Recklessness joined with the quest for pleasure to lead to unexpected blessings.


"Hey, man. I stopped by your house earlier, but no one was home."

Soda joined Steve on the Randles' front porch. "Yeah. I've been with Penny for the last couple hours."

Steve sat down on the porch swing, noticing the glowing smile on his best friend's face. "Oh yeah?"

Soda sighed, as he sat down on the edge of the swing, his eyes set on the sky that was still blue with daylight. "Yeah."

"Man, you're too damn easy to read sometimes."

"I am?"

"You and Penny slept together, didn't you?"

"Yeah. We did. She told me she wanted to."

"Good for you, buddy. Hey, not trying to ruin your mood, but how was your doctor's appointment?"

"Not awful, I guess. I ain't happy about it, but not shocked either."

"I take it that means the tests said you do have nerve damage then?"

"Yeah."

Steve saw how the smile had evaporated from his best friend's face and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I'm sorry, buddy. You said it wasn't awful. What's that mean?"

Soda tried to blink back the tears that had filled his eyes. "Dr. Simons says he thinks I'll see an improvement if I do some things."

Seeing how close Soda was to crying, Steve wrapped him in a hug. "That's good though, man. That's so good."

Soda returned the embrace, squeezing Steve for a moment, before pulling away. "I know. I ain't even sure why I'm crying about it."

"I am. You're hurt, buddy. You got something in your body that's not doing what it's supposed to."

Soda sniffled, as he wiped the tears from his face. "Yeah. I guess that's true."

"So what do you do to treat this then?"

"That's the thing about it, Stevie. What he said is so simple. I gotta wear a splint at night for a while. Then, I'm supposed to use ice packs and a heating pad on my arm and hand. Dr. Simons said all of it can help with the pain and the other symptoms. He said to take time to rest and elevate them everyday too."

"It does sound simple. What is all that supposed to actually do?"

"Help blood flow better and help the nerve that's hurt not have so much pressure on it. Something like that anyway."

"That makes sense."

"I just hope it really does help."

"It will, man. Hey, why don't we go inside and play some cards? Five bucks says I can beat you in a hand of rummy."

"You're giving me another chance to take even more of your money?"

"So long as you don't cheat. I know how you are, man."

"Oh, I'll give it a shot, Stevie. But I sure can't make any promises."


Nicholas lit the two candles he'd placed in the center of Audrey's dining room table, then turned the dial on the radio on the counter.

Audrey watched Nicholas choose a station in the dim light, hearing the room begin to fill with the sound of slow classical music.

Nicholas held out his arms, drawing near Audrey. "May I have this dance?"

"Of course you may." Audrey stepped forward, feeling Nicholas' hands on her waist, as she put her own on his shoulders. "This sure is romantic."

Nicholas moved his feet, making them sway back and forth on the kitchen tile. "I'm glad you like it."
Audrey danced closer to Nicholas, inhaling the scent of his cologne.

Nicholas pressed his forehead to Audrey's, before tilting her chin up and kissing her, their lips remaining locked in tune with the music.


"It was good, man. But I ain't going to say anything other than that, you know?"

Steve sat across from Soda, putting down an ace of hearts with a two, three, and four. "Sure, buddy. I know. I'm not askin' for details. Just wondered if it was nice, like you said you wanted it to be."

Soda drew a card, then laid down a King, Queen, and Jack of clubs. "It was. Real nice, actually. Worth some waiting."

Steve, down to three cards, searched for plays among the ones on the table between them. He then laid down a ten of clubs and added a card to the discard pile. "You're about to owe me five bucks, man."

"Damn." Soda held four cards in his hand, finding not a single play. He tossed one into the discard pile. "You really think you got more points than me though?"

"Yep. Sure do." Steve drew a card, finding it was a five of hearts. He played it on the existing run, then threw his last card in the discard pile. "I'm out, man. Time to count them up."


"Hey, Dal, good to see you man. It's been a while."

Dallas nodded at Soda, as he shrugged. "Well, you know. It ain't been easy for me either, man."

TwoBit chimed in, as he sat in front of the TV, eating a slice of chocolate cake. "Boy, you sure missed it one day, Dally. Darry just about punched Steve's lights out!"

Steve reacted quickly, seizing the front of TwoBit's shirt. "Shut up, man, or I'll punch your lights out."

Dallas chuckled. "Ooh, better watch it, Keith. Steve is pissed."

Steve released TwoBit, then came to stand beside Soda. "I'm not pissed. I just don't like talking about that."

Dallas took another look at Steve's face, seeing the signs of a fading bruise and a bit of swelling. "He really clocked you good, huh?"

Soda chuckled, as he saw Steve's glowering expression that was leveled at TwoBit. He gave his best friend a light shove. "Nobody means any harm, Stevie. It's over."

Steve grinned, in spite of himself. "Yeah. I'm tellin' you, Dal. Don't ever insult Darry."

Dallas raised his eyebrows. "It took getting fuckin' punched for you to figure that out? Shit, man, I don't need Darry's fist to teach me that lesson."


Nicholas took Audrey's hand in his own, the music still playing, as he twirled her around in a circle.

Audrey then felt Nicholas' hand on the small of her back, smiling up at him, as he leaned forward to dip her. "Hey, you're pretty good at this."

Nicholas guided Audrey back up with him, pulling her close once again, as the music's tempo slowed down. "I was a pretty good dancer back in my day."

"Back in your day? You make yourself sound old."

"Steve thinks I'm old."

"Steve is your son, who loves to tease you, so of course he says that."

"That's true."

"You know what?"

"What?"

Audrey touched Nicholas' face, feeling the stubble brush against the skin of her fingers. "For a man who's old, you sure do look amazing."


Steve stacked up the cards he'd played in the previous hand, finished tallying up his score. "All right, man. You owe me some money. It's time to pay up."

Soda abruptly stood to his feet, his chair screeching against the floor, as he did.

Steve watched as Soda went to stand by the kitchen window, seeing him press his hands to the glass. "Soda? Something wrong?"

This isn't that, Soda told himself. It's just Steve. Those weren't even the same words. "No. Nothing's wrong. I just- what you said about the money."

Damn it, Steve thought, as he went to stand near Soda. "I'm sorry, man."

"It's not your fault, Stevie. Besides, what else can you say? You're right. I did lose, so I owe you five bucks." Soda reached into his jeans pocket, then handed Steve a five dollar bill.

Steve took the money, shoving it into his back pocket. "Yeah. But still. I don't ever want to be the one reminding you of that."

"I think I'm okay anyway. Just sort of jolted me, you know?"

"We can do something else, or we don't even have to bet if-"

"You know what bothered me the most today about my doctor's appointment?"

"What?"

"The word damage. Cause if I have a nerve that's damaged, doesn't it mean I am?"

"No. That's not what it means. I don't like that word either, buddy. Not unless I'm talkin' about a car or something like that. You have an injured nerve, but nothing about you is damaged."

"I keep feeling like it is."

"I know what you're talkin' about, man. I've felt like that too, even though it was from something different."

"You ain't damaged either, Stevie."

"I know that. And I promise, buddy, that feeling is going to have to let go of you too."

"How do you know?"

"Cause it's lying to you. It's so fucked up, it can't even see the truth."


"Hey, you two. Having a slumber party?"

Steve shot Nicholas a look, as he sent back a sarcastic reply. "Oh, yeah, Dad. Don't we look cute in our jammies? We're about to wash our hair and do our nails."

Soda burst out laughing, falling over, so he was sprawled flat on Steve's bedroom floor.

Nicholas laughed and clapped Steve on the shoulder. "Well, don't forget the makeup, Son. You could use a little eye shadow and lipstick."

Soda laughed so hard, his eyes watered, and he sat up, trying to catch his breath. "Ya'll are the best. Come on, Stevie. I'll even put some mascara on your lashes. It'll really bring out your blue eyes."

Steve joined in the laughter. "Shut up, man, or I'll bring out your eyes, all right." He turned to Nicholas. "Speaking of lipstick, I bet there's been some on you tonight, Dad."

Nicholas chuckled, ruffling Steve's hair. "Wouldn't you like to know, Son. So, really, what are you guys up to?"

Steve shrugged, as he sat cross-legged on his bed. "The usual. Playing cards, talking, and stuff."

Soda looked at Nicholas, noticing the way he was dressed. "Hey, you're lookin' real sharp. Audrey must've liked seeing you."

Nicholas saw Steve start to speak. "Don't even, Son. I know that look on your face." He then turned to Soda. "Thank you, Sodapop. I like looking nice for her. We spent a little time dancing tonight."

Steve couldn't hold back his laughter. "Dancing, huh? Please tell me you didn't do that in public, Dad."

Nicholas rolled his eyes, as he shoved Steve's shoulder. "Actually, we danced naked in the street, Son. It was a blast."


"Ponyboy, I got a call from your school earlier today."

Pony's eyes got wide, as he looked from his English homework to Darry. "Huh? I haven't done anything to get in trouble. I promise, Darry."

Soda, his own homework pushed aside, grinned at his little brother, as he could easily read Darry's expression. "Relax, Pone. You'd know it if it was that kind of call."

Darry sat down on the arm of the couch beside Pony. "He's right. You're not in any trouble. But your principal did call me about your grades. He says your teachers believe you could be bored in the eighth grade."

Pony looked down at the essay he was currently working on, then back at Darry. "So what does that mean?"

Darry smiled wide, as he touched Pony's shoulder. "It means that, if you want to, you can skip eighth grade, and go to high school a year early."

Soda looked over at the science notebook he'd left open on the floor, seeing the scattered notes on biology he'd tried so hard to comprehend. Even still, he shot Pony a smile. "Great job, little brother. I'm proud of you."


"Hey, Sodapop, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Soda paused in the middle of the porch and turned to see Nicholas coming out the front door. "Oh. Yeah, sure."

Nicholas led Soda over to the porch swing, both of them sitting down. "Sodapop, I just want you to know I'm here for you too. I know you've got Darry and obviously, Steve. But still, I'm here if you ever need me."

"Steve's told you a lot, hasn't he? About me, I mean?"

"He has. Not everything, I'm sure. But enough. Even if he didn't, I can see there are things you're struggling with."

"He's okay, right? I don't want him to stop taking care of himself or overwhelm him with the stuff we talk about. But I know I've hurt and scared him sometimes too."

"Steve wants you to keep talking to him, Sodapop. He is okay too. So don't worry."

"I love watching you two together. It felt good to laugh that hard tonight."

"It does feel good, doesn't it? I know exactly what you mean."

"It still bothers me sometimes, Nicholas. It bothers me to think about what Steve went through. It feels weird to know that, for six years, I had no idea."

"It's hard to imagine it not bothering you. You guys love each other as much as any blood brothers. You really haven't even known for all that long either."

"No. I guess not. I just feels like forever since he told me. I've never even told him how much it hurt to hear."

"I'm sure he knows."

"Then, I started remembering more stuff and putting it together. I'll never forget how Steve pulled me away from her. He couldn't protect himself, but he still protected me."

"I need to tell you something, Sodapop. I should have a long time ago."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you were ever even around someone like Clara. I'm sorry that when I tried to bury everything like the abuse didn't happen, you didn't get to be there for Steve, like you would have been."

"But I still was there for him. He told me I was everyday."

"But still. I apologize for how much you've been affected by this too."

"It's okay. Cause you didn't know about her and what was happening, and I guess you didn't know the best thing to do after either."

"No. I guess I didn't. I screwed up a lot."

"But you're fixing it now."

"I sure am."

"Do you look back and think you should've seen it?"

"Yes. I always have. Even when I wouldn't talk about it with Steve, I'd think about any clues that could've made me figure out what was happening. They were there too, but I didn't see them for what they were."

"I know I was just a kid too, and I never even saw anything, but ever since Steve told me, I've had this picture in my head of him in his bed. And her there with him. I'd forgotten all about Clara even being around, but looking back, I remember her smiling at me all the time and saying weird things. I remember hearing her talking on the phone, telling somebody she'd never touch a child like that. It took me months to tell Steve that part. Cause I felt so bad for not saying anything."

"Steve told me about that, and you know what? I should've talked to you right after. It was never your responsibility to know what she was talking about. You were an innocent kid, Sodapop. An innocent kid, who was the most stable presence in my son's life back then and for years after, even though you weren't aware of how much of a difference you made."

"Thank you. Thank you for saying that."

"I'm saying it because it's true. Steve needed you then, and he still needs you now."

Soda tried to hide the tears that had formed in his eyes. "He's my best friend. I barely even remember my life without him."

Nicholas saw the tears that Soda was holding back, the sight making his own eyes water. "You look like you need a hug again."

Soda felt Nicholas' arms pull him in close. "Seems like I always do lately."

Nicholas held his son's best friend, as he set up a silent prayer. "That's okay. Thank you for being such a good friend to my son. He loves you. And I do too."


"Hey, isn't that awful cold?"

Soda grinned at Pony, an ice pack resting on his right arm. "Well, yeah, Pone. It is ice."

Pony picked up a pillow and swung it at Soda's head, as they both laughed. "You smart ass!"

Soda moved the ice pack from his arm to his fingers, letting its coldness press into them. "I try my best."

"So you're supposed to do that every night or what?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. Day or night, whenever I can. Either this or a heating pad. Doc said to try both cause either one could help with the symptoms I've got."

"Does it feel good?"

"Yeah. I think so." Soda put the ice pack aside and picked up the splint, then started to wrap it around his arm.

Pony watched as Soda secured the velcro that would hold the splint in place. "How is that supposed to help?"

"Doc said something about compression being good for it, like it can help the nerve heal."

"Oh."

Soda switched off the lamp and settled himself into bed, pulling the comforter up over his shoulders. "Hey, Pone, could you put that ice pack back in the freezer for me? I'm going to go ahead and turn in. Good night."

Pony picked up the ice pack, watching his brother's eyes close. "Sure, Soda. Good night. See you in the morning."


Pony poured himself a glass of chocolate milk, as he sat down across from Darry. "He went to bed kind of early for a Friday night. I can't believe he's still sleeping."

Darry spooned some sugar into a mug of coffee. "Well, he went through a lot this week. Must've worn him out."

"He's seemed pretty good the last couple of nights. Almost normal even."

"I think it's pretty normal to have ups and downs. Especially for Sodapop, since he's usually been one to bounce back quickly. That part of him is still in there."

"Darry, do you think he has that kind of depression, where you get really high, then low again?"

"You mean manic depression? No, Pone. I'm sure that's much more extreme."

"Oh. You're taking him to the doctor next week, right?"

"Yeah."

"You don't think she'll tell Soda anything bad, do you?"

"No. I think she'll just talk to him. I'm not sure exactly how she'll help, but we'll just have to see."


Soda waved to Steve, as his best friend made his way down the hall. He then sighed, shoving all of his textbooks in his locker, before slamming it shut. "Man, I'm glad it's Friday."

Soda turned and started to head out into the courtyard, but paused when a blue-eyed blond in a red top and a knee-length skirt caught his eye. Sandy, he thought. Her name is Sandy. She's in my history class.

Soda walked toward Sandy, his eyes focused only on her. He flashed her his biggest smile, his confidence soaring when she smiled back. "Hi. You're new here, right? We're in the same history class. I'm Sodapop."

Sandy pulled her hair back into a ponytail, her face only touched up by a bit of makeup. "Oh, I could never forget that name."

"I even got a brother named Ponyboy."

"I couldn't forget that either. I just moved here from Florida cause my dad got a new job. It was tough leaving my school so late in the year, but folks here seem nice enough."

"Yeah. Tulsa's not too bad mostly. Except for the Soc and Greaser stuff."

"The what?"

"Nothin'. But maybe I'll have time to explain when you let me take you out tomorrow night."

"Are you asking me on a date, Sodapop?"

"I do believe I am, Sandy. Pick you up around seven?"

"I can't wait."


"Yeah. I told Mr. Coleman I'd come in earlier, so I can get off a little sooner."

Nicholas saw Steve buttoning up his DX shirt, as he set a plate of French toast in the center of the table. "So you're just in time to have some breakfast with me then."

Steve straightened out the collar of his shirt, then joined his dad at the table and served himself two slices of the French toast. "So I'm not trying to be nosy. Or maybe I am. But what were you and Soda talking about last night? You went out the door awful fast to catch him before he left."

Nicholas cut up a slice of French toast, then took a bite of it. "I just wanted to tell him I'm here for him too. I realized I'd said it to you, but never directly to him."

"That's good, Dad. Soda really needs to hear that a lot, I think."

"We talked a little more than that, and I told him I'm sorry for how things affected him too. It's something I should've done sooner."

"Things? What things?"

"With Clara, Son. I apologized to him for all that happened back then, even though he didn't know about it at the time."

"Oh. That's not bothering him, is it? Please tell me it's not."

Nicholas hesitated, uncertain of the level of confidence that existed.

"Dad? Did Soda tell you something?"

"Yes, Son. He did. Not much, but yes."

"You still haven't answered my question. Is what happened to me bothering Soda?"

"He said it does sometimes. But that's not unexpected. Think about it, Son. He hasn't even known for a year."

"That's true."

"He's been your best friend all this time, so that's a painful secret to process."

"I know that. I know it was hard for him. We've talked through a lot of stuff too. But I didn't realize it was bothering him anymore, even if I should have. I mean, I know better than anybody, right? Things don't just go away."

"No. They don't. Especially when they haven't even had time."

"He has said some things that sort of told me he must be thinking about it. But I didn't really catch it, you know? Cause we were talking about now, not back then."

"Maybe you should ask him about this yourself, Son. I really don't think he's trying to keep it from you. He was just talking cause he knew I'd understand when it comes to anything to do with you."

"Yeah. I get that. But maybe I'll ask him about it tonight."


That hurts, Soda thought, as his eyes opened. I want to sleep. I don't want to wake up.

"Hey, Sodapop. You awake? You gotta get up sometime today."

Soda closed his eyes again, rolling away from the sound of Darry's voice. "Don't want to, Dar."

Darry made his way over to Soda's bed and sat down close to his brother. "Did you have a hard time sleeping last night?"

Soda felt Darry touch the back of his head, his eyes opening once more. "No."

"Is your stomach bothering you again?"

"No."

"Then, why aren't you getting up?"

"Just told you I don't want to."

"Why don't you want to?"

"Cause I want to sleep." If I'm asleep, Soda thought, I can't think.

"It's not good for you to lie in bed all day, Sodapop."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Wake up and get dressed, then have lunch with me."

"Okay."

"It's really nice outside today, little buddy. We can go toss the football around the yard."

Soda, his head still on the pillow, turned to look at Darry. "Okay. I guess I can do that."

Darry nodded toward the splint that was still on Soda's arm. "Was it comfortable enough sleeping with that on?"

"Yeah. It was fine." Soda reached for the velcro straps and started to undo them.

"So what do you want to eat?"

Soda slid the splint off his arm, seeing his scar that had been hidden while he slept. "Doesn't matter, Dar. Just not bologna."

"You sound like Pony."

"It was the last thing I had before I threw up that first time."

"Oh, okay. So no bologna then." Darry saw that Soda was staring at his scar. "It's healed up, little buddy. Looks good."

But it'll always be there, Soda thought. "Yeah. It does." Even when it starts to fade, it'll never, ever go away.

Darry watched Soda for another moment, before he ruffled his hair and stood up. "Well, you get dressed, and I'll start lunch."

Soda sat up in bed, eyes reluctantly wide open, as Darry left him alone. I still don't want to be awake, he thought. Cause when I'm asleep, I don't feel anything. When I close my eyes, nothing can hurt.


"Hey, Pony, you're supposed to catch the ball, not fall on your ass running after it."

Pony picked himself and the football up off the grass, as he sent TwoBit the finger. "Somehow, I think you have no room to talk."

Soda chuckled, recalling the story Steve had told him only a couple of days before. "He's right, TwoBit! We heard about your trip down the slippery hallway."

TwoBit caught the football Pony had thrown to him, then tossed it to Soda. "Man, I was so graceful about it too. Ya'll should've seen me."

Darry came out the front door, re-joining the others in the yard. "You out here harassing my kid brothers, TwoBit?"

Soda tossed the football to Darry. "Of course he is, Dar. That's what he does best."


"Hey, Darry, Pony went with Johnny to the movie house, and I'm about to go on a date."

Darry stood in front of his dresser and pulling a t-shirt over his head, before he looked at Soda. "Okay. Pony said that was what he might do tonight. But who's the girl you're seeing?"

Soda smiled, despite the questioning in his brother's vocie. "Her name's Sandy."

"And what will you and Sandy be doing tonight?"

"I'll take her to get a bite to eat. Then, maybe we'll go to the drive-in."

"Where will you be eating, and in what vehicle?"

"The Dairy Queen, I guess. And I was going to ask you if I could use your truck."

"All right, little buddy. You can. No tickets. Got me?"

"Yeah. Got it."

"Be home by ten, Sodapop."

"Ten? Darry, isn't that kind of early?"

"No. Not when you're sixteen and going out with a girl. I don't know what time her parents expect her home, but you can be damn sure not too late. I'm not going to have you making a bad impression."

"Come on, Dar. You've been out late with girls lots of times."

"Exactly, little buddy. But not when I was just sixteen. I don't want you getting in any trouble or getting Sandy in trouble."

"But I ain't going to- you know. That's not what we're planning."

"Not yet, you're not. You got a condom? Cause I swear if-"

"Darry! I ain't saying we'll never. But not tonight. It's our first date. She's not that kind of girl. I can tell."


"Man, I haven't seen you with a beer in a while."

Soda put the bottle to his lips, taking a long swallow, as Steve joined him on the Curtis' front porch. "Yeah. Just felt like a drink."

Steve took a seat on the swing, his feet making it sway back and forth. "You haven't had a beer since the time you went to that bar, have you?"

Soda turned to face Steve, leaning against the porch rail, as he took another swallow of beer. "Nah. I haven't. But I sure ain't going to overdo it and make myself sick again. I've been sick enough."

"Soda, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, Stevie."

"Come sit down first, man."

Soda did as he was asked, sitting beside Steve, as he eyed what was left in the beer bottle. "I shouldn't drink around you, should I? Cause you can't with your medicine."

"No. It's fine. That really doesn't bother me."

"So what did you want to ask me that I need to sit down for?"

Steve looked around the porch, a memory crystal clear in his own head, as he put his hand on Soda's shoulder. "Do you ever still think about the night I told you I'd been abused?"

"Sure. I think about it sometimes. Why?"

"Cause I've wondered if any of that bothers you now. You've kind of said some things to me that sound like it's on your mind."

"Oh."

"So does it?"

"What?"

"Does it bother you?"

"Yeah. But how could it not? Did your dad tell you something?"

"Only cause I asked and wouldn't let him out of it after he told me he apologized to you."

"Oh. What did he tell you?"

"Just that you said it bothers you sometimes, buddy. Nothing else."

"I don't even know what made me say any of that to him last night."

"I do. He's my dad. You're the two most important people in my life."

"He told me he's here for me too, and next thing I knew, I was kind of pouring my heart out."

"He must've caught you at the right time."

"Yeah. I guess he did."

"I'm wanting to ask more than I just did, man. Cause I remember everything you've told me before."

Soda tipped the bottle back and swallowed the last of the beer, before setting it down. "So just ask then."

"Do you still have that guilt you told me about at the church?"

"Damn, you're going to make me want another drink, Stevie."

"I'm sorry, man. It's just I know how long that kind of shit can stick around and how much it can tear you up inside. And this is about something that happened to me, you dig? So I want to help fix it. If it's bugging you still, I want to make it better."

"It is. It is still bugging me. Not like then. Not all the time. But I guess I do still feel guilty."

"It's not your fault, buddy. I told you before, and I'm telling you again. You were just a kid too."

"You told me what happened to you right here on this porch, Stevie. I'll always remember it."

"Me too."

"When you said she hurt you, everything just kind of stopped, you know? Even when I didn't know what you meant yet. Then, you said she touched you and- and I didn't know what to say at all."

"I just needed you to be there, buddy. And you were."

"It hurt me so bad to see you like you were that night. You had never cried that hard before. I wanted to hug you, and at first, I thought you might not let me."

"That was what I needed, man. And as much as I don't blame my dad anymore, you were the first one to really hear me. You were the first one to tell me it wasn't my fault. You were the first one to tell me it was okay to be real. I didn't have to pretend with you."

"No. You sure didn't. I wanted to help more than anything too. Even if I felt like nothing I said could possibly mean much. When I did hug you, it was like you collapsed into me. I still remember looking up at the sky and praying for anyone listening to help you."

"All of it meant everything, buddy. It still does."

"I would've sat out here with you all night, Stevie. Cause even though you hadn't told me a lot, I knew you needed to talk. I knew that was so much pain to have kept inside all those years. As soon as you said it, I couldn't think of anything but how she'd abused you in the worst way. Cause you should've been able to trust her, and you were just a kid. I'd known something was going on with you and that it had something to do with Clara, but I never would've thought it was this bad. It was hard to realize that had been happening to you without me even knowing about it."

"I remember being so damn terrified after I told you. But you said the right things then too. And you said them all again later when I got to feeling like I regretted saying anything cause I was so afraid of how everybody looked at me."

"You already know I didn't see you any different. Not even for a second."

"Do you know what I was the most scared of, right before you told me about what you'd heard Clara say on the phone?"

"What?"

"I thought you were going to tell me she'd touched you too or that she'd come a lot closer than she did at your house that one night."

"Oh. I didn't know you ever thought that."

"Yeah. So I was kind of relieved. Cause as much as I don't want you feeling guilty for not being able to stop the abuse, just wondering if it happened to you too was a hell of a lot worse."

"What made you wonder?"

"Just cause I knew you were trying to hide something. I could see you were hurting, and you kept seeming like it was going to spill out. So when I saw you sitting at the altar like that, I kind of braced myself inside. Even if you'd tried, I wouldn't have let you go til you got whatever was bothering you so much out."

"Yeah. I could tell you wouldn't have."

Steve put his arm around Soda's shoulders, not expecting it when his best friend then wrapped him in a full hug. "Is there anything left for me to say, buddy? Anything that can make that guilt better?"

Soda kept Steve close, holding onto him just as he had the night he'd revealed the truth about the abuse he'd suffered. "You've said it all, Stevie. Just that you asked me about it helps. Your dad even told me last night that I was the most stable presence in your life back then. That made me cry."

"Cause you were, man. But it means a lot coming from my dad. I know it does."

"Somehow, just knowing he doesn't blame me either for not saying anything means a lot too."

Steve felt Soda squeeze him tighter, as he hugged him back. "I'm sure. I bet you can see how my dad and me are like we are now. He's good to talk to. I love him more than I ever thought I could."

"You've told me all the time lately. So I just want to tell you I love you so much. I mean it, buddy."

Steve pulled away from the embrace, giving Soda a grin. "Damn. And I thought we had a lot of sappy moments between us before."

Soda smiled along with Steve, blinking back the tears in his eyes. "Yeah, now we're two tough greasers, who hug and bawl our eyes out on a porch."

Steve blinked back his own tears, as he relaxed against the porch swing, his eyes not leaving Soda. "But we are the toughest, buddy. We're tough in all the ways that count."