Grace weaved with time, granting warmth in the midst of anguish and deep connection, in spite of the agony. As time marched forward, empathy thrived, its power exceeding the distress inflicted by memories of the past, its light fighting the darkness.
"I don't know. I think moving here has worked out pretty well."
Nicholas feigned offense to Audrey's words. "Pretty well? You met me, didn't you?"
Audrey rolled her eyes, as she smiled. "Oh. You're wonderful. I was just thinking of my house, my job at the bookstore, things like that. I basically started over when I came here."
"You think I'm wonderful?"
"Absolutely." Audrey wound her arms around Nicholas' neck, her lips enveloping his in a kiss.
Nicholas leaned fully into it, his hands combing through her auburn hair.
"Hey! Check out the lovebirds!"
Nicholas groaned, as he pulled away from the kiss, recognizing TwoBit's voice. "Don't you have somewhere to be right now?"
TwoBit eyed Audrey up and down. "Sure do. Right here with this sexy lady."
Steve entered the house just in time to hear TwoBit's reply. "Like she'd give you the time of day."
TwoBit leaned on the counter, smiling at Audrey. "How 'bout it, baby? I'm older than I look."
Audrey burst out laughing, linking her arm with Nicholas'. "Sorry. You're cute. But I'm already taken."
Rain drops fell on the roof that sheltered the Curtis' front porch, as Soda sat in the center of it. He sorted through the envelopes that he'd just gotten from the mailbox, finding only bills and a bank statement among them. He got to his feet and took the stack of mail inside, the quietness of the house soon leading him back outside.
Soda, ignoring the rain, started down the porch steps and headed toward the sidewalk.
"You can see why we call him TwoBit. He definitely got his 'two-bits' worth in, didn't he?"
Audrey agreed with Steve's observation. "He sure did. I like him though. He's a trip."
Nicholas chimed in with his own thoughts. "I liked him better before he interrupted our kiss."
Steve nudged Nicholas, grinning at him. "I'm sure you'll have lots of time to kiss later, Dad. I can get lost." He glanced out the window, seeing Soda on the sidewalk, coming toward the house. "There's Sodapop. I'll be outside, and you two can go at it some more."
Nicholas raised an eyebrow. "Go at it? Geez, Son. It's just kissing. You make it sound like we're-" His face reddened, before he could finish. "Like we're, well, doing more than that."
Audrey felt herself blush, as she chuckled.
Steve pushed the front door open. "Aw, Dad. I don't want to think about you doing that. But, hey, if you-"
Nicholas interrupted, a hand up in protest. "Son, if you finish that sentence, I'm throwing you out in the rain."
Steve looked outside, assessing the weather, as Soda was coming up the porch steps. "It ain't raining that much. It might be worth it. I was just going to say if you want to, you should-"
Nicholas pushed Steve the rest of the way out the door, closing it behind him.
Steve laughed so hard, he couldn't stay upright, dropping to the ground beside the swing.
Soda smiled at Steve, the laughter contagious. "What happened, man? Your dad putting you out or something?"
Steve spoke through his laughter. "Something like that. Audrey's here."
"You were teasing him again, weren't you?"
"Oh, yeah. It's a blast too. I swear there's nothing else like it."
Soda plopped down beside Steve, glancing into the house. "Your dad looks happy with her."
"He is. I wouldn't tease him otherwise. It'd be no fun then."
Soda stood up and opened the door, sticking his head inside. "Hi, you two! How's your date going? Do we hear wedding bells?"
Nicholas rolled his eyes. "Not you too, Sodapop. I already caught it from both TwoBit and Steve today. I thought you were the nice one."
Steve joined in the banter. "Hey, he is the nice one. TwoBit tried to flirt with Audrey, and I was trying to talk about-"
Nicholas interrupted Steve yet again. "Son! You offered to get lost, so maybe you should."
Audrey spoke up next, laughing, as she talked to Soda. "I should've asked you Sunday, but how are you, Sodapop? And, by the way, I do think you're sweet."
Soda thought about his answer, realizing she didn't just ask by way of formality or greeting. "I'm getting there. It's hard, but I sure have all the support in the world."
"Hey, Dar, Soda did talk to you last night, right? He showed you what happened?"
Darry folded a pair of jeans and stacked them into a dresser drawer, as he responded to Pony's questions. "Yeah. He did, Pone. He told me about the stitches, and he showed me."
Pony put the notebook he was holding down on Darry's bed and sat next to it. "Did it make sense to you?"
"Yeah. It did, actually. With what's been happening, I can see how he'd be so caught up in what's going on in his mind that he's not aware of what he's doing."
"It scared me cause I came in, and he was trying to cover it up. When I asked him what happened, he tried to say nothing, but then I got a good look. He said he was having a hard time and trying to block out what was in his head. I'm not sure I understand what he meant by that."
"Soda was having flashbacks, Pone. That's what he meant. He was trying to block out the shooting and what he remembers."
"But what's that have to do with pulling on the stitches? He could've hurt himself a lot more than he did, and it could've gotten infected. He was just going to cover it back up too and not clean it or anything."
"You're right. It could've been worse, and I'm glad you didn't let him hide it. But I think the stitches and the wound were just there, Pone. He was alone, and he couldn't do anything to stop the flashbacks. I think he really didn't realize what he was doing until after the fact when he started to feel more in the present than the past."
"Steve told me that's happened to him. The flashbacks. He said he relived the abuse."
"Yeah. It's something he went through a lot. I remember him telling me about it right after it first happened. He didn't understand it then. He just knew it felt like his memories were attacking him."
"But isn't that the reason Steve tried to kill himself?"
"That's one reason, yes."
"Darry, you don't think Soda would do anything like that, do you?"
Darry sighed, as he came to sit down beside Pony. "No, I honestly don't, Pone."
"But what if he gets that bad too? He could, couldn't he?"
Seeing the panic on his little brother's face, Darry laid a hand on his back. "Listen to me, Ponyboy. Soda knows he can talk to me or Steve if he ever feels anything that could lead to that. I've talked with him about it already."
"But Steve knew he could go to Soda or his dad or something, right? And he still overdosed. He still could've died."
"But that doesn't mean Soda will do the same thing. It's not the same kind of situation. There was a lot more going on with Steve. Please don't worry. I'm keeping an eye on him. We'll all do anything we can to help him and take care of him. He knows we'll do whatever it takes."
The rain picked up speed, the drops of water falling at a faster pace, as Soda counted up his points for the latest card game. He tapped his foot on the porch, internally dancing to the tune in his mind.
Steve finishing tallying up his score, smiling at his best friend. "You look like you could start singing any minute, man."
Soda stacked up the cards, as he smiled back. "Yeah, I could, but you probably don't want to hear that." He started to whistle, the sound falling against the backdrop of the steady rain.
Steve took his own cards and Soda's, putting the deck back together. "Man, I haven't heard you whistle since just before I-" He looked up at Soda, as he stopped himself. "Nevermind."
Soda's whistling came to a halt, as his eyebrows went up in question. "Huh? Since before you what?"
"Since before I, uh..."
"What is it, Stevie?"
"Since before I left the DX that night."
"You mean the night I got shot? You can say it, man. I'm not going to flip out or anything like that."
"I guess it's just kind of weird for me to think about it too."
"I'm glad you left before anything happened. I sort of even remember thinking that."
"Yeah. Um, I was just at home. My dad was out with Audrey. I was on his case as soon as he got home."
"Yeah. You told me. You've stayed on his case ever since too."
"But after Darry called, the whole night changed."
"Yeah. It changed for me when I heard the bell. I didn't know who could be coming in that late. It's no wonder I about jumped out of my skin when I was at the DX to pick up my car and somebody came inside. It's hard to feel safe there." Soda picked up the deck of cards and split it in half, ignoring the slight ache in the fingers of his right hand, as he began to shuffle. "Or really anywhere at all."
"I'll see you on Friday night then."
Nicholas found himself staring into Audrey's eyes, not even comprehending her words. "Huh? When?"
Audrey kissed Nicholas' cheek, her fingers grazing his chest. "Friday night. I'll see you then."
"Oh! That's right. So what are we going to do?"
"How about we go out for pizza? Then, we'll just see after that."
"All right. Sounds nice. I'll miss you til then."
The rain poured, its steady sound the only noise, as Soda and Steve sat side by side on the porch swing. Steve watched Audrey's car pull away from the curb, the windshield wipers on high.
Nicholas came back across the yard, jogging to get out of the rain. He went up the porch steps, turning around to see Audrey's car approaching the end of the street.
Steve saw his dad's expression, an amused smile crossing his face. "Stop it, Dad. You're going to drool all over the porch."
Nicholas watched Audrey's car turn the corner, before looking at Steve. "I miss her already."
Steve put his feet on the ground, moving the swing slowly back and forth. "Hey, Dad, can we do something tonight? You know, like play a game and watch TV, like we have before?"
Nicholas expression changed to one of surprise. "What? No more teasing, Son?"
Steve rolled his eyes, his feet still moving the swing. "Nah. I'm taking a break. So how about it?"
Nicholas moved across the porch and patted Steve's shoulder. "Of course we can, Son." He turned to Soda. "Are you okay?"
Soda grinned at Nicholas, nodding slightly in response. "Sure. I think so."
Steve saw Nicholas head inside the house and lay his head back against the swing, listening to the rain. "Are you really okay? You've been quiet for a long time."
Soda shrugged. "I don't know. I guess."
"It's all right if you're not, you know."
Soda looked toward the yard, feeling the sound of the rain soothing him. "What I said earlier, it's true."
"What is?"
"About not really feeling safe anywhere now. I mean, it's not like we live where nothing bad happens anyway. But there's a big difference between somebody jumping you or starting a skin fight and a guy with a gun. I was never scared in my own bed at night because of what goes on in the streets around here."
"It is a big difference, man. And shit has calmed down a lot too since after, you know, everything with Johnny and Pony."
"Cause it got dangerous. We all found out how out of hand it could get, and that changed everything."
"Your appointment's at 1:15. So I'll leave work and come pick you up just before 1:00."
Soda nodded along with Darry's plan. "Okay, Dar. I'm hoping Dr. Simons will tell me I can go back to work soon. But I'm kinda worried too cause of what I did to those stitches."
Darry sympathized with the worry, as he reassured his brother. "I think he'll be able to take care of it, little buddy. You'll still heal. And it didn't look as bad when I changed out the bandage."
"I know. I don't just mean cause of that. I mean I don't want him to think I did it on purpose."
"Just explain what happened and what was going on. I'll be right there to help you."
"Geez, Dad, is that even a word?"
Nicholas placed the last tile on the Scrabble board, mentally counting up the word's points, as he replied to Steve's question. "I can get out the dictionary if you want."
Steve waved off the idea, as he shook his head. "Nah. I'll take your word for it."
"No pun intended?"
"Huh?"
"We're playing Scrabble, and you said you'd take my word for it."
"Oh! I didn't even catch that."
Nicholas wrote down the last of the words they'd played and added up the scores. "Looks like I win again."
"You always win this game, Dad."
"Hence the word 'again.'"
Steve picked a pillow up off the couch and threw it at Nicholas. "All right, smartass."
"Like I told you before, I learned from my son. So what do you want to do now? Just chill on the couch or-"
"Speaking of words, I've never heard you use 'chill' in that context, Dad."
"Hmm...'Context.' Now that could be a good one."
"See? I know some fancy words too."
"Well, I should hope so. You are going to graduate high school pretty soon."
Steve touched one of the Scrabble tiles, his finger moving the letter "P" among the colored squares. "Dad, can we, uh, just talk for a minute?"
"Of course."
"Soda told me tonight that he's glad I left the DX before the robbery happened. He said he remembers thinking that then too."
"That's good for you to hear, Son."
"I didn't tell him how I've felt about the fact that I left right before. I guess I kind of almost did. But I'm not sure if I should right now. He's just starting to get where he's talking about stuff."
"Well, I don't know this for sure, but maybe it could help Sodapop open up more, if you talk to him about that."
"Maybe. I'm not sure either."
"And I realize it's different, but you did say once that helping me through my pain helped you heal. Maybe the same could be true for Sodapop too."
"I really wasn't trying to do it, I swear. I hope I didn't make anything worse."
Dr. Simons, his hands covered in latex gloves, examined Soda's wound, as he listened to his explanation. "I don't think you made it worse, Sodapop. And I do believe you. But I am going to give you another round of antibiotics, just in case. Since you opened up the wound, it's going to take a little more time to heal, but that's honestly not my biggest concern."
Darry, his hand on Soda's shoulder, joined the conversation. "Then, what is your biggest concern?"
Dr. Simons removed his gloves and disposed of them, then addressed both brothers. "I'm most concerned about what you told me you're experiencing, Sodapop. Does this happen often?"
Soda looked at Darry, seeing his nod, before he answered the question. "Yeah. I feel like I'm back there, and it's all happening again. The day I pulled on the stitches was the only time I've been alone with it though."
Dr. Simons looked over his paperwork, noting the recent date of the shooting, as well as the day Soda was released from the hospital. "All right. Given that you experienced this trauma so recently, I think it's within the realm of a normal response for you to have episodes of flashbacks. Especially when I'm sure there are many reminders in your daily life."
Soda thought of his discussion with Officer Rhodes and about the day he went to the DX. "There are. I mean, sometimes, it's just little things, or I'm not even sure. But there have been a few times, the reason it happened is pretty obvious. Even just looking at my arm can bother me. And when it bled, it bothered me a lot."
Dr. Simons opened a drawer and pulled out a card, handing it to Soda. "This is the number for a counselor, who's dealt with similar situations. Or, if you prefer, you can call me, and I'll set something up for you. I'm not saying you have to call now. But if you continue to experience these episodes after several weeks have passed, or if they don't at least lessen in frequency and intensity, it could become necessary to speak to a professional."
"Hey, Kid. Shouldn't you be getting to your next class?"
Pony ignored the question, stepping closer to Steve, his voice quiet. "I know I'm probably bugging you, but I have to know something."
Steve heard what sounded like a hint of distress in Pony's tone and looked at his eyes, swearing he could see tears. "Um, whatever this is, we probably shouldn't do it here. But meet me at my car after school."
Dr. Simons' scissors cut the last knot of the stitches. "Okay. Just about done here."
Soda felt a slight tug, as the stitch was pulled out. "It didn't even hurt at all."
Dr. Simons smiled at the tone of Soda's voice, noticing the awe in it. "That's good. It means I'm doing it right. Now, you'll need to clean the area with soap and water daily. Just be very careful when you do. If you see swelling, redness, or anything that looks like puss coming out, or if you have a fever, please call me. Other than that, since the wound is partially open, I want you to keep it covered. I'll send you home with more bandages and supplies. The skin is still very delicate anyway because it's only just begun to heal, but I also say this because I don't want to risk you injuring it further."
Soda brought up the subject he was most curious about, even as thinking about it also set his nerves on edge. "When can I go back to work?"
Darry sighed, hesitant about Soda going to the DX just yet. "Little buddy, I-"
Soda didn't let his brother finish. "Darry, I have to go back sometime. Besides, it's not like I've done great at home by myself. It happened there too."
Dr. Simons responded to Soda's question with another of his own. "How are the symptoms we discussed before you were released from the hospital?"
Soda swallowed, looking at the currently uncovered healing wound and at his fingers. "Not any worse. They come and go. Some things are hard for me to do cause I can't always hold onto stuff so well. I still have the pain sometimes too."
Darry saw Soda's expression and laid a hand on his back in support. "The tests you mentioned, does he need to have those?"
Dr. Simons nodded, checking his paperwork for information. "Yes. Sodapop is already scheduled next week for an EMG, which is a test that measures electrical activity. It will be done alongside another complementary test known as a nerve conduction study that assesses nerve function. Plus, he'll have some bloodwork. These together should confirm if there is nerve damage and help me determine the best course of treatment."
Soda bit his bottom lip, the reality attempting to crash into him. "So I can't go back to work cause of that?"
Dr. Simons shook his head. "No. I'm not saying that at all, Sodapop. I just wanted to check in with you about it, and make sure you'll let your supervisor know what's going on. But remember, it'll be limited duty at first, and you have to be very careful."
Soda felt a smile tug at his lips. "So I can go back? Really?"
Dr. Simons grabbed a pen and wrote Soda's name and an approaching date on a release form. "How's Monday sound?"
"What's going on, Kid? You look like you're about to start bawlin' any second."
Pony heard the soft tone of Steve's voice, surprised by it, as he tried to keep the tears at bay. "I'm really scared."
Steve held the car keys in his hand, before setting them down in the cupholder between the Ford's seats. "Of what, Ponyboy? And what did you mean when you told me you have to know something?"
"Why did you try to kill yourself?"
"I already told you that. And what does that have to do with-"
"No! You said it was cause of what happened to you and the flashbacks. But you knew Soda was there for you and your dad too. So what else was going on that made you do it, instead of talking to one of them about how you were feeling?"
"Oh, Kid. That's not an easy answer. Where's this coming from?"
"I don't want Soda to try to kill himself. If he's having flashbacks like you, what if he starts feeling that bad too?"
Steve saw the tears slip down Pony's cheeks, this fear something he understood all too well. More gently than he ever had before, he touched the younger boy's shoulder. "Hey, listen to me. That doesn't mean Soda will do anything like what I did. Got it? Pony, I had years of pent up guilt and anger and shame. I kept a lot of secrets. I know I told you my dad knew about the abuse, but he really knew very little. There were so many things I hadn't told him before. I was carrying all that shit inside me, Kid. But Soda's not doing that."
"But didn't you still try to kill yourself after you started talking about it?"
"Yeah, but like I said, I kept it in for so long. It was like all those feelings and everything had already done a lot of damage. The day I overdosed, I was so overwhelmed, Pony. I just couldn't see a way out of it. I didn't think about going to Soda or my dad. All I thought about was making that pain stop."
"So I know you got sick after, and you called your dad. You must've thought of him then."
"Yeah. I did. After I took the pills, it hit me what I was doing. I thought about him and Soda and everyone who'd done everything to help me. I didn't want to die. So I called my dad for help because I knew he'd be there for me. If I hadn't known that, I would've died."
"So even though you did do it, knowing people were there for you still mattered?"
"Yes! Knowing I have my dad, Soda, and my counselor, it mattered a hell of a lot. I wouldn't still be here. So I'm telling you, Kid, the best thing any of us can do for Soda is make sure he knows we all love him." Steve squeezed Pony's shoulder, smiling a little. "And I'm sure I don't need to remind you that me and Sodapop are very different people."
Pony rubbed his eyes, wiping the tears from his face. "I'm sorry for this, Steve."
"Don't worry about it, Kid. You think I haven't cried lately? I have a lot. Especially when Soda has." Steve picked up the car key, sliding it into the ignition. "Now, get out of my car. I have to get to work."
Pony chuckled, as he pushed the passenger door open and climbed out. "See you later, Steve."
"I'll be over tonight, Kid." Steve spoke again, as Pony was about to close the door. "Hey, don't tell anyone about any of this."
Pony heard the car start, as he glanced in the direction of the school. "You mean about that heart you have? I wouldn't dare."
"I'll be fine, Darry. I want to go back. I can't stay home forever."
Darry drove his truck into the driveway, coming to a stop, before he replied to Soda. "I know. You're right, little buddy. I'm just worried it could still be too soon. And I know, even though you wouldn't tell me that day, it wasn't easy for you the last time you were at the DX."
Soda leaned his head back against the passenger seat, as he looked at Darry. "I really can't lie worth shit, can I?"
"No, you sure can't."
"All right. I did have a flashback at the DX when I went to pick up my car."
"That's what I'm most concerned about."
"But maybe it won't happen again. Maybe I can get used to being there if I just go back."
"I really hope so, little buddy. I want you to be able to go back to work cause I know that's what you want."
"You know what else though, Dar? I have too much time to get lost in my own head, and I know that's not helping me."
"I can see how that could be true too. Just promise me one thing, Sodapop."
"What's that?"
"That you'll take this one step at a time."
"Hey! What are you doing here, man?"
Soda let the DX station's door close behind him, as he heard Steve's greeting. "Um, I- I just wondered if Mr. Coleman's here cause I saw the doctor today."
Steve saw Soda's eyes dart around the station, and he came from behind the counter to stand in front of his best friend. "Look right here, buddy. Look at me."
Soda's gaze landed on Steve, as he also felt his hand on his shoulder. "He said that I, uh, I can come back on Monday."
"That's good, man." Steve started to walk back toward the counter, Soda following behind him. "What else did he say? Tell me what else you talked about."
Soda looked back at the door, staring out at the parking lot and the gas pumps, then his eyes moved to the refrigerator and the stocked shelves. "He took the rest of the stitches out."
"All right. That's real good."
"And I have a couple of tests on Wednesday for, you know, the nerves. He told me some other stuff too, but-" Soda stopped, as he began to stare at the cash register.
"Sodapop?" An idea forming in his mind, Steve went over to a shelf of snacks and chose two candy bars. He put them down near the register. "Ring these up for me, man."
Soda shook his head. "But I- Last time I touched the register, I-"
"I know, buddy. But you're going to have to anyway. And better it's just me right now."
Soda approached the cash register and looked down at the keys. Noting the price of each candy bar, he tapped on the numbers, ringing one up for ten cents and the second for eight cents.
Steve reached for the change in his pocket, seeing Soda flinch when the cash drawer popped open. "You got this, buddy." He pressed the coins into his best friend's hand, giving it a squeeze, as he did. "Take a deep breath. You're good, man."
Soda took a gulp of air, as he put the dime, the nickel, and pennies in their correct slots and closed the cash drawer.
Steve moved back behind the counter and handed Soda one of the candy bars. "It'll get easier, Sodapop. I promise you it will."
Soda heard the bell ding, signaling a customer's arrival. He watched a man enter the store, as he put his hand to his chest, feeling his heart pounding.
Steve reached for Soda's shoulder and nudged him toward the door that led away from the immediate site of the shooting. "Why don't you go talk to Coleman? He's in the garage."
Mr. Coleman's pen scribbled his signature on the last page of the paperwork that detailed the repairs performed on a pick-up truck currently in the garage. He was reaching for the next set when he saw Soda step inside. "Hi, Sodapop! How are you?"
Soda made his way toward Mr. Coleman, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. "Hi. I'm okay, I guess. I came by to tell you I saw my doctor today. He says I can come back to work on Monday."
"Really? That's great news. I'll be so happy to have you back. I think some of the girls who come in here have been missing you too."
"There's, uh, some things you need to know about though."
"Okay."
"My arm seems to be healing all right, but I might have some nerve damage. I don't know for sure yet cause I have to have tests, but my doctor thinks that's what's going on."
"What does that mean exactly?"
Soda pulled his hands from his pockets and wrapped his arms around his middle. "I have pain in my hand and fingers, or they'll just feel numb or tingly. And, sometimes, it's hard for me to hold onto things. My grip gets really weak."
"I'm so sorry to hear that, Sodapop."
"My doctor is supposed to be able to treat it, but I don't know how yet. I don't always have the symptoms, but there might be some things that are, um, hard for me to do right now."
Mr. Coleman moved closer to Soda and rested a hand on his arm. "Relax. I'll do whatever I can to help you. Anything you need. If there's something you're unable to do, we'll work around it."
Soda nodded, blinking back the tears in his eyes, as he realized how nervous he'd been about telling his boss this information. "My doctor said limited duty at first and that I have to be careful."
"I fully expected that. You're a great worker. We'll figure everything out."
"Hey, Soda can I talk to you for a minute?"
Soda looked up at Pony, nodding in response to his question. "Sure, little brother. What's on your mind?"
Pony put the novel he'd been reading down on the coffee table and joined Soda on the couch. "I just wanted to tell you I don't know what I'd do without you, and I love you so much."
"I love you too, Pony."
"I've been really worried about you, Soda, and I need you to know I'm here for you, no matter what."
"I know you are. I've always known that. But don't be worried, Pone. I'm dealing with things."
"If you ever want to talk to me about the flashbacks, I can listen. The nightmares too. I know you must need to talk about all that stuff, and I don't want you keeping it inside."
Soda pulled Pony into a hug, squeezing him tight. "Thank you for saying that, little brother. It means a lot to me."
Pony laid his head on Soda's shoulder, closing his eyes, as he hugged him back. Please don't ever hurt yourself, he thought. No matter how bad you feel. We already almost lost you once, and I can't imagine my life without you.
Soda's left hand gripped Steve's, about to pin his arm down on the kitchen table.
Steve struggled against the hold. "What the hell, man?"
With one last burst of effort, Soda, pushed Steve's hand all the way down, winning the arm wrestling match.
"Damn! I didn't expect that at all."
"I should use my left hand more often, huh? Maybe I'm- What's that word that means you can use both hands to do stuff?"
"Ambidextrous?"
"Yeah! Maybe I'm that."
"Can you write with your left hand?"
"I don't know. I haven't tried. Doubt it though."
"Then, you can't be ambidextrous."
"Well, maybe I just kind of am then. That could end up being useful."
"Or maybe I'm having an off night, and you just got lucky."
Soda propped his elbow up on the table, again offering his hand to Steve. "Or maybe I'm just stronger than you."
Steve gripped Soda's hand with his own, accepting the challenge. "Let's find out, shall we?"
Nicholas held the phone receiver to his ear, smiling at the sound of Audrey's voice. "All right. I'll pick you up around 6:30 then. I love you. Bye."
"You're just mad cause I beat you that last time."
Soda took his loss in stride, grinning back at Steve. "Nah. I just think it's nice."
Steve pulled a cigarette from his pack and reached for the lighter. "Huh? It's nice to lose? I took you down, man."
"No. I mean it's nice to goof off like that. I haven't done a whole lot of that lately. It feels good."
Nicholas sat back against the couch, his conversation with Audrey running over and over in his mind. "Did I just tell her I love her?"
"Darry told me to take it one step at a time."
Steve took a drag off his cigarette, giving Soda a puzzled look. "He told you to take what one step at a time?"
Soda looked down at his lap, then at his injured arm, picturing what he knew was underneath the bandage. "Going back to work."
"He's right, buddy. That's kind of why I got you to work the register that little bit today."
"I was trying to unlock it."
"Huh?"
"When he shot me, I was trying to unlock it. But I was shaking so bad, I wasn't quick enough."
"From everything you've said, I figured it went something like that."
"Dr. Simons said something like what you did. A couple of things, actually."
Steve took one last puff of his cigarette, before putting it out, focusing only on what Soda was telling him. "Oh? Like what?"
"He wants me to keep the bandage on my arm, so I don't hurt it again."
"Did he have anything else to say about what happened with the stitches?"
"Yeah. He was more concerned about why I did it than the injury. He asked me if the flashbacks happen often."
"What'd you tell him?"
"I said yeah. He gave me a card with a counselor's name and number on it. He told me to call if they keep happening so much after more time goes by."
"How much time?"
"Several weeks. But I really don't want to do that. At all."
"I understand, buddy. But it could end up being a good thing for you. You know it was for me."
"Yeah."
"And you're already a lot better about talking through this than you were."
Soda, acknowledging the truth in Steve's words, couldn't keep from smiling. "Mostly cause you and Darry are so pushy. Especially you."
Steve laughed and gave Soda a shove. "Well, I'll take that as a compliment."
