A/N: I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to post, life has been chaos at the moment. I hope you enjoy this, and I swear I'll try not to leave you hanging like this again.
"I'm starving." Gabriel grumbled into Sam's shoulder.
In reply Sam's stomach rumbled causing the ex-archangel to laugh and roll off the bed, going in search of his clothes. "I doubt there's anything edible in this place." Sam muttered drowsily.
"So we snag the keys to Dean's precious tin can and go out, get take out?"
As if reading Gabriel's mind, Sam's phone began to chime. "Can you." Sam asked from the comfort of the bed. "Jeans." He nodded at the pile of fabric.
"What did your last slave die of?" The man huffed, even as he pulled the cell out of the worn blue denim, glancing at the screen.
"Exhaustion." Sam replied seductively, his gaze heavy hot on Gabriel as the ex-archangel tossed the phone at him.
"Speak of the devil."
Sam opened the message and sighed, falling back against the stale covers. "He's gone for a drink."
"So no trip to the nearest 7/11 then." Gabriel huffed tiredly, pulling his T-shirt into place over his crusty stomach. "I really need a shower."
"Hmm." Sam nodded, staring at the message, before tossing the phone on the nightstand and getting up. "Let's go find the bathroom, then we'll figure out what to do about food." He hurriedly stepped into his underwear and T-shirt, and marched to the door. "Dean at least left us our bags." He murmured.
"Small mercy, I guess." Gabriel laughed humourlessly, settling under Sam's warm arm, as it made itself comfortable across his shoulders.
Leaving their room, they almost tripped over their bags. Sam bent, retrieving them and carrying them into the bedroom. Dumping them on the bed, Sam and Gabriel riffled though them for their wash bags.
With their small bags and fresh clothes, they headed for the room across the hall, peering in to watch Claire making herself at home. She gave him a smile and a knowing look.
"You okay?" Sam asked, his gaze scanning the room, identical to the one he and Gabriel chose.
"I'm fine. Dean's gone..."
"We know, he messaged me." Sam clarified.
"You found any food?" Gabriel asked.
Claire rolled her eyes at him. "Not as yet. Told you we should have stopped at that gas station."
Gabriel scoffed. "Yeah, yeah." He waved off.
"The bathroom is down the corridor, turn right. It's the first door on the left." Her nose wrinkled, looking between the pair.
Sam flushed. "Thanks."
Claire's laugh followed the pair out of the room.
Together they headed in the direction Claire had given, finding the room easily. Sam pushed the door open to find a large room, the air predictably stale, but warm. The fluorescent light overhead giving off a warm glow.
"Well this homely." Gabriel remarked, stepping past Sam into the room, looking around at the dust coated tiles and basin. "This is going to need a thorough disinfecting."
"Yeah." Sam agreed, heading over the shower, pulling back the curtain. The shower stall itself wasn't so bad, Sam had envisioned layers of mould and dirt.
Gabriel peered over his shoulder. "Well that's... Not as gross as it could have been." He reached over and twisted the nozzle. The pipes rumbled loudly before a sudden burst of water exploded from the shower head.
They watched the layer of dirt on the bottom of the stale wash away, the darkened water swirling around the drain.
"Pressure looks good." Gabriel commented. "Shouldn't take me too long to clean." he sighed, turning away.
"You to clean?" Sam frowned, turning too. He strolled over to where Gabriel was stripping out of his shirt.
Gabriel looked up at him once he was free, brow quirked high. "I was a janitor, I faced worse than that every day."
Sam scoffed, reaching for the hem of his own shirt. "You were a janitor for what, a month? And you had...mojo. I doubt you got your hands dirty." he rolled his eyes, tossing the t-shirt on the small pile Gabriel had created at their feet.
Gabriel glared at him, the reminder of his lost power cutting deep, then turned sharply to march furiously towards the shower stall. Sam closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. "Gabe, I..."
"Forget it." Gabriel grunted as he slipped behind the curtain. "You're right," he called over the sound of the water. "Because it was my mojo that scrubbed the house clean and mended the back porch, and leaking roof, and blocked toilet, while you were off saving the world!"
Sam inhaled deeply through his nose, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Why was he always doing that? Putting his foot in his mouth about Gabriel seemed to be a damn hobby. How was it possibly he was able to blurt out shit Gabriel didn't want to hear, but couldn't say the words he obviously did. The words that may just set his mind at ease, and solidify that wobbly bridge between them.
He walked slowly over to the shower, cautiously pulling back the curtain and stepping inside. Gabriel didn't so much as acknowledge his existence, too busy pouring shower gel across his chest and scrubbing at the mess on his stomach. Sam swept his hands across the backs of the man's shoulders, massaging the muscles gently. "I know, and you did a wonderful job, Ga..."
"Don't patronize me, Winchester." Gabriel growled, shaking off the hands.
"I didn't mean anything by it." Sam defended loudly, grabbing the ex-angels shoulders, and turning him forcibly around.
"I don't give a shit." Gabriel spat, water rolling down his face.
Sam narrowed his gaze at the shorter man, taking a step closer. He let the hands on Gabriel's shoulders slid slowly down his arms, then back up. Another step closer and they were almost chest to chest. Sam bowed, his hands slipping even lower to kneed the older man's ass, while Sam's lips brushed across Gabriel's earlobe. "I'm soooo sorry." he whispered, then dipped his mouth to suck at the ex-archangels neck.
"D-don't think that's gonnaahhh." Gabriel moaned as Sam's fingers slid between the cleft of his ass, pressing teasingly at the man's tender and sensitive hole. "I fuc-kin' h-hate you w-Winchester." he breathed, twisting his hand to captures the hunter's lips.
Gabriel stumbled backwards, his back hitting the cold tiles, but he was too lost in Sam's kiss to care about the chill. Their moans echoed off the tiled walls. Sam bent as his knees, his hands sliding down the ex-archangel's thighs to hoist him up.
"Fuck." Gabriel panted, his head falling back against the wall, his hips pressing his erections into Sam's stomach, while Sam's easing slowly into him. "You're f-forgiven."
Sam grinned against his temple, as he began to thrust.
_What Doesn't Kill You_
After their showered, the pair dressed in fresh clothes and made their way through the bunker, opening doors to check rooms as they went. Between their room and the bathroom, were more bedrooms and two large closets. One filled with cleaning supplies and another stacked with fresh lining, well as fresh as anything can be after almost seventy years.
"There has to be a laundry room around her somewhere?" Gabriel said as he pulled out sheets and kicked the door closed.
They continued on, back to their room in silence. Sam dumped the pile of dirty clothes unceremoniously on the leather couch, taking a seat next to it while Gabriel place the sheets on the desk before heading for the rumpled remains of the bed. Sam watched him pull the dirty blankets, tossing them to the floor one on top of another.
"Want help?" Sam asked after a few minutes of silent appreciation.
"You can go see if there's anything slightly edible in this place." Gabriel grunted as he yanked off the bottom sheet.
Sam sighed wearily, pushing himself off the couch. "Okay, came find me when you're done."
Gabriel didn't reply, too focused on his task.
While Sam went in search of dinner, continuing to check in on rooms, Gabriel made the bed, wincing at the pain in his side and back. Having sex with an overzealous boyfriend mere hours after almost becoming a hell-hounds doggy treat hadn't been his best idea, he knew. He ached all over, both in good and bad ways. At least the stitches Sam had put into his side and shoulder had held up.
It had been a long time since he'd had to sit and watch Sam put him back together again. They'd shared their first kiss that last time. - It was hard to believe how far they'd come since that night. How far he'd come.
Folding back the pale blue comforter, Gabriel straightened, rolling his neck. He glanced over to the bags, then around the room, his hand rubbing aimlessly at his shoulder. Inhaling slowly he brushed of the thoughts of unpacking, turning instead to leave the room. Instead of going in search of Sam, he padded barefoot across the corridor, knocking sharply on Claire's door.
"Come in!"
Gabriel grinned as he entered to find the teenager sat on the large bed, her legs folded, and a folder open in front of her. "What you doing?"
"Homework." Claire relied, not bothering to look up.
Gabriel stared at her sadly, moving to take a seat at the end of the bed. "You know, you don't have to do that." he muttered.
Finally Claire raised her eyes to meet his gaze. "I know." she sighed. "It just gives me something to do." she shrugged nonchalantly.
"There's a whole library out there..." he smirked. "You could be geeking out with Sam." he laughed.
Claire's lips curled slightly. "I'd rather not be out there with...him."
"Him? - Dean?"
Claire nodded, turning back to her papers.
Gabriel narrowed his gaze at her. "What did he do now? Did he say something?" he demanded angrily.
"No." Claire murmured, shaking her head. "He didn't say anything. - He's... It's his attitude. He hates...you."
"He doesn't hate me." Gabriel forced a smile. "He just doesn't like me very much."
"He hates you." she insists. "And he hates that you and Sam are together."
Gabriel sighed, there was just no fooling his girl. "Okay, he does, but that's...it's complicated, kiddo. Dean has his own...issues and he's taking it out on me."
"Cas?" Claire whispered.
"Yeah." Gabriel nodded, regretfully.
The pair fell silent, Claire's pen hovering over the page as Gabriel stared down at his feet, nothing laying between them but air. The silence so thick it was almost physical weight on both their shoulders. Gabriel startled when Claire shattered it, her voice so quiet it was barely audible.
"You're not gonna let him break you guys up, right?"
Gabriel looked at his adopted daughter. That's what she'd become to him over the past couple of years. "What? No!" he shook his head, though he couldn't quite believe the words, but it was out of his hands. If Dean pushed Sam hard enough, the younger Winchester could very well buckle under the pressure. - But Gabriel had no intention of giving the stubborn Sasquatch up without a fight. "What makes you think...? No."
Claire met his gaze and Gabriel's heart tightened at the gleam of tears n them. "I know...what Dean's like. How pig-headed, possessive and domineering he can be, especially towards Sam. - You're the only family I have, Gabriel, I don't want to lose you too."
Gabriel shifted quickly across the bed, pulling the teenager into a tight hug, his face buried in her soft blond locks. Hushing her, rocking her. "Hey, you're not going to lose me... Or Sammy. No matter what happens, kiddo. You're our girl now." he pressed a lingering kiss to her temple, closing his eyes to savour the scent; hoping and praying he could keep that promise.
_What Doesn't Kill You_
"Morning."
Sam looked up from the pile of books and papers spread out in front of him. He hadn't even been aware that Dean was back, but then he hadn't been aware of much of anything since he started searching the men of letters papers, trying to figure out the bunkers inner workings. He'd been at it since before dawn, when he'd woken up in the unfamiliar bed, not that it was uncommon with their lifestyle, but since settling down he always had trouble sleeping when away from the warmth of Gabriel's body next to him. - He wasn't sure what had caused him to wake, except perhaps curiosity and eagerness to discover the secrets of his legacy. "Morning. What time did you get back?" he asked casually, flicking a page in a thick binder.
"I don't know..." Dean shrugged. "Just before dawn."
Sam's gaze flickered up to him for a brief moment before going back to the table top.
Dean moved towards the table, his eyes flickering to what Sam was studying. "The water pressure in this letter's shower room is marvellous." he announced.
"Yeah." Sam smirked at the page, the memory of having Gabriel in the shower the previous evening. He doubted Dean would want to know that, despite the temptation to tell him, but he really wasn't' in the mood of another argument. "I still can't figure out how we even have water, or electricity." he pushed his chair away and marched over to one of the shelves.
Dean shrugged as he admired a scimitar that was being displayed. "Yeah well, I am putting that under the 'ain't broke' column. Listen little brother..."
Sam glanced over at him with narrowed eyes; that was Dean's patronizing tone. He only called him little brother when he was about to try and order him around, or break bad news. Sam watched and waited.
"Let's not go all geek on this stuff, okay?"
Sam sighed, walking back to the table. "Geek?" he scoffed over his shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, this stuff is awesome." he reassured, lifting the sword from its stand and swinging it a few times. "Huh, and it looks like they ran a real tight outfit here, but I'm just saying, you know, don't think that they knew some big secrets that we don't know."
Sam stared at is brother, bewildered by the man's stupidity. He rolled his eyes. "Dean, they were a secret society."
"Which means that they made crap up, and wore fezzes and sashes...and swung around scimitars, they probably don't even sharpen..." he dragged his thumb across the blade and winced, "It's very sharp."
Sam scoffed, shaking his head as Dean put the sword back in the cradle. "Dean, look, I think we might have something here. Something that could help us, help humanity. Henry certainly thought so. - I mean, you know damn well we could use a break. What if we finally got one?" he stated earnestly, his eyes meeting Dean's almost pleadingly. Inhaling slowly thought his nose, Sam went back to the plans. "You gonna take off the dead guy robe?"
"Oh please, don't." A voice interrupted from the corridor. "So the cat finally threw you up. Enjoy your evening with the local skanks? What time did you finally get in?"
Dean turned to glare at Gabriel, watching as he carried two mugs to the table Sam was sat at. "Blow me."
Gabriel wrinkled his nose. "No thanks, I have more than enough Winchester to fill my mouth as it is." he taunted, running his fingers through Sam's hair with a seductive smirk. "Maybe you could call my baby bro to help you with that. - Or go back to which ever cheap motel room you left..."
"Gabriel, shut up." Sam growled, looking between his lover and his brother, Dean's face a dangerous shade of red.
"No, please, carry on." Dean growled. "Give me a reason to knock that smug grin off your face. You're not untouchable now, Gabe." he sneered.
Sam sighed warily, so tired of the constant battle between Dean and Gabriel. Tired of being trapped between them. "Dean, please just..."
"Bring it on Winchester." Gabriel grunted, putting his mug on the table and taking a step closer to the older hunter.
Dean laughed as he moved to meet him, his fingers curling into a fist and his feet planted, ready to attack.
Sam quickly shoved his way between them, pushing at both their chests. "Enough! I've had enough!" he warned.
"Just keep out of my face." Dean threatened, "And keep your..." he glanced between them. "Stuff in your room."
"Fuck you, Dean-o." Gabriel spat. "This is our home now, thanks to you, and if I want to bend your baby brother over every god-damn surface in this place and fuck him black and blue, I god-damn will!"
"Gabriel!" Sam yelled, his face red and his dick twitching despite his anger. When he glanced back at Dean, his brother was pale.
Dean dived forward, intent on getting to the ex-angel, his fist raised. Sam stepped protective in front of Gabriel and held his arm to ward off his brother.
"Let him try Sammy." Gabriel scoffed, as Sam backed Dean up, his hands pressed to Dean's shoulder.
"Shut up, Gabriel!" he yelled. "Stop antagonising him, now, or have you forgotten you're human now!" he stated meaningfully before looking back to Dean. "And you, he's right, this is our home now and if you think we're going to hid away in our room so we don't hurt your delicate sensibilities, well you're dead wrong, Dean. I've had to watch you flirt, making out and fuck half the female population of America, you'll just have to deal with me kissing my boyfriend. - Besides, you're the one who wanted him to take on the trials, so suck it up and get off our backs!"
Dean glared at him angrily, his fists still a clenched tight. He growled low in his throat and shook off Sam's hold, turning to leave, his feet slapping the polished floor violently.
Sam watched his brother leave and dragged his hand thought his hair in frustration, taking a long deep calming breath before turning to face Gabriel. "You need to quit it."
"Me?" Gabriel scoffed, his brows tightly knitted.
"Yes, you. Stopped pushing his buttons. I know he can be a jerk and I know he's been giving you a hard time since he found out about us, but I'm asking you to let it go. Whatever he says to you, just let it go, cause while you keep pushing and rubbing the salt in about Cas." he growled. "He's never going to accept you. - Or us."
"He'll never accept us anyway, Sammy. He just thinks this..." Gabriel waved between them. "...is some phase you're going through. That you're with me because I'm convenient! That you'll never love me, not the way you loved her!" Gabriel inhaled shapely as he realised what he'd said. He turned away quickly, grabbing his mug and vanishing before the shock wore off.
Sam stared at the empty space in front of him, Gabriel's words rolling around in his head, the echo of hurt, fear and resignation ringing in his ears. What that what they really thought? He frowned, running his hand though his hair with a regretful sigh. Why wouldn't they think that? Why would he think that? It wasn't as if Sam had said or done anything to make his feelings clear. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, reaching for his chair and crumpling into it, his head dropping into his hands.
The thing was he couldn't tell them. He could barely admit it to himself most of the time. Every time he tried, the words got lodged, making it hard to breath, to think. Every time the words so much as crossed his mind, he saw fire and blood. - He was scared, scared to go through that all again. It had been why he'd fought so long against the attraction, because opening up to someone again would lead to more pain, more fire and death. He couldn't', he wasn't ready to peel back that Band-Aid and risk the wound. - Especially now.
"Sam?"
He looked up to see Claire and Riot both staring at him, sadness and concern in both their eyes. "Hey, where you guys been?"
Claire shrugged. "Exploring. - What's going on?"
Sam heard the anger tainting her voice. "Nothing, it's fine. - What you find?" he asked, hoping to distract them from the cloud of tension still hovering over the room.
Claire shot him a tight smile. "The garage."
"Huh?" Sam frowned.
"It's huge. It's got a dozen cars just hanging around. You want to see?"
Sam pushing himself out of his seat, nodding. "Yeah."
He'd deal with Gabriel and Dean later, let them calm down, and let the storm settle. Right now, for possibly the first time in his life, he was more interested in cars.
_What's Doesn't Kill You_
Gabriel dropped back against the mattress, swearing at the ceiling. He couldn't believe he'd said that. Confessed Dean's words to him after weeks of keeping it to himself. - He dragged his hands thought his hair and growled at himself. What had made it so much worse was the sound of his voice; pathetic, desperate for reassurance. Reassurance that hadn't come.
Did he really think Sam was using him like Dean had said? Honestly, yes. A part of him did believe that, but then hadn't he used Sam too? At the beginning. He'd been lost and scared, flooded with emotions. So intense he'd almost drowned beneath the torrent. He'd grabbed onto the nearest life preserver and held on, praying for rescue. - And maybe he'd held on too tight or for too long before those feelings of security and...whatever else you wanted to call it, became so deeply imbedded that it was a part of him. So easily swallowing him whole.
He'd tried to fight it at the beginning, then when he'd seen the pain it was putting Sam though, he'd fought against the tide and finally let go. He'd almost drowned as a result. He hadn't expected Sam to come back. Hoped, prayed, but never really expect it. Maybe that was why when he did, when he took that first step into their relationship, Gabriel hadn't allowed himself to hold on too tight, always waiting for him to slip away again.
Maybe that was why Dean's words had cut so deep, because he knew they were time. Sam didn't love him, couldn't love him. He was just a way to keep afloat, to hold off the almost overpowering tide of fury and darkness that made up the Winchesters lives. He wasn't her, Jessica. He wasn't the one Sam would chose to spend the rest of his life with. He was just the guy, the body, which offered Sam shelter and sanctuary. Sam may come for him but he could never love him.
Gabriel swallowed the pain of that truth and rolled onto his side, dragging the pillow to his face, inhaling slowly and wincing at Sam's lingering scent. His throat convulsively thickly as his eyes began to sting, forcing him to close them tight.
Maybe this was his father's punishment, his own just deserts. I have to get my spiteful streak from somewhere. He contemplated miserably.
A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, I really appreciate it. Feedback is always welcome and valued.
