The past was unrelenting, its path winding, as it continuously formed new connections to the present.


Soda put the gas pump's nozzle back in its cradle, as the drive of the white Ford parked next to it went inside the DX to pay for his fill-up. "It actually feels good to be out here."

Soda picked up the squeegee and slid it along the car's windshield, the cleaning fluid soaking the glass, before it wiped it away.

"Hey, Sodapop, come here for a minute!"

Soda jumped at the sound of the voice, before he recognized it as Mr. Coleman's. He put the squeegee back in its place and waved to the Ford's driver, who had come back outside, as he went toward the station. "You called for me, Sir?"

Mr. Coleman motioned for Soda to come inside, as he went back behind the counter. "I just wanted to see how you're doing."

Soda's gaze wandered around the inside of the DX. "Um, honestly, I like being outside better than inside here. So I'm doing all right."

"That makes sense. I'll keep you out there with the pumps, as much as I can for now then."

"Thank you. I should've said it already. But thanks for being so good about everything. It really helps me a lot."

"You're welcome, Sodapop. I'm just glad to have you back."


"Hey, how are you feeling, honey?"

Vivian smiled at Samuel, as she laid a hand on her belly. "Much better than this time yesterday. I thought morning sickness was supposed to go away by now."

Samuel took two bowls and a pot down from one of the kitchen cabinets. "Soup and a sandwich sound okay for lunch? You still have plenty of ginger ale, right?"

"That actually does sound okay, and I still have about half the bottle."

Samuel was opening the refrigerator when he saw a book on the table. He picked up the container of leftover chicken noodle soup, as he read the title. "The Baby Name Book?"

"Yes. I was just looking through it. I was making a list of the names I like."

"Oh. For a boy or a girl?"

"Both. Because you never know, right?"

Samuel poured the soup into the pot, before setting it on the stove and turning on the burner. "No. I guess we don't. We never really know anything."


"Hey, how's it going, little buddy?"

Soda climbed into the truck beside Darry, answering his big brother's question, as he dug into the burger and fries he'd brought him for lunch. "Not too bad, really. Coleman's kept me outside working the pumps and all. It's less weird there than inside the station."

Darry heard Soda's reply, though his eyes were drawn to the front of the DX building. "I can see how that would feel better to you. I've only been back here once myself, and that was just coming to the parking lot to pick up my truck."

Soda followed Darry's gaze that hadn't moved, noticing his big brother had gone completely still. "Hey, Dar, eat. Your food's going to get cold."

Darry blinked, then looked at Soda. "I'll be right back. I need to take a piss."

"Um, okay."

Darry opened his door and hopped out of the truck, his feet landing on the familiar pavement. He went toward the station's door, questioning his own actions, as he opened it and stepped inside. The memory of how he'd found Soda hurt came alive in his mind, as he paused, staring at the very spot where his brother had been, blood pouring from a wound that was the result of a gunshot.

"Hi there, Darry. You looking for something? Sodapop is outside, right?"

Darry shifted his gaze to Mr. Coleman, comprehending his questions a little at a time. "Oh. Yeah. He's outside, and no, I'm not looking for anything. Just came in to use the bathroom."

"Oh. Go on ahead then."

"Yeah. Sure." Darry made his feet move, putting one foot in front of the other until he reached his destination.


Steve turned over the test paper Mrs. Patterson had handed back to him, seeing a 94% written at the top, along with words of praise.

He smiled at the grade, before tucking the paper inside his math notebook and heading out of the classroom.


"Is there anything I need to work on in the garage, before I have to go today?"

Mr. Coleman considered Soda's question, already knowing the answer he had to give for right now. "I think, with what your doctor said about limited duty and being careful, you probably shouldn't do that kind of work just yet."

Soda's expression fell, disappointment clouding his features. "Oh. Yeah. I- I guess you're probably right."

"I'm sorry, Sodapop. But it's only til you heal a little more than you have."

"Yeah. I know. I understand."

Mr. Coleman clapped Soda on the back. "You're going to be just fine soon enough."

Soda heard the bell ding and flinched, his heart beginning to beat faster. It's just a customer, he told himself. Nothing's going to happen. "I sure hope so."


Darry put his foot on the bottom rung of the ladder. Looking up, he held on with both hands, as he made his ascent one step at a time.


"I guess I kind of went into some sort of shock when Soda said yeah, that he did feel like hurting himself. But it's not like I shouldn't have seen it coming."

Laura sat across from Steve, both of them in their usual places, as she listened to him speak about the past week. "It's a shock nonetheless, Steve. And the last thing you ever want to hear. I'm sure, even though Sodapop was having the thoughts he told you about and feeling like he was, you hoped he wouldn't go any further than that."

Steve looked out the window, his mind drifting back to earlier in the weekend. "I should tell you I felt like that too on Saturday night. Like hurting myself, I mean. It was that same feeling, that same urge."

"So what did you do?"

"I went straight to my dad. I had already promised him I would."

"I take it talking to him helped?"

"Yeah. We played cards a little bit, but I couldn't really focus. So we just talked."

"I'm glad to hear you're taking time to care for yourself too, Steve. I would never tell you not to be there for Sodapop, but a lot of what he's going through has the potential to be triggering for you because of certain similarities."

"Yeah. I can definitely see that. But I don't know, I think I've mostly done okay, and it feels kind of good to be able to understand what he tells me."

"Because it feels good to be able to help. Especially when you have no control over most of the circumstances."

"Yeah. Exactly. When I went home yesterday, Audrey was there. She tried to talk to me, and I don't know, I just snapped at her and told her to leave me alone. She was being nice, but I wasn't feeling right. I'd been trying to keep it together and stay calm for Soda. So, of course, my dad got mad at me. Not that I blame him. He didn't even know what else had gone on yesterday. He just knew I was being a jerk to his girlfriend."

"Okay. So did you tell your dad something was bothering you?"

"Yeah. But before that, he said something that reminded me of what Clara said once. I swear I heard her instead of him in that second."

"What happened then? Were you reminded of a specific memory of the abuse?"

"Yeah. I had a flashback. I think it's cause I was already stressed too, you know?"

"I absolutely understand."

"I kept just seeing Clara and hearing her voice, but my dad was talking too. I don't think he was so upset with me anymore when he realized what was happening."

"I'm sure your dad helped you, like he has before?"

"Yeah. He hugged me and started asking questions about what I could see and feel, where I was, stuff like that."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Those strategies are still very important for you."

"They are. My dad felt really bad about it because he didn't realize he'd said anything. He even told me he wasn't trying to hurt me. But it's not like I thought he did it on purpose."

"I understand if you don't want to discuss it, but do you know specifically what it was your dad said that reminded you of Clara? Or was it more of a general feeling?"

"You know the time Clara got angry at me? The night she, um, made me touch her?"

"Yes. I remember."

"She was angry cause of what I said to her about going back to her own house, and she said, 'how dare you say such a thing.' After I talked to Audrey the way I did, my dad followed me to my room, and he said 'how dare you talk to her that way.' I mean, I'm not saying he wasn't right. But it sounded so much like that, and I knew he was angry too, so..."

"Of course, Steve. I can see how those moments would take you back to the past. Not only because of the phrase your dad used, but also because things were feeling especially out of control to you at that point in time."

"Yeah. They did. They still kind of do. I told my dad about what Soda said, so he'd know what was bugging me. Then, I apologized to Audrey later, and she was really good about it."

"Based on what you've told me about how you interact with her, she sounds like she'd be an understanding person."

"Yeah. She is. My dad told me last night that he wants to tell her about Clara."

"And how do you feel about that idea?"

"It's actually okay with me. I don't mind if he tells her what happened. He can even tell her about the flashbacks and stuff like that, but I did ask him not to tell her I tried to kill myself. That's just different to me."

"As personal as the abuse is, your suicide attempt may be even more so."

"Yeah. I just haven't known Audrey for very long, and I feel like that's more for me to tell, you know? Because his relationship with Clara, that's kind of both our pasts, but the overdose, well, it's mine."

"Very true, Steve."

"I think, especially since it still affects me too. Not that I ever really expect it not to. But some days, it still feels kind of fresh."

"I know you've heard this from me a lot, especially lately, but I'm going to remind you again you can call if you need me. I know you want to be there for Sodapop. You need to be. But please make sure you keep doing what you need to take care of yourself too."


"Hey, Kid, do you guys got any..."

Soda stared at the customer in front of him, seeing that his lips were moving, but unable to make out the words over the echoes that filled his mind.

"You all right, Kid?"

Soda snapped back into the present, looking down at the counter where the man had placed items to purchase. "Uh, yeah, sure."

"Hey, you're the one that got shot, right?"

Soda nodded, his focus on ringing up the magazine, bottle of Pepsi, and bag of potato chips. "Yeah."

"You're mighty lucky, ain't you? Must be that name of yours."

Soda took the money the customer handed him. "Um, yeah. I guess I am."

"They catch the guy that did it?"

Soda closed the cash drawer, his eyes wandering to the door of the station. "No. They didn't. But there ain't much to go on either."

"That's too bad. See you later, Kid."

Soda watched the customer gather his items and start to head toward the door. "Yeah. See you later." He heard the bell ding, the sound not ceasing to evoke the image of the mask that was still somewhere out there.


Steve erased the numbers he'd just written, going back to redo the math in his head. He was just rewriting the new answer to the problem when he saw Soda in his bedroom doorway. "Hey, come on in here, buddy. How was work?"

Soda, still wearing his DX uniform, joined Steve in his room. "It was okay, I guess. Not great, but it did feel good to be back. A lot of the time anyway."

Steve put his pencil down and clapped Soda on the shoulder. "That's good, man. I'm glad to hear it."

"Yeah. I was still pretty jumpy at certain times though. I probably will be for a while. And Coleman wouldn't let me in the garage yet."

"That might be a good thing for now, buddy."

"So I mostly worked the pumps and did the register for a while. I felt a lot more relaxed outside."

"Like Darry told you, one step at a time."

"Yeah. Pretty much. I didn't have trouble doing most things, but I used my left hand for some stuff. Which wasn't too bad."

"You're going to adjust just fine, man. Even if it takes some time."

"Darry came by at lunch, and I think it was hard for him to be there again. He said he'd only been back to the parking lot to pick up his truck, and he was kind of staring at the building. It sort of reminded me of how I did that."

"I think we all see the DX in a different way now. I wasn't even there, and I do too."

"Yeah." Soda's gaze wandered to the notebook in Steve's lap, seeing a graded test paper, a 94% at the top. "Hey, that's good, Stevie."

Steve grinned, picking his pencil back up. "Thanks. I was really trying hard."

Soda's eyes remained on the paper. "Is it hard to believe you're going to graduate soon?"

"Yeah. I'll be done with school before I know it."

"I never was good at math. I did try though."

"Of course you did."

"I just wasn't smart enough for it. TwoBit's even finishing school and no one, not even his mom, thought he ever would."

Steve turned the test paper over and closed his math notebook. "Don't say you're not smart, man. You'd have made it too, if you had the chance."

"I don't know about that."

Steve studied Soda's expression, as he put the notebook and pencil to the side. "I never knew this bothered you so much."

"It didn't then. I mean, dropping out seemed like the right thing. It felt good not to have the pressure, and we needed the money. Nothing was more important than helping Darry or more important that us staying together."

"But?"

"It's like it's catching up with me now, and I wish things could be different."

"Man, I admit it was hard for me when you left school, but you did what you had to do."

"Would you still say that if I'd had grades like Pony's? Or even like yours are now?"

"Yeah. Cause that wouldn't have helped Darry keep you guys. Even then, I thought that you not being at school with me was better than you two getting taken away."

"I couldn't let Darry work himself into the ground either."

"Right. I know he acted mad when you dropped out, but deep down, he knew why you did it."

"Yeah. He was pretty torn about it. Cause, of course, he didn't want me to drop out, but it's awful hard to argue with a paycheck when you got bills to pay and food to buy."

"Is it just because graduation is coming up that you've been thinking about all this, or is there something else?"

"No. Not just that."

"What then?"

"I guess just all the feelings and stuff from getting shot. It's hard to feel good about myself right now."

"And school didn't make you feel good about yourself either. There's more than one reason you dropped out."

"Yeah. A couple."

"More than a couple, man."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"Definitely. From everything you just said."

"I guess it really doesn't matter. I'm too dumb to pass anyway."

"I really should've knocked you over the head with that hymnal yesterday."

"Huh?"

"What the hell, Sodapop? Do you even hear yourself lately?"

"You know it as well as I do, Steve. I wasn't even going to pass that year, let alone graduate."

"Okay. So even if you weren't, that doesn't mean you're dumb."

"Sure it does."

Steve grabbed Soda's arm, dragging him up with him. He steered him toward the dresser, making him face the mirror. "You look there and tell me what you see."

Soda looked at his reflection as he felt Steve's hands keep a tight grip on his shoulders, this moment reminding him of one several months before. "I never thought you'd get to use that on me."

Steve stared at both of their reflections, remembering well the moments by the cemetery fountain. "If I have to, I'll drag you to that same spot, and make you look in that water too. Cause what you said to me that day wasn't something a dumb guy thinks of."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So tell me what you see. We ain't moving til you do."

"I see me."

"Seriously, buddy? You gotta do better than that. You sound like I did before."

"You said you saw a victim then."

"You're going to make me do this, aren't you?" Steve didn't let go of Soda, as he moved his eyes from the mirror to his best friend and back again. "I see Darry's little brother that would do anything to help him. I see Pony's big brother, who adores the kid like nothing I've ever seen before in my life."

Soda smiled a little, knowing the heart behind the slight jab.

"I see the guy Penny believes she's falling in love with, a guy who respects her." Steve paused, laying one arm over Soda's shoulders. "I see the guy who understood things about me sometimes better than I could myself and who listened to me talk about stuff no one wants to deal with. I see my best friend, who always made sure I knew he loved me just like his own brothers, so I'm going to keep reminding him that goes both ways."

Soda tried not to cry, the lump in his throat and the moisture in his eyes sensations that were more typical than he'd ever imagined they could be.

Steve pressed forward, continuing the track he was on and taking it further than Soda had for him. "I see my buddy, Sodapop, who got hurt pretty bad and survived. Who's facing what happened to him and admitting he doesn't feel good, or even okay, about it."

Soda's eyes moved from his own reflection to Steve's. "Thanks, Stevie."

"I'm not even done yet, man. I see Sodapop Curtis, who's having a tough time and going through stuff I know is so damn hard. But he's not going to give up on himself or his life, no matter what." Steve shifted his gaze form the mirror to look right at Soda, his voice one of determination. "Because I won't let him."


"Hey, Darry, your kid brother asked me to tell you he went to the library. Well, he didn't really ask. More like he just told me to. But I don't even see why he needs to-"

Darry looked down at the carpet, avoiding TwoBit's gaze that he knew was now on his face. "What was that? You don't see why he needs to what?"

TwoBit saw his buddy's red rimmed eyes and heard the thickness of his voice. "Um, should I leave you alone or- No, that's a stupid question. Of course I shouldn't. You were just alone and..."

Darry chuckled, in spite of himself. "Stay, TwoBit."

TwoBit sat down beside Darry. "Uh, sorry if I came in at the wrong time. Are you okay? Should I even ask that?"

"You can, if you want. It's all right, man. I'm used to you barging in. Not like you've never seen me lose it anyway."

"Actually, I'm not sure I have."

"Oh. Well, you caught me right after then." Darry could feel a new round of tears swell in his eyes, in spite of the company. "Or maybe I'm not done yet."

"Should I be worried? Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened. It's just Sodapop and everything."

"Oh."

"I'm not sure how to help him sometimes, and you can imagine that really kills me. I need to be able to do something. It makes me feel helpless."

TwoBit saw tears slide down the other man's cheeks. "Aw, Darry, man, you do a lot for Soda. He told me some of what's been going on with him, and I know you help with that."

"But I can't fix it."

"No, and no one expects you to. But he said he's scared, and I know nobody could make him feel safer than you do."

"If only I could protect him from the shit going on in his head. But I can't make that go away either."

"You and Soda sound so much alike, man."

"How's that?"

"You're both too hard on yourselves."

"Yeah. I've seen that in him too. He went back to work today. I went by there at lunch."

"Okay."

"I went inside the DX for the first time since the night of the shooting. It was damn weird, and I could pick out the exact spot where-"

TwoBit heard the crack in Darry's voice, and though he was unsure if he should, put his arms around him anyway. "Shh. I know, Darry. I know."

Darry leaned against TwoBit, accepting the shoulder to cry on. "Soda told me it's the most scared he's ever been in his life. I was scared too."

"Cause he's your baby brother. Him and Pony. No matter how old they get, they'll always be that to you."

"I couldn't live without either of them, TwoBit. We already lost our parents. We almost lost Pony. That night, Soda could've died."

"But he made it. You've still got him, Darry. He's okay."

Darry pulled away from the hug, wiping the tears that had flowed. "I know. But I'm not sure how okay he is. He's struggling with all this stuff."

TwoBit kept his hand on Darry's shoulder. "But he's here. And you know what else?"

"What?"

"I know we call you Superman, but it doesn't mean you gotta be that all the time." TwoBit squeezed Darry's shoulder, as he met his gaze. "You're allowed to let go once in a while too."


Steve glanced over at Soda from his place in the grass, shaded by the branches of a tree in his backyard. "What are you thinking, man?"

Soda leaned toward the rays of sun, skin soaking in the warmth that radiated throughout his body. "Nothing right now. It feels good."

"Yeah. It's nice to shut your brain off now and again. Just don't forget to turn it back on."

Soda snorted out a laugh. "Damn. And I was planning to keep it off for a few days. Thinking's causing too much trouble for me."

"Yeah. It can sure do that."

"I like being outside even more than I used to."

"I can tell."

"I'd sleep outside, if I could."

"So why don't you?"

"Cause that'd be weird."

"We did it when we were kids."

"But we're not kids now."

"Yeah, man, we're both so old. I know you remember sleeping in that tent in your backyard."

"Yeah. Of course I do."

"So maybe you should try that and see if you're calmer."

"It gets kind of cold at night right now though. I'd freeze."

"That's probably true. Maybe you could just open your window at night, then, you know, even take the blind down too and let in as much fresh air as you can. That could help."

"I like that idea, Stevie."

"And move your bed as close to the window as you can get it, then you'll sort of feel like you're outside and not so closed in."

"Yeah. That really sounds like it could help."

"Then, maybe you'll be calmer at night and sleep better. Trust me, buddy. Rest helps a whole lot with everything."


"Dad, I understand why you put my pills up, but it was just one night. I'm not feeling like that anymore."

Nicholas walked away from the sink full of dishes, joining Steve at the table to continue the conversation. "Good, Son. I'm glad. But that was only two days ago."

Steve spoke the first words that came to his mind. "Don't you trust me, Dad? It's been over six months now."

"Steve, it's not about trusting you. It's about protecting you."

"But you don't trust me. I'm sitting here telling you I'm not having thoughts about hurting myself at all. You believed me when I said it before."

"I believe you now, Son. But you came to me only two nights ago and told me you did feel like hurting yourself then. That means you're vulnerable to these feelings right now."

"But it's been a long time. I'm not going to do anything like that. I want you to trust me. Why can't you?"

"I do trust you."

"No, you don't."

Nicholas moved his chair closer to Steve's and leaned forward to hold onto his shoulders. "Listen to me, Son. It's not that I don't trust you. It's that I know what can happen and how strong these impulses can be for you."

Steve met Nicholas' eyes, able to feel the tears that had filled his own. "I won't do it, Dad. I promise. I won't overdose. I won't do anything to hurt myself."

"I believe you. I do. But think about it like this. Look what's gone on in just the last day and a half. You had a flashback for the first time in a while. Your best friend told you he's dealing with the same sort of feelings you do, and I know that scares you."

"Soda asked me what if he gets worse and feels as bad as I did."

Nicholas let go of Steve's shoulders and sat back in his chair. "That must scare him."

Steve got up out of his seat and looked toward the cabinet, where his medicine was usually kept. "I don't want to believe it."

"Don't want to believe what, Son?"

"That it could happen. Cause it could. I know it could."

"But that doesn't mean it will."

"But anything can happen. Anything can change. That's why you put my pills away. No matter what I tell you, you know it's possible."

Nicholas could see the tears coating his son's eyes. "Breathe, Son. It's okay."

"But it's true, right? No matter how much time goes by. And Soda... He could hurt himself too. I can't stop him. He couldn't stop me. This is how fuckin' helpless you guys felt, isn't it?"

Nicholas stood to his feet, as he heard a sob escape Steve and saw him stumble forward. He caught his son and lowered him to the floor, holding him in his arms. "You're right, Son. That's all true. But it's why I'm here for you, why you and Sodapop are there for each other. Why his brothers are there for him too. It's why we all do the best we can to help and love one another."


The shower sprayed Soda's face, warm droplets cascading along his closed eyes and his cheeks. The water soaked him in a feeling of sensory bliss, the liquid temporarily making his sorrows drown.


"Sorry, Dad. I guess it wasn't really about the pills. It's okay you put them up. I understand, and I don't blame you."

Nicholas handed Steve one pill and a glass of water, staying quiet until after he took the medicine. "Nothing to be sorry for, Son. I think I expected you to cry after what Sodapop told you yesterday."

Steve set the glass of water down on the coffee table beside him. "He talks about how he cries all the time, and I think I'm just as bad now. I told him he wouldn't cry if he didn't need it."

Nicholas put his hand on Steve's face that was still streaked with tears, his son's eyes puffy from the breakdown. "And that's true for you too."

"I told Laura I probably should've seen it coming. She said she's sure I hoped Soda wouldn't get any worse than he'd already told me before. I did too. I did hope that."

"Of course. Sodapop's been through a lot. You didn't want him to go through even more, especially when you know what it feels like."

"It hurt me when I realized he was having a flashback that first time and when he kept having them. But this makes it so much scarier, Dad."

"I know it does, Son."

"Those thoughts he had at first, that sounded bad. It was bad. And I know it might not seem like it, but there's a big difference between that and this."

"I can see the difference pretty easily. Having something cross your mind isn't the same as a feeling that makes you want to do it. A thought isn't an impulse."

"Yeah. That's exactly what I mean too. Hey, I know it's kind of late, but can we go for a drive or something and just hang out? I think I need it."


"Come on, Soda! You're going to use up all the hot water!"

Soda felt himself rise back to the surface of the world around him, the spray of water still running over his body. Careful not to soak his healing injury, he leaned over and shut off the water, then yelled to Pony. "Sorry, Pone. Be out in a minute!"

Soda pulled the shower curtain aside, and grabbed a towel, as he stepped out of the tub, securing it around his waist. His feet pressed into the bath mat, hair dripping wet with the water of elusion.


Steve pushed the straw through the plastic lid, then took a long sip of his strawberry milkshake. "This is good, Dad."

Nicholas pulled his car away from the drive-thru lane and into a parking space, then took a sip of his own vanilla milkshake. "The best. So what should we do now?"


"Rearranging your room, little buddy?"

Soda eyed the position of his bed, as he answered Darry's question. "Yeah. Kind of. Hey, can you help me with this? I can't quite get it over here against the wall."

Darry went forward, moving the head of Soda's bed so it was nearly level with the window sill. "There you go. Moving it for a reason?"

Soda unlocked the window and pushed it open, fresh evening air coming inside the bedroom. "Yeah. An idea Steve had. Cause I feel better outside. I told him I'd sleep out there if I could."

"So you're getting as close as you can, I take it?"

Soda lie down on the bed, his head right beside the open window. He looked out, as his face felt the night's coolness. "Yeah. That's pretty much it."


"I don't know, Son. I thought you looked pretty silly."

Steve chuckled along with Nicholas, as he drank the rest of his milkshake. "Me? You're the one who looked so goofy!"

Nicholas drove toward their house, away from the calmness that had enveloped the city's outer limits. "Uh huh. You just keep telling yourself that, Son."

Steve relaxed against the car seat, empty cup in hand. As he enjoyed the atmosphere of camaraderie, another thought came to his mind. "Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we always do this?"

"What? Drive and drink milkshakes?"

"No. I don't mean that. I mean this. Me and you."

"Of course, Son. Always."

"Okay. Just making sure."

"All right. But you never even have to wonder."


Soda stared out the open window, the darkness somehow soothing, as the fresh air flowed onto his being that sought any possible release. "God, I know I've asked you to help me. I don't mean to bother you, but I'm asking again."

The bedroom door opened, revealing Darry. "Hey, little buddy. I, uh, just kind of wanted to see you."

Soda smiled at his big brother. "I'm right here, Dar. Where you left me just a little while ago."

Darry stepped into the room, closing the door, before he sat down at the head of the bed right beside Soda.

"Something wrong?"

Darry shook his head, leaning against the wall adjacent to the open window. "No."

"Okay. You sure? You want to talk to me again or something? I don't really feel like it right now though."

Darry looked down at Soda's head that rested on his pillow, seeing his eyes staring up at him. "Yeah. I'm sure."

"Oh. Okay."

Darry ran his fingers through his little brother's hair. "Can I just sit here with you?"

"Sure, Dar. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just want to be with you. That's all."

Soda felt Darry's hand come to rest on his shoulder, as he resumed looking out the window, continuing his prayer silently: But I don't know. You're God. So maybe this means I wasn't bothering you. Maybe you're telling me you're right here with me too.