porky wanted us to find them.
"Right - put everything back where it was, and then we can leave," Villager instructs, as the racket outside grows louder. "Pocket anything interesting, and remember, he can't know we've been here."
I look at the sooty footprints on the carpet. Oh well, I think to myself. At least he can't prove it was me.
All of a sudden, the pandemonium stops, and Toon Link's cry of exclamation fills the void. I freeze. My heart leaps into my throat.
"He's coming," Lucas mouths fearfully, his skin pale.
Pulse soaring, I spring into action, noisily trying to cram all of Porky's items back into his drawer, the way they were before. But there's too many of them; even without Lucas's letters, the drawer doesn't want to close. I push at it with frustration, eating into valuable seconds of our time. Lucas figurines are sent tumbling to the floor. Come on! Lucas slams his cabinet shut, rushing over to help, but his hands are shaking - and Pit's shrill whistle sounds outside. Porky's near.
"Leave it!" Villager exclaims, hurrying over to the window. "We've got to go!" I follow suit, but Red has gone inside, and there's only hard concrete below. It's not safe.
"The fireplace!" I bellow, but to my dismay, I spot a thick column of smoke rising in the flue: someone's started a fire on a lower floor. There's no way out. I grab onto Lucas's hand.
Porky's humongous head appears round the door, piggy eyes gleeful, as though he's just won the award for biggest evil genius of the year.
He rubs his hands together with delight, before drawing a pistol from his pocket. "Well, well, well! I wonder which one of you I'll have to shoot first?"
A/N
After a busy early summer of exams, and holidays with friends, I thought it was high time I get back to writing this good ol' gay historical AU. Expect chapter after chapter, coming at you with speed and efficiency that's not been seen since January 2020!
There's a lot to unpack here. The major theme of this chapter was supposed to be the letters… But then I changed the cliffhangers, threw in a heist, and so we got a bit of meshing of the two. On the plus side, that sits me in good stead for writing the next chapter.
Editing of old chapters is still slowly happening. If the wordcount mysteriously fluctuates, that may be why.
Notes:
Vida é assim directly translates from Portuguese as 'Life is like that', meaning 'that's the way life is,' or 'such is life.'
Instead of researching battles or historical events like a normal author, I spent a good portion of my time researching Victorian chimneys. Naturally.
I want to thank SmashBro37, RainyTazmily, and SmashBrosOdyssey for their continued support over the past few months. I also would like to mention Aceblade and Liquidphonecase for the very kind DMs they sent me about this fic. The knowledge that this fic is actually being read, is actually touching people's lives is what motivates me to keep on writing, so thank you all for that!
Until next time (hopefully very soon),
~ ReadyForTeddy
