Chapter 4: Chattering Teeth

The door swung shut behind me as I cautiously stepped outside. I couldn't remember all parts of the game too clearly so I wasn't really expecting the long purple corridor. It was brighter at the end, though. Hating to be stuck in hallways, I sped up my pace into a jog. The temperature was steadily getting lower. The light at the end was flickering, into a place that was much darker. It didn't quite make sense since it seemed to be brighter around me... I cautiously went through the doorway.

I was in a pitch-black room, where a familiar voice spoke immediately as I entered.

"Clever. Verrry Clever. You think you're really smart, don't you?" Flowey spoke with a sneaky look. I blinked at him, crouching down to his level. I had questions to ask him, but I wasn't sure how to ask him. "In this world, it's kill or be killed. So you played by your own rules." His face morphed into a fanged grin. "You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee. I bet you feel really great." He mocked, "You didn't kill anybody this time. You even drew her a picture!"

"Flowey?" I asked, and he was caught off guard by my gentle tone enough to pause, "I'm not Chara... I'm the player. What you call the Watcher. Do you know how I can quit?"

A completely blank look crossed Flowey's face. "Hmm..." He smiled and said, "If you really are the one sitting back and watching us like we're a television, then it's even more reason for you to go through the timeline, idiot. I'm not telling~!"

My head sank, before I raised it up again. It was worth a try.

"Can you continue sparing lives? What if you meet a relentless killer?"

"I'll run away." I shrugged.

"Hm? Don't you remember those you had to fight before? Oh, sorry, watch Chara fight before."

"My goal isn't to get through the barrier. It's to quit the game... or this world. Undertale." I quickly realized I was rambling.

"You will be constantly hunted... You'll see there's no other choice but to fight. And then, when you give up on the world, I'll inherit it. I am the prince of this world-"

"Yeah, I've heard your spheal before, regicide and all that." I interrupted rudely, feeling bitter that he wasn't giving me answers.

"Will you quit that?" He snapped, "My plan isn't just regicide, it's much more greater than that..."

"By the way, if you convince me to go through the timeline killing everyone, I'll kill you too you know." I warned for no other reason than to get under his stem.

"You're wouldn't do that." Flowey said with a glare, "Well, with as weak as you are it shouldn't be long until you give up, crybaby." He ducked back underground.

I stared blankly at the illuminated spot of grass he was in. I do cry a lot, didn't I? Eh, he's a bully, don't listen to him.

I stood up and walked up to a doorway, reaching blindly to touch something solid. A door. I pushed it open and white light blinded me. A cold air instantly made me shiver and want to retreat back. I refused, and closed the door behind me. My breath came out in steamy puffs and I suddenly felt all the sweat on my skin start to get colder. I leaned against the door and assessed the area. There was a thicket of trees around me, and a snow-covered pathway in front of me. The sky was white... and it was snowing in huge, thick flakes. I coughed a bit from the frigid air and started stepping through the snow. Maybe Sans would have some answers for me... that is, if he didn't blame me like Flowey did.

"Oh, snickerdoodles." I growled out loud as the cold sank into my skin like ice fangs, making my hairs stand on end. It didn't help that I was still covered in a layer of sweat. I walked a bit faster. Cold and heat are similar in that if they are too extreme, they would burn, and although I'm not quite close to burning yet my body was sending me signals similar to the ones I get a millisecond before touching something very hot. Like a frying pan. I observed as I folded my hands against my stomach and leaned into the wind. I found a large stick blocking the pathway, and stepped over it. Out of the fire and into the frying pan. I chuckled at my own joke.

Crack! I yelped and spun towards the noise, eyes wide. The branch was snapped in two for some reason. I realized that was normal, and wondered if I broke some kinda magic barrier by stepping over that stick. Was Sans messing with me? I increased my pace, eyes focused on a stone structure in the distance through the fog of falling snowflakes. For a few seconds, all I can hear were my own footsteps and even, steady breaths. I was so cold that there wasn't steam coming out of me anymore. I heard crunches in the snow behind me, and glanced back. Nobody. Not even a footprint. I frowned and kept going, what was I going to say to Sans if I saw him? Should I call out to him now?

"S..." My voice died in my throat, he wouldn't trust me if I said that right? I needed to... gently break it to him? I didn't realize I was at the edge of the bridge until I suddenly collapsed to my knees, my fingers gripping the wood with a death grip. I shook with a mixture of adrenaline and cold as the black abyss below the wooden bridge seemed to grow and call out to me, almost pull me towards it, like a twisted desire to fly. "Whoah, I'm over this fear... even if there is no r-r-railings to hold onto. Just gotta cr-"

"Human." A low voice drawled directly behind me.

"Eeep!" I spun around and my numb hand ended up slipping on the edge of the bridge. I kicked out as I fell to the side, and a hand grabbed the shoulder of my shirt, pulling me back upright.

"Whoah, careful there kiddo." I looked up. The sight of a skull with glowing-pinprick eyes combined with my now-rational fear of heights made adrenaline pulse through my heart like some kind of spear, and Sans neatly sidestepped as I almost knocked him over in my haste of getting away from the icy bridge. My numb limbs wouldn't obey me quickly enough, and I faceplanted into the snow. I tilted my head to breathe and lay there for a few moments, trying to calm myself down. "Hey, kid." I felt a shadow cast over me, "Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Sit up and shake my hand."

I sat up and wiped the snow from my face. I blinked up at Sans, trying to get used to his very... animated appearance. I looked quizzically at the gloved hand he outstretched, and then grabbed his hand. It was surprisingly warm. As I focused on curling my nearly nonresponsive fingers he tightened his grip.

Thurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp! A giant fart penetrated the tension, leaving a silence after it. The whoopee cushion was in his glove. Of course.

"Hehehe, the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's always funny." Sans said in a lighter tone, taking his hand away and putting it back into his coat pocket.

"I-is your s-sentry st-stat-station warmer th-than h-here?" I chattered out.

"Not at all. You'll probably want to go to Snowdin, to the east. You're a human, right?" He asked. I nodded and got back to my feet. I wished determination could act as a personal heater... "That's hilarious. My names Sans. Sans the skeleton. I'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now, but... y'know... I don't really care about capturing anybody. Now my brother, Papyrus..."

"Do you have like, a spare jacket I could borrow? Or a small fire?" I interrupted as I rubbed my arms and hunched over slightly.

"My jackets wouldn't fit you." Sans said, "I could help ya build a fire, but I think I see my brother... come on, I have an idea." He walked towards the bridge at a fast pace, and I followed him until the edge. I looked at his sneakers on the bridge for comfort before I forced myself to run across the bridge. I grabbed my chest as my heart accelerated almost painfully fast, eyes wide. "Quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp." I looked to my left and saw a lamp, which was taller and wider than it usually was. I scrambled behind it. I took deep breaths to calm myself down, the lampshade moving a bit as I leaned my head against it. "Sup, bro?" Sans called.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP', BROTHER. IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES. YOU JUST HANG OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! I JUST SAW YOU GOOFING OFF WITH SOMEBODY!" Papyrus's voice was loud and would probably trigger an avalanche.

"What? I was just telling a few jokes to this lamp. It's pretty fun. Did you want to join?"

"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?! I WANT TO BE READY! NOT CHATTING WITH A LAMP! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!"

I slowly leaned against the lamp, feeling it was actually very hot for some reason, and I was cold enough to not realize I was putting too much weight onto it until we were both falling.

"THEN I THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WOULD GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE!"

I stomped my foot into the ground to anchor myself from falling and glimpsed Papyrus with his bright orange cape fluttering in the nonexistent wind.

"RESPECT... RECOGNITION... I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!"

I backed up to pull the lamp up with me, only to realize it was heavier than I thought. I lost my footing and slipped over it with my legs flailing in the air.

"PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO BE MY, 'FRIEND?'" Papyrus was too deep in his monologue-ing to notice me right away. I gave up on trying to pick up the lamp and laid beside it. I stuck my head in the lampshade. "I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING."

"Hmm... maybe this lamp will help you." Sans said despite my predicament.

"SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING!" I covered my mouth to muffle my snickers until I realized the lamp was cracking for some reason. I quickly remembered the incident where a woman pours hot water to get ice off her windshield and the glass shattered. Shoot. It was crumbling under my hands... "YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

"Hey, take it easy. I've got a ton of work done today." Sans paused for dramatic effect, "... A skele-ton." I could almost hear him winking. I quickly decided hiding around broken glass was a bad idea and put the lampshade on my head, standing up.

"SANS!" Papyrus shouted indignantly. I peeked from under the lampshade and tiptoed over to San's station to hide.

"Come on. You're smiling."

"I AM AND I HATE IT! EVEN THAT LAMP IS TRYING TO ESCAPE YOUR BAD JOKES!" I froze and put the lampshade fully over my head. Papyrus sighed heavily. "WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME... HAVE TO DO SO MUCH TO GET SOME RECOGNITION..." I carefully peeked back out and then tiptoed behind Sans's station.

"Wow, it sounds like you're really working yourself... down to the bone." Sans grinned with his eyes.

"UGH! LOOK, YOU MADE EVEN THE LAMP LEAVE! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES! AS FOR YOUR WORK, PUT A LITTLE MORE... 'BACKBONE' INTO IT." Papyrus's voice strained slightly at that pun, as if it was physically hurting him to say that, "NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" I heard footsteps walk off into the distance, and as I slowly crept out of my hiding spot I heard another, "HEH!" that made me nearly jump out of my skin. I quickly hid again.

"Ok. You can come out now." Sans said. I stepped out and walked towards him, taking off my lampshade. "Nice hat. You oughta get going, my brother might be..." I reached up and gently put the lampshade on his head. His skull was too wide for it, but it managed to stay on his head. He seemed a bit befuddled by my action, but kept it on his head for the time being.

"Fire." I reminded him with a small smile.

"Oh, yeah. I'll make some up ahead, just get going and follow the path." He took the lampshade and tossed it by the lamp shards. I nodded and turned away. "Actually, hate to bother ya, but do you mind doing me a favor? My brother's been down recently, and I think seeing a human might make his day. Don't worry, he's harmless, even if he tries not to be." I looked back and gave him a thumbs up, "Thanks a million. I'll be up ahead."

I looked away, relieved that I would get some fire. Eventually. Just had to keep going. I found myself wishing Toriel was here, but quickly shook that off. No. I had to prove I could handle myself just fine. I treaded through the snow, and ahead I saw a glowing golden star. I walked towards it and touched it. I felt myself rejuvenated, as if I had a full nights sleep and a huge meal. Knowing I would face the bone brothers ahead filled me with determination! I was the master of comebacks when it was a good opportunity for comebacks!

This stuff has got to be some kind of drug. I've only eaten a slice of pie and piece of candy, and I don't feel any thirst after sweating so much. I thought, quickly bringing myself down into reality. I kept walking across the path, my teeth chattering with the intensity of my shivers. I still gotta ask Sans about exiting the game, well, world... darnit... well, I think their puzzles might be fun, so-

A long, blue and white dragonlike creature suddenly leaped in in front of me, and I yelped and backed off. Its frills and face was akin to a snowflake, and watched me with wide eyes.

I changed my mind, I want to get out of here now! I thought, making a run for it away from him.

"I got my 'ice' on you!" The snowdrake yelled, galloping in front of me and cutting off my escape. He sort of reminded me of a chinese dragon, except with a frostier appearance and worse puns. The air distorted and he tossed his head, throwing air blades at me. I dived and rolled in the snow, my heart rate accelerating as arms went up to reflexively protect my head. I stood up and backed off. I noticed he was waiting for something, did he want me to attack him or something? My back hit a tree, and I gulped.

"I was thinking... it was more of air...?" I said nervously.

"No! Don't you get it?! Eyes?! Ice?! I'll have you in a vICE grip!" The snowdrake snarled, and shook his body wildly. Giant air blades cut through the snow and I couldn't see them through the frost, so in desperation I ran away and jumped, easily clearing a few yards. A stray wind blade headed towards me, and I braced myself.

"Ugh!" I groaned as it sliced my arm. I landed and nearly slipped. "Haha v-vice grip ice funny." I said quickly.

"See, dad! I got laughs!" The snowdrake hopped around in glee, generating air blades that went completely over my head, like the majority of his jokes.

"Keep practicing, you'll get even better..." I encouraged weakly as I casually tried to step away. Snowdrake nodded enthusiastically and pranced off into the field. I sighed in relief and looked at my bleeding arm. My sleeve was pretty much torn off, so I ripped the few threads holding it to my torso and wrapped the sleeve around my shoulder using my hands and teeth, plodding through the snow. "I am very warm~" I sang off-key to lift my spirits, "I will get home soon~, Flowey is a stupid jerk~" I heard a hiss that was quickly muffled somewhere behind me and grinned.

I heard arguing up ahead, and paused my rambling notes to see skeletons shouting in the distance. I waved to them, and Papyrus looked to Sans, who looked at me, and then Papyrus looked back to me, where Sans also looked back to Papyrus, and I looked to Papyrus. Sadly, I wasn't Papyrus, but if he stopped using anime-scented body wash and switched to Old Spi- Oh, he was whispering something to Sans. I looked back and saw a giant rock that I hadn't noticed before, and stepped back towards it, climbing and standing on top of it with pride, my sleeve-bandage fluttering in the wind.

"I'M GONNA BE SO POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!" Papyrus was grinning his skull off as his voice heightened in its excitement. He turned towards me and cleared his throat, his face settling into a determined frown even I could see at this distance. "HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THROUGH THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! AND YOU WILL GET SENT TO THE CAPITAL! AND THEN... WELL, I'MNOTSUREWHATHAPPENSNEXT. IN ANY CASE, CONTINUE ONLY IF YOU DARE!"

"I A-ACCEPT YOUR CH-CH-CH-CHALLENGE!" I shouted back, shivering a bit. I was really cold. Did I mention that?

"YOU WON'T WIN! I CAN SEE YOU TREMBLING WITH FEAR! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus marched off.

"Don't sweat it kid, I'll keep an eyesocket out for ya." Sans said with a left-eyed wink.

"Remember the fire!" I called after him.

"Yeah, it'll be by the golf game." He waved and disappeared into the frosty mist after Papyrus like some kind of cool kid. I got off the rock with a skip in my step.

"Dad! This was the one who said my jokes were funny!" I heard the snowdrake's voice behind me and ran full speed ahead.

A/N: I'm sorry for my horrible jokes. Just kidding. My jokes are awesome.

I feel like I ripped too much dialogue from the game but uh... I'm new with playing these characters and they'll get more of offgame dialogue eventually. Yeah. That'll be my goal!

Guest: Ah, thanks very much for the praise. Please don't die, I'm gonna go to jail if you do that.

Boomerpyro: I am not familiar with the bun-bun joke... Do you mean the rabbit or the cinnamon roll?

AnimeVamp1997: Hehe~ I think I'll get a lot of practice with fighting scenes in this story. I'm trying my best to describe her, well, me, as realistic as possible.