The words echoed in his mind, their uncertain origin making his heart unable to rest within the sincere, but possibly false, assurances. Doubt crept in, bringing worry along with it, knowing that, regardless of intention, the words hadn't sprung from nothing.

The utterance, even if it had previously only lived deep down and away, had to be a manifestation of pain that carried the potential to grow and flourish within the silence of suffering.


"What's going on, Steve? Soda's sleeping."

Steve reached for Darry's arm, leading him away from the front door. "Are you sure he's asleep?"

Darry nodded, concern growing within him. "Yeah. I just checked on him. Pony's in there too. I guess he decided to climb in after Soda went to sleep, so he couldn't argue."

Steve dropped down on the porch swing, the words to start eluding him. "I have to talk to you, Darry. Cause I'm afraid of what could happen if I don't. I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm not..."

Darry sat down beside Steve and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Is this about Soda?"

Steve held his head in his hands, taking a deep breath that did nothing to settle him. "Yeah. I went home earlier, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I got him to talk a little, but he said something that won't get out of my head."

"Okay. What did he say to you? If you came back here just to talk to me, I know you have a reason."

"Maybe it doesn't mean anything, but I don't know. I just can't see how it couldn't."

"Steve, if you're worried about Soda for any reason, just tell me. Even if it turns out to be nothing, I'd rather know."

"He said he wished he would've just killed him."

Darry's hand dropped from Steve's shoulder, an electric shock of grief striking him just at this thought. "Why would he say that? If he had died-"

Steve saw Darry put a hand over his chest, empathizing with the ache. He touched his older friend's shoulder. "I know. I almost started shaking him when he said it. I wasn't expecting that at all."

"What did you say to him?"

"Not to ever say that cause losing him would destroy all of us. But I couldn't stop there. He said he didn't mean it, but I'm scared to think of how saying something like that, it doesn't come from nowhere, you know?"

"No, I wouldn't think that it could. So if you didn't stop there, what else did you two talk about?"

"I got him to tell me a little about the flashbacks. Not much, but he admitted what's been happening."

"That seems like a step in the right direction."

"Yeah. I think so too. After he said what he did, I told him I wasn't dropping it." Steve stood to his feet, going to lean against the porch railing. "But we talked about more than that because I had to tell him something. Cause if he can say that or even think it..."

Darry went to stand beside Steve, laying a hand on his back. "Does it make you think Soda could hurt himself?"

Steve's eyes filled with tears that he didn't attempt to hide. "It makes me wonder if he's thought of it. So I told him to promise me he'll tell somebody if he ever feel like that, and I made sure he knows he can tell me too. He doesn't have to hide it from me just cause of what I went through."

"So did he promise he would?"

"Yeah. And he told me he isn't thinking that at all. But I don't know. I'm not saying I don't believe him. I just can't help but be afraid he could think about killing himself cause of what he said he wished and because of the flashbacks."

Darry felt tears also rise up in his eyes, as he imagined Soda actually saying those dark, wishful words that could only come from a place of pain. "I know what else you're thinking, Steve. Soda hasn't been totally straight with us about anything, has he?"

"No. He damn sure hasn't. Don't get me wrong, Darry. I don't blame him for it. He's just trying to deal, and it's a lot. A lot that happened too fast."

"And he's terrible at hiding things. He can't even really do it at all. It's Sodapop, and he needs to talk about what's going on with him. The truth always comes out of him somehow, even when he doesn't mean for it to."

Steve's gaze met Darry's, both pairs of eyes shining with unshed tears. "Exactly, Superman. Exactly."


The masked man pulled the trigger, releasing the bullet into the air.

Soda whimpered in his sleep, moving beneath the covers.

The bullet tore into his flesh.

Soda shook, though his eyes remained closed tight.

Blood poured from the wound.

Soda felt a head on his shoulder, as he tossed and turned.

Darry's voice spoke. His jacket covered the bullet hole, soaking up the blood.

Soda opened his eyes and saw Pony beside him. He lifted his right arm, seeing only the bandage that covered it, no sign of the blood. He tucked his head against his little brother's, eyes searching the room. Go back to sleep, he told himself. You're fine.

Soda's gaze landed on the window, his memories concocting a vision. He tossed his arm over Pony, clutching the blanket over them, as the black mask danced along the glass, its only backdrop the mysterious dark of night.


"Thank you for telling me about this, Steve."

Steve, not even wanting Darry's gratitude, lifted a hand to wipe his eyes. "You don't have to say that, Darry. It's Soda. What else would I do? It worries me so bad, I was almost sick."

Darry drew Steve into a hug, surprised when the younger man melted into it. "I'm going to talk to him too. Just to see what all's going on in his head and to make sure he knows he can share anything he feels." Darry looked through the front window, the view of the house's inside lit up only by the porch light. "No matter what it is."


"Damn, it's bright outside."

Nicholas watched Steve stumble into the kitchen, eyes squinting at the sun that was shining through the window. "Yeah. The sun gets like that in the mornings."

Steve huffed out a breath, rolling his eyes. "Why are you such a smartass?"

"Have you met my son? I learned from him."

"I'm really not in the mood, Dad."

"All right, Son. I'll save it for later. So did you end up sleeping okay after you talked to Darry?"

"Not too bad, I guess. I still keep thinking about it. I mean, even just hearing Soda say what he did about the flashbacks, that was hard cause I get it, and I wish he didn't have to know what those are like. But the rest of it... I'm not even sure what to do with that."


"I knew you were there, Pone. I saw you when I woke up once."

Pony picked up a slice of bacon, placing it on his plate, as he replied to Soda. "Was that okay with you?"

Soda poured maple syrup over his eggs and bacon. "Yeah. It was more than okay. You didn't have to, but I'm glad you were there with me."

"Did you have anymore nightmares? I never heard anything."

Soda blinked, as he recalled the dream that had awakened him and the image of the mask. "Um, yeah. But it wasn't as bad. I just went right back to sleep."


The basketball bounced on the pavement, before Steve lifted it into the air, his hands sending it straight into the hoop.

Soda saw the ball drop to the ground, before going to retrieve it. He kept his right arm at his side, making use of his left hand to dribble, though he found it took more effort.

Steve nodded toward Soda's injured arm. "How's it feeling today?"

"Just kind of sore, but I don't think I should do too much with it, you know? Dr. Simons told me to be careful, and I don't want to make anything worse."

"How are the other symptoms?"

Soda held the ball, moving it from one hand to the other. "They sort of come and go. I, um, have a hard time holding onto stuff sometimes. I dropped a mug of hot chocolate yesterday."

Steve caught the ball after Soda bounced it to him. "I'm sorry, man. Is it because your hand hurts?"

"It just felt weak then. But sometimes, my fingers hurt, so it's hard to do certain things when it shouldn't be."

Steve walked over to the nearest bench, sitting down on it, as he turned the basketball over in his hands. "Um, Soda, I wasn't going to tell you this. But I feel like I'm not being honest with you if I don't, and I don't like that at all."

Soda made his way over to the bench, taking a seat beside Steve. "What are you talking about?"

"Last night I went back over to your house, and I talked to Darry."

"But why?"

"Cause of what you said to me, buddy."

"But I told you it just slipped out, and I didn't mean it. I didn't want Darry to know about that."

"I'm sorry, Sodapop. I had to."

"What did he say?"

"That's he's going to talk to you. That's all." Steve laid a hand on Soda's back, as he watched the changing expressions on his face. "He's not upset with you or anything, man."

"You didn't have to do that, Steve. I told you I'm not thinking about killing myself. I just said something I didn't mean. It's not a big deal."

"You've been saying that about everything."

"So? Are you saying you don't believe me?"

Steve looked at Soda's eyes, the pain in them and the disappointment in his voice almost making him backtrack. "I'm saying you haven't exactly been telling the truth about things lately, buddy."

"You're one to talk about that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't always tell the truth either. When you first started feeling bad cause of what you went through, you weren't totally honest about it."

"And that didn't help me, did it?"

"For years, I didn't even know you'd been abused cause you didn't tell me."

"Soda, that's different. You know it's different."

"You keep telling me I need to talk about what happened to me too. But I don't want to think about it. I don't want to remember it." Soda's chest heaved with deep breaths, his voice getting louder with each plea. "If it's different, why can't I bury this and forget about it? You tried, so let me try too!"

"If you're having flashbacks, buddy, you're not going to just forget what happened."

"Because you guys won't let me do it! Not Darry, not Pony. Not even you, Steve. But you should just give me a chance. Maybe the flashbacks will stop, and I won't feel anything anymore."

"Soda, you're forgetting something here. I didn't have a choice but to try to forget what happened to me. As much as I love my dad and forgive him for it, that was the choice he made. And he'll tell you it wasn't the right one. I'm the last person who's going to give you a chance at this because I know how much more it'll hurt if you keep trying to act like it's okay when you know it's not."

"But I'm not you, Stevie. Maybe I'll be fine. I told the cop what happened. I admitted to Darry that it's bothering me. I told you I have the flashbacks. That's all I needed."

"I'm glad you did all of that, man. But it's going to take more. You're not ready. Let me tell you something though. You wouldn't be saying all this to me or trying so damn hard if you didn't believe what I've said and what Darry's said. It'll take some time, but you're going to come around." Steve handed the basketball that was in his lap to Soda. "Here. Let's shoot some more hoops, before I have to go to work."

Soda took the ball, holding it with both hands. "Just so you know, I'm not mad at you for talking to Darry. I tried to be, but I can't."

Steve clapped Soda on the shoulder. "Good. I don't want you to be mad at me. I didn't do it to hurt you."

Soda stood to his feet, the ball in his hands, as he looked up at the goal. "Do you really think I'll come around and not be- I don't know. Like this? It's like I'm hearing you guys, but I can't. I just can't."

Steve nodded, as he also got to his feet. "You mean do I think you'll stop being such a pain in the ass?"

Soda smiled, as he dribbled the ball. "Hey! I am not being a pain in the ass. You are!"

"Nah. You are, and I don't know if you'll stop, but as for coming around" Steve paused, meeting Soda's gaze, as his tone became one of sincerity. "I think you're already getting there."


Darry's fingers tapped the table in front of him, as he glanced at the newspaper he'd tossed to the side because he couldn't focus on it. He looked up and saw Soda about to hang up the telephone. "Hey, little buddy, was that Penny you were talking to?"

Soda nodded, as his hand left the receiver in its cradle. "Yeah. She wants to do something tonight."

"So are you?"

"I don't know if I really feel like it, but I told her we could."

"You should. Do you know where Pony is?"

"He said he was going to go hang out with his friend, Michael. You know, that's the one we met a couple of months ago."

"Oh, yeah. I remember. Actually, that might be good cause I want to talk to you, and I think it just needs to be the two of us."

"Steve told me he came and talked to you last night, Dar."

Darry touched the chair next to his. "Come sit down with me, little buddy."

Soda did as he was asked, his eyes moving up to Darry, then down to the table. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to say I wished he'd killed me."

"Then, why'd you say it?"

"I don't know. I guess I was frustrated. I was telling Steve some stuff, and he told me it was bullshit, and he just wanted me to tell the truth. I felt upset, and it just came out."

"Upset with Steve?"

"Not really. Just upset with everything. I'm sorry, Dar. I know I shouldn't have talked like that, especially not when you saved me. I'm glad you did. Please don't think I'm not."

"You know you can tell me anything, right, Sodapop? Anything you think or feel? Even if it's hard, I want to hear it."

"I know, Darry. How could I not know that after what you keep telling me about wanting to help?"

Darry leaned closer to Soda, putting a hand on his arm. "I know Steve told you this too, but if you even think about hurting yourself or-"

"You don't even have to say it. I'm not thinking about hurting myself. I guess I can see why you guys could think that, but I'm not." Soda sighed and squeezed Darry's hand that still rested on his arm, as he shifted his gaze away from that of his big brother, his mind wandering to his prayer the night before. "That's not what's happening."


"What are you staring at, Dad?"

Nicholas shook his head, moving his gaze away from the auburn haired woman near the front of the church. He turned to Steve, responding to his question. "Nothing. I was just, uh, thinking about what Samuel said up there today."

Steve saw Nicholas' eyes drift back in the direction he'd been staring, and he smiled. "She's Samuel's sister."

"Huh? Who is?"

"The woman you keep staring at. She's Samuel's sister."

"Oh. Uh, I hadn't noticed her. I'm not staring."

"You are too, Dad! Why don't you just go talk to her?"


"So I heard your dinner with Audrey and Steve went well."

Nicholas saw the big smile on Samuel's face, able to imagine exactly what his friend knew about the previous evening. "Oh, yeah? Then, you must also know it's a very good thing I love my son dearly."

Samuel chuckled, recalling his earlier conversation with Audrey and what she'd told him about Steve. "He knows it too, or he wouldn't joke around or tease you like that. It really sounds like fun."

"It was. Even if he did embarrass me, which I know he meant to do. I love seeing him like that, so that makes up for it. I'm so relieved he's okay with me dating anyone, he can make fun all he wants."


"It seems like you've been inside a lot. I'm sure you needed some fresh air."

Soda grinned at Penny, as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Yeah. I probably did. I'm sorry this ain't a real date."

Penny shifted, her eyes looking up at Soda's face. "What do you mean?"

"I just mean I'm sorry I couldn't spend any money cause I don't know when I'm going to be able to go back to work."

"It's okay, Sodapop. I just want to see you and talk to you."

Soda, seeing the setting sun in the sky, leaned in to kiss Penny on the lips. He felt her pull him closer, deepening the kiss, as her hands moved along his back and through his hair, and he forgot the world around him.


"Nicholas, I'd like you to meet my sister."

Nicholas found himself stammering in reply to Samuel's words. "Oh. Um, hi." He put his hand out for Audrey to shake. "I'm Nicholas."

Audrey shook Nicholas' hand. "Hi, I'm Audrey. Samuel's told me a lot about you."

Nicholas looked at Samuel, then back at Audrey. "Uh, he has? Like- like what?"

Samuel touched Nicholas' shoulder, easily reassuring his friend. "Nothing bad. Just about you and Steve coming to church, how we talk, and stuff like that."

Nicholas nodded, realizing he'd implied something he hadn't meant. "Oh. Not that there is anything bad to tell, I promise."

Audrey smiled at Nicholas. "I didn't think there was. I'm here visiting Samuel for a little bit. If things work out, I might be moving to Tulsa."


"We should hang out like this more often, Dar."

Darry caught the football Pony had tossed to him. "Yeah. We should, Pone."

Pony watched the football fly through the air, backing up to catch it. "You know what happened to Steve, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what made him go through the stuff he did, why he tried to kill himself. I was talking to him about Soda's nightmares cause I know he's had them too, and he said he dreams about something that happened to him."

"I do know. Not everything, but I know why he went through so much."

"Was it something really bad? It must be, or somebody would've told me by now."

"Yeah. It's bad, Pone."

"I told Soda once that I didn't want him to tell me why Steve was having such a rough time cause I know Steve trusts him. Soda wouldn't do that to him if he didn't want me to know. I'm still fine with that, but I just wonder sometimes now. Especially with how it affected Soda."

"If you want to know, maybe Steve will tell you. You two seem to be better with each other than you used to be, so you should just ask him."


Soda pulled away from the kiss, the setting sun still in the sky, as he felt Penny's hands on his chest. "I think we should stop. I have a lot of respect for you, Penny, and I don't want us to go too far."

Penny put her hand on Soda's cheek, as she searched his brown eyes, seeing within them the person he was inside. "Okay, Sodapop. Thank you for that."

"I'm not sure how to explain it. I just think we're good taking things slow, and I don't want to lose that. I want to know you and not get hung up on being physical."

"You're really sweet, you know that?" Penny put her hand over Soda's and laid her head on his chest, cuddling close to him. "I care about you a lot, and I think maybe I could love you."

Soda stroked the back of Penny's head, enjoying the feel of her body so close to his and the sound of her softly spoken words. "I care about you a lot too." But be careful if you start loving me, he thought. Cause I don't want to hurt you.


"Darry, what the hell happened? I know there's been a lot of stuff no one wants to tell me, but the way Soda looked just then, I need to know!"

Darry closed Pony's bedroom door, wiping the remaining tears from his own eyes. He approached his youngest brother, guiding him to sit beside him on the bed. "I know that, Ponyboy. I told you I'd tell you what happened, and I meant it."

Pony studied Darry's face, a sadness there he hadn't often seen on his big brother. "What happened to Steve? Why was Soda crying like that?"

"Steve tried to kill himself earlier today."

"What? Why would he do that?"

Darry touched Pony's shoulder. "Steve's been going through a lot, Pone. He's been struggling with thoughts about hurting himself for a while. He's been dealing with it and coping, but he got too overwhelmed."

"So what did he do to himself?"

"He overdosed on some pills. Enough to make himself sick. He called his dad, and he came and took him to the emergency room."

"And you're sure he's going to be okay?"

"Yes. If Steve had waited too long, he could've done some serious damage, but he got help in time."

Pony felt a surge of grief, the result of knowing how close their gang, their family, had come to losing someone else.

"You okay, Pone?"

"No. I'm not. Darry, he's Soda's best friend. And I know Steve and me aren't exactly close, but I don't want to think about him hurting like that. Or about him dying."

"I know. But he's not dying."

"Is Soda okay?"

"Not really. But I'm not expecting him to be. With everything going on with Steve, he was already afraid of something like this happening. It's going to take him a while."

Pony threw his arms around Darry, squeezing him tight. "I'm so glad Steve's okay. I don't want to lose anybody else. Soda couldn't stand it, and I couldn't either."

Darry hugged Pony back, closing his eyes, as he stroked the back of his head. "I know, little brother. I know."

"Steve couldn't really have wanted to die, could he?"

"I don't know, Pone. But I think whatever he was feeling in that moment must have made him believe that's what he wanted."


The cash register key slid into the lock on the drawer, Steve's hand turning it to the right to secure the money inside.

He felt a shiver, goosebumps rising on his skin, as he looked around the station, then out the windows that gave him a view of the dark and empty parking lot, the appearance of calm outside now seeming eerie. "If it bothers me, what's it going to be like for Soda?"


Darry stepped onto the front porch, seeing the glowing ember of a lit cigarette in Soda's hand. He went to stand beside his brother, noticing how his eyes moved from one end of the yard to the other, as if searching the night. "Looking for something, little buddy?"

Soda put the cigarette out, his gaze fixed on the wandering shadows that characterized the late hour. "Nah. I just hate not being able to see in the dark."


"You should've seen the look on your face when you were talking to her, Dad."

Nicholas watched the road in front of him, pretending he didn't know the meaning of Steve's comment. "When I was talking to who?"

Steve rolled his eyes from his place in the passenger seat. "Seriously? I'm talking about Audrey, Dad."

"Oh. What kind of look was on my face?"

"I don't know. Like you were just amazed or something, and I could hear you stumbling all over your words."

"I didn't even know you were there."

"Of course you didn't."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean you weren't exactly noticing anybody else."

"Hey, I knew Samuel was standing there."

"Because he brought Audrey over to introduce you two. You like her. I can see it."

"I do not!"

"She is pretty."

"Well, yeah, I suppose..."

"You should ask her out, Dad."

"Ask her out? She doesn't even live here."

"She might be though. If she moves here, will you ask her out?"

"I don't- I don't even like her like that. She's Samuel's sister. I- I don't even know her."

Steve smiled at his dad's denial and his stammering speech, the truth clear. "But I think you would like to."


"Hey, Son, I meant to tell you Audrey had fun last night."

Steve, head on his pillow, looked toward his dad, who stood in the doorway. "Good. Cause I did too."

Nicholas went into the room, perching on the edge of Steve's bed. "So did I. And I think you're right."

"About what?"

"I do feel like I'm falling in love with her."


The pages of Steve's Bible turned, stopping in 1 Samuel 18.

Soda was beside him, following along with Pastor David, as he read aloud:

"When he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would not let him return to his father's house. Then, Jonathan made a covenant with David, because Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his girdle."


"Hi, Nicholas, it's good to see you again."

Nicholas stared at Audrey's smile. "It's good to see you too. How are you?"

Audrey picked her Bible up from the pew and stood to her feet. "I'm okay. Actually, I'm going to be moving here to Tulsa in two weeks, so I've been busy."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Samuel's helping me, but it's still a lot to do."

"So are you going to be here at church more often then?"

"I hope to be. I like it here. I like seeing you too."


The Queen, Jack, and ten of clubs were put down next to the King of the same suit, before Steve discarded a three of diamonds.

Soda picked up the three and played it along with an Ace and two of diamonds. "I kind of hate to bring this up again, but I think I owe you an apology, man."

Steve drew a card, adding it to his hand. "For what?"

"For what I said to you at the park about how you didn't tell me about the abuse. I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, buddy. It's true. I didn't tell you for a long time."

"Yeah. But I know why, and it really is different from anything else. I hope I didn't hurt you by saying that."

"You didn't, man. I knew where you were coming from. We're good." Steve decided to change the subject, as he put down a nine, ten, and Jack of hearts. "I didn't even get to tell you yet about the dinner with my dad and Audrey."

"I'm sorry. That's my fault for everything else I've been talking about. I didn't even ask you about it that night, and I should have. It's important."

Steve, his mind anywhere but on the game, set his hand of cards down on the floor. "Sodapop, there's nothing for you to be sorry for, man. You can stop beating yourself up."

Soda looked down at the cards in his hand. "Sorry, I-"

"Stop, buddy. You've been through a lot lately. I know how that is and how it can make you feel bad. But give yourself a break, and listen to me tell you how much fun I had teasing my dad Friday night."


"I'm sorry, Vivian. I'm just having a hard time thinking about these things. We can do the nursery however you want, honey."

Vivian felt her excitement diminish at Samuel's words. She placed a hand on her belly, as she tried to form a response. "But you said you would help me get ready."

Samuel looked at his wife, all the love he had for her evident in his face. "I know. But I'm feeling stuck, and I'm not sure how to get away from that."


Soda's laughter reverberated through his heart, making him feel lighter than he had in a while. "That's great, man. I bet your dad did want to throw you out in the backyard by then!"

Steve laughed along with Soda, the recent memory one he knew he wanted to keep. "Oh, but he'd never do that in front of Audrey! Right as I left to go to your house, I couldn't help myself. I told her I think he's falling in love with her, and my dad got so red, he looked like a damn tomato. It reminded me of when I first told him I knew he liked her."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing! I left before he could say anything. But I think he was too stunned anyway."

"Man, it's a good thing you two are so close now."

"Yeah. Next time Audrey comes over though, he might take me up on my offer to get lost!"


Vivian picked up the mobile, touching the shiny yellow and green stuffed stars that hung from it. She turned the dial, hearing the buzzing, as the music box was wound up.

The melody of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" began to play, making Vivian remember how she used to sing that to Matthew, while rocking him to sleep. She listened to the soft song, as a prayer came from her heart: "God, I miss him so much, but I can't wait to be a mom again. I can't wait to hold this baby in my arms."


"Hey, Soda, hurry up in there. I gotta take a piss!"

Soda felt Pony's words pass through him, trying to ignore the shiver in his body. He rinsed the soap from his hands, the warm water moving over his skin.

"Hey, Pony, you finish that math yet? I don't have all night!"

Soda sucked in a breath, as he turned off the water, then dried his hands with a towel. He opened the bathroom door, coming face to face with Pony. "Oh. Sorry, Pone. I didn't, uh, mean to take so long in there."

Pony waved him off, as he went into the bathroom. "Ain't a big deal."

Soda stared at the closed bathroom door for a moment, before he heard the slam of another door, the sound making him jump.

"Hey, Sodapop, I'm going to head home in a minute, but-"

Soda held a hand against his chest, able to feel his heart pounding through his shirt, his eyes closed tight in response to the onslaught of reminders.

"What's going on, little buddy?"

"Hey, Darry, I'm almost done with the math. Soda, what's wrong?"

Soda heard the voices, but couldn't respond, the sounds and images within his memories eclipsing reality.

"Buddy, just breathe for right now. Don't try to say anything yet."

"Sit down, Pepsi Cola. You're okay."

Soda felt himself being guided to the couch, his breathing anything but steady, as the deep voice of his nightmares mingled with those of the present.

"What's wrong with him? He's sweating like crazy."

"Open your eyes and look at me, Sodapop. Everything is okay."

Soda opened his eyes to see the faces of Darry, Pony, and Steve, but he shook his head, as the image of the mask joined them. He whimpered and hid his face, flinching away from the touch when a hand rested on his shoulder.

"He's shaking so much, Darry."

"He's going to be all right, Pone. Just give him a few minutes."

Soda, his breathing calmer, attempted to speak. "Yeah, Pony. I'm okay. I'll be okay." He heard his own reassurances, though they seemed hollow when his memories remained at the forefront, pulling him back in time. "I see it. I don't want to see it."

"Open your eyes again, buddy. Please. Remember what you've helped me do? What Laura said?"

Soda nodded, as he felt the hand on his shoulder again and another on his back. Accepting the touch, needing it, he opened his eyes once more and resisted the urge to close them.

"Tell me what you see, buddy. What's right here? Who's here with you?"

Soda felt a hand take his own and squeezed it, as he let his eyes look around. "You guys are here. No one else."

"That's right, little buddy. You're safe."

"Yeah, Soda. We'd never hurt you. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Soda leaned back against the couch and looked up, then down. "It's the living room. I'm on the couch. I see- I see the TV and the window over there."

"There you go, man. Nothing is happening to you right now. They're just memories."

Soda let his gaze move to see the eyes of his brothers and his best friend, their presence and touches grounding him, even as he felt his world lapsing into the unforgiving grip of a night he couldn't begin to forget.


"Hey, Steve, hang on a minute!"

Steve stopped beside his car when he heard Pony's voice calling out to him. "What's up, Kid?"

Pony made his way over to Steve. "I've been wanting to ask you something already, but the way you were with Soda in there..."

"He's my best friend. I know how to help him with stuff."

"But what you were saying, it sounded like you knew exactly what to do for him."

"Cause I do, Kid."

"And you said something about how he's helped you."

"Cause he has."

"So what happened, Steve? What did you go through?"

Steve leaned back against his car, then looked directly at Pony. "Nothing that's really anything like what Soda just did but..."

Pony sensed the hesitation in Steve, as he didn't finish the thought. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have asked."

Steve took in a deep breath, making a decision. "Get in the car, Kid. We're going for a drive."